"Fag"

Alex DeLarge panted hard; his ruddy face glistened with sweat. He crouched in his alleyway and mouthed a prayer while his heart beat in his ears.

Please God, don’t let them get me.
I am invisible.
I’m not here.
They can’t see me.
Make them go away.
Please, just make them go away.

His breathing came easily now and he felt a little calmer. He held onto the brick wall as he stood and poked his timid head out to look both ways, making sure the coasts were clear.

When he felt it was safe, he began toward home, but as he took a step, three boys dressed uniformly to him came around an upcoming corner and he froze, fearing he was found. He saw them before they saw him; they were crowded into each other, talking, until the ringleader looked up and caught him.

Alex turned in the other direction and broke into a run. His lungs still hurt from the last run so he tried to pace himself. There was already some distance between them so he got a good head start but it wasn’t enough. He could feel them on his heels and pushed himself to go faster but he felt these fingers bite into his arms, sinking in and holding on with vice-like grip, spun around, and thrown against a wall and sank to the ground on his butt.

He thought of curling into a ball or putting up his arms to block attacks, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good; it never did, so he just focused his eyes on the scuffed shoes of the boy standing above him.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t our favorite little fag Alex.”, the ringleader began then paused, “What, you’re not gonna fight back like last time?”

Please God!

“Aaaww, come on! You’re no fun! C’mon, I’ll give you a free swing.”

I’m not here.

“What, you don’t love us anymore? This used to fun.”

The boy paused again.

I’m invisible.

The boy cupped his hand under Alex’s chin and squeezed his face, forced his head up and spit into it. The boy let his face go and laughed as Alex drops his head.

Make them go away.

The three boys began to rain down kicks on him in a chorus of laughter and began punching him in his face. The assault continued until Alex played dead. Each one got in their last kick because leaving, laughing their heads off.

He got up after a few minutes and walked home with his head down.

Alex was a pretty boy. He was a girlish pretty boy. He would look just like his mother if it wasn’t for his father’s nose sticking on his face. It didn’t help that he kept his hair at his shoulders and he had a natural curl. He was beautiful, really. All the girls went ga-ga for him but the boys all gave him hell, called him “fag”, “queer”, “pillow biter”, and the like. Beat him up all the time.

He didn’t tell his parents, he didn’t tell anyone except Beatriz, his adopted sister. She suggested that he fight back, but that wasn’t his way and when he did try, it proved to be futile.

He came into the house and started to go up to his room.

“Alex?”

It was Beatriz; he didn’t have to look up to tell that.

“What’s wrong?”

Alex started to say nothing was wrong, but his mouth didn’t work.

“Alex?”

All he could do was look down at her skirt and her shoes. She tilted his face up gently and gasps.

“Oh my God, what happened?”

…

“It was them, wasn’t it?”

…

She took him by the hand and walked him upstairs to the bathroom and began playing nurse, swabbing here and there with alcohol. He sat on his bed with his head in his hands and Beatriz sat next to him, rubbing warm, firm circles into his back.

“You shouldn’t let them do this to you.”

…

“Tell someone.”

“Well I told you.”

“Alex, come on, I’m serious. They can’t keep beating you like this and you can’t keep letting them.”

…

“Alex, please.”

He burst into tears. He was so tired of the degradation and abuse, but what could he do?

“Oh…”

Beatriz hugged him around the neck to console him.

“Why can’t they just fucking leave me alone? Why have I ever done to them?”

“Shh…”

He quieted down after awhile and he felt Beatriz nuzzling against his neck and he nuzzled into her absentmindedly. Then he felt her kissing his neck and then suckling.

“Beatriz, wha…”

“Shh…”

She crawled into his lap, to his bewilderment, and kissed his abused mouth hard. He protested weakly and then surrendered. She put his hands under her blouse and over her bra and then rubbed his crotch with hers. The whole thing went by in it blur it seemed and then slowed down with orgasm. They breathed heavily and she collapsed on him, her cheek against his and he held her.

“Oh God, Alex, I’m sorry.” She said after some time, her head jerking up, eyes apologetic.

“Don’t be, it’s ok.”

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It wasn’t bad.”

“I know, but…”

She stopped and looked at him ruefully. He stroked her hair back and smiled his first smile of the day and kissed her.

“It’s ok.”