The Storyteller speaks:

And so that’s how Cat and I got our hands on the Hind’s Blood, and the plans for the surprise attack on Haven. It wasn’t until we were halfway back that I showed Cat the goblets, which she handled reverently, saying that we would use them at our bonding ceremony. For a few hours, at least, I forgot about the vengeful deity and insane warlord who were plotting our deaths, my mind focused solely on my future with the dark beauty at my side. But then the dawn came and we were on the road again, racing to beat Callisto’s troops to Haven.

The missive Cat had taken from the courier provided a small ray of hope. Inside the pouch were orders for the 4th Border Scouts to proceed toward Garrison, openly, making no secret of plans to attack that town. After three days of slow march they were to turn and proceed to Haven at best speed, to reinforce the two heavy infantry companies stationed east and west of the village. The document clearly detailed plans for the attack on Haven, including date and time, and included instructions for the Scouts to move in as soon as Cat arrived.

We spent many hours debating whether the intercepted orders were real, or were a decoy sent by Callisto on the hopes that Cat would get her hands on them. In the end, we decided that the planned attack on Haven had to be real, an obvious attempt to get Cat to agree to a one-on-one fight with Callisto.

Near-continuous thunderstorms filled the week preceding the planned attack, much to the dismay of Callisto’s troops. Huddled together in their wet cloaks, they rarely ventured away from their roadblocks, making it easy for elite warriors from the Amazons and Commitatus to sneak into Haven without notice. The day before the attack the storms finally ended. Cat met with the townspeople, cautioning them to stay out of harm’s way once the fighting began. We knew the crazed warlord would try to take Cat down herself, and Ares would probably let her, unless it looked like she was losing. But we had a secret weapon. And I don’t mean the Hind’s Blood. We had the most powerful weapon ever known to mankind….

The truth.

“Xeenaa! Oh, Xeeenaaa!” Callisto’s childish sing-song carried throughout the center of town. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

Moira and her team of five Amazon warriors jumped slightly when the blonde warlord just materialized in the center of the street, but remained silent. Ice had made sure everyone knew that Callisto’s favorite mode of transportation was Air Ares, and that the god of war was likely to be watching, ready to interfere. The Amazon commander gestured, and her five archers silently nocked the arrows Angie had given them, after dipping the heads in Hind’s Blood. Moira knew that, on the other side of the street, Ceejay and another team of archers were doing the same. The Commitatus would be waiting until Cat appeared on the street before leaving to take out the two companies of soldiers outside of town.

“Xeeenaaa! Don’t you want to come out and play?” Callisto began hurling firebolts, laughing maniacally as people ran screaming from burning buildings. “Ahh, just like home. Come on, Xena! Just like old times! Only this time I’m doing the burning and killing, and you get to watch helpless people die!” More buildings began to burn as Callisto vented her frustration, never noticing the figure that stepped out of a building behind her. “Xeeeenaaaaa!!”

“My name is Cat.” Callisto spun around to face her dark-haired nemesis. “And if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather talk.”

“Talk?” The blonde warlord laughed. “I thought you did the fighting, and the irritating blonde did the talking.” Callisto made a show of looking around. “Where is the little bitch, anyway?”

“Right here.” Angie stepped out from another building, staff in hand. “And my name is Angie, not ‘the little bitch’.”

“So, what, is tall, dark and deadly going to bore me with talking and then I fight you?” Callisto laughed again. “That’s a switch!”

“Actually, we’re both going to talk.” Cat took a few steps towards Callisto, stopping when the blonde started gathering more fire energy in her hand. “Your name is Barbara, right?”

Callisto stood in stunned silence upon hearing the name she had almost forgotten.

“Barbara Evans, from Boston, right?” Cat took another step toward the warlord.

“NO!” The energy dissipated as Callisto clenched her fist. “My name is Callisto! And you’re Xena and she’s Gabrielle and I’m going to kill both of you!”

Cat easily dodged the first uncontrolled swings of Callisto’s sword, backing up and continuing to talk.

“You’re Barbara Evans, and when you were twelve years old . . .” Cat quickly drew her sword to parry the next series of attacks, trusting in Angie’s ability to take over the talking.

“When you were twelve years old you watched your family die, caught in a shootout between two gangs.” Angie stepped forward, drawing the blonde’s attention. “Two gangs that were being manipulated by Ares.”

Callisto froze.

“That’s right, Ares.” Angie moved closer to Cat. “He led them to that intersection, even took control of one of them to make sure your family died.”

“Just like he did at Cirra.” Cat added softly. “I may have led my army there, but it was Ares himself that made sure your family died.”

“Noooooo!” Callisto’s wail of anguish carried throughout the town, reaching even the ears of the victorious Commitatus. “Lies! All lies! Ares, where are you?”

“It’s true, Barbara,” Angie said softly. “I’m sorry, but it is true. Ares destroyed your family, offered you power and immortality, so you would do the one thing he can’t.”

“If Ares could do everything you said, he can do anything.” Callisto’s head and sword lowered briefly, then snapped up. “There is nothing Ares cannot do! And once I destroy you, Xena, that power will be mine!”

“If you kill me, then Ares will kill you. He’ll have to.” Cat remained calm, despite the truth she was about to reveal. “The Furies will drive him mad if he doesn’t avenge the death of his daughter.”

Two blondes stared at the warrior in shocked disbelief.

“Noooo!” Callisto launched into a berserk attack against Cat, trying desperately to silence the truth she was hearing. The dark warrior pushed Angie out of the way, then went on the defensive, parrying every mad slash of the warlord’s sword. Thirty seconds seemed like thirty minutes as Callisto and Cat’s swords moved faster than mortal eyes could follow, before the two women each stepped back.

“Aaareees!” Callisto yelled at the heavens. “Where are you?”

“Bravo, Xena.” The God of War stepped out from one of the burning buildings, quietly clapping his hands. “I never expected you to figure it out. So, are you ready to take your place at my side?”

“What?!” Callisto turned on her mentor. “No, she’s lying, isn’t she? She’s not really your daughter?”

Ares threw back his head and laughed.

“Tell her, father.” Cat moved quickly behind the amused god, pulling a dagger from her belt and holding it to his throat. “Hind’s Blood, Ares. You remember what that does, right? So tell her the truth.”

“Yes, Ares, tell me the truth.” Callisto dropped her sword and stepped forward, fire energy sparking and gathering in both hands.

“Alright, alright.” Ares raised his hands in surrender. “Everything Xena said is true. Sorry, kid.”

“You lied to me! You swore you weren’t her father!!” Callisto’s eyes filled with tears of rage. “You lied to me about everything! Everything! I . . .” The young warlord fell silent, as possible other truths occurred to her. When she spoke again, her voice was soft and confused. “You lied about everything. Am I even who you say I am? Am I really Callisto?”

“You’re Callisto just as much as I’m Gabrielle, and Cat is Xena.” Angie realized she was actually feeling pity for the warlord. “That’s who you were, but it doesn’t have to be who you are.”

“Move the dagger, Xena.” Ares turned his head slightly to look at Cat. “You’re not going to use it, not on your own father. The Furies would have a field day with you. Not to mention the rest of the family. We can’t kill each other, it’s against the rules.”

“Funny, that never stopped you before.” Cat grinned evilly. “Now, stand still or you might accidentally nick yourself. The family would understand about an accident, wouldn’t they?”

Suddenly Ares saw his future, or what was left of it. An accidental cut would be fatal if any of the Hind’s Blood got into him. If he tried to teleport away, she’d have the chance to nick him. If he moved he was dead. There was only one thing to do. Slowly, cautiously, he turned his head back around and closed his eyes.

“Master! Aid your loyal servant!”

Thunder shook the ground as the sky darkened and turned red as flame. Fiery storm clouds massed ominously over the town as a smile came to Ares’ face. Cat looked up, seeking as enemy in the firestorm above, and Ares saw his opening. Careful not to tense his body and give his captor warning of his intent, he focused his will and POP! disappeared from her grasp, materializing a few feet behind the warrior. A swift kick sent the poisoned dagger flying, and the god of war readied himself for victory.

“FOOL!” A loud voice issued forth from the churning clouds. “YOU LET YOURSELF BE DEFEATED BY HER . . . AGAIN!”

“But, Master, see! Without that dagger she’s as good as defeated!” Ares closed cautiously on the raven-haired warrior, forcing her away from the dagger. “Today Xena, tomorrow the Amazons . . . within a month the entire East coast will be ours!”

“FOOL I SAID AND FOOL YOU ARE! YOUR SECURITY WAS BREACHED, YOUR DISPATCHES INTERCEPTED, YOUR TROOPS ALREADY DEFEATED BY THE AMAZONS AND THEIR ALLIES. DO NOT CALL UPON ME AGAIN!”

A deafening thunderclap shook the buildings as a fiery burst of light filled the sky. Then the fire and the clouds were gone, leaving the noon sun shining brightly overhead.

“Looks like you’re on your own, Ares.” Cat circled the god of war, her sword cutting figure-eights in the air.

“I never needed any help to defeat you, Xena.” Ares smiled maliciously. “I taught you everything you know, but not . . . .”

“But not everything you know, right?” Cat chuckled. “You may have been able to defeat Xena, but you keep forgetting one thing.”

“And what’s that”

“I’m not Xena.”

Cat launched her attack, driving the war god back several steps before he recovered. The battle danced up and down the street, in and out of buildings, thru roofs and window. Blurring swords, flying kicks, throws and blocks, the god of war and the warrior princess fought as they had never fought before. Bones cracked, tissue ruptured, vision blurred, and still they fought on. And finally, after ten minutes that seemed like ten lifetimes, a still form came flying out of a burning building, followed by a limping figure covered in soot, sweat, and blood. A figure with raven-black hair, brilliant sapphire eyes, carrying a bloody katana in one hand.

Angie burst out of her hiding place between two building and ran to her partner. Heedless of the dirt, the blood, or the warrior’s probably broken ribs, she threw her arms around Cat, crying in relief. The katana hit the ground with a muffled thud as Cat wrapped her own aching arms around the storyteller.

“Is he dead?”

Cat and Angie turned their heads to look at Callisto, standing between them and the still form of Ares.

“No, just knocked out.” Cat picked up her sword and started walking toward the now-visible Amazons.

“He should be dead.” The blonde’s voice was cold and flat. “He deserves to die for what he did.”

“Maybe so. But I can’t kill him.” Cat accepted a clean rag from Ceejay. “It’s one of the few rule the gods play by. And I am his daughter.”

“So you can’t kill him. But I can.”

Too late Cat and Angie noticed the dagger in the blonde warlord’s hand—the dagger coated with Hind’s Blood. Before they could reach her, Callisto knelt next to Ares and calmly slit his throat. Then she stood and turned, dropping the dagger, and looked at the stunned crowd.

“I don’t think I want to be Callisto anymore.”

Angie was the first to act, moving cautiously to the young woman who was obviously in shock, and putting a supporting arm around her shoulders. Slowly she escorted the woman who had been Callisto into one of the few intact buildings, leading her to a chair and getting her a cup of water. Cat and some of the Amazons followed, keeping the townspeople back as best they could.

“What do I do now?” the young woman asked Angie.

“Well, what do you want to do?” the storyteller countered.

“I think I want to go back to Boston.” The blonde’s voice grew stronger as she spoke. “There’s a decent system in place there, it just needs a few changes. And once I find someone to take over, maybe I could travel, and help people.”

“That’s quite a turn-around.” Cat came to stand behind Angie.

“My whole life was built on hate, and anger, and grief. I hated the world for taking my family away. But it was Ares that killed them, and Ares that showed me how to focus all that darkness. Now I have to make up for it all.” Tears silently slipped from her eyes. “I just don’t know if I can.”

“Of course you can.” Angie knelt next to the repentant warlord and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “And we’ll help, won’t we?” she asked her partner.

“We’ll help,” the warrior agreed. “But you have to tell us one thing first.”

“What?”

“What should we call you?”

”Call me Barbie.”

The Storyteller speaks:

And so that’s how Ares, god of war, met his end . . . how the evil warlord Callisto was destroyed, and the heroic Barbie Evans was reborn . . . and how the evil entity Dahok once again had his plans foiled by the spirit of the Warrior Princess. Of course, he had other plans, other allies, but that’s another story. And now it’s time for this storyteller to go to bed.

And so the Storyteller concluded her tale. Of course, there were questions that had to be answered. She told us that the fourth member of their party was Barbie’s husband, Michael, who in a prior life was called Autolycus (but that’s another story). She told us how she and Cat and Barbie had met Hercules and Iolaus (but that’s another story). And she told us how Ares came to be Xena’s father. But that’s another story.