Project P.I.N. to be Taken One Step Further

The Department of Public Safety has announced that it will be taking Project P.I.N. to the, “next level…of safety!” As most students already know, starting October 1st, every person on campus will be required to wear their identification card in plain sight. The administration has decided that, in addition to the ID card, students must also wear shirts with large pictures of their faces on them. The decision came as debate about Project P.I.N. brought forth the realization that the cards would not adequately serve their purpose.
Students will not be required to wear the shirts until October 15th, which, the administration believes, gives them ample time to, “get to one of those booths at the mall or flea market that puts pictures on shirts for you.” Initially, students will have to pay for the shirts themselves, but they will be reimbursed when they bring the shirt and a receipt to the book store. There will be a booth set up for the refunds, which will come in the form of a voucher that can be used at the book store or the food court.
The administration’s biggest concern about the cards is their size. Dana Scullar, a representative of the Department of Public Safety, said, “You can pretty much put anything in that little holder and pretend it’s an ID card. You could put an old ID in there, or a phone card, a license, a credit card, a baseball card, a business card, a piece of paper, a playing card, or a debit/ATM card and we wouldn’t know the difference.” She also added that the average vision score for the campus safety officers was a modest 20/200, so the shirts would help them to do their jobs.
In addition to the picture of the student’s face, the shirt will also be required to carry other information. Along with the face, the student’s name is to be written in large, Times New Roman font on the front. The back of the shirt will feature the student’s date of birth, the last four digits of their social security number, their mother’s maiden name, their class schedule, the model and make of the car they drive, that car’s license plate number, their favorite color, the high school from which they graduated, their favorite flavor of ice cream, and their hair and eye color.
When asked what he thought of the shirts, public safety officer Ronald Aldrat reasoned, “With that much information, we should be able to appropriately do our job. The key word there, however, is ‘should’; so who knows, we may need to have even more information put on those shirts in the future, in the name of security of course.”

A student poses while wearing one of the new Project P.I.N. Shirts.