- T.U.R.K.S.
(The song "Bad Boys" is playing)
The scene opens with the Tiny Bronco being shot down, moves to show Reno and Rude chasing a
criminal, then shows Reno sleeping in the floor of a bar and Rude trying to wake him
up, then we see Elena slapping Reno for getting drunk and then the screen goes black and the the white letters T.U.R.K.S. appear on the screen.
Announcer: "Turks...itīs filmed on location, with the members of the
Turks. All suspects are guilty, otherwise they wouldnīt be suspects would they?"
At Cosmo Canyon
10:00 AM
Reno: "Well, today we have a ransom. It seems the grandson of one of Cosmo
Canyon's most respected citizens was kidnapped. The Canyon was closed as soon as
possible and nobody has entered or leaved.
(We see Elena talking with Bugenhagen)
Elena: "When was the last time you saw your grandson?"
Bugenhagen: "This morning. He said he was going to see his father Seto, but he
hasn't returned."
Rude: "Have you seen anything suspicious?"
Bugen: "Well, this morning a girl and a boy with a strange looking cat entered the
canyon. Could they be the ones after it?"
Reno: "You bet."
- Reno was dragging Jesse, James and Meowth (from Pokemon) to where Bugenhagen was.
James: "Hey, let us go. We havenīt done anything."
Reno:Are you telling me you didnīt kidnapped the grandson of Bugenhagen?"
Jesse: "Of course not. We just came here because we wanted a rare
Pokemon."
-
- Meowth: "Yes, he was a red lion-thing who could talk."
Bugen: "Thatīs Nanaki! Where is he?"
Jesse: "Itīs in here."
James threw a Pokeball to the ground and Red appeared.
Red: "What happened?"
Bugen: "Nanaki youīre safe."
Reno:"Well, that solves the case."
Rude:"Letīs go to the bar."
Reno:"Good idea."
Elena:"Sigh.Sorry to disappoint you guys,but we have a call."
Elena takes out a radio,and the voice of Rufus could be heard.
Rufus:"Bring your lazy butts here right now! We have a situation here at
Midgar."
- Elena:"Whatīs the situation?"
- Rufus:"It seems Tifa and Aeris are having another fight about who Cloud likes."
- Reno:"Damn! Hope it doesnīt ends like the last one."
- Rude:"But it was pretty amazing when the Shinra building collapsed."
- Rufus:"Enough talking! Come here inmediately."
- After three hours of travel they arrive at Midgar.What they see leaves them in shock.Buildings in flames,many people injured in the streets, cars crashing and in the center of it,Tifa and Aeris.
- Tifa:"Give it up you &$#/! Cloud is mine."
- Aeris:"No!Heīs mine,you /!$@."
- Reno:"Well,any ideas on how to stop it without any of us dying?"
- Rude raised his hand.
- Elena:"He said without anyone of us dying,Rude."
- Rude lowered his hand.
- Reno:Damn! Itīs all Cloudīs fault! Only if he could decide who he likes more.
- Elena:That guyīs so clueless he wouldnīt even find water if he was a fish.
- Rude:Still,maybe he can stop them.
- Reno:AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! My head is
hurting. I must have an idea. Cīmon guys.
- Announcer: T.U.R.K.S. will be back
shortly. Meanwhile, a little announcement from one of our sponsors.
- Barret:Hi fooīs.Ma nameīs Barret Wallace and Iīm here today to offer ya all a product thatīll change yer lives.The new English-Ebonics,Ebonics-English dictionary.More than 480 pages full of da meanings of various ebonics words.So you better buy it īcause if you donīt Iīll make ya sorry fooī.
- (End of the commercial)
- Tifa and Aeris are still fighting,and it seems thereīs no hope,until a black car appears from nowhere and stops near of them.Reno gets out with a speaker.
Reno:Alright!!! Listen to me ladies,you better stop this nonsense inmediately,before someone is hurt.
A trash can smacks Reno in the face and knocks him.
- Elena (grabbing the speaker):Hear me,girls.We have here someone you know.
- Rude takes Cloud out of the car,he is tied up and with the mouth covered with a sock.
- Cloud:MMPPHHH!!!MMMMPPPPHHH!!!
- Reno:What did he say?
- Rude:I think he said:"Take this sock out of my mouth".
- Reno takes the sock out of Cloudīs mouth.Tifa and Aeris stop fighting as they realize Cloud is there.
- Tifa:Cloud!! Are you alright? I swear you is all this %)$% fault.
- Aeris You were the one who started all of this you &(#$%.
- Elena:Alright,stop this! Cloudīs going to tell you who he likes.
- Tifa and Aeris:REALLY!!!??
- Reno (getting up):Cīmon Cloud,tell them and stop this nonsense.
- Cloud:Aaahh...well...I...donīt know.
- Elena:There must be someone you like more than the other.
- Reno (taking out his gun):Damn! Iīm going to kill one of them,so tell me who do you like more.
- Rude:Reno,donīt!
- Reno:If he canīt decide I will decide by him! Iīll kill one of them and the problem will be solved.
- Tifa:Cloud I love you! Tell him to kill Aeris! She deserves to die!
- Aeris:Cloud donīt! I love you! Tell him to kill that #$/%.
- Reno:Quickly! Who do you like?
- Cloud:Tifa! Yes,I like Tifa more than Aeris!
- Reno lowers his gun,Tifa runs to hug Cloud,who is still untied.Aeris starts to cry and then punches the Shinra building.It starts to tremble and finally collapses.
- Rufus:AAAHHHH!!!! Not again!!
- Aeris:Ups! Sorry!
- Reno:Well,another happy ending.It really makes me think we really do a difference in the world.
- Rude:Yeah.Letīs celebrate.To the bar!!!
- Elena:Sigh! You guys will never change.
- Reno,Rude and Elena walk down the
street, as the sun sets behind them. Then the credits start to roll.
The Turks:
Reno as Himself
Rude as Himself
Elena as Herself
Team Rocket:
Jesse as herself
James as herself
Meowth as himself
Other persons:
Bugenhagen as himself
Red XIII as himself
Tifa Lockhart as herself
Aeris Gainsborough as herself
Cloud Strife as The guy with the sock in the mouth.
