Jason stared at Stephen, somewhat floored. Not so much by what he said, but the truth that permeated those words. His mouth opened as if he had something to say, and closed equally as quick, the words needing more time to be thought out. He began to trace the patterns on the carpet with one toe, eyes focused intently on the exercise. Kristina hadn't just thought of him as a friend, she had liked him. From what Stephen said, a lot. And now, the more that he thought about it, the more it began to make sense. Events, little things, once the pattern had been pointed out, he could see it all. Unfortunately, it was a few years too late.

*He's right…* Jason sighed inwardly, sinking deeper into his seat. Admitting it however, didn't make him feel any better. With a second louder sigh, Jason looked up at Stephen. "You're right. I wouldn't have asked her. I never even noticed her." He ran his hands through his hair.

"We're talking about Kristina here. Quiet, unimposing…like her goal was to always blend with her surroundings. When have I ever gone for a girl like that?" the question seemed to be an attempt to justify his actions, but instead make Jason's stomach turn more than anything else.

"Okay, and when did I start admitting things like that?" he sighed again. "I've always chased the pretty girls, it's my nature."

"Never had to feel bad about that before really Jase?" Stephen asked quietly, not wanting to make Jason feel worse, while at the same time feeling for Kristina. The friend in the middle, always an awkward position to assume.

"This isn't doing great things for my conscience…" Jason admitted quietly, finally looking over at Stephen. The look on the other man's face didn't exactly portray sympathy.

"Maybe it's one of those things that shouldn't." Stephen shrugged a little. "How could you seriously not have known? Sure, she was shy about it…but if you would have been looking, you would have seen."

"I know Stephen, I know, okay?" Jason replied, his words short. "But I can't change the past, I don't have that talent."

"Maybe not, but if she's back in town now, maybe you can make it up to her. Be her friend Jason, see where it goes. Or is she still not up to your standards?" the words came out of Stephen's mouth slightly harsher than he had intended. Jason shook his head, looking down at the ground.

"It not that Stephen, not at all. But I think I ruined any chance I would have ever had with Kristina a long time ago. Trust me, I doubt she even wants to see my face anymore, let alone have to interact with me. It's over. I just have to move on."

"You mean give up." Stephen interjected. "Anything gets a little too hard, and you have to give up on it. Isn't that what she tried to make you stop doing? Some things are worth fighting for Jason. I think that's what you need to realize. Or maybe you just need to decide whether Kristina is something you want to fight for. After everything she did as your friend, I would hope she would be worth at least that much of your time." Jason stared at Stephen for several moments before replying. He was normally so soft-spoken, and here he was doing a great job at chewing him out.

"So you know then…that's why you're so mad…she told you about Raina…" Jason replied slowly, trying to work things through in his mind.

"Know what about Raina, Jason? Kristina doesn't tell me anything, I haven't talked to her since about midway through her first year. The last time that she came back to St. Louis, that was the last time she talked to any of us…" Stephen paused, finally catching Raina's name.

"Shit! Jason…you didn't. You and Raina…that was midway through your first year…what did you do?" Jason closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, before slowly brushing his hair out of his face, facing Stephen once again.

"It's a long story…"

***

"I wasn't good enough for him, that's what it comes down to…" Kristina choked out through heavy sniffles. "I thought things would be different here, and they're still exactly the same as high school!"

"Kris…Kris, calm down. Please, it's not you, I promise. If he couldn't see what he was giving up, that's his problem. It's *not* you."

"You're required to say that, you're my friend…" she replied, taking a deep breath. "That fact remains that I didn't have anyone in high school, and the first guy I find here went and cheated on me after two months. Am I that bad Jason, am I really that horrible?"

Jason sighed inwardly, shaking his head at the phone. "No Kris, you are not that horrible. He's horrible for doing that to you. If I had the money, I'd hop a plane tomorrow and come kick his ass for you. I've been bulking up, I might actually be able to do it now…"

A laugh escaped from Kris' throat, seemingly in spite of herself. "I don't think that would help Jase, but thanks for the offer." She sighed a little. "I don't need you to come down here…but I am coming into town. Can you pick me up maybe?"

Jason's face lit up as he nodded. "Not only can I pick you up, but I'm going to take you out, make you laugh, and make you forget all about that jackass. What time does your flight come in? I'll be there waiting."

"8:30…so I can count on it? Seeing you tomorrow, I mean?" Jason nodded, before he realized she couldn't see the action.

"Yeah, for sure, you can count on it Kris. I'm sorry this happened babe, but I'll show you that you're not horrible, but you're really great. I promise it."

***

"So what happened then?" Stephen asked curiously, leaning forward slightly. "Something had to have happened. Kristina only came home once from school, at least that I know of. Was this that time?" Jason nodded, head still bowed towards the carpet.

"Did something bad happen?" Jason nodded his head again.

"You could say that, yes. I made a pretty big mistake…one that I don't think she's ever forgiven me for. What am I saying? I know she hasn't…it's obvious."

"What happened then?"

"Raina. Raina happened."

***
To PART FIVE

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