Shaddyr's Eclectic Collection > Buffy Fanfiction > A Bit on the Side

 

A Bit On The Side
by Ariana

SUMMARY: Dawn makes Spike an offer he's very eager to refuse.
SPOILERS: Set straight after "All Of Me" (6x06)
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I am making no profit from this. Buffy remains the property of Mutant Enemy. Just to set your minds at rest, nothing angsty or nasty happens (though I suppose if you were into that kind of thing, you could easily rewrite the story!).

"I can see what you want
But you seem pretty young
To be searching for that kind of fun
So maybe I'm not the one"

- Abba - "Does Your Mother Know?"

 

Spike's senses were on the alert as he descended to the lower level of his crypt. Someone was down there; he had felt their presence as soon as he came home. And now it seemed that whoever it was had also lit all the candles.

"Buffy?" he called out warily.

"No, but the next best thing," came the answer.

Spike stared at his bed, and then turned away. He was in such a state of shock that it took him a moment to process what he had just seen.

"Okay. I'm going to close my eyes and when I open them, I want you to be fully dressed!"

There was the noise of the sheets being moved. Spike counted to ten and turned around again. She was now wrapped in the sheet, but obviously still naked underneath.

"Dawn, I said dressed!"

She just looked back at him with an insolent smile. Spike cocked his head sideways and stared at her in amazement. Dawn was wearing more makeup than usual; nothing tarty, but just enough to make her look older. Her dark hair was wrapped up in a bun, one of those magic ones held together with a single pin, and she wore dangling gold earrings. Definitely looked older like that.

"Don't you like me like this?" she asked in what was no doubt meant to be a sultry voice.

"Dawn, what are you doing?"

Her grown-up sultriness began to waiver. "Come on, Spike. It's not like you haven't thought of this, right?"

"Yes, it is," he said sternly, wishing he hadn't left his fags and booze upstairs. He needed something to do while he talked to her. He settled for pacing.

"I've never looked at you with anything but brotherly affection," he assured her. "So now, be a good girl; put your clothes on and I'll take you home before Buffy comes bouncing in here and finds you starkers in my bed!"

Dawn lowered her eyes and pouted. "I-I thought you'd be pleased. I mean, when's the last time anyone offered you sex?"

"That's beside the point," he exclaimed. "What on Earth made you think I'd want you in particular? Bloody hell, Dawn, you're only fifteen!"

"But I'm mature for my age," said Dawn, evidently pleased that he'd given her a tangible reason she could argue against. "And it's not like fifteen is really early these days. Loads of girls have sex at fifteen."

"Yeah, and loads of people commit suicide. That doesn't mean you want to be one of them!"

"You--You don't like me."

Dawn's big blue eyes were shiny and her painted red lips were beginning to quiver. Spike opened his mouth, then shut it again, then paced a bit and finally sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Dawn, you're lovely. Really. In ten year's time, you'll be a knock-out." He patted her arm, hoping that he was conveying brotherly concern and not any kind of sexual thing. "What's brought all this on anyway, Niblet?"

She lowered her eyes and took his hand. "You know, that boy - vampire I was with yesterday? I kissed him." She fixed her blue eyes on him. "He was the first boy I kissed. But, but then I thought about it, and I thought I really wished it was you."

"Oh, Dawn," he said, shaking his head.

"No, really. I love you, Spike. You must know that." She put her hand on his

chest. He could feel its warmth through the material of his T-shirt. "I've thought about this for months, and when I realised the boy who kissed me was a vamp, I thought why not?" She leaned in for a kiss.

"Bloody hell!" yelped Spike, springing to his feet. "The Powers That Be must really, really hate me! I've been handicapped, neutered, humiliated, jilted twice, *and* I'm in love with the bloody Slayer. And now I'm cast in the role of Humbert flipping Humbert!"

"Who?"

"The old guy from Lolita," he snapped. He turned towards her. "Dawn. This is completely and utterly wrong!"

Dawn scowled at him. "Wrong? Since when are you Mr Moral? I thought you said human ideas of right and wrong were 'rubbish'."

"The 'thou shalt not kill' kind, yes. The 'thou shalt not mess around with the underage sister of the woman thou lovest', on the other hand, is a rule I definitely agree with." He ran his hands through his hair. "I mean, bloody hell!"

Dawn shifted down the bed towards him. The sheet fell away slightly, revealing a long white leg and a foot with painted red toenails.

"I might appear young, but I'm the Key. I've existed for millennia, right? And I'm fully formed. Hell, I have bigger breasts than Buffy. They're really cool; want to see them?"

Spike swallowed hard and raised his hands. "No, no, I'm more of an arse man myself... And no, I don't want to see that either!"

"Oh. That figures," said Dawn thoughtfully. "Buffy isn't exactly large in the boob department. But I guess she has a nice butt."

"Buffy is just perfect. Everything I like in a girl. Little, strong and completely over 18."

"She's never gonna love you, though," said Dawn, shaking her head wisely. "I mean, she doesn't even seem to love me anymore." She frowned. "Maybe the monks' spell wore off because she was brought back."

"I think Buffy is just having trouble feeling any kind of emotion right now," he said reassuringly. At least, he hoped telling Dawn her sister was an emotional cripple was reassuring. "But you're not right about her and me. There's something there, under all the prejudice, and the ranting and raving. She kissed me once, just after Glory decided to use me as a punching bag. You never know when she might do it again."

"It's a pretty dim hope, though, don't you think?," said Dawn dubiously. "I mean, I can understand the after Glory thing. But now? She doesn't see you the way I do. I love you; I want you to be my first lover, Spike."

Spike stared at her in horror. He wondered if he could get one of Buffy's witchy friends to cast a spell later and make him forget all about this nightmare.

"Pardon me while I just go next door and stake myself... Dawn, I'm a *vampire*! And I've been around the block quite a few times, upside-down and all around. You don't want to have your first experience with some sleazy old vampire who's bonkers about your sister. You should have someone who loves you, who cares for you."

Dawn's pretty little face crumpled up like a wilting rose and her shoulders began to shake.

"You don't love me! You-You just hang out with me to get to Buffy," she sobbed. "I should have known it was all a show. It's just about Buffy. Everything is always about Buffy!"

"Oh f...fiddle," he swore, sitting on the bed again.

Spike put his arms around her, trying very hard not to touch any flesh. As it was, he could feel her breasts crushed against his chest. She was covered in Buffy smells, too; same shampoo, bath oils, makeup, washing powder. If he closed his eyes... but he'd promised himself he would never do that. Not after seeing the real Buffy's reaction to the Buffybot. The next woman he made love to would be Buffy or no one.

"Dawn, of course I love you," he said gently. "Just not like that. You're Buffy's little sister, Niblet, and regardless of your figure, which I can assure you is very lovely, you're still a child. Surely you can see I can't do this, not to either of you. I know you feel that everything's always about Buffy; but the truth is that she's the one I love in a romantic sexual way. I wouldn't be with you, little bit; my mind and my heart would still be with her. So give yourself a few years, and then find a man for whom everything is about Dawn. Okay?"

Dawn kissed his cheek. The touch of her warm lips on his skin made Spike tense, ready to jump away again. But Dawn pulled back.

"I guess I made a fool of myself, huh?" she said, wrapping the sheet around her coyly.

Spike reached behind her to pull out the pin in her hair. It fell down in a heavy cascade over her bare shoulders, taking years off her appearance. He licked his thumb and ran it over each eyelid, rubbing off some of the dark powder. Finally, he wiped off her red lipstick.

"Don't be in a mad rush to grown up, little bit. There'll plenty of time for that when you're older." He grinned. "Now, get those clothes on before Buffy finds out and stakes me!"