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It's never such a beautiful stink

You hear the cattle and the horses shit
Hell, I don't want to live and smell bad things baby
There's better ways to clean out muck

I'm sorry but it just smells like poo

I've found a half eaten ham sandwhich and a shoe

If you were born into a pile of dung god help you

You'll always stink of crap my friend

So i said......

So whats up now?

Use a JCB

and everyone can clean out muck so easy

Yes thats right
like Bob the builder does

But everybody cleans out muck

and we blame the Welsh

I'm sorry but it just isn't fun

Too right, I hate myself for smelling of dung
You see, cos shovling up horse shit is far to messy

There's better ways to clean up muck

I'll find you something more sensible to do

Than sit around around in 6ft of poo

You see cos poo and we, ain't nothing but pure dirt baby
There's better ways to clean out muck

Don't make it hard now
Because there's a JCB

so i'm sad
yes your right
stuff myslef
all the time

but u suck
like a pie
see myself
eating rice

and you know
when you lust
for a scon
thats enoguh

but if it helps
carry on
eat some more
its not wrong

oh i know..

u make me want to eat quiche
and i wanna eat a mars
im losing my mind
my fringe looks so sparse

its a beautitful flan
with the oven on high
but i wanna eat quiche
coz i hate chicken pie

im so sorry
little quiche
no ones here
so i'll eat you

wiht brown sauce
which i despise
but better
than a pie

and you know
when your just
puking up
thats enough

if it helps
carry on
eat some more
its not wrong

so how does it feel
to eat crappy
saveloy

choke on crappy
saveloy
oh and i wanna eat QUICHE

THE QUICHE CREW proudly present "Right Trout" (aka Lights Out)

On the third stroke the time will be 2.24 precisely

After it was dead, it weighed 10 tonnes

It ate a h-e-n!

The trout came splashing round my net and

I just reeled him in……

I know it’s the best catch of my life

Well, that’s except a shoe!!

When I lifted that trout

The Thames was in drought

Fish cause too much strife

I think I’ll go catch bears

Is that the bell? I hear Ring ding ding ding

Who could it be?

They want to buy my trout off me, no!

Go home T-e-s-c-o

I said it’s the best catch of my life

well, that was so damn true

but now the Thames is in drought

it means no boat race in town

so for once in my life

I think I’ll hide under them stairs!