"I, Couch Potato"

An orange clock blooms onto the lower left hand corner and counts down from one minute as a young man seated at a table begins to stuff his face with the pale pink, ooey-gooey entrails of a sheep. He chews quickly, though impassive, trying to keep his calm cool as others look on and yell out daunting remarks and gagging noises. Apparently the ugly taste gets to him and the piece he just chewed so heartily stops midway in his throat and he begins gagging and coughing uncontrollable while the host screams that he has thirty seconds and encourages him to continue but he can’t do it and pukes in a provided bucket.

Beatriz sits on the couch and idly rubs Minino behind his ear as he drifts off to sleep curled up in her lap, purring lightly. The cat’s got it made, not everyone gets rubbed into sleep and she would know.

She watches the show with some interest, but not too much. She first dismissed it as the latest t.v. trash, but after watching it once, she finds herself drawn to it with some fascination. It’s a little sad and disturbing people would endanger themselves for half a million dollars. A million dollars, maybe, but half seems a little desperate even though nobody whoever comes on the show appears to be completely without anything, and what a way to make a “fortune”.

She doesn’t think she’s above these people in any respect and is not really disgusted with them for doing these things, but it just makes her think of her mother and all the things she had to do to support her and that thought depresses her.

Oh well, at least the host is hot.

Sometimes the simple things work the best wonders.

She changes the channel as the host gives the contestant a handshake and sends him on his way.

Poor guy, shoved crap down his throat and got nothing to show for it.

‘Tis life, I suppose.

A man and a woman are walking out of a bar when suddenly they are ambushed by a camera crew. Both of them look around, obviously surprised and scared, and then another woman accompanied by a man approaches them. The woman, who is exceptionally nice looking, yells curses at the other man, who stands there bewildered for a few moments before gathering his wits and yells back at her, poor, pithy, inexcusable excuses to defend his reason for infidelity. They go back and forth for a while, the man still not accepting that he was caught in his lie. The man that accompanied the angry woman questions the woman with the blurred face that was with her boyfriend, but she is curt and for some reason hostile. The girlfriend lashes out at her in a blind rage to which the other woman remains hostile and unapologetic. The host then begins to question the boyfriend, only for him to ignore the valid questions, stupidly denying everything. After awhile, the boyfriend walks off the other woman, leaving his girlfriend to be a wailing, mascara streaked mess for the host to console.

Beatriz shakes her head, unbelieving as to how dumb the boyfriend is. His girlfriend is a very pretty girl and seems sweet enough but somehow feel for an asshole like him.

She then thinks back to the girlfriend of the boyfriend of the night she had a few weeks ago and wonders why girls like her end up with bastards like that. But for all she knows, she might be attractive to jerks and for some reason a lot of women are.

It’s a true shame how people are so masochistic and they either don’t acknowledge or accept it.

But at least the host is hot.