Alessandro d'Estino's Journal

August 6, 1599

This is the first entry since Clarissa's death. Years went by and I still feel the sorrow, as if it was yesterday that she died in my arms and I cast my curse on the heavens. Now, after all that time, I have put my thoughts to work again, like I used to ever before we met. But this time my efforts were not in vain. The greatest goal still lies ahead in the future to be achieved, but now I have gotten as close to it as never before.

The sun was shining its brightest, warmest rays of life into my cellar window as I was experimenting the afternoon away. Then suddenly a stranger thing happened - for the star was blazing just for me, with such a strong light that I have not seen before.

I turned my eyes down to the labyrinth of flasks and vials of fuming and boiling liquids and burning sulphur. And there it was. The bowl where I had some base metals to be put to the test was now covered with nuggets of pure gold, striking their golden light into my eyes.

February 14, 1602

The road was winding between tall blue mountains and cold streams of water, making its way down the hills under layers of frozen snow. The carriage was leaving behind miles and miles of the road and days and weeks of my suffering. The constant monotonous horse-shoe clapping was putting me to sleep, time after time, never mind the chill of the frozen winds.

I turned my eyes away from the cold sleeping scenery outside and for a thousandth time I have remembered my homeland. Leaving my country along with my past life had left another deep scar in my heart. Someday, still I hope, I will be allowed to forget about all the pain that the fate had bestowed upon me.

But before the next sad sunset my long journey was to be finished. Then I could finally get my tired soul to rest and pay attention to the tasks that lay ahead.

February 21, 1602

It was late evening when the horse-shoe clapping finally hushed and the carriage stopped. Doctor Flavio, my not-so-pleasant company, immediately fled from his seat and disappeared in the snow storm.

I looked through the window, where I could hardly see the marks of a big town, the remarkable signs of the city in the very heart of Europe and the center of arts and science. The roofs were all covered with snow and trees were kneeling under the weight of frozen branches.

February 22, 1602

Last night is the very right name for the night before. It was the last night of my long journey, and of the last week's riding blindly through the storm without a hope or chance.

As I entered the inn and closed the gate behind me, it seemed like the most pleasant place to be. Like a sanctuary hidden within the hell of pain. I ordered a good dinner, changed my wet clothes and slept until the bright daylight.

This morning may seem just like another beginning of a new cold day locked within sad winter-land, but for me it means a welcome change indeed. I am to make my way to the castle and to the King himself, and learn at last what good thing he expects of me.

March 9, 1602

The carriage passed through a huge entrance gate. As I stepped out onto a large courtyard, the castle greeted me with a number of tall gothic towers, surrounded by firm walls of the royal buildings.

I was accomodated in one of the many guest rooms, representing the glory and wealth of expanding kingdom. I have used every chance to explore and discover wonders of the royal castle, as far as public parts of the residence went.

Over two weeks passed by since I had arrived to the castle, impatiently awaiting the reception of the King. But today, this very morning, I am to meet him and discuss the matter in person...

March 9, 1602

The afternoon appeared to be a cold one, with freezing showers of snow and ice unceasingly knocking on the windows, and the sun with light as cold as the very inner core of my soul.

The King's orders were clear, and to say the truth, I wasn't surprised by this at all. Later I have tried to recall about what exactly I have done to turn metals into gold, but my mind was blank just like after a sudden flash of lightning. Now I know I will have to find sulphur, but there might be other elements to it as well.

March 11, 1602

I have travelled for two days and two nights, surrounded by the everlasting land of winter, the sad, snow-covered landscape of hills and frozen rivers and occassional villages, the sleepy terrain of white roads and traces leading to the distance.

My horse and I were exhausted even though a few breaks for food and rest, and upon arriving to the mysterious forest, the unholy place of the cruel dragon's residence, the sun was already high in the sky.

April 26, 1602

Weeks went by since I left the King's room, pleasing him with the gold I have created. While the cold days slowly passed away, I was spending most of time in the cellar, preparing more and more gold for the King to cover the expenses of the war, as he said to me.

Before I could see the spring was at its best, with fresh springing grass, blooming flowers and merrily singing birds circling upon the clear blue sky. As I was watching these beautiful scenes of new-born life and new-gained hope through the windows of my room, the King had called on me again. But this time his orders ran in quite a different direction, and it was one that I could not agree.

Still, I had to obey and do my best to fulfill the King's wish, even though everything in me was screaming in protest. I am to develop a mechanism of destruction, for which I will need some machinery, gun powder and dragon's tears, and help the King win the long-standing war.

May 2, 1602

I passed the huge entrance gate of the castle and followed the road to the north. During daytimes I carried on wondering at the beautiful landscape and awaking nature and nights I have rested in old convenient inns scattered along the way. I have seen places where kind people spend their easy and peaceful lives, I have crossed wild rivers and cold fresh streams and my eager eyes met the visions of crystal clear lakes, wide blooming fields and pine forests.

Upon the sixth evening's coming, when the sun was shining dim rays of orange light from low above the darkened horizon, a sight of tall grey mountains spread before my eyes.

May 8, 1603

This will be the first ever invention of mass destruction, of killing thousands or perhaps millions of people with one single blow. Kill and destroy. Waste human lives to satisfy the King.

Something broke in me. In my soul and in my heart, all I ever wanted was to heal, give life, build and create. And with the death of my beloved Clarissa I swore to avenge the mankind, to avenge and conquer death itself. I can't, not even for the King, play in the game of destruction. I can't cause so much death and despair to the mankind, my brothers and sisters, not for the King's wish, not for anything.

So I came into hiding. I kept avoiding the King's presence anytime I could and lied about my creation of death. As I sat here writing this morning, however, I was asked for a visit in the King's rooms. I received the last task, which shall prove my loyalty to the King once and for all. If he couldn't win the war now, he would defeat the enemies in a whole different way. "Make me immortal," he said.

I am not afraid of death, but still I fear his wrath. I have to believe and I have to hope that all that has been said is true. That men upon this Earth can be made immortal, can live forever upon nothing, that they are only hiding not to be discovered. I must believe, but what if this secret is just a legend?

August 12, 1603

Nights and days went by since I left the castle. Another thing that went by was the continuously changing landscape, villages upon rivers, castles upon the hills. I travelled to the north-east, further than I had ever imagined I would go. I travelled on and on, until the land became harder and hostile and I could occassionally glimpse the hilltops covered with snow.

Then once, when the evening set dark mist upon my way, I have realized that I have finally arrived at the lake. It spread in a distance before me, shining silverly beneath the fading sky.

August 16, 1603

I opened the flask and tossed the crimson-colored liquid high into the air. The stream flew up into the night, above the sparkling lake and my outstretched arms. Then the blackness was disturbed with a few light drops, descending from the distant sky. Soon thousands upon thousands tiny silver raindrops came falling down, making the darkness gleam like the brightest day and splashing into the lake, its waters now of pure silver. I took out the flask and got it full of this wondrous rain.

Refreshed and happy that old legends don't lie, I savored the experience and headed back for the castle. The many shuffling days and nights did not matter to me, knowing I would get a plenty of rest in the peaceful warmth and silence of my room.

August 17, 1613

I have succeeded in the creation of the Elixir of Life. I have fulfilled the King's wish, completed his task. But I never went back to tell him.

It occured to me at the moment when I stood with the vial of the precious life-giving liquid in my hands, that if I took it to the King, he could and would make the world a battlefield. He would be an invincible leader, able to set destruction to the world.

I left the castle immediately and headed for my homeland. There, in the garden of my old house, I sat down and thought. So many things happened, so many yet to come. I recalled a picture of my Clarissa, as she ran bare-foot, laughing, through the flower field. Then I saw her dying in my arms, and the sun dried tears on my cheeks before they could fall to the ground, just like it did then, many years ago.

I took the vial. I have had enough of fears to know and wish not to be any part of the world at all. For not being part of their deadly games, for my own Clarissa's death, for the love of angels and their golden light and for myself - I drank.

As I write these lines, ten years after I have willingly became what I became to watch the history take its turns, the King's brother had taken over the land, leaving the King himself sick and broken. Fate had it that he died this winter, winter that stands for cold, cruel and slow death. I don't pity him, not anymore than I would pity anybody's departure for the shadowland.

But me, I am immortal. I am changeless and flawless and I am wandering the world to learn all that there is left to know. I have set my steps on a road to walk through eternity, without regrets or fears, and I can't wait to see tomorrow.