Richard
Richard I never know how to start a story when telling one, so I’ll just tell you what happened at school today. I went to school, had a triginometry test that I know I failed, went to detention, and came home. Doesn’t sound too positive, does it? I didn’t think so either. Well, my life’s not all that bad. It has its ups and downs, like everyone’s lives. Except mine just seems like hell because I’m the one living it. Oh, I forgot to tell you who I am. My name is Richard Young, and I am from LA. That’s Los Angeles, not Louisiana. I am a senior at Westley High, which I have been going to since freshman year. “Sound like a good start?” “I’d like to tell you that… sucked ass man!” Said Carlos, my best friend. Ah Carlos, Carlos, Carlos. He was always there for me. We used to pull pranks on teachers together in 9th and 10th grade, but you could say that.. we were turned around.. from one of our school counselors. Carlos, as you probably guessed by his name, is Spanish. He is 5’7 feet tall, and is of medium build, with dark brown, slightly wavy hair, which he flattened out on the top with hair gel. He doesn’t have a girl friend, though I think that girls find him attractive. They’re always giggling when they see him. Or maybe they think he’s a dork, and they’re laughing at him.. You never really can tell what a girl is thinking, or why a girl does what she does. You don’t know whether she’s happy or upset. They always try to hide their feelings from you, especially when you’re a guy. But then again, guys do that to girls too. But girls, even when you know they’re upset, and they know that you know that they are upset, they even still try to hide it, and- “Rich. Hey man..” “Huh? Oh, sorry man.” “That’s aight. Hey, what do you think of Lindsey?” “Lindsey Logan? That hott blonde babe in Economics class?” “Yeah.” “What do I think of her? Hell, if I could have her, I’d be the happiest man in LA.” Carlos kind of chuckled a bit as he sat down on a desk diagonal from me. “I’m thinking of asking her to the Halloween ball.” He said. I laughed out loud, I couldn’t help myself. “You are going to ask the sexiest girl in 12th grade out?” My laughing was just uncontrollable, I mean I didn’t want to be mean or anything but I couldn’t possibly imagine Carlos out with Lindsey. He’s such a dork! Or maybe girls like dorks. But not Lindsey, no way. She seems like the kinda girl that likes jocks and bad boys. It’s odd that I never see her with a guy. I guess she’s independent. Or maybe she has a boy friend from another school. But I’d bet you that she isn’t a virgin. “Hey, you got a problem with that?” He got off of the table and looked me in the eyes. This was all too funny. By the way, did I tell you that I was 6’2? But I was sitting down at the time, so he appeared to be taller than me. “Hey, don’t get uptight or anything. But just think. You with the sexiest girl in12th grade. You actually think that she’d go out with you? I mean she’s the type of girl who likes jocks. You’re on the Chess team for crying outloud. The Chess team. I mean not that that’s bad or anything, it’s just not exactly what Lindsey wants.” “How would you know what Lindesy wants?” I got up and started walking around the room, and let out a sigh. “Carlos, Carlos, Carlos. You don’t know women, do you,” I was shaking my head as I walked around. “I can see right through each and every one of them,” I was just saying a bunch of crap, pretending like I knew it all, like I always did. “And believe me, I know what Lindsey wants.” Carlos then came up to me, and asked, “Then what does she want?” “She wants someone who can live dangerously in life. Someone who’s not afraid to take risks, someone who-” I started to say. “And how would you know all of this?” “I told you. I can see through them.” “Then see through me. I don’t want you to discourage me about this, okay? I’m going to ask her. And I am going to take her to the dance.” I chuckled a bit, and said, “Alright, Carlos.. Whatever you say..” I didn’t think he liked that one bit, but he didn’t say anything much He left, and walked down the stairs. I wondered if he was going to ask Lindsey out or not. If I were him, I wouldn’t. I’d save myself from the humility. Well, sitting in a classroom by myself wasn’t exactly considered fun for me, so I walked out as well. Now as I said earlier, I’m 6’2, and I have brown hair, combed back. I use a bit of gel myself, but I don’t put gobs of it on like Carlos. Man, when he puts gel on, he just pours it onto his head. I’m not kidding. “Hey Dick!” Yes, that was my name as well. Doesn’t mean anything, it’s just the nickname for Richard. It was a girl’s voice. The voice belonged to a sophomore named Katie Shriner. I knew she liked me, but my God, she annoyed the hell out of me. She’d always come up to me and say, “Hey Dick!” And then giggle because she thought that it was funny. I slowly turned around, and said, “Hello Katie. And how are you today?” And you know what? I think she thinks I like her too just for talking to her. But I don’t want to be rude. “Oh, I’m fine!” She said with a big smile and a gleam in her eyes, and of course, followed by a little giggle. You know, I love a giggle from a girl just as much as any guy, but a giggle from Katie Shriner, I cannot stand! “That’s good.. Hey, I have to go. See you around.” I just wanted to get the hell away from her. I started to walk fast away from her, and she quickly followed. “When can I see you again?” What was she talking about? Seeing me again? “Um, around the lockers, bye.” I said as I continued to walk. “Okay, bye Dick!” She said with that same annoying little giggle of hers. She just killed me. She was about 5’5, with braces, glasses, and had her hair up in annoying pigtails that always moved around when she talked. And that really annoyed me. I can’t stand her pigtails! And she had such short blonde hair too. And yet she has to put it into little pigtails. She thinks it’s cute or something. Whenever she says “Hi,” Whoo! There goes those damn little pigtails. Shaking her head, it moves again! Damn, I really hated that. So I continued to walk down the long hallway to my locker, which was at the end of what seemed to be the long mile. I’d have to be in contact with everyone down the line of lockers. Exchanging glances, which I hate. Because then someone annoying might see me, and come running up to me. Hmm, sorta sounds like Katie. As I continued to walk, I saw Amanda. She was pretty cute. Wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, and she had a nice complexion. The only thing was, was that she was taken. So I couldn’t really talk to her. Her boy friend was over protective. Whenever I, or another guy even comes within a foot of her, he steps right in and starts a fight. “Hey, you messing with my girl?” Is what he usually says. I really do think she deserves better than that dumb possessive punk though. Someone who’s suave and sophisticated. Someone whose cool, but knows when to keep his coolness down. Someone who is one sexy fine son of a bitch! Which would be me of course, but then I wouldn’t think that anyone would want a son of a bitch, but hey, that’s okay. Oh, by the way, I was single, and a virgin too. Don’t think of me as a loser though. I’ve been in positions where I could have had sex if I wanted to… but I just didn’t choose to do it! I was once in my girl friend’s house, now my ex, and her parents were gone for the evening at a banquet of some sort, and we started making out on the sofa. She wanted to go upstairs to show me her room, so I followed her. I knew what was coming, and I was a bit scared. Now don’t think that I’m a wuss or anything just because I’m responsible. I just didn’t want to get her pregnant or anything. I didn’t have any condoms with me. Now when she took me upstairs, she went into her room and jumped on her bed and told me to sit by her. And then well, things got a bit out of hand, and the next thing I knew, she told me to get out of her house. I think she was offended because I didn’t want to have sex with her. For some reason, all girls think that all guys want to do is have sex, and if they don’t want to have sex with a particular girl, then they think the guy thinks that she is a fat ugly bitch. Well, that’s just wrong. We’re not primitive, savage beasts. Well, some of us are, but not all! We’re human beings! We have feelings, just that a lot of us can’t contol them, along with girls as well. Ah, my locker. I had reached my locker and opened it to get the books for my next two classes, English and chemistry. It was recess time. I picked up my two books that seemed to weigh a ton each when placing it in my book bag. My God, I’m getting weaker by the day. I then walked down the stairs to go to the cafeteria. Maybe I’d see Lyndsey. When I reached the foot of the stairs, I looked around for Lyndsey, no sign. Hmm, maybe Carlos scared her off when he asked her. “Hey Rich!” That sounded like Chris, also a senior. He reminded me of Carlos, except he wasn’t as chummy. He was pretty much secluded from the rest of the crowd, a lone wolf. He only talked to me when he needed help, or when he was desperately bored. He was 5’9, and had glasses, Chris Parker. “Hey Chris, how’s everything going?” I said to him. “Oh, Rich.. I was wondering if I could borrow your Asian History textbook for period 4.” What’d I say? Only talking to me when he needed help.. “Oh, sure. Meet me in the café during lunch at 12:15 okay? Don’t be late, or you won’t have the book. Deal?” I said with my hand out. “Deal.” He said taking my hand and shaking it. “Alright, bye Chris.” I said to him as I walked down to the cafeteria. I remembered when I was dating a girl named Rhonda. She and I would always walk to the cafeteria together holding hands. I really liked that. I put my arm on her shoulder often as well. It just made me proud to have her as my girl friend. I especially loved taking her down to my enemies and showing her off to them. That was fun. To see the looks on their faces was really a good one. They thought of me as a loser, but to see me with their “fantasy girl,” made them just die. Now we never really broke up, she just had to transfer to another school, that’s all. We’re email buddies. I wish that she would download ICQ or AIM or something so we could chat in real time, but she said that she couldn’t because of her hard drive or some crap like that. Ah well. I arrived at the cafeteria, which was, and as usual, crowded, and filled with highschoolers. Especially those annoying little freshmen. There were mostly freshmen because freshmen always come to our school in packs, and they were the most, those damn pests. Though when I was a freshman, I was pretty cool. But these freshmen have no respect whatsoever for their elders. Well what do they know? Those little pussy bitches. Okay now.. What to eat? I’ll just have a hot dog. Aw hell, that reminds me of Rhonda again. She used to get a hot dog, and I used to get a piece of fresh fruit, and we’d.. Well, I’ll just leave that up to your imagination. Okay nothing big, we just ate it in front of each other. There, ya happy? “Next please!” said the cafeteria worker. She was a fat ugly bitch, named Harriet. Well, with a name like that, of course she’d be a fat ugly bitch. I don’t blame her! If I was named that crappy name, I’d be a bitch too! “What do you want?” She asked in a bitchy tone. “Banana and jelly, please,” I said as I chuckled a bit. I then cleared my throat, and said, “One hot dog.” The bitch rolled her eyes, and grabbed me a dog, and passed it to me, while I passed her 75 cents. “Spank ya!” I said, as I turned around, and took a big bite out of my dog. I love tormenting the faculty and teachers, heh. I decided to sit down at the “senior’s table” in the cafeteria. Five people were there: Paul McMurphy, a computer nerd, he was pretty cool though; Phil Connor, he was the head of the football team, a real jerk off; Sandra Paterson, a pretty cute brunette, smart too; Carlos, and holy crap, Lindsey! “Lindsey!” I stated with surprise. “Hey Richard.” She said to me. Damn, it sure felt good when a cute girl said hi to me. But through the moment of slight happiness, my mind came back to me, and I realized what was going on, or what may have been going on. I looked at Carlos, and he gave me an “I told you so” smile. WHAT?! This could NOT be happening! That, that, that dork is going out with the hottest babe on campus?! And me, a, a, a, well, definitely not a dork, is single?! Now how can that be?! “Richard?” She asked. I quickly snapped back to reality, “Oh, I’m sorry Lyndsey. Yes?” “Are you feeling okay? You look a bit zoned out.” She said with a slight giggle. Man, what the hell was going on here? I strode quickly over to Carlos, and bent over to the other side of the table, and whispered, “Carlos.. we need to talk..” He looked at me in a suave way that I’ve never seen before, and said, “Ah, Richard, Richard, Richard,” What the hell was he doing?! “You don’t know how to handle girls, do you..” My God, he was acting like me! That little wise assed punk! I then turned to the others, and said, “May we be excused?” They all nodded, and I said to Carlos, “Come with me..” And so he did. After we were out of the cafeteria building, I pushed him into the men’s bathroom. “Okay, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I asked impatiently. Man, was I pissed off. “What? I told you I was going to ask her.” He said acting all innocent. Yeah right. “Look, Lyndsey would never go out with you because she just wanted to.” I said. Hmm, was that a bit too harsh? Perhaps it was. He looked at me like he never looked at me before, with hate in his eyes. He started to breathe heavily, and said, “Look, mister ego maniac! You think that you’re so hot, you’re the ‘coolest guy on campus.’ That everyone else around here is just dirt, and will never live up to your greatness. Well I’ve got a news flash for you. You are FUCKING wrong!” I was a bit shocked.. I’ve never seen Carlos act like that before. I guess I shouldn’t have said that other crap. “Hey, listen Carlos.. I-” “Don’t you, ‘hey listen Carlos’ me. I’m sick of listening to all of your nonsense crap, alright? Now I asked Lyndsey, and she said that she would love to go with me. Okay? And if you can’t handle that, then this friendship, or whatever this is, more like me being a slave to you.. is over. Okay? It’s over!” Jesus Christ, he was sounding like a mad man! I tried to settle him down, but I didn’t help much. “Carlos.. Maybe you just need a drink.. Here, drink some of the water from the bathroom sink. I’m sure there isn’t that much piss in it..” I said with a slight smile. Surely a joke would make him feel better.. “You don’t get it, do you? I do not want to hang around you anymore! It’s over! It’s not like I’m crazy or insane, but I want to hang with you. I am telling you what I hid back. What I always wanted to say. I hate being a puppet on your goddamn string!” Okay, guess not... “But Carlos.. We can work these.. things.. out.. Can’t we?” I asked, hoping he’d come back to his senses. “No man, it’s over.” He said, as he walked past me out the bathroom door. I just kinda stood there for awhile, trying to recollect myself. I let out an exasperated sigh and started walking around the bathroom, my speed getting faster as I walked around. “Damnit!” I said as I kicked down the trashcan in rage. I went to the mirror, and looked at myself. I started noticing these flaws in my face that I have never noticed before. Some zits on my forehead and chin. Not to mention my residing hairline. I looked down, and turned on the faucet. I cupped some of the cool water in my hands, and poured it onto my face. I looked at myself again, and suddenly, my entire life flashed before me. Well, my highschool life. From 9th grade, Carlos and I were best friends. And now, our senior year, we’re probably the worst of enemies. All because of some girl. Dammit! Problems always happen because of some goddamn girl! I went to the papertowel dispenser and grabbed some papertowels and wiped my face with it. I then walked out of the bathroom and decided to take a short walk around school. It was a sure good thing that Carlos didn’t have anymore classes with me. He only had trigonometry with me, which we already had today. Chapter 2. School seemed to go by as fast as a slug on a 40 ft. hill, but the school day had finally come to an end. I made it... through Monday... I had packed my bag with my Asian history text book which I got back from Chris after school, and my Algebra II text book. A light homework load, if I should say. I walked over to the bus stop in front of school and sat down, letting out an exasperated sigh. There was an old man sitting next to me on the bench at the bus stop. He had white hair, forming a ring around his shiny bare head. He was a plump fellow, round stomach.. Hell, he was Santa’s twin! Except for the beard part.. Oh, and then reindeer.. And the fact that he doesn’t live on the North Pole, and- Okay, he’s not at all like Santa Clause. But my God, he looked old and wrinkled. I thought about how I would one day look like that, or very similar to that. I began to think.. Teenagers all try to look their best to look good... The girls get make up, do their hair, get breast implants, do their nails, and get the best clothes. Guys work out, play sports, try to act cool, and get steroids. Okay, now what is all of this working towards? Why do all this work if we’re just going to end up a winkled old bag, like Mr. Santa by me? Hmm, maybe because we don’t want to look like a cheap fag who isn’t even close to being in the “in group.” Ah yes, the mindless zombies who follow trends made by other mindless zombies who want to fit in. I suppose even the smarter ones who want to fit in have to be a mindless zomby sometimes. Ah well. Well, the bus came, no. 9. Time to go to my noisy restless house once again. I walked in the bus showing the bus driver my pass, and sat down in the front. The ride wouldn’t be a long one, I lived fairly close to school. I looked around to see if anyone I knew was on the bus so I could perhaps talk to him or her.. No luck. You know, sometimes I find talking to myself more entertaining than I find talking to others.. Yeah I know it may sound a bit odd, but it’s true. I mean with most people, it’s like, “I know what I’m going to say next, so what’s so fun about talking to myself?” Well, I don’t know, but with me, I never know what I’m going to do next. I’m so unpredictable, I even surprise myself. I can have an entire conversation by myself for a whopping two hours. No, please don’t think I’m crazy or anything, I’m just... Well, I’d like to say that I’m.. Well, I suppose I’m.. Creative.. Or something or other like that. Hmm.. Or maybe I’m just easily amused. Ever have an imaginary friend when you were a kid? …Oh really? …Well, me neither…Haha, one would think that I would have a whole mess of ‘em with the imagination and creativity I’ve got, but I never had even one. Well, maybe I did, but I would call them more settings. Like at my house, I have a bar. When I was alone, I’d sit down, and talk to Charlie, my bartender.. He, of course, would be imaginary.. I suppose you would call him my imaginary friend, but I actually didn’t like him much.. He was always so rude to me. More like imaginary enemy.. Don’t worry, I don’t do any of that crap now.. Okay okay, I do it sometimes.. But only when I’m extremely bored.. I’d do it when I used to be pretty much an only child. But now I have a little sister. She’s 13 years old. When she was just a little kid, I’d do that imaginary crap, but now she’s constantly in my face.. Augh.. Little sisters.. Especially at 13, my God. She’s not all that bad though.. Once you get used to her. She actually became my substitute for my “imaginary friend” once she got older. She has the same imagination as me, basically. Hell, she’s my sister. Sometimes though, she can really be a nuisance. She does the more irritating things, I’m telling you. Things that she doesn’t want to do for herself, but she does them because she knows that that is what pisses me off. She’d pretend she was autistic when I wanted to get something out of her, and I know how she just loves to talk. And that really irritares me. However, she’s really the only person I can have a soul to soul talk to. I mean, my parents are too old to understand what I’m going through, and if I told my friends my problems or views, they’d think I was a nutcase. At least with my sister, she’ll always be stuck with me, and we can share views. She’s not that bad once you get to know her. Quite funny, actually. Sometimes, I get this weird feeling about her. This closeness that I don’t feel with anyone else. Maybe it’s the blood connection or something, but it’s cool. It really is. Chapter 3. After I had come home on the bus, I dashed to my room and belly-flopped on the bed; rolled over, and picked up my latest issue of “PC Gamers.” Yes, Paul McMurphy wasn’t the only one into computers. Hmm, “Online RPG EverQuest-$49.99" Sounds interesting.. I always have enjoyed RPGs.. I decided to get more information of this computer game online so I sat at my computer, and turned the old sucker on. I’d check to see if I had gotten an email from Rhonda. I hadn’t gotten one for more than two weeks now, and I was beginning to think that something had happened.. I tried not to get too excited about it, probably wasn’t anything big. Maybe she just had too many things on her mind, or was too involved with her school activities. Or maybe she moved, and her computer is being shipped to her, along with my emails. And then it struck me like lightening in a Kansas field. Rhonda had found someone. I’m not talking about finding any ol’ person, I’m talking about a guy. She has a boy friend! I guess that’s not too unreasonable.. I mean, the distance was too far.. Surely she’d have to move on.. But I’m not assuming anything yet.. It still could be the other possible reasons.. I stared at my computer monitor as the Windows background came up. I clicked on the “e” icon, representing Microsoft Internet Explorer, my web browser. Finally, my AIM(AOL Instant Messenger) popped up. I love AIM, it’s my window to the world, basically; the internet being the house. Ah, Paul’s on.. As usual.. I received an IM from him. His screen name was Shadow Conqueror, while mine was.. Cheesewiz39. ShadowConqueror: Hey bud Cheesewiz39: Hey ShadowConqueror: I heard you and Carlos ain’t kickin it together anymore. I sat back in my chair, and considered what Paul had just said to me. We’re not “kicking it together” anymore.. Well, I guess that’s true.. Hey, how did he know? Cheesewiz39: Yeah.. How did you know? ShadowConqueror: Man, everyone knows. Cheesewiz39: What?? How? Who? ShadowConqueror: Well, for one.. I was there at the table in the cafeteria today, and saw you were pissed off at Carlos. When he came back, he told us about how you were being an asshole, he didn’t say why though. Asshole? What kind of word is that?! Damn, he’s a fag. Cheesewiz39: Okay, I forgot about that... We had a little fight over Lindsey, and I said some shit I didn’t mean, and he got pissed off. ShadowConqueror: Ah... Ok. Cheesewiz39: Are Carlos and Lindsey actually going out?? ShadowConqueror: Well, Carlos asked Lindsey to go to the Halloween dance, and she said yes... Cheesewiz39: Okay, now THAT I do not understand. Why the hell does LINDSEY want to go out with CARLOS??? ShadowConqueror: I don’t know, don’t ask me. Maybe she likes him... Maybe she wants to make her boy friend jealous...I really don’t know. Yes! That had to be it. Making her boy friend jealous! Okay, she has a fight with her boy friend who’s probably either a jock, or a 20 year old college student with muscles and a tan. And now this “stud” sees his girl friend with some loser, and thinks “How the fuck can she do that?!” Beats the guy up, and then goes back to his beloved Lindsey. That’s got to be it. Cheesewiz39: Hmm.. Well, that’s an interesting thought.. Well Paul, I need to check my email. Bye ShadowConqueror: Bye man, and good luck Cheesewiz39: thanks Well, that was interesting. Lindsey is using Carlos for her own pleasure in letting her real boy friend suffer. This is good. This is very good. I feel like I have to tell Carlos the truth, but then again, I already tried to, and he bitched at me. So, I’ll just sit back and see what happens. I went to hotmail.com to check my email, hoping to get some real mail, and not just those crappy forwards I’m always getting. Okay, forward, forward, forward, advertisement, forward, newsletter, forward, forward, damn. Not a single letter. Delete! Well that was a waste of time. I had hoped that Rhonda would mail me, which she hadn’t. Carlos, my ex-friend hates me. I am single, and I think I’m getting a big mess of zits on my goddamned chin. How’s life going for me? Fine, just fine, couldn’t get any damn better, mmhmm. I got up from my whirling desk chair, and picked up my PC magazine, and remembered the reason why I went online in the first place: To find information on Ever Quest. But I was tired, and a bit hungry. I opened my door, and walked down the stairs, while letting my hand slide down the railing. Right when I finish my short stairwell journey, I see my little sis, standing in front of the refrigerator getting a bite to eat. “Beat it shrimp” I say, as I push her to the side. She looks at me, both hands at hips, and says, “Hey man, I was here first.” “Well, you were taking too long.” I say, as I reach in for a can of cold Cola, pop the top, and take a gulp. “Okay, whatever. Want me to pop that can up yo ass?” said my sister in a fake New York accent. “Cut the crap, and beat it.” “Fine, geez, bye.” said my sister, as she stormed off. Heh, that was easy. I walk to the living room with my coke, and there’s my sister, once again. “Hey brother dear, how nice of you to stop by my throne room.” My God, she can be a little kid sometimes. Well, might as well play along. “Yes, and I am the big fierce monster that shall eat you and your townspeople up! Muahaha!” I raised my arms, and made my hands like claws. My sister giggled and said, “Rich, you’re such a fag.” “Dammit Nicole, I was playing along.” “Whatever, fag.” she said, as she moved over on the sofa. I sat down by her, and grabbed the remote control, which was sitting innocently on the end table. The tv was set to the Comedy Channel, I flipped to the tv guide. “Rich! Give that to me!” Nicole whined. I raised my hand up with the remote control, and stood up. “Ha, no way a shrimp like you could get the remote now. I am ‘King of the Remote!’ Muahaha!” It was quite amusing to see her jump up and down to get the object at steak out of my possession. “Oh fine, I guess I’ll have to do it the hard way.” she said, as she went up to the tv, sat down, and flipped channels on the television set. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked, putting my arm back down into normal position. She didn’t say a word. On the remote, I clicked on the Power button to turn the tv off. Damn, didn’t work. She was blocking the tv so I couldn’t use the remote. “Okay.. Play time’s over.. Big brother wants to watch WWF now.. Move it..” I said as I slowly advanced towards her. Still no word. “He’s going to pick you up, and throw you into your room..” Silence still.. “Giving you to the count of ten..” Dammit, she didn’t move. I bent down and waved my hand in front of her blank face. “Hello? Earth to Nicole? This is Captain Richard speaking, we have a mental retard on our case, by the name of Nicole Young. I repeat, Nicole Young, mental retard-” I could see that a smile was starting to form on her expressionless face. She turned to me, and gave me a girl’s sucker punch in the stomach. Felt like nothing but a tickle. “Ha ha, the brave and immortal champ, Richard wins again!” I said as I left Nicole to her tv. I was tired of messing around with sis; I didn’t have to watch WWF anyway. Chapter 4. The next day at school was probably what you might call a hailstorm in Carlos and my relationship as being ol’ chums, if you could call it that. Let’s see, English and chemistry books, along with my homework. Check. I walked from my locker to homeroom, which I shared with guess who, Carlos. I was hoping that he wouldn’t be there yet; Call me a coward, but I don’t like confrontations. I walked up to the door with a window centered in it, and peered in. Good, no Carlos, thank God. I opened the door and entered, found my seat, and sat down. It was 7:53am, and homeroom didn’t start until eight. I looked to the left of me to see my friend Joe sitting by me, reading a book. He was a real bookworm, that Joe. The strange thing was, was that he got terrible grades in school. One would think that Joe would use his reading skills in school as well, but in his case, that was completely out of the question. “Hey Joe, whatcha readin?” I asked as I turned to him. He slowly turned back to me and said with great sarcasm, “Can’t you see that I am trying to read? You know that I hate to be disturbed! If you want to know that badly, just look at the damn book cover and you’ll see the title!” He yanked the book from his left hand to his right and held it in front of my face, waving it violently. “See?” He said as he let out an exasperated sigh, and got back to reading. What a damn bitch. So much for trying to strike up a convo with a “friend.” I turned to the other side to find an empty chair with a desk with nothing on it but some pen markings. Yes, you guessed it, Carlos’ seat. You probably must think that Carlos and I are really close, and I have one thing to say about that…you’re right. It’s just that we were always there for each other, and in this situation, I really don’t see why he’s making a big deal out of this whole mess. If he were a girl, I’d say it was PMS, but he’s not one. Something had to have happened to make him feel this way. He was never this upset about anything. When he comes to homeroom, I’m going to have to have a talk with him. Just then, the door opens and Carlos comes in. Here goes nothing. “Hey Carlos buddy. What’s up man?” No response. He walks over to his desk and sits down, while putting his backpack on the floor. “Carlos?” I ask, hoping for a response of some sort. Still no response. Okay. He’s giving me the silent treatment. Lovely, just lovely. If he wants to play hardball, I’m game. “So Carlos…I just love it when you don’t say anything to me.. It makes me feel really horny..” I then start to make moaning noises. “Will you just shut up already?!” Heh, I knew that would get to him. “Carlos.. Something bothering you?” I ask out of desperation, but in a cool, calm manner, of course. “You know Richard, sometimes you can be a real asshole.” Carlos said in a stern voice, and then turned away with a headshake in dismay. You know, the way Carlos acts is very feminine. Well, lately anyway.. He never used to be quite.. well, sensitive. Sure, he had his little moments of fits and forensic tantrums, but that’s it. “Look-Carlos. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to hurt you, but enough is enough! Quit the whole gay fag act and just act normal!” “The whole gay fag act?” Carlos shook his head once again, “Lyndsey and I are going out whether you like it or not. I don’t care if you have a problem with that.” “Good. I don’t care if you don’t care if I have a problem with that either. … That’s just fine and dandy with me.” I reply, “Just stop this whole act, okay? Look I’m just trying to look out for you man. I want what’s best for you, as a friend.” “Oh yeah? If you wanted what’s best for me as a friend, then you’d be happy for me that I’m going out with Lyndsey, instead of being jealous.” Carlos replied with a kind of pompous attitude. How dare he! How dare he accuse me of being jealous of him! Here I am trying to apologize to the guy and he comes out and lays the big one on me, which just squishes every last ounce of niceness out of my body. “Okay-fine. I tried to apologize to you, but that didn’t work. Just fuck it.” I say to him as I turn around. God damn fucking bitch. I don’t know why I was ever his fucking friend anyway. What a damn loser. He’s going to be crawling back to me on his hands and knees after he finds out that Lyndsey played him… Oh boy, is she going to play him..Right under his big ol’ nose, too. And since he’s too stupid to notice, he probably won’t find out until she’s pregnant with her side lover, Raeul from that French Boutique on the corner of Main. Or perhaps the head honcho captain of the college football team, Nick the no brainer. Whoever the culprit, she’ll be with him, instead of Carlos. For all I know, she could be with another goddamned girl. Whatever-I don’t care. I’m just waiting for the satisfaction that will come to me when Carlos comes back to me crying, heh. Homeroom passed, as well as all of my classes. Now lunch, and after this, one more class to go. It’s been such an unimaginably boring day. Everything was so redundant and meaningless. I wasn’t quite myself, and my mind wasn’t fully together. Half of it was off in outer space, while the other half was off fighting some damn dragon in a medieval nightmare. I kind of drifted off into the cafeteria to get a tray full of crap the school calls food. I advance towards the Go line, but I don’t collect $200.00, and low and behold, I see Lindsey and Carlos holding hands and giggling.. Well, Lindsey is giggling, and Carlos is more like, guffawing. It was a pretty sick picture. To be honest, it made me want to puke. When they passed me, I looked down, and started to turn around, but to my surprise, Carlos pushed me into the wall! That was completely out of character for Carlos. Something was seriously wrong with him. I was just about to ask him what the hell was wrong, but I decided that it was wise to just let him deal with his “problem.” I got my lunch and sat down with a few of my friends. Now about my friends.. I wouldn’t quite say that they were the most mature people in the world; but- “Hey Dick head!” said Ryan. “Yo Rye. Sup.” I replied to Ryan as he and I exchanged our knuckle handshake, and sat down. Alan was talking to some of the guys about something. I didn’t really care, but I decided to listen anyway. “And she says to me, ‘I’d rather do my hair instead of go out with you tonight!’ Alright, now what the hell is up with women and washing their hair?” I figured I might as well join in the conversation, and asked, “Ever watch one of those Herbal Essence commercials?” “Yeah.” “Where the woman taking a shower, strokes her hair with her beautiful hands and long slender fingers?” “Yeah...” “Making those sensual moans that triggers a man’s passion to arise?” I heard some of the guys chuckle at my comical nonsense. “Well, that, my friends is an orgasm-Something that you probably couldn’t give her. And this is your answer to why she would rather do her hair then go out with you.” I said in a know-it-all fashion. Everyone on the table except for Alan was cracking up at my sick perversion. “Okay Richard-That wasn’t funny.” Said Alan in a voice that sounded half serious, half jokingly. I could tell he was trying to keep his laughter inside-barely. After lunch, I went to my lockers once again, to pack. Unfortunately, I had a little obstacle. “Dick! Hey Dickie!” Oh God-Not her again. “Dickie! Wait up!” Katie Shriner, the world’s biggest blonde dork. No wait-let me rephrase that. The universe’s biggest dork-period. I turn around to see her squinting eyes, mouth full of metal, and three heavy honors and AP books in her hands. I’d offer to hold her books for her, but she’s so clumsy that she might end up dropping them on me or something. I was definitely not in the mood for her crap. “Bitch! Hey Bitchy! Bitchy! Wait up!” I mocked in a ditsy girl voice to her, turned around, and walked away. She just kind of stood there, dumfounded, wondering what happened. Dumb bitch. I was definitely fed up-with everything. My grades weren’t too hot either. I hadn’t been getting the appropriate amount of sleep a growing boy should get, and well..Here I go with the Carlos problem. But my life does not revolve around Carlos! Although one may think I’m kind of obsessing over the whole problem. But that’s because he is-he was, my best friend. But as I reiterate, was. Until, of course, Lindsey dumps him, that is. I’m just waiting for that day. But until then, ignore, ignore, ignore. Chapter 5. Two weeks had passed. Tonight was the ball. It might seem pretty strange, but me and my egotistical mind didn’t think that-At first, anyway. I signed up for senior prom and paid for myself and Ms. Mystery date. However, I had not found anyone to go with. What a bloody mess I was in. God damn it. I always do shit like this. I had to find someone to go with. I walked along the hallways of Westley High in search of the beautiful and lucky maiden who shall have my arm for hers to rest upon as we enter the Halloween Ball together. Ha-That was a load of shit. I’ll just look for someone desperate enough to go with me. And I know what you’re thinking, and all I have to say about that is NO! NO! And NO! I am definitely NOT going to go with Katie! You can gag me, tie me up, gouge out my eyes, cut off my tongue, WHATEVER, but you are NOT making me go with Katie! ..Oh God I’m talking to myself again. You’re going to think I’m pathetic, but it all comes back to Carlos. I’d talk to him about everything, and ever since I stopped talking to him, I’ve been talking to myself- often to the point of an argument. I’m going crazy. I seriously am. I went to see the school counselor, don’t ask why. I shouldn’t have, but I did anyway for some crazy reason. “Come in.” Said Mrs. Robinson, “Now. What Can I do for you?” She said with a forced smile, while clasping her hands together. God, I hate it when people do that. People are so fake it’s sickening. Everyone always tries to do what they think the other person or people want, or expect of them. No one can ever actually be themselves. But then again, those who do act like themselves are either complete bitches or assholes. Sigh, never mind then. “Hi.. I’m in a bit of a predicament.” “Oh? What exactly seems to be the problem?” She asked. I knew she really didn’t care, and that she would rather be eating that delectable little sandwich that’s nicely placed by her right elbow instead of talking to me. But I guess she figured it was her job to do this kind of stuff and that it was the “right thing to do.” “Well I… got into a fight with my friend and…the only reason was because of some girl…And I just wanted to…Well, you know…I was trying to help the poor guy… He thinks that this girl likes him when she’s just playing him and my friend cannot understand and he thinks I’m jealous of him whenever I try to explain this to him.” “Well, think about the situation. What if you were in your friend’s place? Wouldn’t you be upset if your best friend came up to you and told you that your girl friend was just playing you for a fool?” Oh God. Here goes the theoretical shit. I knew I shouldn’t have come here. “Oh yeah, um.. You know what? You are exactly right. Thank you so much for your help. Good bye!” I said as I got up and headed toward the door. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked. “Yeah yeah, bye.” I said as I opened the door and left. Well that was a complete waste of time. “Dickie!” Oh shit. It was Katie again… And this time she has company. It was the dork squad. Katie and two of her little friends wearing knit sweater shirts in light blue and pink colors came up to me. “Dick, I told my friends about what you said to me, and they think that you were being mean to me! But I think that you were just saying that as a joke. So which one was it? Cuz my friends really wanna know.” Oh GOD why am I being faced with this?? I really don’t care what a little 15-year-old thinks about me, let alone Katie Shriner and her little nerdy friends. “Look, Katie… I… I’m just under a lot of stress right now okay? You and your little friends can go off and play, but I’ve got to do some serious thinking.” “But Dickie!” “God, shut up already and leave me alone!” I said as I walked away. Okay, don’t think I’m cold and heartless, but these people were really bothering me! I really had to find a date to the ball, and I had no one in mind… God, I swear… if I end up taking Katie, I will kill myself. But to tell you the truth, it was becoming an option on my desperate list. But first, I would have to ask all of the eligible bachelorettes if they would go with me. I walked down a line of lockers, looking at the girls at their lockers… Sheren Wickers, tall stalky brunette who couldn’t keep her mouth shut…Sheila Paterson, pretty black chick, short, but very bitchy… You know there wasn’t anyone I could really find, but… “Hey Richard.” I turned around to see a gorgeous brunette standing in front of me. “..Hey… Who are you?” I asked. “I’m Emmy. I just wanted to know if-“ “I’d love to.” I quickly replied. Shit, I didn’t mean to say it like that, and I doubt she was even asking what I wanted to hear, but oh well. “…You would?” She asked. “I mean… Complete your sentence, please.” I said. “Well… I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me quote you on something for the school newspaper.” Ahhh she was a writer! Well I suppose that’s not too bad… She was hott, and that’s all that mattered. “Of course, what would you like me to quote about?” I asked in a suave way, as I walked over to a bench that was sitting next to a wall, and motioned her to sit down, as I did so. “Well, how do you feel about school uniforms?” Oh boy, I didn’t know if this girl was one of those conservative goody two shoes girls or not, and I wanted to make a good impression. I figured I’d just ask her what she thought first. “How do you feel about uniforms?” I asked. She giggled a bit and replied, “The interview is for you, not me.” Damn. She was good…Real good… Well, here goes nothing. “I don’t think schools should have uniforms… I think they… confine us from our freedom… And that they act as a prison for… defining ourselves through out clothing!” Phew, that was a close one. “Wow, that’s very good. Your last name is…Young, right?” “Yes, how did you know?” “I work for the newspaper, we have to know everything.” She replied with a slight chuckle. “Now what was that you were saying you’d love to, before?” She asked. Oh boy. Well here’s my one and only chance.
