| Chapter One: How long had it been now? So long. Unbearably long. Seconds had turned into minutes. Minutes into hours. Daidouji Tomoyo had found him that day, Li Meilin close by. Eriol had told them where to find him and they had found him, hours later, curled into a little ball exactly where he had last stood. "Xiao Lang." The sky was a beautiful shade tonight. Light blue with purple-pink clouds. So many of her favorite colors, there before him. The moon shone brilliantly, clear. Majestic. Surrounded by stars, which were slowly appearing. "Xiao Lang…" If he called out to the moon, would she answer? Would she tell him where Sakura had gone? No, he knew where she was. She sang down to him from her place there in the stars. She had left him behind. Eriol had told him, so long ago. Sakura's presence was no longer felt. It had cut off around the same time they had fought that man. Which was how Eriol had known to send Tomoyo and Meilin. Sakura had died. "Xiao Lang…" came a small voice from behind, sniffling. "Please don't do this again…" He blinked, brought out of his reverie and he looked over his shoulder at Li Meilin, who had tears shining in her eyes. He straightened, off and away from the balcony and stared at her for a small eternity, feeling completely lost. "What's wrong, Meilin?" he asked her quietly. Meilin gazed at him, long hair hanging loose. "Everything," she whispered, hesitating. And then she bowed her head and went into the circle of his arms, embracing him. He wordlessly wrapped his arms around her, chin coming to rest on the top of her head. And for a small lifetime all there was were her sobs, her breathing. And then she shifted a bit, not wanting to let go, and said quietly against his chest, "You were there again." Syaoran remained wordless as she sniffled. I'm always there. I'll always be where she is. "I knew from the beginning…" she was whispering, "that marriage to you would only make me your wife. Not your love." He softened, smiling gently down at the crown of her head. "Meilin…" "And if she lived today she would be your wife as intended." Her fingers dug into his shirt at his collar and he knew she played with the slender silver band hanging off the chain around his neck. He swallowed against her scent, realizing only once more that hers wasn't the scent he needed. "But I'm your wife, Xiao Lang," she said. "Please don't leave me here like this…" Syaoran stood silently, fingers smoothing her long, silky hair and he felt detached, strangely light. As if he weren't standing in his own body. Non-existent, almost. How can I promise that I won't leave you when I'm already gone? He lifted his gaze, looking up at the moon overhead. And he prayed, even as he held Meilin that wherever she was, Sakura was embracing him comfortingly. Hiiragizawa Eriol stared into the fire, gaze blank. All around him the world breathed. Lived. Moved on. He didn't know what time it was, only that it was night. Was it even the same day? The fire seemed to burn for hours, eating away at the wood in the fireplace. Akizuki Nakuru lay on the couch to the side, eyes closed. She didn't need to rest, didn't need to sleep. And yet she hadn't given up on old habits. On the back of the couch Spinel Sun also lay in his false form, but his eyes glittered in the firelight. The flames enchanted him. Always had. When he had made the Cards, as Clow Reed in his past life, it had been because of the roaring fire. The water drops which dripped from the small rain shower that had just passed. The wind that shook the shutters of the house. All those things. And the power one would have, harnessing those elements. He had been greedy for that power. But he had never wanted Sakura to pay for it. "She told me I would never see her again! That the cards had been returned to their rightful owner." Xiao Lang had been frantic when they had spoken that last time. And after Eriol had told him what he had felt his descendant had died before his eyes. Just as she had. But Xiao Lang still walked the earth even if his soul had gone on to join his love. Wherever she was. The fires would always burn, and love and death would always walk hand in hand into the flames. "Has it been five years already?" Spinel Sun asked faintly and his gaze was now on Eriol. Eriol smiled at him slowly, black hair hanging into his boyishly innocent face. "It has, my friend. Five long years," he answered softly, dark eyes shining in the light of the flames. Nakuru's eyes came open, as if she had been awake the entire time. "It moves differently now," she murmured. "When the Card Mistress lived it seemed as if life moved quickly." She broke off, blinking into nothing as if trying to search for what she missed. "Time was ours." He knew what she meant. Time had flown since he had first encountered Kinomoto Sakura. He had been ten. They had all been ten. Sakura and Xiao Lang had fallen in love. Had parted. Had reunited. And their love had seemed eternal. "We parted once! I'll find her again!" Their engagement had been expected. For the Li Clan it had been necessary to reclaim the power that was now known as the Sakura Cards. But for Sakura and Xiao Lang, marriage was another step towards a life together. They had both wanted it. They had both fallen short. Time had flown fast then, always out of reach. It had felt as if no matter how hard he ran he couldn't catch it. The day Sakura had died he had finally caught up and now? Now time lay all around him and he didn't know what to do with any of it. "Sometimes, when I become thoughtful," Nakuru whispered, tone distant, "I find myself missing Yue." Eriol looked at her in surprise. "Do you?" She didn't answer, instead closing her eyes and shifting into a more comfortable position. "And Spinel Sun misses Keroberos," she added. "I do not," Spinel Sun stated, opening his jaws wide to yawn. Eriol's face saddened once more. After the death of Sakura Tomoyo had gone to her house, to her room, for keepsakes and she had discovered the Clow Book gone, along with the Guardian. As if they had never existed. Kinomoto Touya had been in the room when she had arrived. And he said that he had felt it, in his heart, the exact moment Sakura had gone. He had said that he would never see her again. And it had been enough to make Tomoyo cry. He had also been the one to alert her to the fact that Tsukishiro Yukito was gone. Which meant Yue had gone as well. Kinomoto Fujitaka and Touya had moved away not long afterwards. "What evil to plague their family. To take the mother and the daughter. What sorrow," Eriol murmured, remembering Kinomoto Nadeshiko's face from pictures Sakura had shown him. "She was a model. But to me, she was my mom." "Eriol," Nakuru called him softly. He looked up, only understanding then that Nakuru had called him once already. Her face was sad as she gazed at him. He smiled at her, feigning a cheerfulness he just couldn't feel in his heart. "There's no need to pretend," she said quietly, the cheerfulness only making her all the more sorrowful. "Even when you try to hide it, it becomes all the more palpable." She broke off, eyes shimmering. "Daidouji-san hasn't forgotten you." Eriol felt surprise once more at the fact that she could see passed his expressions into what he felt. He was getting forgetful in his young age. Of course they would see through him, passed whatever barriers he had erected. They had been made to understand him, to feel what he felt. And what he felt at the moment he wouldn't have wished on anyone. "You'll be with Tomoyo again," Nakuru said in a comforting tone. And she closed her eyes once more, leaning her head down on her arms. He gazed at her wordlessly, realization slowly washing over him. It ripped us apart. All of us. Xiao Lang had married Meilin and gone back to China. Eriol himself had moved back to England after the Kinomotos had gone away. And Tomoyo. Tomoyo had stayed in Japan all by herself. The strongest of all of them to stay where it had all occurred. He wondered again what she felt to live in the same area knowing that when she had been a little girl she had had a best friend named Sakura. A best friend who had been Mistress to the Cards, who had had a heart big enough for everyone to crawl into. A friend who had left the earth before her time. We're alone now. And he suddenly felt something, something he hadn't felt in a long time. A small spark. Of life. And he lifted his head slowly, looking at the fire in confusion. Sakura… He basked in the sensation for a moment, in the warmth her presence brought. And then, as it began to fade he tried to reach for it. He reached with his mind and his heart but it slipped away, vanished into the night, and he was left feeling empty. He was losing it, imagining things that weren't there. He would gladly have accepted the spark as an indication of Sakura's rebirth into the world but the feeling was gone now. Sakura had not returned. She was still dead. And he needed air. |
| All images and works done/altered by ShiNoFuriko and TasogareBan. Please do not steal and always give credit to where it is due. |