Observations from a Former Shimadzu Employee
The placement of a Technical Support/Inside Sales job opening by Shimadzu Scientific
Instruments in the Employment Section of the Baltimore SUN newspaper on 10/19/97 prompted
the following response:
To the unfortunate individual who takes this position.... GOOD LUCK (you're gonna need
it!). This is what you'll likely encounter at Shimadzu in the mid-Atlantic region:
››› The job ad states that Shimadzu is a growing leader in the field of
analytical instrumentation.... this is very debatable! According to the corporate
financial summary published on the Internet, the company's overall rate of sales and net
income has declined in 4 of the last 5 years compared to 1992 levels.... only Shimadzu
would characterize this as "growing." Cash dividends paid per share of company
stock were decreased by 28.5% for 1995 and 1996 versus 1992-1994 levels. This is a clear
indication that all is not well with this corporation! In addition, Shimadzu's share of
the overall HPLC market is far behind that of the two major recognized leaders.... namely
Waters Corporation and Hewlitt-Packard. Shimadzu is more of a follower than a leader!
››› Your job will require you to support the regional manager and technical
support personnel.... this is an impossible task! Keep in mind that neither the current
regional manager nor the former regional manager could successfully manage (among other
things) the demo equipment inventory which is one of the stated duties. If they couldn't
manage it (with nearly 25 years of management experience between them), then you'll
probably not succeed either. Please also note that you will undoubtedly be taking
directions from sales and service personnel too.... you will get grief from all
directions!
››› In the part of the job description which lists your duties, you'll
notice the last entry.... "and more." Get your butt plug ready cause you're
gonna need it! Maybe not today, next week or next month but don't ever go to work without
it. In the mid-Atalntic region, there are too many chiefs and not enough Indians! You'll
be taking orders from everybody and trying to do your best to satisfy everyone's needs.
But you can't WIN! Somebody somewhere will be expecting you to pull a rabbit out of your
hat time after time after time! Sooner or later you'll fail.... and that's the time to
watch your back!
››› Regarding the ability to make independent decisions.... you should make
as few as possible! No matter what you do, there will be someone somewhere who will
scrutinize your reasoning, question it and point out (behind your back usually) that
"there was a better way or better solution" to the problem at hand.... you can't
win! Advice: Walk around the office cautiously with your back up against a wall at all
times unless you want somebody to rip you a new asshole!
››› The job ad specifies good customer relations skills.... this is
important! Keep in mind that the customer handling skills of the regional manager and
sales reps may not be as impeccable as yours. Therefore take notes (with times and dates)
and write down any negative comments voiced by customers (because you will hear them).
Unfortunately, you will probably find that there are manipulative forces within the
workplace that will wrongfully pin the fault of these negative comments and observations
on you at some future date.... you've been warned!
››› The job ad specifies good product knowledge.... this is impossible! You
can have all the training in the world, but unless you use newly learned skills.... you
will lose the benefit of any received training. At last count, you'll probably be
responsible for eventually learning how to operate over 100 different pieces of
instrumentation. You will get some training (if you can call it that as the regional manager has noted) but the onus is on you! You'll be
expected to work long arduous hours in the office and take home supplementary reading
materials. You may work your butt off 45-60 hours per week only for some corporate ingrate
to observe that you don't know how to operate some particular module.... you heard it here
first!
››› Do you like sugar-coated cereal? Well, if you plan to stay in this
position for any period of time, then develop a sweet tooth! If you resist, this could be
your undoing. The former regional manager had an avid propensity to sugar-coat everything.
In all of his dealings with employees and customers alike, you got sugar whether you liked
it or not! The current regional manager was cut from the same mold.... he's had a chance
to refine it - just like sugar should be.... ask him!
››› Let's talk personalities.... Mr. Terry Adams (current Regional Manager)
often characterized the former regional manager (Mr. Patrick O'Donnell) as being
"useless." Advice: Watch your back around Mr. Adams! If you have any doubts,
read Mr. Adams memo which bashes and condemns in-house personnel
to see what he is really capable of. Ms. Diamond Melville (Sales Representative) coined
the term "clueless" to describe the former regional manager. Advice: Watch your
back around Ms. Melville as well! These two trolls have their own agenda. They are both
adept at whitewashing their own problems and professional shortcomings while greatly
magnifying the flaws of fellow co-workers! Regarding Mr. O'Donnell, you need to be told
that he is unscrupulous and disingenuous! You will be amazed at how he rationalizes
things.... stay away from him - he's a hypocrite. Take-home lesson: This trio is akin to 3
peas in a pod!
In closing, if an attempt were made to discuss the personalities of Shimadzu in-house
personnel, we'd be here for the rest of the day! Suffice it to say: Don't bring up any
product problems in the workplace.... in-house management has been known to assail (i.e.
back-stab) the messenger in an overt attempt to extinguish the bona-fide message. Make
daily observations for yourself, ask lots of questions and take liberal notes (keep a
diary). You will be expected to be a miracle worker day in and day out. Because the deck
is stacked against you at Shimadzu, remember to always WATCH YOUR BACK!
n.b. Webster's 3rd New International Dictionary defines a "troll" as a
supernatural being in Germanic and Scandinavian folklore and mythology having sometimes
the form of a dwarf and sometimes of a giant and inhabiting caves and hills.
n.b. Webster's lexicon provides the following definition for a hypocrite: one who
pretends to be what he is not or to have principles or beliefs that he does not have.
Expect Less Value and More Disappointment from Shimadzu
This page was last 
12/31/00