Previously on Quotes and Recs...

 

Gil had Buffy seriously confused. Confused and jumpy. She should have staked him on sight, but he hadn't actually done anything to warrant Slayage. Yet. Other than exist, which was usually reason enough for her. But it would be rude to stake Spike's houseguest, right? Maybe he had a soul, too. Oh yeah, because there are so many of those around.

On second thought, there really were. The population of soulful vampire boyfriends, present and former, had certainly doubled recently. Possibly the worldwide population was exploding, and there would soon be a plague of moody, guilt-stricken ex-fiends to deal with, and Buffy would be out of a job. With her luck, they would all move to Sunnydale and try to date her. Xander would combust, he really would.

From "Little Earthquakes"
Part 8 of Avatar
by Mint Witch

It probably wouldn't have happened if he'd kept in touch with Angel.

But he was still on the outs with the old poof and they weren't in the habit of exchanging friendly warnings. Of course, torture will do that to a relationship.

From "Stakes and Lawyers"
Part 1 of After Dust
by emg

"Are you telling me to use Spike for sex?"

"Why not? Carpe diem."

"Carpe diem, huh? I can just hear Giles...‘you went and fornicated with another vampire? Buffy, how could you? Sacred duty’ blah blah blah...'

"First off Buffy, you used a big word, I’m impressed, and secondly, who cares? You have to take a chance, you know Spike is a sure thing, and it’s not like he’s got any other options... make with the smoochies and then tell me about it."

"WILLOW! If you’re that hard up for smoochies, you carpe diem with Spike."

From "Hushed"
Part 2 of The Adventures of Buffy and Spike
by Crazy Evil Dru

"It's alright to want me, pet. Why are you resisting?"

"I don't want you!" She jumped off of him and walked away. "That's not what it meant. It was a dream. It was symbolic."

He propped himself up. "And I symbolized...what? A terrific lay?"

"No... an arrogant vampire who can't keep his mouth shut." She folded her arms. "Oh, wait, that's literal."

From "Sultry"
Part 2 of In Heat,
by Nautibitz

"Growler?" Buffy asked with a smirk.

"Call 'em like I hear 'em," Dawn replied.

"Sorry about that. I didn't know the window was open."

"Buffy, the whole neighborhood heard that. Possibly the whole world."

Smiling, Buffy shrugged. "He's an animal, what can I do?"

"Get him a muzzle."

Spike's voice boomed from the upstairs bedroom, "I heard that!"

From "Black Out"
In Heat, Epilogue
by NautiBitz

Spike grinned. "I'm going to take a shower then get out of your sister's hair before she becomes less hospitable."

Dawn looked him over, taking in the large patches of slime and ooze on his front.

"You definitely need it," she said wrinkling her nose.

"Nibblet," said Spike innocently.

"Yeah?"

"Give us a hug."

From "Hot Chocolate"
by juliatheyounger

"‘This Saturday morning authorities discovered that vandals had once again knocked down the Sunnydale town sign.’"

"Spike was drunk Friday evening," Buffy waved a hand in the air dismissively. "Too easy."

" ‘The sign has been damaged 42 times in the last year alone’..." Joyce continued.

"Spike has a drinking problem," Buffy quickly amended.

From "The Morning News"
by Kantayra

"Okay...and we've been on the island for at least a week and a half..." Buffy dropped 15 pebbles into the can, glancing at him, "Calendar...don't say Coca-Cola never did anything for you."

Spike shook his head, turning his attention back to the pile of sticks lying in front of him and began to strike rock against rock, trying to get them to spark.

He gave out a shout when a spark shot into the dry sparks and began they began to smoke and he leaned down to blow on them.

They finally burst into flames, and Spike grinned at Buffy, proudly pounding on his bare chest, "Me make fire for Jane."

"Great, Tarzan...too bad you ate Cheetah. We coulda partied."

From "Castaways"
by Ripe Wicked Plum

“S'alright...” Spike beamed down at Will, “Looks like we're goin' to be givin' your grandmum a heart attack, Will.”

“Don't tell him that!” Buffy gave Spike a look, “My mom is not going to have a heart attack.”

“No, maybe not... but axes could come into play,” Spike instinctively rubbed that back of his head, as if relieving the night he had first tried to kill Buffy and had met the Slayer's wrathful, overprotective mother. “Maybe I'll let you go in first.”

From "Castaways"
by Ripe Wicked Plum

"It's not your job to worry about me anymore, hasn't been for a long time. Believe me...whatever little argument you have stored up to use against Spike, to try and make me see, and I use the term lightly, reason...it won't work. And I would thank you to back up off me right now, all right?!”

“Buffy...I wish you would just act mature about---“

“All right...out!” Buffy shoved him towards the door, “Angel Angst hour is over!”

“Buffy! You can't just pretend...”

“Listen...Spike's downstairs with a four-year-old who is even more hyperactive then he is, and Will can move pretty damn fast for a kid with short legs,” Buffy opened the door and gave Angel a bodily shove out of it, and he nearly slammed into Xander, who was about to knock on the door.

“Oh... God... I've waited an eternity for this,” Xander turned his eyes upwards, “Thank you, God, for finally letting me see Buffy toss Angel out on his ass.”

From "Castaways"
by Ripe Wicked Plum

"You're not dead!"

"Of course she's not dead, you bloody twit!" Spike snapped as he found his pants and jerked them on.

"But... I heard her screaming..." Xander looked confused, "It sounded like you were killing her!"

Faith glared at him. "Xander, they're both naked and you heard screaming... how much of a mystery is this NOT?!"

From "Castaways"
by Ripe Wicked Plum

"Why don't you take him down to Baby Gap and find him some clothing?" Joyce suggested. Spike stared at her as if she had gone completely insane.

"The day I bloody well step into any Gap of my own free will... will be the day that Satan damn well takes up ice fishing."

From "Castaways"
by Ripe Wicked Plum

"Fuck!" Spike finally gasped between blood-tinged coughs. "Can I at least get through a week without someone puttin' a bloody hole me?" His eyes fluttered open and rolled around before settling on the half-dozen Xanders hula-hooping in his view. "Oh my God," he croaked. "I'm in hell. No. Wait. That's Angelus in a tutu and blond pigtails doing Gilbert and Sullivan's greatest hits." He squinted, unsuccessfully attempting to realign his vision. "Like the skirt, Harris. Can I request 'Tiny Bubbles'?"

"We've known each other for a while, right?" Hand under one armpit, Xander hauled Spike to a sitting position. "Is it too much to ask that if you're going to get your ass beat into the ground, you could at least do me the courtesy of a ringside seat?"

From "Exquisite Corpse"
by d.irge and Thrombus

"One minute I'm strolling along, mindin' my own business, next thing..."

"Death becomes you?" Pulling the vampire to his legs, Xander slung a limp arm over his shoulder and glanced down. "You know, I can see right through you. How does it feel if I stick my hand right in--"

"Uh... like I've got a frickin' hole in my chest?" Spike swatted weakly at the inquiring finger. "Stop that!"

"Touchy..."

From "Exquisite Corpse"
by d.irge and Thrombus

"I'm getting mental pictures of the two of you together." She cocked her head thoughtfully. "Are you going to have sex again? Now? Can I watch?"

Spike had just started to nod, a delighted grin covering his face, when Xander yelped out another startled "No!"

Anya frowned. "No to which? You having sex now, or me watching?"

"Either! Both! Argh!" Xander tugged at his hair in frustration. *Why is this my life? And the naked, sexy, extremely fuckable vampire on the couch is doing nothing to help this situation!* Not for the first time, he cursed his wayward libido.

The ex-demoness sighed wistfully. "Oh. Well, in that case, I'll be going now." Clothes in hand, she ascended the stairs. At the top, she paused to add, "Oh yeah, I was at a... slumber party?... with Willow and Tara before I came over here, and they said I should tell you about the meeting tonight. Giles' place, 8:00. But if you don't want to come, I'll just let everyone know you're too busy having sex with Spike, and can't make it." With that, she left.

From "Coming Out"
by Kayla

"Well, at least one of us remembered to come prepared." She smiled. "Have fun! But, um, try not to take too long, ok? Buffy wants to talk with that guy, and for some reason, she doesn't want to see the two of you having sex." A frown appeared briefly. "I don't see why not. I think you're very fun to watch." With a wave, she vanished again, closing the door behind her.

Xander giggled as he held the tube of cherry flavored lubricant out to Spike. "That's Anya for you. Never leaves home without her supply of frying pans, canned meat, and lube. Gotta love a girl like that."

From "Last Night of Our Lives
by Kayla

Willow was stabbing a vampire in the chest repeatedly with a long, thin branch. "Poof, damn it," she yelled in exasperation. "I poke you with wood, you go poof. That’s how it works. It’s a universal invariant."

Angel took a look at the skewered vamp and his eyebrows rose. "Actually, it’s not. I don’t think the master went poof either," he commented. "And you’ve got a very, very old vampire there. Aurelius is thousands of years older than old Heinrich." He looked at the unmoving figure. "Well, he was."

"So it’s an age thing?" said Willow, as she turned to face him. "The older the vampire, the less poof?"

"Could be," he said. "They get harder to kill the older they are, so maybe there is some kind of correlation."

Willow looked at the corpse at her feet. "I like the comfort of the dead vamp disappearing into a cloud of smoke." She smiled at Angel. "I like closure."

From "Domino"
part 14 of the Slave Series

by jodyorjen

"Stay the night?" he asked. "Not, not for sex," he added quickly. "So I can give you your present in the morning." Spike paused, having an internal battle between the part of him that was very touched by Xander's statement, and the part that wanted to go immediately into the gutter.

"All right," he said softly. Then the dirty part of his mind got the upper hand and he leered at Xander."But only if I can sleep naked."

"Ooh naked Spike...hmm let me think...free Spike strip show. Ok."

"You're really adjusting well to this whole gay thing aren't you, Harris?"

From "Mistletoe"
by Juliatheyounger

"What about the Judge?" Angel snapped back.

"Oh please! Dru, and you know it." Buffy got in on the act. "Spike liked the world and wanted it to continue. That’s why he switched sides. You just wanted to suck it into hell."

"Hey! Not me, Angelus," Angel corrected.

"Whatever. Point is, things changed when he came to Sunnydale. He’s self serving yes, but he isn’t out to destroy the world like some demons I know," Buffy countered.

Tara interrupted the annoyed stare off. "I’m glad I wasn’t around when you two dated."

"You have no idea," Cordy quipped. "It was pretty much duck and cover."

From "Shift"
by Joy

Normal was just a cycle on the washing machine.

From "Knowing"
by SomethInk Wild/Kari/Driven Spike

They watched as she retreated down an alley then Xander glared at Angel. "Why didn't you twist her neck? You got an awful lot of practice doing that while you were the resident evil."

"Why don't I twist yours?" Angel snapped.

"Why don't I shoot both of you and leave you here in a pile while Giles and I find Buffy." Willow yelled.

From "Please Remember Me"
by Chelle

Don't you have some brooding to catch up on? A sonnet to read? A corner to lurk in?" God, he had a way of pissing her off. Spike, on his stomach, glanced up at her and smiled, realizing that she was talking to Angel.

"Look, you can be hateful to me all you want to later, but right now you need to get your act together."

"You'll be gone later." Buffy replied smartly. "No time like the present to tell you that you're an asshole."

From "Please Remember Me"
by Chelle

Willow cleared her throat and said, "I think we'll have to go out to eat."

Buffy broke the kiss and glanced at her friend, not getting off of Spike's lap. "Why?"

Willow was holding a plate full of round, black objects. She picked one up and tapped it against the side of plate, making it clank loudly. "And it's a pancake."

"All is not lost." Buffy grinned. "I'll toss a few in my Slayer bag and sever a few heads with them."

From "Letting Go"
By Chelle

"When I was a newly turned vampling, Angelus and Darla started spending a bit of time with the Master and his court again.."

"Know him. I ground up his bones and staked his vessel. He killed me, too, once. Boy, was he an ugly one," Buffy interrupted.

"Yes, yes I know. The Annoying One was complaining about that before I fried him. Anyways-"

"You fried the half-pint? Cool. Do you know how much easier that made my life?"

From "The Legend of the Slayer"
part 12 of Secrets Don't make Friends
by Diva Delilah

"How many times do I have to tell you? He's a wanker, that's why! Christ, Buffy, I can't tell you how many times he sat there while Darla explained all the customs to Children. When Angelus was, well Angelus, he was about as useful as a thumb up your arse. All he thought about was killing wealthy people, and playing games with his victims. Anyone else who overheard that bitch droning out these practices all the time would have caught at least a bit eventually, but not Peaches, that sodding git."

She put a finger across his lips vertically. "I get the point, baby. He's an ass. Okay? You're the Big Bad and he's a poofy haired wanker. Feel better?" She smiled angelically at him.

"Only if you said that while straddling my lap with blood running down your neck, but a bloke can't have everything, can he?"

From "Once I was Blind"
part 16 of Secrets Don't make Friends
by Diva Delilah

Spike tried to pitch his voice just for Giles. "I'm thinking maybe one of your books has some sort of information about this soul business. It's not cramping my style, but I'd like to know more."

"I'm a soul-man, da da da da," Xander sang, imitating Dan Akroyd's deep bass.

"Fuck off," Spike suggested.

"Sensitive now, aren't we?"

"Was it the fuck or the off givin' you problems?"

From "The Heart's Filthy Lesson"
by Mustangsally and RivkaT

"Buffy!" he shouted, "Sword? Now?"

"'Fellatio' is a perfectly acceptable term?" She de-capped a vamp with grim glee. "Grand opening? Private breaking-in period?" A demon staggered back minus a hand and part of its tail. "Humiliation's a good look for you?"

"It's going to eat me!"

She paused in mid-massacre long enough to put her fist on her hip and give him Amazonian attitude. "Well pardon the *fuck* out of me if I'm not totally and completely concerned for your welfare."

A leather vamp rushed at her. Buffy held out a stake and it impaled itself. She didn't move a cell.

"I'm your ride home!" he reminded her.

"Shit," she swore and tossed the sword towards him.

From "The Heart's Filthy Lesson"
by Mustangsally and RivkaT

"Dawn.....do you realize who that was?" Buffy asked.

"Prince of Darkness, Satan, Beelzebub, the Devil, yadda, yadda, yadda... Lucifer, I know... no big."

"No big?! Dawn, are you crackers?!"

"No, I'm a hammer... or a screwdriver, possibly a wrench. I'm not really sure... but I do belong in the cosmic toolbox."

From "Scorched"
by Evenstar

Janice was silent for a moment, as if tallying something up in her mind. "Okay, another person added to my 'never want to meet' list. Do you realize that you personally know most of the people on that list?"

Dawn tried to look at the bright side of it. "At least most of them are permanently dead."

From "Cut From the Same Cloth"
by Tycho

His good mood recovered, Spike, who was sitting behind Angel, slapped the soulled vampire on the back of the head. "I think you're slipping up, poof. I can see a square inch of your hair that you forgot to gel. Quick! Toss me the your travel-sized and I'll fix it before anyone notices."

From "Nibblet"
by Cyndy

As the door exploded outward, Creed said "Second time today I’ve had to tell someone I’m not a demon," as he flipped Spike over his shoulder.

Spike spun himself around in mid-air and landed on his feet. "Yeah, but anyone tell you that this chip in my head does squat if I’m beatin’ up on a mutant?" he retorted, launching a kick into Creed’s side.

Creed spun around and crouched into an attack position, regarding the vampire for the first time as a possible threat. A very dangerous threat, he realized.

"And that means this town’s gonna see an absolutely glorious kicking of your ass," Spike informed his opponent, falling into a crouch of his own.

from "Confrontations and Collapses"
part 5 of "Taking the Initiative"
by Dorian Blackthorne

Glory, however, had other ideas. She managed to grab Buffy’s arm, and flung her towards her cousin, then turned and delivered a blow directly to Logan’s forehead.

The blow only slightly staggered Logan, and seemed to have much more affect on Glory.

"Clang? Who the fuck goes ‘Clang’ when you hit them?"

From "Gods and Mutants"

Part 6 of "Taking the Initiative"
by Dorian Blackthorne

"All I know is I’ve been completely thrashed here tonight by two wet females who seem to take great pleasure in giving me pain. And all I tried to do was help. Brilliant. What a stunning life I lead. God help me, where’s a stake when you need one?"

~Spike

From "Nebulae"

part 6 of "Starlight"
by Ariane