"Reno has a girlfriend! Reno has a girlfriend!" Elena taunted, romping circles around him.
"Stop it, Elena!"
The female Turk just giggled.
"Hey!" Reno snapped. "Just be glad I don't have a boy friend."
Elena stopped her prancing and clung to her husband's side. Tseng remained stoic, refusing to show interest in her teenage behavior.
"Some girlfriend, Reno," said Tseng. "It seems all you and Yuffie ever do is fight all the time."
Reno shrugged. "I don't know. It seems like it's all part of it. Either that, or she's just distracting me so she can steal my materia. Luckily, most of it I have is hidden inside my weapon where she can't see it to know it's there."
"Some girlfriend, Reno…" said Elena.
"Cut it out. First you're teasing me, now you're mocking me." Reno turned away from the other Turks. "Well, now, don't mind if I go back into town to see her."
Reno returned to the center of Wutai to call on his new friend at her house. Yuffie ran out the door to greet him, instantly wrapping her arms around him and refusing to let go.
"Yuffie, do you have to cling to me everywhere I go?"
"Yes! I love you, Reno."
"Yeah, well, what if I fell off a cliff?"
Yuffie giggled and held him tighter. "Why? Are you planning to?"
Reno shrugged. "I could use the time off."
Yuffie clung to his right arm, holding it tight and resting her head against his shoulder. "Don't worry. I won't let you anywhere near a cliff. Come on! Let's go to Turtle's Paradise!"
Reno kept his feet anchored to the ground despite her tugging his arm. "Aw, no! Not after you humiliated me there the last time."
"Come on! Isn't it your favorite bar in the world? Let's go."
Reno's feet had to give up to her incessant nagging, and he found himself being dragged to the pub.
Tseng and Elena were already there, but Reno didn't notice them admist having his hands full with a clingy, obnoxious Yuffie. Once he saw the rate at which she consumed drinks, he slowed himself down so to stay sober in preparation for her lunacy.
"Okay, Yuffie. I think you've had enough," he finally tried to restrain her as she went to the bar counter one more time. She turned on him and grabbed hold in a way she was able to easily fling him over the bar and to the other side. "Damn you, woman!" Reno picked himself up and came back at her.
Yuffie just giggled girlishly, and at the same time was able to continue her Reno-butt-kicking marathon. He couldn't get near her without becoming a victim of her spontaneous martial arts demonstration, which stole the attention of all the other bar patrons.
"Desist, Yuffie, or I'm going to leave."
"Fine. Then leave!" Yuffie took him into a headlock and ran him out the door then threw him over a bridge into the water. Behind them came a number of curious bar patrons.
"Ah, her antics always steal my customers," the bartender said to himself.
Yuffie was still giggling as Reno emerged from the crystal blue river. He climbed up and back onto the low footbridge, his soaking wet Turks uniform weighing him down. "You little brat!" he lunged at her neck, but even in her drunken state, she was able to seemingly effortlessly hurl him back over the side and into the river again.
Reno lacked energy equivalent to hers. Weary and finally aware of the small gathering of entertained on-lookers, Reno climbed back up.
"If you really loved me, you'd come to your senses and stop beating on me."
Reno took a step back as the intoxicated girl came towards him again. He ducked, mentally preparing to be thrown into the water again, but it never came. He looked up and found Tseng battling with her.
"Huh? Tseng?! Get off her and mind your own business."
"No way, Reno!" Tseng restrained the skinny girl even as she squirmed. He released her suddenly. "Hey! She stole my materia!" He ran after her as fast as he could. Reno and Elena followed, but Reno wasn't up to running in his water-saturated uniform.
Yuffie went into her house and slammed the door. Tseng simply broke the wooden door down and chased her into the basement. He stopped short as he found a cage had dropped down over him.
"Give me my materia back!" he yelled and reached out at her like an enraged zoo animal.
"What's so important about it?" Yuffie taunted him by waving the crystal orb just out of his reach.
"It's my Anti-Charm Plus Materia! It counter-effects Elena's stupid Charm Plus Materia that she uses on me."
"I heard that!" said Elena. "Let me at him, Yuffie! I want to kick his ass!"
Yuffie's misjudgment made her raise the cage, forgetting how easily Tseng could escape. He pounced on her and wrenched the pink materia crystal out of her hand.
"You brat!! Don't you know who you're messing with!?" he growled. "Oow!! Elena!?"
"Ha, ha!" she booted him in the butt a few times, the entire scene greatly amusing Reno, who'd recently entered.
Tseng tackled Yuffie and used her as a shield to ward off Elena. Lord Godo did not approve.
"It's for things like this that we kicked you out of town in the first place!" Godo grabbed Tseng by the back of his neck. "That's my daughter you're messing with!"
"Reno!" Tseng seemed to beg as the larger man dragged him off. "Tell him what Yuffie did to me! Tell him how drunk she is…"
Yuffie returned to Reno's side and cuddled into him. He put an arm around her waist and bent down to kiss her. "What do you think Godo's gonna do to Tseng?" he asked.
"Oh…nothing much. Probably just publicly flog him and expel him from town again."
"Oh. Is that all? Should we attend?"
"We've got a little time to play with… I'm sure we can find something else to do in the meantime…" she batted her eyes at him.
"But…your house is kind of open to the public thanks to Tseng. We aren't putting on a show of our own."
"Don't worry about other people… They're already staking out their seats in the center of town for the coming attraction. No one'll bother us…"
On the up side, Reno thought to himself. He'd finally be able to get out of his wet clothes.
THE END