| Chapter Ten: For a moment there was nothing but the rush of power, the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. The world tipped under him, vertigo reaching for him and he almost let it, almost allowed himself to keel over. "Sakura…" Sakura's green eyes were narrowed angrily, a trail of blood slipping down the corner of her mouth toward her jaw. Her face was pale, pale of color, pale of emotion. Her breathing was raspy, dark shadows under those brilliant green eyes. And never had he seen such a look as the one that she wore now. Behind Syaoran Eriol looked toward Yue and Keroberos with a frown of disbelief, lips parted. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded of them angrily, color staining his cheeks. He let his shield fall, his staff tipping from his suddenly numb hand to clatter to the floor where it vanished in a burst of black light. Under his arm Sakura was shaking, sounding as if she couldn't breathe. "What is this? What is this?!" she cried, clutching tightly to her own Syaoran who looked just as baffled as the rest of them. "You said she was dead!" Eriol shouted, eyes blazing. Nakuru and Spinel Sun slowly backed away from his wrath, looking from the Mage to Sakura in a disoriented confusion. "Sakura is dead!" Keroberos growled, lean frame stiff, tail trembling. "The Sakura we knew died a long time ago!" The Mage flung Syaoran off with a shriek. "Let go of me!" she ordered and then she grimaced, bending over the arrow lodged in her stomach. Drops of blood fell from her mouth, forming a tiny puddle on the floor. Syaoran shook his head, very slowly, at himself and at her. This isn't…possible… "Sakura." She looked up at him, raising her head and she looked ghostly, eyes set hard. "You have no right to use that name," she whispered furiously, heaving. "You arrogant-" And she cried out, fingers tightening on the arrow and she slipped to her knees, hunching over. Her shoulders trembled under her cloak, blood staining the material around the arrow puncture and darkening it. Syaoran slowly knelt with her, gazing at her in painful disbelief, doubt still lingering. She watched him out of the corner of her eye and then turned her face away to hide behind her red hair. "What…happened?" he uttered faintly. "What-" "You won!" she shouted at him, holding her hand out to him, to ward him off. "You won, are you satisfied?!" "No!" he cried and he reached out to grasp her by the shoulders, to shake some sense into her. Or enough for her to explain. "I'm not satisfied and I don't understand! Tell me what the hell is going on!" She grimaced against him, lifting her hands and shoving him away from her even though he tightened his grip. She shrieked again, rage pulsing in her eyes and then she flung him off with her foot, sending him backward on his rear. He slid a bit, and he hurt. Hurt from her rejection rather than the attack. "Just go home! Go away! You got what you wanted!" she shouted, her hand lifting to wipe at her mouth, smudging the brilliant red blood across her pale cheek. "I'm already dying!" Syaoran shook his head no, coming close again. "I came back for you! I came back to save you!" he pointed towards the younger Sakura with a trembling finger. Sakura didn't even bother shifting her gaze to her younger self. She leaned back against the wall, the light of her portal sending shadows across her suddenly calm face. Her eyes became hooded as she tilted her head back wearily. "You came back for me," she stated as if she didn't believe a word of it. "I'm sure you did." Syaoran dropped his hand, staring at her. She clenched her jaw, the blood on her face such a contrast to her lovely yet pale skin. And Syaoran realized at that moment that she wasn't Sakura. He understood that Yue and Keroberos were right. This wasn't Sakura. This wasn't the woman he fell in love with. Her eyes had never been this cold, so terrifying to behold. That expression of cold-heartedness had never crossed her face. "I came back to save her, too," Sakura whispered and only then did she allow herself to look towards her younger self, expression softening the slightest bit. "I came back for her as well." Sakura shivered under Eriol's arm, gazing blankly. Syaoran swallowed and crept forward, pausing when she merely looked at him in defeat. "I don't understand, Sakura. Tell me what is going on," he pleaded. The woman stared at her younger self again, green eyes shifting a bit as the light of her portal flared and then settled again. "I came back for her, to save her from you," she murmured, hand loosening on the arrow embedded in her stomach. "I came back to save her from an ill-fated love." Syaoran blinked in confusion, glancing over his shoulder towards the younger self before looking toward Sakura once more. "What do you mean?" he whispered. Sakura exhaled, clenching her jaw and lifting a weak glare at him. "What do I mean," she echoed him coldly. "I'll tell you what I mean." And she sat up a bit more, wincing and hauling herself back against the wall once more. "I was that girl." She pointed to Sakura who hid a bit behind Syaoran and Eriol. "That day, a long time ago… this day," she motioned toward the room, lifting her eyes toward the heavens, "I came here to fight by your side. And I was taken. By myself, an older version. She came back for my Cards, she told me. But when she saw me with you she decided to take me, to spare me." She cocked her head, gazing at him. "She hated you, so much. She would say your name and the vile was evident on her face. She hated you, with all her heart and she mocked what we had." Syaoran swallowed again, eyebrows drawing close. "I was taken and she kept me there with her. So many years displaced, with nowhere to go. I had Yue, and Keroberos…" she looked toward her Guardians, expression soft once more, "but I didn't have you." And now she looked at him, that same expression aimed at him. "I didn't have you." She shook her head, inhaling shakily and she lifted her gaze to the ceiling once more, green eyes painfully sorrowful. "It was all she ever said, that you didn't love me. That you had pitied me, perhaps, since the beginning. A lowly Card Mistress with no control over any of her power. How had I gotten the Cards when Syaoran was so much stronger, had trained from the beginning? It was all she questioned and she couldn't stand the fact that deep down, she still loved you." Syaoran nodded, waiting for her to continue but not wanting to rush her. She laughed slightly, wincing when the gesture caused her to stiffen. "I was foolish, I really was," she murmured. "I learned from her, learned everything about the Cards, how to modify them. She had already modified the Time Card and I thought to myself, 'When I get to be her age, I'll be just as powerful. I'll be able to do so much more. So that when I go back to Syaoran he'll welcome me and look upon me as an equal.'" She looked at him, an eyebrow arching defiantly. "I held so much for you. So much…emotion." Syaoran remained silent. "I don't know why I did," she spat then, once more wiping at the blood, smearing it and looking at her soiled gloves. She pulled them off after a moment, flinging them aside and she stared at her hands. Still young looking. She lifted her head, looking toward him again. "After a while, I realized I was stronger than her. She hated you but I was stronger, having learned everything from her. And contrary to her feelings for you, I was still very much in love with you." There was silence in the room when she paused, the faint thrum of the Lock Card as it held, the sizzle of her portal waiting for her still. She swallowed, licking her lips and frowning at the acrid taste of her own blood. "One day, I ran away. I still had my Cards. She had allowed me to keep them in exchange for her tutelage. She had long ago lost her own Cards, which was why she had come back for me. I think, in her own past your Clan had seized them from her but I never questioned it. Instead I did what she wanted. I used my Cards to help her and she taught me how to hate you." Syaoran grimaced at the biting tone. Then he clenched his jaw. "But you ran away once, that's what you said," he continued. She smiled at him, coldly. "Yes, I ran away once. I had my Cards, I had my Guardians. I was going to come home, stronger than ever. I was going to come home to you, to reclaim my life. And I did come home, Syaoran. I came home to see you. I opened the way with the Time Card and all I asked for was to see you. I didn't know how much time had passed and I didn't care as long as I could see you. See all of you." She let her eyes sweep the room, pause on every face. Eriol stared at her, feeling a strange premonition. As if he knew where she was going, what she was getting to. "I came out not too far from your house and I went straight for it, thinking I was going to see you. At last, after so long being apart I was coming home. And I came around the back of the house and saw you. With Meilin." Eriol bowed his head, lips parted. That night. That night I felt her, I felt her presence. I thought she had been reborn and then I blamed it on insanity, thinking I felt things I wasn't feeling. And I was right… Syaoran was frowning. "I was with Meilin?" he asked softly. "What do you mean?" Eriol slipped from his crouch to his knees, head hanging low. The look that must've been on her face. To finally come home and find him with another woman, find him with the woman he had been betrothed to. As if her love had never meant anything. Sakura closed her eyes wearily, blinking rapidly. "I didn't understand," she whispered to the ceiling. "I didn't understand why I had come back and found you with her. On the balcony, holding her the way you should have held me. I didn't understand…" Syaoran stared at her, eyes wide. "What…" he uttered, looking lost. And then suddenly he stiffened, so rigid he felt like he'd break under any kind of pressure. "The balcony…" And he saw the portal open in his mind, remembered questioning why Time had opened to a balcony in the middle of the night when he had asked to come back to save Sakura. "Xiao Lang, please don't do this again…" He inhaled, breath suddenly feeling very thin, as if he couldn't get enough of it, not enough in one breath to support him. He heard Meilin's voice in his head, suddenly felt her in his arms as he had held her that night. "I knew from the beginning…that marriage to you would only make me your wife. Not your love. And if she lived today she would be your wife as intended. But I'm your wife, Xiao Lang. Please don't leave me here like this…" "I didn't know what to do and damn it!" she closed her eyes, face nearly crumbling into tears. "I didn't understand! I didn't understand why I had been so sure of what I felt and then have it all flung back in my face!" She shook, her hand once more lifting to her stomach, wrapping around the arrow which continued to glow brilliantly. Syaoran was breathing just as heavily as she was. "I married her," he whispered faintly, sounding as if he felt her pain. "I married Meilin. The Clan wanted me to marry and I couldn't find you-" Sakura laughed at him, sounding just the slightest bit insane. "The Clan…" she uttered, in a punch drunk tone. "Always the Clan. Everything is about the Clan." Syaoran looked away in shame. Everything always had been about the Clan. Deep down he had loved her but after her supposed death he had taken control of the Li Clan, had married Meilin because that's what they had wanted from him. What a selfish excuse to throw at her now. "I went home," she said then, voice soft, very, very faint. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked up, not wanting to meet his gaze. Tears were shimmering in her eyes and she swallowed, pushing them away. "I went back to where she had held me for so long and she was waiting for me. She knew what I would see which was why she had let me go, she told me later. Because she had been through it before. And she welcomed me home as if I were a long lost daughter." She tilted her head a bit, staring into nothing. "It was like I had a mother again, someone to watch over me. She was so compassionate. To everyone. She was happy to have Yue and Keroberos with her again through me and she wanted to take care of me forever." She sniffled, bloodied hand limp against her stomach. "But she couldn't stand you, Syaoran. She hated you with every fiber of her being." "Which was why she came back," he said softly. "Why she crashed the party I held a few days ago." Sakura almost didn't seem to hear him. "She had possession of the Cards that day. I allowed her to have them because she was still Mistress. Perhaps they had been taken from her but I was her. The Cards would respond to her as they would me. And she went back to finish you off, finally." Syaoran was nodding as it began to click. "But then I took the Cards from her, I was stronger and I took the Cards." Sakura made a small noise like a snort. "Stronger," she muttered. She leveled cold eyes at him. "You have no idea what strength is. What power is! You took the Cards, my cards, from her! And she came back and she was old. I hadn't realized until then just how much time I had spent with her. It seemed like years one day and seconds the next. Because the Cards protect you, Syaoran." There was a small glimmer in her eyes as she spoke about them, and he realized it was because she no longer saw them as friends of hers but mere tools. "The Cards slow your aging, make you immune to many things. And while I remained young, she got older. And older. Until she came back from that little excursion small and helpless, and died in my arms." Keroberos came forth, golden eyes shimmering. She looked at him and her expression almost softened once more, eyebrows drawing in. And then she hardened, jaw clenching. "You didn't have to," Keroberos whispered softly. "You didn't have to follow her ways. We wanted to protect you. We wanted to save you-" "You can't save me," she growled at him, face looking at him almost in pity. Syaoran was hunched over, head bowed. "How did you come here today then?" he asked and he didn't lift his head to ask the question. "If I have the Cards how did you manage to make your way here today?" Sakura looked at him, eyeing him in distaste, and a sneer crossed her face. "I'm powerful, Syaoran. Even without the Cards, I have magic here." She lifted her hand to her chest, wincing. "It didn't take much for me to come here. But I wanted those Cards, her Cards." She motioned toward her younger self. "And I wanted to save her from you." She fell silent, at last leaning her head back against Lock tiredly. And with a small wave of her hand she extinguished the portal behind her, exhaling as it shrank and vanished. Syaoran didn't move, shoulders hunched in misery. Sakura looked at him, a cold smile playing across her face. "Don't look so let down, Syaoran," she said to him softly, almost lovingly. "You won this time. We stop the cycle here." And she gestured toward her younger version without shifting her gaze from him. "But she knows the truth now. She knows everything-" "The truth?!" He suddenly exploded and she recoiled, caught off guard. He lifted his head, tears on his face, frame trembling. "The truth? Don't you tell me anything about truth! And don't you tell me I never loved you because I have spent the last five years looking for you, trying to understand what went wrong! Trying to understand…to understand…" he motioned toward the ceiling, to the walls, to everything surrounding him, "to understand why I couldn't find you and who had taken you!" Sakura stared at him, eyes wide. He closed the gap between them once more, taking hold of her shoulders and shaking her. "I hurt everyone. Everyone! Because I couldn't find you and I couldn't live without you! And it wasn't just me." He shook his head. "Tomoyo-san. Eriol. Your family. Do you know how it felt for me to have to tell them that you had died but that there was no body? That I just knew you were gone?" She tried to pry his fingers off but she couldn't manage a grip and he realized suddenly that she didn't have strength to her. Hardly any. He softened his hold a bit but not enough for her to wrench his hands off. "I came here to save you today. I came to stop the Mage that had taken you and I was so sure that with everyone behind me we would do it. I would kill the Mage and I would save your younger self and with that done I would cease to exist. Because my timeline was wretched. Cursed. With you gone no one was complete. No one was happy." Sakura struggled now, angrily. "You're lying. You're lying-" she growled, trying to pull away and fling him off at the same time. He fought her, once more taking hold of her shoulders and she grimaced but he didn't care. He shook her, causing her to groan painfully. "We can end it here, Sakura. You can come back with me and everything will be good. We'll be together again-" "I'm not going back!" she shouted angrily and she shoved him off her a bit. "It ends here already but no matter what I won't go back with you!" "Then go back for Tomoyo," Eriol cut in and he rose to his full height, dark robes hanging around his frame. "Go back for Tomoyo. For Touya-kun. Fujitaka-san. Go back for them if for no one else." Syaoran lifted his hands to her face, thumb running over the drying blood on her face. "Come back for me," he whispered. She stilled in his arms, stared at him from inches away, at his mouth and then his eyes. And tears slowly rose in her eyes, blurred her vision. He leaned closer, intimately, feeling her gasps on his lips. "For me." Beside Eriol the younger Sakura reached for Syaoran, taking hold of his robe fearfully. He looked at her, reaching up to grasp her hand and she whispered, "I don't want to become like that, Syaoran. I don't want that-" "It's not going to happen," Syaoran comforted her, drawing her close. "It's not going to, I swear it." Sakura gazed at them, swallowing painfully and then her eyes shifted back to Syaoran, breath rapid. "I'm not going back," she repeated firmly, inhaling raspily. And she suddenly lifted her bloodied hand, clutching his wrist with a frantic grip. "But I'm not going back because I can't live with it. I can't live with my feelings because I know they'll never change. I've spent too many years believing the same thing and I can't go back anymore, I can't believe in the old ways." Syaoran stared at her, tears rising in his eyes. Please don't do this… "I loved you so much-" he murmured to her as if it were an excuse for her. She gazed at him, her eyes scanning his face, his emotions. And she smiled then, a hint of the old Sakura there. The compassion, the tender love. There you are…at last… "And no matter how much I told myself I hated you, I loved you even more," she said softly. Then, very gently, very slowly, she leaned forward and brushed a kiss to his lips. A painful, heart-wrenching kiss that made the tears come down on Syaoran's face. Her fingers lifted, tracing his lips and she kissed him once more, body trembling, her own tears trickling down. "Things will change now," Yue said from close by, gray eyes lifting to the ceiling. "The timeline is restored." Sakura nodded faintly, leaning against Syaoran and allowing him to embrace her tenderly. "Will you stay here with me?" she asked him, eyes shut. "Always," he answered her firmly. "Wherever you are I will be with you." And he caught sight of something shimmering around her neck. Slowly, he reached up and pulled forth a long necklace, a slender band hanging from it. He gazed at the band, recognizing it, thumb running over its smoothness. And then he lifted it to his lips and kissed it. Sakura opened her eyes to watch him, blinking, jaw clenching as she sniffled. And she noticed the same necklace around his neck, the partner to her band hanging from his. A sorrowful expression crossed her face as she found it painfully familiar, and she leaned into him once more, burying her face in his neck. "Just…hold me now. Until it's all over." Syaoran did as she asked, embracing her tightly, feeling his tears drop from his face onto her shoulder. He didn't ask what she meant by over. He already knew. He held her for a long while, no sound in the room. Nothing but the thrum of Lock. Her breathing was shallow against his skin, her chest rising very slightly. He inhaled, closing his eyes when he took in her sweet scent. So familiar. Untouched by her anger. It came from her hair and from her skin, the scent of cherry blossoms and flowers, fruits. A natural scent. "If something were to ever go wrong…would you still love me? Always?" Syaoran inhaled again, wanting to stop the tears that were rushing to his eyes. Hearing every breath she took, feeling her weak body try for another. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It should have been him to fall away, should have been him to suffer. Not Sakura. Not her. "I would love you with everything I am, for the rest of my life. No matter what." Her chest slowly fell. And it didn't rise again. He opened his eyes slowly, his tears preventing him from opening them any wider than slits and he felt all her weight against him. Her frailness. Her mortality. And he could barely stop what sounded like a muffled whimper from traveling passed his lips. With a soft breath he leaned his head down, inhaling once more and allowing her scent to overwhelm him, and he pressed a kiss to her shoulder, hands holding her. Blue mist rose between them and as he pulled away a bit the arrow lodged in her stomach vanished into smoke. Close behind, Arrow bowed, her bow and arrow before her and she also vanished, returning to card form. Syaoran slowly pulled away fully, Sakura's limp form draping over his arm lifelessly. He lifted a hand, amber eyes glistening with unshed tears and he brushed back her hair from her face. Her soft skin was pale with the stillness of death, lips parted gently. He settled her on the floor, rising away from her form achingly. And it was then he saw the room flicker. The Lock Card seemed to blink, as did everyone in the room. Except for the young Sakura and Syaoran. He looked toward Eriol, already understanding. "We did it. Which means we don't exist anymore, do we?" Eriol shook his head, eyes closed as if he were concentrating. After another moment he came out of it and slowly looked toward the young Sakura and Syaoran, who were staring at Syaoran uncertainly. Syaoran moved toward them, feeling as if he floated. They stared at him as he paused before them and then he crouched, feeling himself flicker again. "Everything is fixed now," he said to himself and to Sakura gently, looking from one face to the other. "There's nothing to worry about anymore." His younger counterpart nodded wordlessly and he realized that for once, he was happy he was the kind of person to usually fall for anything. Sakura, on the other hand, was confused. "Will that happen to us?" she asked faintly, clutching at Syaoran tightly. And Syaoran smiled at her, reaching out to touch her cheek. "No. Not anymore," he answered. "But I need a favor from the both of you, one you both need to agree to before I leave." They nodded, both unsure. Syaoran's smile widened. "Promise me, no matter what, you'll always love each other. You'll never let anything come between you, nothing as small as misunderstandings and nothing as big as death." He shook his head. "Nothing." They nodded again, staring at him. And his younger self said firmly, "Nothing." Syaoran looked at them both together, and felt the weightlessness again. He rose away from them, stepping back to join Eriol and the Guardians. And he lifted a hand toward Sakura, wanting to touch her again. "Aishiteru." She gazed at him, a small smile crossing her face and she mouthed the same to him, drawing closer to her own Syaoran. And with her, his jaw clenched, Syaoran looked like maybe, just maybe this time around, he could take on the world and make it. A moment later the weightlessness increased until, to Syaoran, it felt like he flew. His fingers were transparent as he looked down at them and he turned to look at Yue and Keroberos, Nakuru and Spinel Sun in his peripheral vision. "It was a short ride," he said, referring to himself as Card Master, "but it was worth it." Eriol clasped his shoulder, a smile on his face. And then he felt nothing, flying into the face of oblivion. |
| All images and works done/altered by ShiNoFuriko and TasogareBan. Please do not steal and always give credit to where it is due. |