CON REPORT: James
does Seattle, '03
as posted on the Bloody Awful Gutter, March 5, 2003
And I am still having random moments of *SQUEEEEEEEEE* overtake me as I
try to function normally.
Did you know that exposure to James Marsters causes the synapses in ones
brain to fire more rapidly, causing one to attain a hyper acute state of
awareness? A state in which you *believe* that you are functioning normally,
but are, in fact, moving, thinking and speaking at about Mach 1, and no
one else on the planet can understand what you are on about?
Or maybe it's just me.
Gah.
That's it, ladies. Let's bottle up Essence of JM and sell it as an SSRI.
A hell of a lot more fun than Prozac. And all natural, too!!
Okay. So here's the run down. (Babble alert)
3 weeks before the con weekend begins: "Oh, I have plenty of time!"
3 days before the con weekend begins: "Arrrggghhh!! What was I thinking?
I'm *never* going to get all this stuff done!
3 hours before the con weekend begins: "Uhng. Need sleep, set alarm, zzzzzzzzzzzz...."
Friday. Even with having to go through Customs and deal with Seattle traffic,
the bus was only 1/2 hour late. Minty and the UGF picked me up at the station
and whisked me off to their home. Mint and I proceeded to talk books. I
was stunned when I realized that many hours had passed. Silly me. We were
talking books after all.
We all realized we were hungry, so the lovely and ever-so-kind UGF went
forth to forage and brought back Con weekend staples - beer, vodka, pizza
and Orange food. What else does any self-respecting fan need to sustain
life through a con Weekend after all?
Many beers and much fic/book/writing conversation later, Minty and I found
ourselves online chatting up Chen. And might I just interject here that
Mint doubles as the Amazing Human Dictaphone. And she does *not* edit out
beer burps. S'okay though. I had the opportunity to make a funny and see
her *almost* spew on the monitor. Why, yes, I am evil, thank you. Heh.
Saturday. I brought out the guitar and inflicted all sorts of music on Minty
- filk, folk, popular, old, new. Did a few OMwF tunes. Drank coffee. Debated
about the wisdom of bringing the guitar to the con. Ultimately decided against
it. (Ultimately ended up regretting it - more on that later) Drank more
coffee. Discussed music, got to listen to a whole bunch of cool stuff, was
introduced to a wonderful jazz/folk/pop singer who Totally!Rocks from Mint's
collection of nifty music. Made more coffee. Evenstar called - made dinner
plans. Talked fic. Talked books. Talked dogs, and neighbors and cons and
music and life and stuff. Drank more coffee. Went out. Did the Pasta thing
with Evenstar and Co. Walked around downtown Seattle for a bit. Discovered
that Minty knows everything. Cuz, you know - she does. She's like the Seattle
area trivia guide. Honest. Mica in the sidewalk makes it shiny. Ooo!! Cool,
huh?
Went back home. Minty made wicked Bloody Mary's. We looked at my different
cup insert designs. Watched the sex-on-a-stick that is JM as Charlemagne
Bolivar. Yummy... Oooo, abs! Oooo!! Shiny pants! Ooooh, fucking fan-TAS-tic
lines!! Yay! (Now I want to go out and find some Adromeda/BtVS xover fic...)
There was more goggling at Spike pics, the watching of Bring It On, (I luuurve
Faith!), followed by Buffy. Did ya'll know that just about *everything*
on the frickin' show can be traced back to NKABOTFD? Cuz, it can. It's like
this major ep, and I never realized. Whoa. See? Minty really *does* know
everything!
So, it was almost 4am when we dragged our butts to bed. Gah. 9am comes too
damn early when you have only had a few hours of sleep and you are totally
wired. Thank God for Coffee. We got all our shit together, got all purty,
and headed out on various errands - and then, finally, to the con.
Well, y'all have heard about the particulars from Jenn and Evenstar already
- no need for a recap on the Q&A's. I really don't think that I would be
able to give much of a recounting anyway. I was too buzzed. Just to mention
one thing from the James Leary/Andy Hallet talk - in regards to the possible
Angel soundtrack/album. James was going on about Andy and Lorne doing a
duet, and what would happen if they had a disagreement. "Yeah, you guys
would have a fight, and suddenly you'd be telling Lorne, 'I just can't work
with you!' and storm off leaving him to do rest of the album alone." I thought
Andy was going to hurt himself he was laughing so hard. And James just ran
with it. "I can just see it now. The 10 year reunion tour. The retrospective
TV special - 'Where are they now?' " Poor Andy just about had a hernia,
I swear. James Leary is a total card. And a sweetie to boot.
Oh, yeah, did I mention that James Leary was a total honey when I asked
for a picture? He jumped up from behind his little table in the lobby. "Sure!"
and out he came, put an arm around me. Squeeeeeee!!! It was a James hug.
All right, granted, not the one I was dreaming of, but it was pretty damn
cool. And then I got a picture with Minty and James L too.
Time just seemed to fly by, cuz suddenly it was time to take seats - James
Marsters was coming on stage. A whoo! and a HOO!! What a honey! And again,
vague recollections - ya'll will just have to be understanding and accept
the fact that A) Jen and Evenstar already gave full reports and B) I am
a total fan girl and was far too busy feasting on the eye candy to remember
a whole lot. He's so fulcing gorgeous. *sigh*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Ahem.
Thankyouforyourpatience.
The couple of things that made enough of an impression on me to last were
these:
He used to beat people up. He used to go out and look for people who deserved
to be beat up so he could beat them up. And he doesn't drink. In my brain,
this equates to someone who turns into a real scrapper when they are drunk.
So. Estimation of him rose yet another notch to know that he chooses to
not drink. Good for him.
One girl asked him, "What is the one thing that you want us, the viewers,
to take away from the show? What is the one thing that you want us to have
learned?" He looked stymied for a moment, then paned the audience, and laughed
wryly.
"You people are really making me think!" he responded, almost plaintively.
"Where are the make-up questions?'
There was much laughter, but after a few moments of thought this was his
response. "That winning isn't easy. That heroes bleed."
He paused at that point, and the applause started. Though he picked up the
thread and said a few more things, he'd already made the point. The rest
just reiterated it. The man is bloody insightful. Hear that sound? It's
the ratcheting noise my brain makes while lifting him another notch. *frown*
He's pretty damn near the top already. He better do something jerky soon
to help balance it all out.
And then came the part that made me wish I had brought the guitar. Someone
asked him to sing. "But I don't have my guitar," he reasoned. "And I don't
remember the words." GAH!!! Oh, HOW much would I have loved to jump up and
say "Hey! You can use mine! And the words? Not a problem! Got 'em right
here. Complete with the chords too, in case you forgot. And hey! If it's
the wrong key for you, no problem. Even have my capo." Oh, god. How cool
would that have been, to say he played my guitar.
That's it. The guitar is going with me *everywhere* in Florida. I'm going
to ask him to sing, and if he tries to say he's forgotten the words, I'll
whip out the 'ole music book and stand and offer to set it all up for him
- or play *for* him if need be. Heh. (yes, she *is* obsesso-girl)
All too soon it was over. Then there was much milling about and waiting.
I got to see the whole 'MotherFucker!' episode as it happened. (Curious?
Read Evenstar's report).Was a little too far away to hear the actual words
- just saw James startle as he looked up at this tall guy in a long black
coat, face transformed by shock (quickly followed by happiness), then jump
up and come around the table to wrap the guy up in a bear hug. Looked like
he'd found his best friend whom he had not seen for years. Maybe he had.
Mint and I took a smoke break. Chit chat. Talking about how cool it was
that Evenstar and Fenchurch were here. Wondering where Jen and Jodyorjen
were. I had pinned a print out of the Gutter Tee design to my bag in hopes
that any random guttersnipes out there would see it and recognize it. There
was a girl standing a few feet from us when I just popped up with "Jen!
Jodyorjen! Paging Jen and Jodyorjen!" The girl standing there looked at
me in surprise. "I'm Jodyorjen!"she exclaimed.
Whoa. Trippy. So I got to see Minty having a squee moment after being the
nice, cool, sane one the whole time so far while I had been running around
being the total fan girl. Heh. Cool.
Eventually it was time to get in line and wait for our turn for autographs.
It was fun, chatting with people around us, cons they'd been to, the normal
fannish chit chat that happens. A few feet from the door, I started to juggle
all my crap. I didn't have much, really, but these Starbucks tumblers are
a little awkward, unlike nice, flat pictures. Mint offered to help, but
I was being an airhead and said I could manage. Finally, we get in there.
Minty has a picture she wants Andy to sign. They were all out of pics of
him when she went to buy one - so she's got the gorgeous ab shot from Spike's
dream. Andy totally balked. "No way. I'm not signing his naked body!" We
both protested and begged very nicely, but he wasn't going for it. There
was nipple comment as well, but I missed the exact wording. It was bloody
funny! So, Andy gives her an 8x10 of him just cuz he will NOT sign on the
Nekid!Spike. Heh. I plunked my Karaoke disk down in front of him right after
that. "Okay, so will you sign my disk?" sez I. "That I can do," he replied
with a smile.
Just so ya'll know, I was fine till that point. I took pics of Andy signing
Minty's stuff. Then all of a sudden, we've arrived at *HIS* part of the
table. Higher brain function? A thing of the past. The ability to speak
in a slow and concise manner? Shyeah. Mint is all calm and cool as a cucumber.
I, on the other hand, went into *Squee* overload and my brain shut down.
He was shaking people's hands... apparently. I totally missed this little
factoid at the time. Did he reach for my hand? I have no clue. I was too
busy babbling. It kinda went like this....
"I have something for you to sign." I pull out the liner to the tumbler
and place it in front of him, totally avoiding the grabby lady who had been
passing all the photos to him. (hee!) He did make a kinda surprised "Huh,"
sound, like he'd never seen anything quite like it before. It was a photoshoped
collage - a big blown up pic of his face, faded and spotlighted with the
blue omni - on one side, a S2 promo shot of him in black, and on the other
side the lovely (and sexy) pic of him singing into the mic at 14Below -
you all know the one, the *huge* freakin' file, with him all sweaty in the
tan colored shirt. I kinda faded them all together and it makes a nice collage.
Maybe no one has ever brought him something like that before - which I can't
believe - or more likely, he just never saw anyone pull a picture of him
out of their coffee mug before. ANYway, I was totally demanding. "Could
you sign it right here?" I asked, fearful that he would scrawl his lovely
sig all across the face in the center. As he was signing, I'm still babbling.
"And I have something for you, too," I sez as I pull the other mug out that
had the Gutter Tee logo that Minty designed on it (in black and White -
alas, the color print out was too big to fit!) I hand it to him as he hands
back my now signed cup liner. (Yay!) Babble mode switches into high gear
as his face scrunches up as he begins to read it - and I'm guessing the
first thing that caught his eye must have been OT:Rant and FIC - followed
immediately by "Why does Buffy have a penis?" cuz his eyebrow was doing
this funny lifty thing. "It won't make any sense to you. It's a bunch of
random sayings from a writers group that I am on. And if you totally hate
it, that's okay, you can toss it and make your own. See, it's just like
mine," I blather as I gesture to my cup. "But I figured everyone can use
a coffee cup."
I got a smile. He nodded and growled "Oh yeah!" in that deep growlie voice
you get when you're half laughing and totally agreeing with someone - you
know what I mean. And then - then, I acted like a twit. Encouraged by his
response to the cup, I sez, "And I expect to see you drinking coffee out
if in Florida."
I think that was about the point that Minty steered me away. Which was good,
cuz the stoopid comment earned me a 'Look'. It seemed to have shades of
"Warning! Psycho Fan!" in it. Gah. I was all hyped up and tripping out and
trying to be funny and it Came.Out.Wrong.
Thank GOD he will have no memory of Seattle by the time Florida rolls around.
But it screws up what I wanted to give him in Florida - different cup inserts.
I'm going to have to come up with something else original and useful.
So there I am, walking down the hallway with Minty, grinning like a fool.
And shaking. You know something? I have a crush on him. Not a stalker thing.
Not a love thing. But I totally have a crush on him. I never knew. Holy
shit! I'm 35 freakin' years old! And I have a crush on a frickin' ACTOR
for heaven's sake! Whoda thunk?
Someone on the Gutter once said that she told her friends that she wanted
to straddle him, lick his cheekbones and chew on his lower lip. Honey, I
am right there with you. Good LORD, the man is hot. Every bit as hot as
he is on TV. Only better in person. *sigh*
Damn. He should come with a Surgeon General's warning sticker slapped to
his forehead. "Warning! Close contact with this man can reduce you to a
babbling idiot."
Had to go out for a smoke. Heh. It was that good. And then, standing outside
with Mint, we can see through the doors that James Leary is still signing
and greeting and being wonderful. I comment what a sweetheart he was. She
runs inside - and buys me an autographed pic of him. Awww! He's *such* a
honey! And Minty is a gem!
Finally, everyone got through the line. After posing for a group Gutterpic,
(which Evenstar isn't in, sadly - she had already headed home by then) Jodyorjen
and her LJ friend Claire, Fenchurche, me and Mint went out for Thai. Had
great fun, talked Buffy for just about the whole time. (Oh, like *that*
was such a surprise!) The evening finally wound down, and we all had to,
regretfully, head for home. Which for me meant the 10:30 bus back to Vancouver.
So I was talking to one of the Gutter gals on IM the day after the con,
and she said that she would like say to James is thank you - she's met and
gotten to know all these wonderful, like minded people. And I realized that
was what it was all about. I mean, I knew all along that the best part of
the con wasn't James Masters. Okay, it was the equally best part. The other
equally best part was hanging out with Minty. Eating pizza. Talking Bujold
and Weber and McAffery and Stirling and Fic and Buffy and life and stuff.
Walking the dog and sleeping in and hanging out and drinking Bloody Marys
and watching Bring It On and chatting with Chen. Meeting Jodyorjen and Fenchurche
And Evenstar again.
As fabulous as James is, I would not have come down to Seattle just for
him. And I'm not going to Florida just for him. I'm going to go to Florida
for the other Gutter Girls. That's what it's all about. But I would like
to say thank you to him - cuz otherwise I would not have met all these great
people. *sniff*
That's it. Hope it was worth the wait for those of you who've been asking
me for a report.
Shaddyr
***
"Winning isn't easy. And heroes bleed."
- James Marsters, Seattle '03
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