| The Abandonment of the Last Homely House: Legolas was beginning to doubt. They had ridden for quite some time and they stood not far from Weathertop’s summit but now he wondered whether they should even head for it at all. He had wanted to stand at the peak and look about, perhaps get a better idea of how best to reach Rivendell, for that would be their next course. But Pippin and Merry seemed to have a good memory of which direction Rivendell lay and which way they had gone with Strider so now they hesitated along a path that they had followed. They had taken it southwards until, late in the night, they had come to a stop at the path’s end, before a bank that led them to the northward slope of the hill. Legolas waited now, thoughtfully gazing up at the summit and also at the stars beyond, shimmering brilliantly. “Any ideas?” Merry asked him. “Only yours,” he replied and he turned his head to face the hobbit. “You were leading, were you not? Please continue. We follow you and place our trust in your judgment.” Merry looked flustered for a small moment but then, thinking over the elf’s words, he nodded. And he led them, bypassing Weathertop at last and rounding the southwestern slopes. It was easy going but they went wary still, staying in as many shadows as they could. They encountered another road not long afterwards and they looked about upon reaching it. It was much too open but once passed it became a heavily wooded area. They would need that area to hide and so, in the night, they stole across the road and plunged into the thicket, hiding themselves amongst gnarled trees and prickly bushes. The horses were not happy with the path but nothing could be done for them and Jei’s attempts to soothe Stormrider were for naught for the mare would not appreciate her efforts. They continued onward in silence, stopping an hour or so after midnight to rest. “It was quite a long way to Rivendell if I remember correctly,” Pippin said around a mouthful of stale bread and ripe berries Merry had stumbled upon. “At least ten days or so, eh, Merry?” Merry made a snorting sound as he ate. “More like twelve from Strider’s calculations. But perhaps it will be less if the horses would cooperate for once.” He threw his pony a glare but it was Arod and Stormrider who seemed to take offense. Pippin sat with his arms wrapped about his drawn knees. His eyes searched the wooded area surrounding him and he murmured softly, “The last time we passed through here our dear Frodo was already wounded by the weapon of the enemy.” Jei lifted her head from her spot against a twisted tree and looked at the hobbit wordlessly. They never spoke of the Ringbearer nor Gandalf the White and though she had been interested in the history she had somehow felt that to ask was not her place. And so she had gotten what little information they shared as if it were scarps of food left over from dinner, keeping it for herself and never speaking of it. She looked down at the ground before her and slowly reached a hand out to play with a blade of old grass, picking at its rotting brown edges. “What was he like, Frodo Baggins?” she asked quietly. The entire group looked at her save for Pippin who smiled faintly, gazing up at the moon hanging in the sky. “Frodo was…like everyone else,” he replied softly. “He was learned, though, in many tales and languages. Always cheerful. And very…resolute.” He nodded, looking at her finally. “He was the Ringbearer because he wished to be. It was his responsibility, he felt, and I would have been one of the first to say to leave it alone, to let someone else carry the burden to Mount Doom. But he was adamant about it and in the end, so were we.” Jei nodded also, in understanding, and she looked about once more to see the group staring at her, even Legolas although he carried a blank expression. “I am allowed to ask,” she responded to their questioning looks haughtily. “I am part of this group, like it or not. And it is hardly proper for one to journey with others and not at the very least trust them.” She looked directly at Gimli with the last sentence. The dwarf merely glared at her. “You are right, of course,” Legolas said after a tense moment. He inhaled deeply, shoulders lifting and then falling wearily. “But for some of us…it remains a bittersweet memory.” He hesitated thoughtfully, eyes gazing far off into the dark distance. “Almost a tender pain.” Jei clamped her mouth shut at his words and did not, thereafter, ask again about the Ringbearer. The group fell into silence, still awake deep into the night until at last Legolas suggested a rest before heading off once more. The group rode for what felt like years. It could only have been days though and every day was the same as the last. No rain fell, only the brilliant sun overhead during the day and the soft moon at night. And though the going was long and weary, they did not encounter Black Riders. Legolas wondered what they planned for they stayed close to the road. Pippin and Merry had gone over their flight to Rivendell, many years before, and one of their mistakes had been to leave the road. Strider had been careful to stay as far away from it as possible but to try to stay upon its course and in the end they had had to cross the road to reach the Last Bridge. And so on the fifth day of riding and traveling they crossed the Last Bridge, remaining upon the road. Merry and Pippin cheerfully chatted about three stone trolls and through her exhaustion Jei found she did not understand a word they said although they spoke quite excitedly. She merely followed upon Stormrider, shoulders heavy, her head throbbing now and again. She had not answered any questions regarding the slice on her arm for truthfully she did not know why she was unaffected by the weapon of a Ringwraith. She really couldn’t find it in herself to care, either. All she knew was the heavy weariness upon her and the dull ache of her stomach gash and her head wound. A fine member of this Fellowship she made, battered and bruised and only about two weeks into their travels. Who knew how much longer until they reached Rivendell much less Mordor. On the ninth day they slowed a bit and Merry and Pippin spoke of Glorfindel, the golden-haired elf-lord that had come from the House of Elrond to search for them. It had been around that area that he had encountered them and his glorious white horse had borne Frodo away to safety. It seemed almost like a fairy tale the way the hobbits spoke of it and Jei found herself wanting an elf-lord of her own, one who would sweep her away from all this nonsense of Mordor and Ringwraiths. Her eyes shifted over toward Legolas slowly, periodically as they went, and she mused that he was quite an enchanting elf-lord. But all that drivel she thought was merely that. Drivel. Nonsense. She was in no position to abandon her quest, especially not for an elf whose main purpose was to repay her for something that was not even his fault. And so she followed along behind, wordless still, reprimanding herself for even dreaming. “Are we nearby?” Jei asked finally, after hours still upon Stormrider. She felt the mare’s weariness and she felt terrible for putting her through so much. All she desired at the moment, really, was to dismount and walk on her own two legs, to work life back into the lower half of her body. All the riding had her cramped and wishing, even for one night, the comfort of a bed and a feather pillow. And perhaps a nice bath for she felt horribly dirty. But then, Rivendell would be the perfect place to stop. No doubt they would have just the bed she required and enough food to last them for days. Or so she hoped. And she also hoped they allowed a woman like herself in. Gimli would be another problem altogether, being a dwarf. But she was sure someone there would recognize Gimli, son of Gloin, as one of the Fellowship of the Ring and no doubt they would be cared for. Legolas could be her guide for the small while they stayed there, showing her about the House of Elrond and telling her stories, especially about the quest to Mordor. She wanted to hear all about that. “The Ford,” Legolas suddenly said, answering her question which she thought had just been happily ignored. From the front of their line he looked over his shoulder toward her, Gimli holding onto the elf on the back of Arod. She pulled her mare up beside him and stared out from under the cover of trees to the swiftly flowing river and for a moment all she thought was that this was the place where the Ringbearer had faced off against the Nine Dark Kings and been saved. If she stared hard enough she allowed herself to believe that there, across the river, stood a majestic horse bearing a tiny hobbit with the One Ring glistening in his hand. It sent a powerful shiver, the vision, and her own necklace burned against her cold skin, reviving her back to the current situation. She looked at Legolas, who gazed back wordlessly, and she said quietly, “When we cross…will we find ourselves in Rivendell?” Legolas nodded faintly, studying her. Pippin and Merry pulled up beside them, Merry controlling their pony. “Shall we go, then?” he asked, motioning to the river. “It does not seem difficult to pass and the sooner we reach Rivendell…” his eyes shone as he broke off and Jei saw the excitement in those eyes, the mischief as well. She feared the worst for all the elven folk of Rivendell. She looked toward Legolas once more, waiting for permission to continue. The elf nodded once more. “Rivendell awaits,” he said quietly and without another word he motioned his horse onward, riding into the river and starting to make his way across. On the back of the horse Gimli was lifting his stout legs and complaining about the freezing water. Jei smiled toward Merry and Pippin and followed them as they plunged into the water as well. It was indeed cold but she no longer cared for she was close enough to Rivendell to feel it, deep inside herself. Hopefully, by the time night rolled around, she would be in the company of exquisite elves and feasting with Glorfindel himself. Rivendell had been abandoned. Jei couldn’t bring herself to believe it but there it was. Such beauty, elven crafts and handiwork, all left behind to decay and fall away into nothingness when the autumn breeze carried it away. Upon setting foot just inside the House of Elrond she had felt the strange emptiness but she had not wanted to believe. They were busy, no doubt, all the elves busy with some matter or other and so none had been there to welcome them. But it was not so. Rivendell had been abandoned, the elves following Elrond as he set sail for the Sea. So now she stood dumbfounded, staring all about at the beauty of the elves, at their home with the brilliant colors of the approaching autumn, and realizing that there was no one there anymore to appreciate it the way she did. She looked toward Legolas and he was saddened as well but, as she gazed at him she realized that he did not look surprised. She had dismounted as had the rest of the group and she turned to face Legolas, looking at him questioningly. “Did you know?” He did not reply for a moment, shoulders hanging heavily. “I…feared,” he replied with a quiet sigh. “But I did not wish to believe.” All she could do was stare at him and he lifted his gaze finally to return her stare, face serene although she hoped it was just as mask to hide his true feelings. She needed it to be a mask. She needed there to be something to relieve her sudden heartfelt pain. But he offered her no comfort and she felt the unexpected, terrible urge to strike him because he never showed when he hurt or even if he felt. His blue-eyed gaze was blank, calm even as she suffered through defeat. “They would have been of no help, in any case,” he said after a thick moment. His gaze did not leave hers. “When it concerns the quest of Man the elves will not be bothered.” He shrugged as if it answered all her questions and she barely controlled the impulse to hit him. She wanted to fling herself at him and make him hurt, make him feel something, some kind of remorse for making her believe there would be more to Rivendell than what was actually here. She found herself shaking with barely restrained fury, hands clenched into fists and her gaze slowly turning dark. Her chain burned against her skin and she quickly turned away from him, averting her gaze. There was the anger again, rising up, and she was afraid of the sudden strength to it, needed to quell it before it flared out of control. Instead she slowly left the group, walking numbly down a small path. She needed to lose herself in Rivendell, in this magical place that could very well have been her salvation. And she needed to lose herself for a long while. At least a few hours to calm down and not listen to his voice, or see his face. Just a few hours… “Jei…” he called after her. She shook her head wordlessly, waving that she did not wish to hear what he had to say and in the end he let her go, vanishing down the small path and losing her behind the autumn trees and golden sunlight. He exhaled wearily before turning to the rest of the group. “Let’s look for a place to rest up. Then we will explore Rivendell once more.” There was a waterfall, a small quiet waterfall, deep inside Rivendell. She did not know how long she had walked nor where she had gone but it seemed long enough and she did not wish to lose herself, no matter how safe Rivendell was. Rivendell was not safe, she reminded herself. She could lose herself in the beauty of the elven world and never look back in regret and she could not afford to do that. There was a task at hand that would not, could not, go unfinished. Perhaps once it was all over she would return to Rivendell, dwell here for the rest of her life, away from everyone. But for the moment she needed to keep her thoughts straight and as far away as possible form her heart. The waterfall was hidden among the brush and bordered by hanging willow trees and large oaks. The water ran smoothly into a pool and slowly drained out into a stream, taking off to her left. She stared in that direction before looking back toward the waterfall. She really shouldn’t but she felt so grimy and filthy. One small wash and she could feel better. Just one. Warily laying her clothes and robe aside, and propping Ebony and Ivory against one willow, she allowed herself the small pleasure, standing under the falling water and losing herself in the cold iciness. It was as chilly as a winter breeze but at the same time, refreshing. It woke her up, made her question all her motives and all possible avenues of getting to Mordor. For the moment the hobbits seemed to know the way and she knew well enough that once they could no longer lead Legolas and Gimli would be her guides. She bowed her head, sinking deep into the cold darkness of the steady stream of water. She didn’t want to think about Mordor, or about the days it would take to get there. She wanted to stay, never fearing the Ringwraiths again, losing herself in the sun. Everyday, waking up to this world and knowing it was all hers, that no one would ever come here with the elves gone. And knowing that there had once been a race of beautiful people who had lived here and created this world she wished to claim for her own. They had once walked through this fair place, with their golden hair and proud nature, and had once sung songs of the green earth and played as children did. And after the dark war they had gone and left it all behind. That was it all was, really. Like a toy, handed down from a sibling. Where they were going they would have no use for it and so, best for it to be passed on. She curled in around herself, drawing her arms to her chest and wishing they would return, even if just to comfort her. For one moment she wanted there to be elves everywhere, laughing and singing, floating along in their beautiful world. It would make it all seem senseless, the quest to Mordor. She could bury the chain and the ornament in the blessed earth of Rivendell, no one would ever have to know and no one would ever find it. And if they came for it she would be here to defend it, guarding her new home as her life. It would be so simple, so perfect. So- “Are you all right?” She whirled quickly, eyes snapping open but she couldn’t see very well for drops of water ran into her eyes and blinded her. She pulled away from the water, lifting her hands to brush away the water and clear her vision. Pippin stood standing on a rock not too far away and his hands were raised to his face and covering his eyes innocently, resembling a small child. “Pippin!” she cried senselessly. “I thought I was alone!” “And you were!” he said quickly, still blocking his gaze. “Until I arrived and, forgive me dearly but the moment I saw you indecent I covered my eyes! Honest!” Jei stared at him for a moment before quickly lifting her gaze and looking about cautiously, jaw clenching. They seemed to be alone from what she could tell. The earth was peaceful once more, undisturbed. Lifting a hand to wipe away the last bits of running water she silently wound about the hobbit and made quickly for her pile of clothes, first pulling on her robe. It would cover her completely and enough that she could dress underneath it. She found herself feeling bad for the hobbit who waited politely for her. “It’s fine now,” she called to him and he jumped upon hearing her voice come from far off to his right. He lowered his hands and caught sight of her as she reached for her pants. “I really do apologize,” he said to her. “I was going to just leave and wait to say what I had to say but Rivendell is an awfully big place and I was worried you would not meet with us. I came to tell you that we would be staying in Elrond’s home for as long as you wish. It was decided by Legolas and Gimli and they feared you would lose your way so I was sent.” She sincerely doubted Gimli thought about her at all but it was kind of Legolas. She found her anger slipping away but at the same time she did not wish to relinquish control of it. She had reason to be angry. He should have said something. And then again, she should have thought that it might be abandoned. She should not have placed so much trust in the elves, no matter how beautiful and magical. She should have kept a straight head instead of dwelling in their enchantment. With a sigh she finished dressing with Pippin standing uncomfortably several feet away. “I thank you still, Peregrin Took,” she said to him as she took hold of Ebony and Ivory and she smiled at him gently. “Will you walk with me to where they are?” The hobbit hopped down off the sturdy rock he had stood on. “Of course,” he replied and he came to her side, looking up at her shyly. Slipping on her blades she allowed him to lead, head lifted purposefully. If one nice bath revived her, what would new clothes and warm food do for her? She wondered as they walked, looking forward to seeing more of Rivendell. “Did ye really know Rivendell would be abandoned?” Gimli asked Legolas as they wandered the halls of Elrond’s home. It was wonderful to be back, especially after such a tiring trek and, though empty, the Last Homely House still seemed to have some kind of magic in its halls. All of Rivendell lay in silence, save for Gimli’s steps across the marble floors. Merry had lost himself in the porch where they had once met up with Frodo after his flight to Rivendell, murmuring in delight that, “It has not changed, not one bit! Still as wonderfully peaceful as the day we arrived so long ago!” Legolas sighed inwardly, hands clasping behind his back as they walked. “I did not know, for certain…” he said slowly, his blond hair falling down the sides of his neck. “Although there was a bit of a stirring inside that I did not wish to deny. It seemed…the correct thing to do with Elrond and Galadriel gone.” He paused, lips parted to speak more. “Do you not know the feeling, my friend?” Gimli merely stared at him, eyebrows drawn together in a frown. Legolas wondered how best to phrase it but in the end he simply said, “I find myself thinking of the Sea more and more with each passing day.” Gimli slowed at his words and Legolas, without lifting his head to look, also came to a deliberate stop. “Each passing day…” Gimli asked quietly. The elf nodded silently. Several times each passing day, he should have said. But somehow he doubted the number of times mattered much. The simple fact that he thought of it at all was a cause for alarm. The wanderlust he felt would only be truly ended with the greatest destination and that lay across the Sea. The Greatest Destination. The Last Destination. He lifted his head and straight ahead, through a large set of double doors, he saw the sunlight of the setting sun and he remembered when he had last been to Rivendell. There had been a gathering in the Hall of Fire and though he had not partaken of the festivities he had felt somehow that the merriment would last so long as he remained within the walls of Rivendell. Outside lay the darkness, unwanted. But in here, surrounded by the other elves and his companions, he had felt at peace. Was that what it would feel like, in the Undying Lands? Reunited with old friends? He hoped so, with all his heart. “I feel she is angry…” he murmured faintly, his gaze lost in visions of Frodo Baggins speaking with Bilbo, reminiscing of their home in the Shire. Of Sam, standing not far away from them and smiling brilliantly as they spoke. Fair Boromir, wandering the halls suspiciously but only for the reason that Rivendell had made him want to drop all his defenses and just be. And Aragorn, lost in Arwen’s long-limbed embrace. Where had he been, so long ago? Wandering the halls like Boromir, as always enchanted with any green tree and any springing blossom. “She had no reason to go and get her feathers ruffled. It wasn’t as if ye promised her the help of all the elves of Rivendell,” Gimli grunted darkly. Legolas frowned delicately. “No, I suppose not…” he said quietly. “But I think she wanted, at the very least, one moment in which she could drop her burden and live in the moment. One moment of peace, surrounded by people, by the races. Someone…other than ourselves.” Gimli snorted. “Not you I’m sure…” Legolas nodded to himself, gaze caught in those long gone visions and bonded to them no matter how hard he wished to do away with them. “I feel, in that way, that I have failed her.” And without another word he bowed his head once more and floated on, leaving the dwarf to catch up as they resumed their exploration of the last Homely House. |
| All images and works done/altered by ShiNoFuriko and TasogareBan. Please do not steal and always give credit to where it is due. |