Note: It does switch pov's between Aya and Youji. You will be able to tell from the Line "Youji or Aya" Line at the beginning of each Pov.

If I am going to explain the depths at which I have sunk, I might as well start from the beginning. No, not the very beginning, neither you, nor I are ready for that tale. But at the beginning of him. My future hate had a foundation: intense dislike. I disliked his careless playboy attitude, his drinking, his teasing… but what annoyed me the most was when he dropped the façade. It usually happened when he far too drunk to remember. His guard would come down and you would see a deep sadness, an endless longing for the unattainable; a festering wound. It made me see similarities between us I didn’t want to see. We both hid our emotions but Youji; he got to smile, got to laugh. Even if both were fake, even if they were hollow, he had a much better chance at remembering how to do it sincerely than I ever did. And to be truthful, I envied his better prospects. I had learned; it had been drilled into my head by the time I first glanced at this new Weiss that I would never be ‘Ran’ again. It was possible that after the real Aya woke up I might be called Ran again; I might even smile and laugh. It was possible but not probable, especially the latter two. I might be called Ran to lessen confusion but the child who had only been loved by his sister was dead. Not even she would love the murderer I had become. Ran had died when he sold his soul, taking with him any ability to be truly happy, leaving me with nothing but a hollow desperate shell, the need for revenge and…memories.

The more I saw of Youji, the more I could see behind the mask. So I made a conscious decision; I would hate him. I would bury every other emotion I had towards him with all the pain of everything else. Because as any one who has ever hated would know, hate is as blinding as its counterpart, love. Everything becomes a fault. And I would know, between my hate for the man who destroyed my sister and for myself who had failed to protect her. It was easier that way and life became pattern-like: work at the shop, see my sister, do missions. I had never planned on being the leader, nor had I ever wanted it. But even the cold-hearted swordsman that I am, found it difficult to look into Omi’s big blue seemingly innocent eyes or Ken’s open ones and let them fall. And if being a leader to them meant being a leader to Youji, so be it. I never looked into his eyes anyway, falling or not. He didn’t matter to me; I hated him. And life or rather, my existence continued. I scarcely remembered what living was like.

Patterns are so uncomplicated.

But he would have to change all that. Youji was my partner on a mission. It would have been simple if the blonde had not got hurt. I had just killed a target when I heard Youji’s cry of pain. He had been shot, possibly fatally and the man was about the make it a sure thing. Before he had the chance, I threw his katana at his back, the aim truer than that time with a certain helicopter. Unfortunately, I only realised that left me with just a boot knife after the fact. Why had I put myself in such a precarious position just to save a man I hated? I’ve been ignoring that question ever since. Moving myself closer to his side with more than a small degree of difficulty, I grabbed my katana, killing the last of the guards around us. Youji had informed the others of their situation but by the time they had arrived at our position, I had already carried the blonde to his seven. At least Youji wasn’t getting blood all over my Porsche. I told Omi and Ken they would meet them at the hospital and took off my headset.

I dialled the Magic School Bus Hospital’s number while driving. They were ready for Youji by the time I screeched to a halt in front of the emergency exit. I watched as the placed him on a bed, hooking him up with things as the raced into the ER. I stood at the window looking into the operating room in a hospital I hated, glaring at everything. It was only then I allowed myself to realise that my hands were shaking and that all those emotions I had buried with hate were starting to resurface. Smashing my fist against the wall beside the window, I closed my eyes, trying to control myself. “Damn that man. Let him live long enough that I can kill him.” I muttered to myself. It was then that Omi and Ken came rushing in, frantic. I ignored them and their concerned looks. It was a long time before the doctor came out, covered in Youji’s blood. He would be fine given time to recuperate. That was all I needed to hear. I walked away, still ignoring everyone. I barely stopped at the convenience store on the first floor, buying a pack of cigarettes. I still found it humorously ironic that a hospital sold the cancer sticks. Walking outside, I noticed that night was waging a losing battle with the sun; the dawn was rising. I leaned against a street lamp and lit a cigarette, taking a drag. I stared at the smoke for a long, long time, long past the time when the smoke was visible to anyone else. Thunder, from a passing lightning storm shook me from my memories.

I got into the elevator wet from rain I had not noticed and went up, passed Youji’s floor to one I was more familiar with. How many times had I walked down this hallway? Opened this door? Prayed to gods I didn’t believe in? I didn’t know, nor did I care. I looked down at the innocent girl lying in the bed and almost fell on the chair beside her. I found I couldn’t quite look at her so I just stared at the beeping monitors for a long moment. I still don’t know when I hid my head in my hands and started to cry.

I woke up to two pairs of wide worried eyes and a world of pain. I wasn’t surprised to not see a set of amethysts. I knew Aya hated me, he had never said those words per say, but that didn’t make it any less clear. The feelings weren’t mutual. The man’s action had surprised me when Aya saved my life. I sure as hell hadn’t expected it.

“Hey.” Fuck, I sounded like a frog. Omi beamed at me, for being alive I supposed with an odd sense of humour. These drugs they give us do wonders. Better living through chemistry.

“Hey yourself.” Ken answered.

My throat was too dry to say anything else, but Omi, ever the nursemaid had already poured me a glass of water and he helped me take a few sips. Having to drink out of the chibi’s hand was degrading, but at least I could talk.

“You guys make it out okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, the mission was a success, Aya should be pleased, at least. He didn’t even ask. The man is here somewhere; he left after the doctor said you would be okay. I know he’s still here because I had to move your car out of the emergency entrance.” Ken looked at the door, as if Aya was the devil and speaking of him would make him come. “Speaking of the doctor, we should go tell him you’re awake. We’ll be right back.” They walked out reluctantly, Ken pulling Omi out of the room. It was then, of course, that Aya appeared at the door. Leaning against the frame. Was he wet?

“You’re awake.” He stated, not moving from his position just inside the room.

“So it seems.” I replied, trying to get passed the pain to get up.

“You shouldn’t be trying to get up.” The redhead advised. What did he care?

“You should get your wounds checked.” I retorted instead, but I was grateful to be able to settle back down. I watched the man shrug one shoulder elegantly before taking a few steps into the room warily, as if it would bite him. For the first time in a long time Aya looked into my eyes, his bangs off to the side, so as not to hide them. I was surprised by the lack of hate in those amazing orbs, in fact; they looked empty. As if he had felt something he hadn’t wanted to feel and so instead of getting passed it, he just stopped feeling anything. That would be something Aya would do. Something had scared him, but I wasn’t fool enough to think it had been me or anything associated with my being. Our gazes stayed locked until a doctor followed the other members of our team in. I answered his questions distractedly, half-paying attention to what Ken was hissing at Aya off to the side. From the way those violet eyes narrowed, it had to be an accusation of some sort, a recrimination. But Aya didn’t deny it, just took it as if it was only to be expected. They stopped as the doctor finished up, leaving it for a better time. It was then that the doctor turned to Aya.

“You look like you have more blood on you than when you walked in, let me take a look at you.” Ken looked horrified that he had just berated a wounded Aya.

The man shook his head. “I can do it myself if you have a medical kit.” The man opened his mouth to argue but the redhead gave him a Look and he wisely changed his position. He was obviously smarted than I. This was a Kritiker hospital after all, the doctor knew the man probably wasn’t the best person to mess with.

“I’ll get a nurse to bring one in.”

He left and Aya leaned against the wall, the picture of the indifferent individual. He glared at me, almost like it was before this, as if warning me not to comment. Hey, if Aya wanted to bleed to death while brooding, I couldn’t stop him, even if I wanted to. He had pride to rival, gods, could anyone rival his pride? He walked into the bathroom, presumably to clean his wound. I wasn’t surprised when he walked out, one pant leg cut off, supposedly with the Swiss Army knife he always kept on him, and wrapped around his left leg. Those hospital bathrooms were too small to do anything in. A bouncy nurse walked in, pushing a trolley of medical supplies into the room. She stopped upon seeing Aya. “Fujimya-san!” she cried, causing everyone to stare at her as she rushed over to him, “Are you alright?”

Aya looked as if this was one of those no good very bad days, where absolutely everything went wrong. He hesitated before nodding; he pushed her away gently, showing a kindness to her he never showed to the girls in the flower-shop. “I’m fine.”

“But Fujimya-san…” she tried to object.

“You have work to do Nyoko-chan,” he stated firmly. She sighed and then smiled warmly at him.

“Feel better, I’ll see you soon. Upstairs?” she questioned. He just nodded, going to sit down on a chair to deal with his leg. I had to admit I was staring at him, well at least I wasn’t the only one. What the hell had that been about? Aya purposely ignored the rest of Weiss, only glancing up into my eyes for the briefest of seconds before turning his attention back to stitching up his leg after the local anaesthetic was in effect. Omi shook his head, pushing aside his curiosity to mother hen again.

"Aya?” he asked, taking over sewing up his leg.

“It’s just a stab wound, it didn’t hit anything important.”
Except for you, I thought sardonically, not in the mood for the fight that would occur if I said it out loud. As it was Ken snorted and received one of the man’s more potent glares. “And a cracked rib.” He continued. I winced internally, I knew those hurt like a bitch from unfortunate personal experience. And Aya had picked me up and carried me and then ignored the pain. He must have had something to help slow down the bleeding in his leg. Glancing into the open bathroom, I saw his bloody belt hanging on the square shower door. How had I not noticed that before? I looked back at the two of them when Omi tsk’ed as he wrapped up Aya’s chest. At least there had been some painkillers in one of the kits. A barley audible sigh was heard as they started to kick in. He got himself up with effort and pushed the trolley out the door. The sight might have been humorous what with Aya looking like he was wearing shorts on one leg and pants on the other, except it was Aya, so it wasn’t. I gave Ken a reproachful look for not being a PI and following him. He got the hint and stepped partly out the door, explaining out loud what was happening for the wounded’s benefit, I suppose.

“He just gave back the tray thing and is talking to your doctor, they’re to far away to hear what they are saying.” I didn’t tell him to get closer, Aya probably knew we were observing him already. “He finished speaking to the doctor, wait now another one is stopping him. The guy seems pretty frantic; he looks young. Aya’s going to the elevator…Why would he go up? What is up there?” Ken asked, annoyed. “It seems he got tired of waiting and is running for the stairs. Do you think I should follow him?” He looked back, a bit of adrenaline in his voice. Omi cut in before I could respond, “No. We’ve invaded his privacy enough, leave it be.” I nodded reluctantly. “Hey who knows, maybe he’ll come back and tell us?” They laughed. I sighed, I would figure it out later, Aya was most likely not going to come back for a while, and I was going to get some sleep. My eyes closed with the redhead still on my mind.

Go to Chapter 2

Or go back to the Preface

Or go back to the Fanfiction