“Damn,
it’s getting hot.”
“Tell
me about it, Cid. I’ve been here since last night. At least in the evening,
it’s cooler.”
“Compared
to my air-conditioned office, this place is the Sahara.”
“Have
you really been to the Sahara, Rufus?”
“Cloud…”
“Vincent,
did you stash away some food down here? Cos I’m damn starving.”
Vincent
shook his head sadly at Elena, and then turned to Rufus. “As I recalled, you
said something about a five million gil water bill.”
Rufus
gritted his teeth, unpleasantly reminded of the matter.
“Why
is the water so expensive?” Vincent inquired.
“You
see, my dear friend,” Rufus answered. “Wutai Water Company has declared a
rise in the cost of clean water. It’s currently at a thousand gil per gallon,
and now, I have to pay the price of your f$#%& carelessness!”
Vincent
was unfazed, though, because he was thinking of something else. “You still
didn’t answer my question.”
“Well,
Wutai Water Company has announced that the water is completely mako-free and
100% safe from any kind of bacteria, making it potable at the same time. But all
these purifying processes cost a lot, so they’re skyrocketing the prices, too.
Any more questions, Mr. Valentine?”
Vincent
thought for a while, and then said, “One more. How come you’re alive? I
thought you died at the mercy of Diamond Weapon.”
Reno
burst out laughing from the other side of the room.
“Don’t
you dare, Reno…” Rufus warned through gritted teeth.
“He
fell down the stairs before the missile hit the office,” Reno blurted out,
ignoring Rufus’ threat. “He had stepped backward in fear when he saw the
missile, and it just so happened that the stairs were right behind him. Isn’t
it coincidental?!”
“He
broke most of his bones, though,” Elena added. “But they were repairable.”
“Ha
ha, that’s funny,” Cloud remarked. “He escaped alive because he fell down
the stairs.”
Rufus
merely seethed in silence.
Noticing
that his g-string was slipping off again, Vincent stood up and adjusted it.
Rufus
watched him with contempt. “Pathetic…” he sneered as he shrugged off his
white trenchcoat, revealing a sinewy, lithe torso in a tight black sleeveless
turtleneck sweater. He then tossed the overcoat to Vincent.
“Uh…thanks,
Rufus,” Vincent said.
“I
didn’t give it to you so you can cover that repulsive body of yours,” Rufus
corrected in a clipped tone. “I wanted to take it off anyway, because it’s
hot, and since you were so pitifully inconvenienced by your unfortunate mishap
while you were in the tub, I decided to lend it to you, poor helpless soul that
you are.”
“I
disagree, Rufus,” Elena piped up. “I don’t think Vincent has that hideous
a body.”
“Whatever,
Elena. I always knew you were a good judge of naked men, having seen so numerous
in your lifetime.”
Elena
made a face at the haughty executive.
“Hey,
Rufus, nice idea,” Reno declared as he stood up and began to unbutton his
trousers.
Elena’s
eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you want me to judge your body!”
“Hell
no!” Reno answered, taking off his pants. “I meant that his idea of taking
off his clothes because it’s so hot is a nice one. Here ya go, Vince.”
Vincent
caught Reno’s dark blue pants. “Uh…thanks,” he said, unsure of how to
reply.
“Briefs!”
Cid burst out as he caught sight of Reno. “You sissy boy! Real men wear
boxers!”
“In
case you don’t know,” Rufus interrupted. “I designed those
underwear. I guess this means we won’t be friends.”
Cid
chuckled even more. “Ha! Only a sissy would wear a fag’s panties.”
Rufus’
face practically cracked, his pride bleeding. He got up from where he was and
gripped Cid’s throat tightly, cutting off the pilot’s air supply. “For
your information, you f%$#& mudmouthed bastard…” he seethed, glaring at
Cid. “I…AM NOT…A FAG!!!” He strangled Cid even harder.
Everyone
jumped to their feet and struggled to pry Rufus off the bluish pilot.
Fortunately, they managed to do so before Cid fell unconscious.
“Can
everyone please stop fighting?” Cloud pleaded.
“Tell
that walking sewage system to keep his lid on,” Rufus denigrated.
Cid
shot him a lethal glare.
“Vincent
Valentine? Are you present in the vicinity?”
The
courteous masculine voice managed to call an armistice over the bickering duo as
everyone glanced up hopefully.
“Vincent?”
“We’re
down here!!!” Vincent called as everyone trooped out of the coffin room.
The
person had a strange gait as he headed towards the hole, and it took a few
seconds for everyone to realize that the canine head gazing down at them
wasn’t human at all.
“Goodness!
How diametrically superior this chasm is!” Red XIII declared.
“He
means this hole is huge,” Vincent murmured to Reno.
“Duh!
I’m not stupid!” Reno insisted.
Cloud
waved a hand at Red XIII. “Hiya, Nanaki! Whatcha here for?”
“Well,
I dropped by because Vincent informed me that he had some amanita muscaria lying
around.”
“Say
#@@^& what?” Cid interjected.
“Fly
agaric,” Vincent answered. “It’s a kind of mushroom that kills flies. Chop
it into pieces and put it into milk, and you get an effectively lethal fly
repellant.”
“Yes,
what Vincent said,” Red XIII told them. “My room in Cosmo Canyon has been
plagued by flies for so long that I fear my tail might unhinge from swishing
them away. So, Vincent my friend, tell me where I may acquire the mushrooms so I
can be on my way and bother you no more.”
“Whoa,
Nanaki,” Cid exclaimed. “Aren’t you gonna @!#%$^ rescue us?”
“With
my inhuman paws? I cannot very well grip a rope with it, but I believe that it
would be most effective if I rush to Cosmo Canyon and inform the Elder of this.
Perhaps he can call a council meeting and discuss the most efficient means
of-“
“Now,
I ain’t got no time for that namby-pamby $#!^!” Cid interrupted angrily.
“I just want to get out of here before I @#%^# starve to death!!!”
“In
the name of Rufus J. Shinra, multi-gillionaire owner of Neo-Shinra Electric
Power Company, I demand that you cease this nonsense at once and rescue us!”
Nanaki
blinked at Rufus, as if seeing some sort of apparition. “Rufus? You’re still
alive? Anyway, back to more pressing matters, wait here while I- Oh my,
there’s some scrumptious-looking lepiota procera thriving on this side
of the wall…Perhaps I can reach out and grab some before I head off…” He
bent down and extended a paw down the edge.
Vincent’s
eyes widened, sensing impending misfortune. “Don’t do that, Nanaki!” he
cried, rushing forward.
“Don’t
you @#@^&$ do that, you @#^*^% son of a ^*&(&$!!!”
Everyone
halted in their tracks and stared in bewilderment at the hot-tempered,
caffeine-deprived, nicotine-devoid pilot who would dare insult a comrade in the
vilest manner.
Unfortunately,
Red XIII was paying them no heed as he reached for that precious patch of
mushroom, and in doing so, slipped his footing and tumbled down the opening,
landing in Vincent’s arms.
“You
have my resolute gratitude, Vincent Valentine,” Red XIII gasped with relief.
This
time, no one bothered to sigh with disappointment, since rescuers falling down
the hole was becoming mundane.
“It
seems that we are incarcerated in this location for quite some time,” Red XIII
remarked. “Have you exhausted all means of escape?”
The
look they all gave him could have withered a tree.
“I
see…” Nanaki said. “Then show me your temporary living quarters so I may
rest from running all the way from Cosmo Canyon.”
As
soon as they entered the coffin room, Red XIII’s eyes widened with excitement.
“How fortunate we are! There’s hundreds of russula vesca thriving
here!”
Everyone
looked at him strangely, apparently wondering why it would be so fortunate for
them.
“Don’t
you understand?” Red XIII said elatedly, bounding towards the walls. “These
are black mushrooms! They’re edible! Now we won’t have to starve to
death!”
Everyone
else was torn between the urges to throttle Nanaki and to swipe the mushrooms
from the walls and eat them raw. They chose to do the latter, though.
They
all fanned out to different directions of the walls, gathering the mushrooms and
wolfing them down hungrily. All was fine until a couple of minutes later.
“CLOUD!
WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU EATING???!!!”
All
eyes turned to Cloud, who was in the process of shoving more mushrooms in his
mouth. “What?” he asked, several pieces of mushroom falling from his stuffed
jaws.
Nanaki
stared at him in horror. “Those aren’t russula vesca! Those are dull
brown, not black with white stands!”
Cloud
swallowed everything in his mouth before asking, “So?”
Red
XIII looked as if he was proclaiming a death sentence, which he really was.
“Those are amanita phalloides! Deathcaps! One of the most poisonous
mushrooms ever to grow on the Planet! They’re lethal! They can kill a human in
moments!”
The
walls of the room rang with Nanaki’s words.
After
several minutes of waiting (waiting for Cloud to keel over dead, probably),
Rufus piped up, “He’s still standing.”
“Obviously,
those $#!&*%& mako treatments made this kid invincible,” Cid added.
Cloud
apparently agreed with Cid, for he shrugged and resumed eating those dreaded
deathcaps. Everyone made it a point, though, to skitter away from Cloud’s
location.
Later
that afternoon, they lounged around the coffin room sated from the mushroom
broth they had cooked earlier with Nanaki’s tail flame.
In
contrast to Reno’s earlier statement about being cool at night, the
temperature seemed to rise with the approaching evening, and soon, everyone
started to discard miscellaneous pieces of clothing.
“I
swear this night is strangely warm,” Reno, who was wearing nothing save for
his briefs, declared. “The gods must be making fun of us. Hell, they must be
laughing at us!”
Cid,
clad only in his manly boxers, was too busy cursing the aforementioned
gods as to why Nibelheim had to be near the equator and not farther away,
like in Rocket Town.
“Hmph!
They must be taking revenge against us for constantly abusing our summoning
privileges,” Rufus added. He apparently was too haughty for his own good,
since he was still dressed in his sweater and slacks.
“I
don’t think it’s the gods who are toying with us,” Nanaki, who had no
clothes to begin with, argued. “I believe that this is due to Murphy’s Law.
If anything can go wrong, it will.”
“You
mean if this whole mansion can collapse all of a sudden, it will?” Cloud,
bare-chested, asked.
“Please
don’t say that out loud, Cloud. It might happen,” Vincent murmured. In
contrast to the other men, he was all the more clothed. He was now donned in
Cloud’s sleeveless sweater, Rufus’ trenchcoat, Reno’s pants and loafers.
He even had Cid’s ascot tied around his forehead like a bandana. It was
apparent that he direly missed his usual multi-layered getup.
Elena,
meanwhile, was sitting by herself in the other side of the room, uncomfortable
in the presence of so many scantily clad guys. True, she had worked with lots of
men in Shinra before, but not when they were loose and informal like these ones
were.
Also,
she was sweating, and she truly wished she could get rid of this long-sleeved
dress shirt and these thick dark blue slacks. She had even went as far as
unbuttoning the top part of her shirt and rolling the sleeves up to the
shoulders, but it was still soooooo hot…
“So,
Elena…what do you think?”
Elena
blinked at Reno, who seemed to be addressing her. “Huh? What?”
“You
were the only person who didn’t violently oppose my group nude painting
proposition,” he grinned. “Are you up for it?”
“Hell
no!” she declared.
“Darn…”
“I’m
going to take a bath,” Elena suddenly announced, getting up from where she was
sitting.
Reno
blinked in astonishment at her. “Right now?”
“Why
not? There’s a shower just outside,” Elena said, strolling towards the door.
“But
the monsters…and the YinYangs,” Reno stammered.
“Why,
Reno. I didn’t know you were so worried about me.”
Reno
blushed. “It’s not that…It’s just that someone has to protect you from
them…Someone like me.”
Elena
leaned closer to him, placing a hand on his cheek. “Oh really, Reno…” she
whispered coyly. “Would you really do that for me?”
“Uh-huh…”
“Or
are you just making some excuse so you can see me naked?!” Elena suddenly
raised her voice. “PERVERT!” She slapped Reno across the cheeks and stormed
out of the room.
“Does
she do that to you often?” Cloud asked.
Reno
flushed with humiliation. “No!” From across the room, he heard a soft
chuckle. “What?!” he demanded, glaring at Vincent.
“Nothing,” Vincent replied. “For a moment, I thought that you wanted to paint her too…”
________________________
Still
seething, Elena stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower, gun in
hand for precautionary measures. She hoped that none of the boys would have the nerve
to exit the room. So what if she cared about her personal hygiene? Let those
heathen swine rot in their stench and filth.
As
Elena closed her eyes and relished the cool water splashing against her, she
thought about Tseng. For once in her life, she had considered suicide after she
had heard about his death. Why bother spending the rest of your life in
loneliness, she had thought, when you can be with him for all eternity?
But
as she had learned in her Turks’ training, suicide is the ultimate surrender.
For to yield to death was the worst failure of all, and it would be utterly
damning on your soul.
Instead,
she had carried on with her job donning her Turk mask, as if nothing had
happened. Except something had happened. She had just lost a part of her soul.
Even
her succeeding lovers were unable to fill the void in her heart. There would
never be another Tseng, not in her lifetime. So why go on with her aimless
wandering?
“Gawd,
Vincent! Don’t you ever clean up this place?!”
The
whiny feminine voice slashed through her thoughts like a katana blade. Elena
glanced up, tensing. Did she really hear that voice or was she imagining it?
“Yo,
Vincent! Ya here?”
A
rescuer! Elena thought excitedly as she turned to fetch her clothing.
At
that moment, the coffin door burst open, and all the guys stampeded out, then
screeched to a halt at the sight of her. A simultaneous eep, and all the heads
whipped to another direction, except for Reno’s, which lingered for a while
before Vincent forced it the other way.
Grateful
at having been spared her chastity and pride, Elena hastily dressed and called
out, “We’re down here!”
There
was a rhythmic skipping up above them, and a ninja girl’s head popped out.
“Oi! What are you all doing down there?!”
A
simultaneous groan emanated from the guys.
Elena
couldn’t see why Yuffie was that unappealing to them, but at least there was
another female for a companion. “Uh…we’re trapped. Could you help us
out?”
Yuffie
cocked her head and thought for a while. “Why should I?”
That
single sentence instantly made Elena dislike her.
“Cut
the crap, Yuffie, and get us the @#^& out of here!” Cid demanded.
“Cid!”
Yuffie squealed happily. “I knew you were here in Nibelheim. I saw the
Highwind parked outside. So…how about if I go and steal it?”
“Don’t
you f@#$&*% dare, Kisaragi!!!” Cid threatened, his Venus Gospel waved at
her.
“What
would you do to me if I did, Highwind?” Yuffie countered teasingly. “Curse
me to death?” She razzed at the enraged pilot, who looked like he was about to
detonate. “And besides, why are you barely dressed? You know you’re a
beerbellied flabby old man compared to Reno and Cloud.” She eyed both youths
appreciatively.
“I’M
NOT F%$@^&* OLD!!!” Cid exploded. “I’M ONLY THIRTY-TWO!!!”
“Yeah,
whatever, Captain,” Yuffie drawled. “Now hand me some materia, and I might
think of getting you all out.”
“But,
Yuffie,” Nanaki put in. “As I recall, we all gave our materia to
you.”
“Materia
is already declared illegal in our part of the continent,” Rufus said
matter-of-factly.
“I
have some materia!” Cloud volunteered.
All
eyes turned to him. “You do?!” came the unanimous query.
“Yup!”
Cloud beamed, fiddling with his bangle and sword. “Here’s an Underwater
materia, an HP=MP materia, a Speed Plus materia, a Steal materia, a Mime
materia…”
“Cloud…”
Vincent interrupted. “Why do you have Mime materia equipped? You’re
the only character in your party.”
“I
dunno,” Cloud shrugged. “I just liked the yellow color, cause it matches my
hair. Oh, here’s an All materia, too.”
“What’s
it paired with?” Elena asked excitedly.
“Huh?”
Cloud gazed blankly at her. “Nothing. It’s just by itself.”
There
was a concurrent slapping of foreheads.
“There
you have it,” Yuffie said. “Seems that you’ll be staying here for a couple
more days…”
“Wait
a $#!#^& minute!” Cid protested vehemently. “You asked for materia.
We’ve got it!”
“Only
the useless ones that our ‘Great Leader’ managed to put on this morning,”
Yuffie mocked.
“You
can take the Steal materia! Or the Speed Plus!” Reno shouted.
Yuffie
rolled her eyes. “Like, I don’t have enough Steal materias? Give me a break,
I’m much faster than Cloud. I don’t need no crappy Speed Plus. So I guess
that’s, like, it. I’m getting out of this hellhole.” She stood up and
started to leave.
“Wait,”
Vincent’s calm, level voice stopped her in her tracks.
Yuffie
returned to her position. “What, Vinny? Got something for me?”
“I
have…” Vincent seemed quite hesitant to continue, but considering the
desperate situation before him, he doubted if anyone could even rescue
them before they rotted down here. “I have a mastered Knights of the Round.”
Yuffie’s
eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “You do??? Where? Where?”
“I
won’t tell you until you get us all out,” Vincent compromised.
“Hmph!
How would I know you’re gonna give it to me?” Yuffie asked.
“And
how the #@$^ would we know you’re gonna get us out if we did?” Cid
added angrily.
“You
can take my word for it, Yuffie,” Vincent said in a serious, meaningful tone.
“To cheat you would be another damning sin. You can trust me.”
Yuffie
thought for a while. “All right, all right,” she announced, fetching a
thick, long rope from her pack. “But you better have it ready for me once
you’re all up here!”
There were various reactions among the group. Vincent smiled slightly; Elena started hugging everyone; Reno hugged and kissed everyone; Rufus said nothing; Cloud re-equipped all his materia; Nanaki stooped to chasing his tail in delight; and Cid began twirling his spear around, causing everyone to drop to the ground.
________________________
“Where’s
Rufus?” Reeve inquired his secretary the moment he arrived at his office from
a business appointment in Junon. “I noticed that he didn’t come stomping in,
demanding me to tell him the results of the proposal.”
“He
left the building at one o’clock in the afternoon and hasn’t returned
since,” the secretary answered. “Seemed that he was in one of his fits. I
almost pressed the Code 22 Security Button.” She smiled.
Reeve
grinned too. The Code 22 Security Button was depressed only when Rufus Shinra
exploded in one of his renowned temper tantrums. When it was, all the employees
were advised to evacuate the Shinra building; otherwise, they would feel the
wrath of Rufus’ “limit break”.
“Why
didn’t you?” Reeve asked curiously.
“Well,
it turns out the object of his vehemence wasn’t in the building. And that was
when he departed, leaving us all relieved that we wouldn’t have to abandon our
work that afternoon.”
“What
sparked it?” Reeve queried.
“I’m
not sure. But I was unfortunate enough to pass by his office at that moment. It
seems that he was reading the company’s mail. I think he left the offending
letter on his desk.”
Reeve
thanked his secretary and left for Rufus’ office, wondering what sent his
young boss flaring up. But at least Rufus didn’t break down the door or render
someone unconscious this time. It would be miraculous if Rufus didn’t do any
damage.
The
young Shinra’s office was, as usual, immaculately clean and white. Which was
quite strange, because Reeve had expected it to be ravaged by a hurricane. It
seemed normal.
Except
for the large rent on the surface of the desk. Reeve shook his head sadly as he
gazed wistfully at it. Such a waste of beautiful polished oak…only to have
it ruined by Rufus Shinra. Reeve will have to call an antique restorer the
next day.
A
crumpled piece of paper lay between the piles of letters at either side of the
desk. Reeve figured this must have been the letter the secretary was referring
to. He casually picked it up and scanned the contents.
“Blah, blah, blah…” Reeve murmured to himself. “…Your water bill for the month of July is…FIVE MILLION GIL???!!! What kind of bill is THAT?! This is absurd! Where is this?!” He spotted the location on the paper. “Nibelheim Mansion?! But no one lives there now…So this is why Rufus stormed out of the building. Hmm…maybe I should investigate this too,” Reeve decided as he headed for the rooftop. “I might meet up with Rufus there. I wonder what he’s doing right now…”
________________________
“Rufus!
Move it! We can’t wait for you all day!”
“Shut
up, Reno. It’s not my fault that I haven’t had my share of rope climbing.”
“Um…do
you think I should climb with my sword and armor and accessories and boots
and…”
“Cloud,
why don’t you just %$@&*# shut up and stay down there? You can #@$&%$
climb up after we’ve all reached the top!”
“Cid
is right, Cloud. If you attempted to climb up while the rest of them are
suspended up there, there’s a possibility that you might debilitate and snap
the rope with the weight of all your paraphernalia. And remember Murphy’s Law:
If it can happen, it will.”
“You
know, it’s kinda weird listening to an esteemed intellectual such as Red XIII
believe in an inaccurate, hypothetical law such as Murphy’s Law.”
Vincent
was inclined to agreeing with Elena. However, suspended in mid-air with a piece
of rope as their lifeline, he concluded that it was not the right time to think
about Murphy’s Law.
They
inched their way up the path to freedom. Vincent, on Yuffie’s insistence, led
the group, followed by Elena, Rufus, Reno and Cid. Cloud and Nanaki, who
suggested that he be hoisted up with the rope afterwards, remained in the
basement, observing their agonizing progress.
“Will
you guys hurry up?!” Yuffie urged from the upper floor. “I still have to go
to Junon. There’s a bargain sale at this materia shop, and I wouldn’t want
to miss that! So get moving! Or else I’ll cut this rope from the drainage
pipe!”
Vincent
frowned as he yanked himself upward. Try climbing with one hand, Kisaragi,
he thought as he kept his metal claw away from the rope, knowing that if he
gripped with it, it might cut the rope.
“You
know what?” he said, breaking the tense silence. “I just remembered…I had
some rope and grappling hooks stored in the back of the library…I just forgot
about it until now…”
"VINCENT!!!"
________________________
The
house was deathly silent, as was to be expected of abandoned mansions.
Reeve
glanced about him as hurriedly and as thoroughly as he could, and then wiped his
perspiring forehead with his handkerchief. “Sir Rufus?” he called out
tentatively, his creaking footsteps echoing throughout the morbid house. “Are
you in here?”
He
cautiously walked forward, his knees buckling so violently that he was in danger
of falling. But he couldn’t help it. Scary, abandoned mansions had always been
the executive’s greatest phobia.
As
he scanned the house for any signs of life, he suddenly sensed a cold
draft…and an eerie, ominous presence. He turned around, then sighed with
relief upon seeing that the door had not magically slammed shut behind him.
His
relief was short-lived, however, for the moment he turned back around, a leery,
hideous, rotting figure materialized right in front of him, a manic grin on its
face.
And that was enough to send Reeve screaming madly out the house and slamming the door violently behind him.
________________________
“Did
you hear that?” Vincent asked out loud, halting in his climbing.
Elena
glanced upward. They were still a good ten meters away from the top. “Which
one? The hysterical screaming or the crashing door slam?”
“No,”
Vincent said softly, tense and alert. “That low rumbling…”
Everyone
stopped to listen for a while, until the silence was shattered by a
panic-stricken Yuffie.
“THE
HOUSE IS FALLING DOWN!!!”
As
she yelled that ill-omened statement, the rumbling crescendoed to a deafening,
reverberating din as beams and pillars began to collapse around the hole.
“GET
DOWN!” Vincent yelled above the uproar.
“Down???!!!”
Everyone protested vehemently.
“DO
YOU WANT TO DIE?! NOW MOVE BEFORE WE GET CRUSHED!!!”
Everyone
else slid down the rope while Yuffie turned to the exit. “OH MY GAWD! The
front door is blocked!!!”
“Yuffie!”
Vincent called loudly. “Jump down!”
“But
I- AAAAGGGHHH!!!” Her sentence was cut off as a heavy piece of timber landed
on her and knocked her into the hole. Fortunately, Cloud managed to catch her
and carry her off to safety.
Meanwhile,
the entire house started to collapse inward. Vincent scurried down the rope just
as falling debris chopped the rope off from where it was tied. He landed hard on
his bottom, and then rolled off to the side just in time to avoid being crushed
by falling lumber.
The
group huddled just outside the coffin room, watching incredulously with
unbelieving eyes as disintegrated fragments of the house piled up in the
opening.
A few moments later, the last faint traces of light vanished, and they all found themselves in the dark, save for Nanaki’s glowing tail flame…
________________________
Reeve
stared in disbelief at the mountain of rubble before him. Did the mansion
collapse when he slammed the door? No, it couldn’t have. But if so, where was
the house? And what was that heap of wreckage doing in its place? He rubbed his
eyes vigorously, willing himself to wake up from this dubious nightmare. The
overdose of caffeine must be getting to him already.
But
no, he was not hallucinating. The renowned antique mansion of Nibelheim has
surrendered to the harsh persecution of Time. The venerated edifice was no
more…
A
fleeting thought entered Reeve’s mind. Rufus Shinra?! What had happened to
him?! What if…Reeve shook his head, dreading to imagine the worst. Yet, it
nagged him inside, forcing him to accept the possible reality. What if he was
inside when the house collapsed…?
Smoldering with desperation, remorse, grief and determination, Reeve hopped onto the debris, digging into the scrap with his own hands and calling out Rufus’ name like a mantra.
A
gentle hissing sound caught Reeve’s attention. He glanced up and saw the
bathroom shower, still intact with pipes and all, spraying water at full blast.
His mind wandered back to the water invoice.
So
that’s why the bill was so high…Reeve realized, shaking his head. I
guess I should turn the shower off before the tab gets any higher.
Reeve advanced towards it and, using the pile of debris as a stepladder, reached up to switch it off. The spray slowed down to a trickle, then ceased entirely.
Well, that should do it...
He turned around and took a step, and the next thing he knew, he found himself sucked into a sinkhole in the wreckage…
________________________
All
eyes turned to the shrieking figure that plummeted down from the ceiling,
flailing its appendages around. It landed with a loud oof on a stray
mattress, then rolled awkwardly onto the floor in front of them, coughing and
gasping for breath.
“Hey,
it’s Reeve,” Elena declared.
“Reeve?“
Cloud gazed at them. “You know this guy?”
Reno
clonked him on the head. “Duh! Don’t tell me you don’t know Reeve!”
Cloud
rubbed his head, and then retaliated clonk for clonk. “Of course I know who
Reeve is…He’s the president of Neo-Shinra. But I don’t know him
personally.”
“He’s
the @#!&*^$ operator of Cait Sith!” Cid yelled. “Can’t you get it in
your #@$&^* spiky head?!”
“Oh…”
Cloud turned to the executive. “Hiya, Reeve!”
“You
followed me?!” Rufus interjected. “I can’t believe-“
“Oi,
Reeve,” Reno said. “You got some mud on your sleeve.”
Cloud
blinked with realization. “Hey! We’re rhyming! Cool! This is fun! Um, how
about…Hey, Reeve. Are ya gonna leave?”
Reno
stared at Cloud. “Not a bad idea. Let me try…Yo, Reeve. Have you been to
Kiev?” Both he and Cloud doubled up in laughter.
Nanaki
rolled his eyes. “Sir Reeve, those rubble could you heave?" The trio
chuckled some more.
“Come
on, guys,” Yuffie scolded. “This isn’t funny. Hello, like, we’re trapped
here without any hope of escape. No food, no water, no nothing!”
“There’s
still some mushrooms left,” Cloud spoke up.
“WHAT?!”
Reeve interjected, his jaw dropped. “You mean…we’re stuck down here?!”
He knelt down and gazed up into the air. “Oh my Odin, if this is the
punishment for whatever my crimes I have committed…I want a reprieve!”
Simultaneous
bursting out in laughter from the rhyming trio.
“Could
you just #$!^*& SHUT UP???!!!” Cid yelled.
“Don’t
worry, cat-man!” Reno consoled, patting Reeve on the back. “We won’t mind
if you stay. After all…the more, the merrier, like I always say!”
“RENO!!!”
Vincent,
glancing up from his brooding to study the enclosed ceiling, stated after
several moments of silence…
“I
guess the grappling hooks won’t be much use now…”
~END~
^_^
AUTHOR’S
NOTES: Whaddaya think? This fic
kinda started out as a what-if between FalconIce and me. You know, it took me so
long to patch up all the gaping plotholes in the story just so there was no
possible way of escaping from the basement (Mwahahaha…ain’t I evil?) But if
ever there is a flaw in my story, then by the Powers of the Fanfic Author, I
deem it utterly impossible for them to get out of there. Also, I’m sorry if
anyone objects to my resurrection of Rufus. I just couldn’t help it. His
character is so unique and fun to write about. Yes, I know, the reason why he
survived was lame, but hey, it could happen!
By
the way, I actually researched about the mushrooms I have mentioned.