I stormed into Aya-chan’s room, ready to kill something. Needing to hurt something the way I was. I stared down at the lighter in my hand, the lie written in delicate script. ‘Ran.’ I threw it at the window, bellowing with rage. The glass shattered, lighter gone forever taking the anger with it and leaving an empty feeling inside.

I fell to my knees, ignoring the glass around me, crying for everything that could have been, for everything lost….

I slept at some point and woke up some time later. I went into the washroom in my sister’s room. Glancing up at the mirror, I realised something. I looked like shit.

Well who gave a flying fuck.

I walked out of her room, asking for a broom. I ignored Kudou's room, scarcely glancing at it as I walked back, broom in hand. The head nurse frowned at me as I explained what happened and I resisted the urge to cut her up in little pieces as I paid her the yen for the cost of the window and little bit extra, clearing up any issues. I cleaned up the room and watched as the moved Aya-chan out to a new room. I sat and watched her. She was sleeping, that was all, just sleeping…

I used to be able to convince myself that as long as I could see her, now I know it for the lie that it is. And I would do anything to be ignorant for a while.

Omi walked in, followed by Ken and the doctor. The blonde said nothing about Aya not being in the room as he stared at me. "You're lucky you're already incapacitated." He hissed, too quietly for the doctor to hear. I swallowed loudly, jeez the chibi could be downright scary.

"I have good news, young man." The doctor said as I wrinkled my nose. I wasn’t a 'young man'. "You are released from the hospital. You will need bed rest for a while and even after you will to take it easy. I have given Tsukiyono your prescriptions. Go see your general practitioner in a week or so. The best of luck, good day."

"Bye, doctor." I called after him, thank god this is over. I've had enough hospital time. They brought me out in a wheel chair, which was a novelty for about oh, two seconds. I stepped out of it once we got out of the hospital when something caught my eye.

“Come on, Youji!” Omi urged, wanting to get me home, most likely for a ringing out.

“One second.” I muttered, ignoring the furious look Omi sent Ken’s way for not stopping the older blonde. The brunette shrugged, wondering what he could have done. It seemed I wasn't the only one the blonde was upset at for invading our icicle's provacy. Oh well, misery loves company.

There. I thought I had seen it, a little flash of violet light. Now, what was Aya’s lighter doing here? I reached down carefully to pick it up, ignoring Omi’s protests. I guess that’s had been the cause for the sound of glass breaking. I thought as I looked up to see a window boarded up above where the lighter had landed.

I got in the car, wondering what I was going to do with this controversial piece of metal.

I was sitting on my bed, reading when Youji walked into my room uninvited and unwanted. I had not spoken to him since he had come home three days ago. I stood as he walked in, placing the book down.

“You shouldn’t throw precious things out the window, you know.” He said, taking a step closer to me with each word until he was close enough to drop something into my hand.

The lighter hadn’t been beaten up too badly, a few scratches here and there, most likely from the window but that was about it. “It isn’t something precious,” I denied, knowing it was futile,knowing I was about to start dancing with devil and while still ignorant of the tune, I did not think it was one I could keep up with.

“Isn’t it,” he asked, his lips almost brushing against mine as he said it, “Ran?”

Youji had to have been expecting the punch, what with the teasing actions and the cruel mocking words. Yet he still didn’t block, making me wonder just what he was up to. Right now, I really did not want to care.

“Get out.” I said, pointing to the door just in case he didn’t realise where it is.

“But, Aya! Is that how you thank someone for returning something precious to you.” He continued, still grinning that grin that almost reminded me of Schuldig. He was back to Aya at least.

“Fuck you, Kudou!” I shouted, everything that had happened getting the better of me, “Just Get The Fuck Out!” I continued, raising my hands to clutch at my head, the lighter dropping to the ground with a clang that reverberated in the sudden moment of silence that occurred after my outburst.

“Aya…” he said, suddenly sounding concerned and it drained the anger out of me. Damn him, for controlling me this way.

“Just go.” I whispered, leave like everybody else.

“No.” he stated, and I suddenly realised I had said that last bit out loud. I can’t deal with this right now, I thought emphatically, turning towards the window. If I ignore him, maybe he’ll just go away. Here’s hoping…for what, I wasn’t quite sure.

“Leave like everybody else.” He whispered and something made me cringe as he said it.

“No” I immediately responded before I could think. That would probably be the worst thing for Aya right now, to be alone. I took a step forward as Aya turned towards the window staring out unseeing. He jumped as I put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. He looked down at the ground with his jaw clenched. I put a hand under his chin to make him look at me but he just closed his eyes. I was starting to get annoyed when I felt a droplet of something on my wrist. I was startled to notice that Aya was crying, just two teardrops falling from his eyes but it was enough to show he was in pain, and not the kind that a few bandaids can fix.

“Aya…” I repeated, not really knowing what to say.

“I thought I told you to go.” He whispered.

“And I declined,” I returned and he opened his eyes to look at me. You could see a lot more of the blues and greys in his eyes this close but they were still a vibrant violet, the unshed tears having made them shine even more.

“Why?” he wondered aloud, sounding like he actually didn’t know why I was there. I was there because he was upset dammit! Because I had hurt him twice when I hadn't meant to and I was sorry. Because I didn’t want to see him destroy himself like this! How could Aya not know that! I thought of our most recent encounters. Aya had actually made overtures, he had saved my life and I had mocked him and invaded his privacy.

"Look I've screwed a lot of things up lately. Especially with you. And I wanted to apologise. I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy, it's just that... you don't share your past and I wanted… I wanted to know why you do all this. What you would kill for. And fuck, this isn't going the way I had planned." I muttered, pushing my hair back.

"How was this supposed to go?" he asked, finally looking at me, his face back to the normal (for him) impassiveness despite the tears still lurking.

"I just wanted to thank you for the lighter and to give it back and to apologise for letting my curiosity get the better of me."

"Hn." Of course, obvious Fujimiya answer.

"What do you want me to say? What will make you believe that for once I have good intentions?" I asked, exasperated.

"What does it matter what you say. Words are meaningless."

Aya only saw action as something worthwhile. So I did the only thing I could do.

I kissed him.

Obvious Kudou answer, right?

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