The following are quotes I have gathered throughout the years.  Some are from music, some are from shows, and some just are.

Television -
Love is just a trick nature plays to get us to reproduce.
-Callisto to Thoedorus - Xena.

That’s what war is, people getting killed and destroying stuff.
-Iolaus to Melissa - Hercules.

We were playing a game of truth or dare, and I guess she’s not very good at it.
-Callisto to Xena about Gabrielle - Xena.

A drink, my queen?
No, I want to experience life in all of it’s agonizing glory.
-Theodorus and Callisto - Xena.

You aren’t falling in love with me, are you Theodorus?
And what if I was?
I would have to kill you.
-Callisto and Theodorus - Xena.

Does an Amazon Queen beat a Warrior Princess?
Do you really want to find out?
- Gabrielle and Xena.

Nothing more need be said.  Ding dong, the bitch is dead.
-Ares - Xena.

Take the scyth - it's just in case of killing to be kind
-Lila - Xena.

Here comes trouble...
-Callisto - Xena.

Hey, I paid for an hour!
- Autolycus to Velesca.

Oh, she has *got* to go.
-Velesca re: Callisto.

You don't just kill me and walk away!
- Callisto.

You know, Xena would have laid waste to the entire mortal world if Hercules hadn't interfered...  What *has* he got against fun?
- Ares.

Where is he?
Somewhere in this castle bound and manacled with two hundred locks.
Two hundred locks?
Yeah.  It will take him at least an hour to get out of it.
-Gabrielle and Xena about Autolycus.

That's what makes this work worthwhile.
Half-naked men running through the streets?
-Gabrielle and Autolycus.

Well, it's been fun, as far as near death experiances go.
-Autolocus - Hercules.

But you know, you could be right...
- Ares to Iolaus after nearly knocking him unconscious.

Will you come?
Is the world supported on the back of four giant elephants?
- A king's invitation and Iolaus' response.

What happened to your hair?
He traded it for a sword.
-The father to Fergus, with Conor answering - Roar.

The ground’s fertile enough without your tears.
Shut up.
-Tully to Fergus, though he says the same thing back to him later - Roar.

You two be good.
We’ll be even better if we’re bad.
-Methos to Duncan about him and Amanda - Highlander.

I loved him like a butler... I mean brother.
-the maid at the Fitzcairn estate - Highlander.

Well, if you're going to have delusions, you might as well go for the really satisfying ones.
-Marcus Cole - Babylon 5.

Poor thing, his mummy died... without a fight.
- Drucilla re: the puppy - Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It's just something I found in a quaint little shopgirl.
- Angel (evil Angel) - Buffy.

People...  Millions of people...  Walking around like Happy Meals with legs.
- Spike - Buffy.

Someone wasn't worthy...
- Spike - Buffy.

As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
-The boss on WKRP in Cincinnati.
(From my parents)

I hope he doesn’t destroy the earth, that’s where I keep all my stuff.
-Tick.

The dead have risen, and they're voting Republican!
- Bart Simpson.

Music -
I am the beast that feeds the feast, I am the blood, I am the release.  Come make me pure, bleed me a cure
-Metallica - Bleeding Me

Everyone’s got to have the sickness, ‘cause everyone seems to need the cure.
-Metallica - Cure

Never I asked of you, never I gave, but you gave me your emptiness, that I take to my grave.  So let this heart be still.
-Metallica - Mama Said

Never ask forgiveness; what is said is done.
-Metallica - Mama Said

Mommy, where's fluffy?
- Metallica - Breadfan.

On the edge of sleep, I awoke to a sun so bright / Rested and fearless, cheered by your nearness / I knew which action was right / The case had been tried by the jury inside / The choice between darkness and light...
-Rush - Double Agent

I knew he was different, in his sexuality / I went to his parties, as the straight minority / It never seemed a threat to my masculinity / He only introduced me to a wider reality
-Rush - Nobody’s Hero

I don’t question our existence; I just question our modern needs.
-Pearl Jam - Garden

Is something wrong, she said.  Of course there is.  You’re still alive, she said. Oh, but do I deserve to be?  Is that the question?  And if so, if so, who answers?  Who answers?
-Pearl Jam - Alive

She seems to be stronger, but what they want her to be is weak.  She could play pretend, she could join the game, boy.  She could be another clone.
-Pearl Jam - Why Go

I know some day you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star, in somebody else’s sky, but why, why, WHY can’t it be, can’t it be mine?
-Pearl Jam - Black

Vulnerable, wisdom can’t adhere.
-Pearl Jam - Immortality

Some die just to live...
-Pearl Jam - Immortality

I still remember... Why don’t you?
-Pearl Jam - Not For You

Ransom paid the devil... He whispers pleasing words... Triumphant are the angels if they can get there first.
-Pearl Jam - Tremor Christ

He who forgets will be destined to remember...
-Pearl Jam - Nothingman

Family...
Is Jenny home?
Yes she is, thank you for your concern.
-Josh and my father as my father closed the door on him.

Why don't people understand that 'excuse me' means 'please get the fuck out of my way'?
-Cat.

This encyclopedia is really kick ass.
Can you say 'nerd'?
-My father and mother.

Have you done anything stupid today?
-My father to my sister after she snuck out the car without permission.

Do you have a big meal like this to celebrate Thanksgiving in England too?
No, and I bet they don't exactly celebrate the fourth.
-My 72 year old aunt to my English brother in law with my mother answering.

Be good.
If you can't be good, be careful.
- My Irish granma's word's of advice.

We put the Voyager ornament on the other side of the tree from the other Star Trek ornaments because it's lost in space.
But, we did make a wormhole in case it needs to get back.
- my parents (and they say I am pathetic).
 

Friends, Work, and Such...
So, when were you converted to slash?
Math class.  We were bored.
-Typical dinner conversation between my friends and I.

Excommunicated...?  Been there, done that.  Good thing is, now my Sundays are free.
-Laura.

If it were in my orientation, I would kiss you right now.
-Laura.

R2D2 alone could fucking kick the Borg's collective ass!
- 'Darth BoBo'

How do you explain Ronco to starving children?
-Chris.

No, that was only flirting, foreplay is when one of us flatlines.
-Chris, about us.

Can you turn off that cra...  I mean could you please turn down your music?
- Michelle.

Sex is an aphrodisiac.  - Michelle.

The wind is windy.  - Michelle.

I trust you never to smoke pot, you get high off of my fabric softener.
-Mike to Michelle.

If blood is thicker than water, what is thicker than blood?
Puried bricks.
-Chris and Todd.

Do you have wet dreams about those violins?
-Eric to Todd, a music major.

So, he knows three chords.  Can he at least put them in order?
-Eric about the "band" at Comstock.

Fuck God.
-Eric.
(If he wasn't damned before, he is pretty sure he is now.)

...my child there are no problems... only challenges to help us grow in this life that we may better ourselves and grow as individuals and become better prepaired to deal with the challenges which lay in our future paths... whichever we choose to take... for the future is not certain.... although the chat room IS certain to f**k people around in a multitude of different ways on a regular basis :-)
- Al: Warrior Princess

How'd you get hired anyway?
I spoke English.
And you?
I knew the guy who spoke English.
- Chad and Derek on how they got hired.

What would happen if I cut your hair?
The scissors would end up someplace vital.
- Chad and I.

No, don't put it in HTML, just put it on the Internet.
- my (former) boss.

Misc...
The world is but canvas to our imaginations.
-Thoreau

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
-William E. Henley

All art requires courage.
-Anne Tucker

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
-Uriel Weinreich.

I expect to pass through this life but once, Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow being, let me do it now... for I shall not pass this way again.
-William Penn

We will either find a way, or we will make one.
-Hannibal.

One sword keeps another in the sheath.
-George Herbert.

A man claims to be Jesus Christ and asks to appear the United Nations to announce God's message to the world.  A psychiatrist is sure he can relieve this man of his disordered thinking by giving him antipsychotic drugs, but the man refuses to take them and insists that his thinking is perfectly normal.  Should we force him to take the drugs, just ignore him, or put his address on the agenda of the United Nations?
-James W. Kalat   Introduction to Psychology.  (My psych book.)

Strange as it may seem, it is true that the proud pagan in his secret soul despised the good men who came to convert and to enlighten him!
-Charles A. Eastman (Ohiyesa)  The Soul of the Indian.

There is no reality except the one contained within us.
-Herman Hesse.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.
-Fortune in my fortune cookie.  (Fitting, isn't it?)

If you don't get this one, you were reading the Daily.
- Professor Windsor re: a quiz question.

And you don't have to worry about that.  That's just something I think about at three in the morning.
- Professor Haroldson.

To make a long story longer...
- Professor Haroldson.

It doesn't matter if you just got in your shipment of dope from Peru or if your parents just died in a horrible plane crash - It's all the same to me.
-Michelle Lekas on her policy of grading late papers.

Catherine, you're young, can I ask you something?  What in the world is a 'Nine Inch Nail'?
You know, you use them to hang up your Iron Butterflies.
- Mimi and I.

I demand I revote.  If everyone who says they voted for me actually voted for me, I should have won by a lot more.
- New Govenor Jesse Ventura.
 

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