It had been a long two weeks at the precinct for the two detectives. Their work load was heavier than usual due to being short staffed. It was summer and several of their coworkers took advantage of the summer vacation time they had coming. It was a hot summer and a summer filled with crime as the city seemed to be more irritable than usual. Twelve to fourteen hour days seemed to have become the norm for Starsky and Hutch. The two men were exhausted and hot, but glad that neither one had decided to use their vacation now and leave the other alone. They both looked forward to the end of their shifts. The usual was to head to Huggy's for a cold brew and to cool off, or just go to one of their apartments and relax, argue about what to eat and about what they would watch on TV. Both knew that the arguing was welcome and would not want to be without each other's friendship and company.

Both had become very active at the local recreation center for the underprivileged kids they had come to love so much. They took special interest in playing basketball with them and in coaching little league. Anything for the kids. After all, they were only grown kids themselves. They questioned weather they did it for the kids or for themselves. They decided it was both. Being with the children seemed to take away the death and destruction they faced daily on the job.

Life was good.

The two were heading back to the precinct after a long day of cruising the streets in search of mischief. Today had actually been a long and non-eventful day. The most excitement they had today was in settling a small quarrel between two of their favorite homeless older men. The duo had a special place in their hearts for these guys. The argument was about whom was going to sleep in which spot in the alley tonight. It was an easy job for the detectives to settle this one.

"Geez Hutch...I hope that isn't us in twenty years".

"Well", Hutch said with a grin, "Don't worry pal, I'll make sure ya got lots of newspaper to keep warm and I'll bring you my leftover wheat germ". "I'll make sure you don't go hungry".

"Very funny Healthboy!"

"Hey Starsk"?

"Yeah"?

"Got any plans for the long weekend we have coming up?"

"Nah...You?"

"Well, I bet we could talk Hug into bribing his friend Joe to let us use his cottage at the beach".

"That would be just too good. Think we can do it?"

"Sure, why not?" "Huggy might be glad to have us out of his hair for a couple days".

"Ok" said Starsky, "Lets go bribe".

Starsky did a U-turn and headed for Huggy's. It didn't take much bribing and "begging" for him to contact his friend Joe and make the arrangements. Neither man was seeing any one special woman at the time and they decided to make the trip on their own. Starsky was certain it would not take long to meet some nice ladies at the beach.

The cottage was just about two hours up the coast. It was just off of the beach and perfect for the "R & R" they needed. It was Wednesday and they only had two days to go until they were off for four days.

Thursday morning came quickly. It was Starsky's turn to pick Hutch up for work. He was already ten minutes late and was ready for the consequences he would pay for it. He beeped the horn a couple times and when Hutch did not appear, Starsky got worried and went in to inquire. He found Hutch on the couch sound asleep.

"Hey Buddy"

"Huh" Hutch said still very groggy.

"Hey, vacation didn't start yet bud. We have to do our time today before they set us free".

"I'm sorry Starsk...I just can't seem to wake up". "I'm so tired and just feel a little dizzy".

"Well, no wonder...if you'd eat real food".

Hutch interrupted abruptly and scolded Starsky for his own eating habits. "I bet that each burrito you eat takes one hour off of your life buddy". "Think about it pal".

"Really Hutch, are you ok?" Starsky sensed something was not right.

"Yeah, just beat. It's been a long week".

"Well, we got to get you some sun this weekend, your a little pale ya know".

If eyes could speak...but they didn't have to. Starsky knew what response he would get from that statement.

But Starsk was surprised when there was no rebuttal. This really worried him. No argument from Hutch was not a good sign.

"You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Starsk. We better get this day started so we can end it and get out of there for four days".

"Four days!" "Think we could squeeze any more time out of Dobey?"

"I think we already pushed our luck in getting the four we did". Hutch replied.

"Well, I'll take um. Its gonna be great Hutch! All those pretty ladies on the beach, dancing, dinner... and hey! Why don't you bring your guitar?"

Starsky was like a kid on Christmas Eve. He was too excited to notice that his partner was not.

The day was almost as uneventful as the day before. Hutch's fatigue turned into being down right lethargic. Starsky thought "not again", "every time we get some time off Hutch gets the flu, or we get called back into work, or..." The conversation that Starsky was having with himself was halted abruptly when he glanced over and saw that blood was dripping from Hutch's nose.

"Hey Hutch"! "You ok buddy"? Starsky pulled over to the side of the road.

"I'm ok, I just feel funny" said Hutch in a tired voice.

"What do you mean "funny"?

"I don't know Starsk"! Hutch snapped. "I'm just tired that's all".

Starsky took out his handkerchief and wiped at Hutch's nose.

"What are you doing Starsk"? Hutch tried to pull his head away. Starsky gently took his head in his hands and held it still for him to hold pressure to stop the bleeding.

"You got a nose bleed" Starsky said patiently and calmly, even though he was feeling a bit scared.

Hutch took the handkerchief from his partner and held it to his nose "I never had a nose bleed before Starsk". "What causes them"? There was fear present in Hutch's voice now too.

"I don't know babe". "Did you hit yourself"?

"No"

"You been having trouble with those allergies again"? Starsk inquired.

"No". "Its stopping I think". There was less blood on the handkerchief.

The pair went on with their day, not giving much regard to Hutch's early am problems. Hutch did seem to drag throughout the day though, and the fatigue was not getting any better. Starsky did mention that he thought it would be a good idea to let a doctor look at him just to make sure all was ok. Hutch retaliated hastily that Starsk was just being a worry wort and that he was ok. He was not going anywhere near a doctor or a hospital. Hutch still had so much fear of them both.

By five p.m. the two were signing out of work for the day. They decided to stop by the recreation center and have some fun with the kids. This seemed to perk Hutch up a bit, though Starsky was keeping a close eye on his partner. Something inside Starsky told him that something was wrong but he tried to shrug the feeling, knowing that is was just a habit for him to act as mother hen with Hutch.

They found themselves in a basketball game with some of the teenagers at the center. It was still hot, but they were having fun, enjoying every moment with the kids as much as with each other. Starsky and Hutch were on opposite teams. The kids just loved them both and felt safe with them around. They had grown to love the duo as much as the duo loved the kids.

Hutch felt dizzy and suddenly was unsteady on his feet. Starsky saw Hutch beginning to fall and caught him in his arms before gently assisting him to the ground. The basketball rolled away to the fence. The kids were scared, but Starsky was calm and gave them the responsibility of calling for an ambulance.

Hutch was very weak but fought Starsky about the ambulance. "I don't need an ambulance Starsk!" "I'm ok"!

"Hutch, you're not ok," Starsky said as he held him in his arms. "We just need to get you checked out to make sure". "I'm sure it won't take long buddy". "I'll be right there with you and I won't leave you ok"?

When Hutch did not answer, Starsky became really afraid. He looked down at his still partner and realized that Hutch must have passed out. He was trembling and his nose had started to bleed again.

Fear took over. "Did someone call a freakin' ambulance!!!!". "Come on buddy, can you hear me"? Starsky ordered for the kids to bring some ice, which they did immediately. Starsky thought that maybe the heat got to his partner. He was frantic with worry. He looked up to the sky as if in prayer that his friend would be ok and that this was nothing serious. "Tears welled up in his eyes. He had been so close to losing Hutch too many times before. He had no idea of what could be going on with him now.

"Please Hutch, here me babe...wake up for me will ya"? Starsky tried to cool him with come ice and dabbed at the blood oozing from his nose and waited as he heard the sirens of the ambulance.

Starsky rode to the hospital in the ambulance with Hutch. He was not about to let him out of his sight in his unresponsive condition. They were met at the emergency room by Dr. Danielle Taylor. Dr. Taylor was familiar with both detectives from previous visits they made to the ER. Seeing the concern, nearing panic, on Starsky's face, Dr. Taylor left Starsky go into the room with Hutch.

Hutch was moved from the ambulance gurney to the emergency room bed. This movement seemed to arouse him a bit. He still seemed somewhat disoriented, agitated, a bit short of breath and scared. He called for Starsky...

"I'm right here buddy." "Welcome back." "You really had me worried for a while there." "If you didn't want to play basketball all you had to do was say so." Starsky's attempt at making his partner smile had failed. "How ya feeling buddy"? Starsky asked.

"Starsk." "What happened"? "Why am I here"?

"Hey hey...." "Enough questions for now. Dr. Taylor is here and is going to take a look at you." "You had another nose bleed and passed out on me at the rec center."

Hutch was very pale and weak. His head was hurting along with just about everything else in his body. He felt he had gotten a bad case of the flu. Starsky was praying it was nothing more than a bad case of the flu.

The nurses worked hastily on their patient, taking vital signs, his temperature and getting him into a hospital gown. Hutch wanted to fight them on the latter, but Starsky was able to calm him. In reality, Hutch was too weak to fight the nurses or Starsky right now. He was just so tired and achy. Not knowing what the diagnosis would be on Hutch, the nurses put him on a heart monitor and a low level of oxygen. Hutch drifted in and out of consciousness. Starsky held his hand and kept talking to his partner even when it seemed that he could not hear him. Starsky needed to do this for himself. He didn't want to breakdown now, not as long as Hutch needed him.

"Hi Sergeant Starsky," a smile and concerned look came from Dr. Taylor.

"Please call me Dave". Starsky responded in his now shaky voice.

"I guess I know the two of you well enough to be on a first name basis by now." Dr. Taylor tried to relieve some of the tension she saw in Starsky's face. The gesture went by unnoticed as he looked back to his partner.

"Dave, can you tell me what happened"?

"I...I'm not sure." "He has been more tired than usual lately and then today he was just exhausted. His nose started to bleed this morning, but stopped. Then this afternoon when we were playing basketball he became dizzy and collapsed. His nose started bleeding again and he passed out on me." "Is he gonna be ok Doc"?

"Well, let me examine him and see what I can determine." "I am going to have some lab work done on him and possibly some other tests." "He is very pale, he could be anemic."

Dr. Taylor thoroughly examined Hutch and was surprised to see multiple black and blue marks over his entire body. She noticed a couple areas of petechiae (tiny red spots under the skin). She noted that Hutch also had some bleeding coming from his gums and that they were a bit swollen. She noted that her patient had some swelling of his lymph nodes and that he flinched a bit when she applied pressure to those areas. She ordered stat blood work to be drawn and wanted the heart monitor and oxygen to be continued. She also noted how weak Hutch was and that he had a mild fever. She was not happy with her findings.

Starsky went to call Dobey while Dr. Taylor was examining Hutch. He grabbed a cup of coffee figuring he was in for a long night with Hutch. Dobey was understanding and told Starsky to stay with Hutch, that he did not have to report to work on Friday. The normally grouchy Dobey felt deep concern for his detective and understood that Starsky was maybe hurting more emotionally than Hutch.

Starsky was exhausted mentally himself. He took a couple minutes to compose himself before going back into the room with Hutch. He wanted to be strong for his friend and knew the tears were about to spill. He sat in one of the empty cubicles of the ER and began to weep and pray for Hutch to be ok. He realized he must have been away longer than he thought when Dr. Taylor found him and stated that she wanted to talk to him in her office. Starsky felt his stomach fall when he saw the look on her face.

"Dave...please have a seat."

"Dave, I ran some stat blood work on Detective Hutchinson and found some other things that concern me."

(God no...this doesn't sound good...please leave him be ok, please God leave him be ok). Starsky was feeling his world fall apart.

"Dave"?

"Ye..yeah"...

"Dave, this is not easy for me and I know it will be harder for you, but most of all, this is going to be a rough road for Ken."

"Please just tell me what is going on with Hutch." Starsky was visibly trembling and his mouth was extremely dry. He felt kind of faint himself. "What is it Dr. Taylor"? "Is he anemic"?

"Dave, the blood test results came back showing an abnormally high level of white blood cells and a low level of platelets and red blood cells." "I am concerned with other findings also." "I want to admit Ken to the hospital and have him seen by an oncologist."

"An ONCOLOGIST!!!" Starsky's face went white. "Isn't that a ca..can...cancer doc...doctor"?... "He's just run down, we have been working really hard lately. He is a health nut Doc, something like this could not happen to him...(to us, he thought).

"Yes Dave, an oncologist is a doctor that specializes in treating cancer patients." "I want to rule out a diagnosis of Leukemia on Ken." "Leukemia is a cancer of the blood cells."

Starsky was in shock. "We were going to go on vacation this weekend," "We were just playing basketball," "We were just arguing about where to eat lunch." "How could this happen so fast"?

"This is not something that happened overnight Dave." "We will be looking into a possible etiology of Ken's condition and diagnosis." "Do you know anything at all about Ken's family history"?

"Oh... my God...Hutch's grandfather died when he was only six years old. He died of Leukemia."

Dr. Taylor continued..."We will want to do a bone marrow aspiration on Ken in order to make a positive diagnosis. We can do this as early as tomorrow morning."

Starsky could no longer hold back the tears. He sat in the office, put his head in his hands and sobbed. Dr. Taylor attempted to comfort him, but it was to no avail.

"I have to see Hutch." "My God...What am I going to tell him." "Oh God Hutch...Oh God....."

Hutch was moved to a regular room where he was given two pints of blood. The heart monitor was removed, but an IV was started into his left arm. The nurses were told by Dr. Taylor to let Starsky stay as long as he wanted. Starsky stayed with Hutch the entire night. Hutch was very weak and slept most of the time. Starsky was grateful for this. He did not know how in God's name he was going to tell his partner and friend what may be wrong with him. He knew Hutch was not going to take this well. He was given medicine for the fever and pain. Starsky had told Dr. Taylor of Hutch's experience with Forrest and she took that into consideration although she did tell Starsky that there may come a time when Hutch would need stronger medication for the pain.

Starsky pulled up a chair next to the bed where Hutch lay and took his right hand in his own. Hutch would wake halfway and call for Starsky. Starsky would stroke his hair and comfort him by reminding him that he was right there with him and that he should try and rest. Starsky was at a loss of what to say. He knew they did not lie to each other.

It was about two AM and Starsky was feeling very anxious as he looked at his restless partner. The night nurse came in to tend to Hutch and Starsky took this opportunity to take a short walk. He just walked with no destination in mind. He turned one corner, then another. He came upon the hospital chapel. He went in.

He looked at his surroundings in the chapel and took a seat in one of the pews.

"God, I know I have not been the best person and I don't know if you will even want to listen to me. I am not real good at this kind of thing, but I need Your help." "Hutch, my best friend is in real trouble. He may be fighting for his life. I am told he may have a disease that is fatal and I don't know how to tell him or how to help him. I don't know how to help myself either. I don't feel like I can go on without him God." "We are so close. I can't talk to anyone like I can Hutch. He understands me and I understand him. No one in my life has ever cared about me like he does. I can't even imagine life without him in it".

Starsky was unaware of his silent sobs and continued to pray as he wept.

"Hutch is such a good person God. Please spare him. Let this all be a mistake. God, let it be me...let me take his place. Hutch deserves to live. He has never hurt anyone and cares so much about others. He takes care of me when I am sick or in trouble and I need to take care of him. God, I'd do anything for him. I'll take his place if You'll let me. Please don't let him be in pain. This will take its toll emotionally as well on him. Please give me the words and strength to help him through this. He is so young and has so much to give to this world yet. Please don't take him now. I need him so much....Please....."

Starsky walked back to Hutch's room and sat beside him once again. He was glad to see that he was a bit less restless and had a little color in his cheeks. The nurse had informed Starsky that "Ken" should be more comfortable after the blood transfusions. Starsky sat back down in the chair and reached for his partner's hand. With both hands holding Hutch's right one, he put his head down on them. With eyes still moist, he fell asleep with his head on Hutch's bed and hand.

Starsky woke as he felt a gentle hand run its fingers through his hair.

"Hey sleepyhead" said Hutch in a weak voice.

Starsky realized that Hutch was awake and alert, which brought him back to reality immediately.

"You been sleeping like that all night"? "Your gonna get a stiff neck"...Hutch said to Starsky in a concerned voice.

It was just like Hutch to be worried about him, Starsky thought, while he is the one in the hospital bed.

Starsky looked up only to see Hutch's caring eyes upon him. They gazed at each other for about five seconds.

Starsky was more awake now and asked Hutch how he was feeling. Hutch said he felt a little bit better but was curious as to why he was in the hospital.

"I remember you telling me that I passed out on you Starsk." "I'm sorry buddy." "I think all the extra pressure we've been under at work and the heat just got to me."

Hutch did not remember receiving two pints of blood the night before and was also oblivious as to all the labwork that was run on him and did not even remember the IV being inserted into his arm. He surely would have put up a struggle if he had been more alert and in less of a delirious state.

He was most definitely unaware of Dr. Taylor's findings and Starsky knew it would not be long before he had to deliver this news to his friend.

This would be the hardest thing he ever had to tell Hutch. He thought that what happened with Gillian would have been the worst. He never even comprehended that he would have to have "this" conversation with the one who mattered most to him.

Starsky had persuaded Dr. Taylor to let him tell Hutch. He felt it was only the right thing to do, as he knew if things were turned around he would only want Hutch to tell him.

"Hey Starsk." "You ok"?

"Yeah, yeah...I'm ok"... Starsky said in a shaky voice.

Hutch responded, "Come on Starsk, lighten up, we have four days ahead of us at the beach!" "I just have to blow this joint and we're free."

Starsky moved to sit on the edge of the bed where Hutch was laying.

"Hutch"..."Listen to me buddy" (Starsky's heart was pounding so hard he thought it may jump out of his chest). "We're not gonna be going to the beach this weekend."

Starsky, still holding onto both of his partner's weak hands, put his head down, attempting not to let Hutch see the tears in his eyes.

"Why Starsk"? "What's going on"? "Don't start holding back on me now." "Come on Starsk, your scaring me".

Starsky looked up to once again see Hutch's eyes planted on his.

"Why are you crying Starsk"? Hutch was feeling confused and getting scared.

Starsky tried to collect himself. (How am I supposed to be strong for him when it gets bad if I can't be strong for him now?... Get it together David Starsky...He needs you now!).

Starsky seemed to gain strength from somewhere.

He began to give Hutch the explanation he deserved.

"Hutch, after you passed out at the rec center, you started bleeding from your nose again. You were kind of "out of it" when we got you to the ER. Dr. Danielle Taylor was here when you arrived. She took charge of your case and did a thorough exam, including some very sophisticated blood work. She told me that she found black and blue marks on you. Said you must be bruising real easy. She also found, among other things, that you were bleeding from your gums and that your lymph nodes were tender and swollen.

Hutch stopped Starsky at this point. "Starsky...what are you trying to tell me"? Hutch was afraid and felt himself begin to tremble again.

"Hutch, the blood tests showed that you are not anemic, but she told me that...that...." Starsky looked up at Hutch and gripped his shoulders.

Hutch was intelligent enough to know what his partner could not tell him.

"They think its Leukemia, don't they"? "Please Starsk...be honest with me." Tears were beginning to run down Hutch's face.

Starsky looked up again. "Yes Hutch...they think you may have Leukemia, but they are not positive. They have some more tests they want to run on you before...before...before they can make a definite diagnosis."

"I don't want anymore tests Starsky!!!" "People die from Leukemia!!!" "I don't want to be poked and prodded just to die anyway. I can't Starsk! I can't go through this!"

The color had once again drained from Hutch's face. He was visibly short of breath and shaking. "I'm gonna die Starsk". Hutch's tears turned into sobs. He reached for his partner to hold him.

"You're not going to die Hutch!" "They have new treatments for this. We're not in the dark ages anymore. Your gonna be ok buddy...I know your scared...I'm scared too."

Starsky held Hutch for a long time. Hutch cried over and over that, "It has to be a mistake...maybe they made a mistake...please let this be a mistake...." "I was only a little tired...everyone gets tired...and I was run down...that's all it is..." "Oh God, please let it be a mistake." Starsky just held his friend tighter, rocking back and forth a bit.

Hutch was feeling hopeless and desperate (as was Starsky). Starsky just wished he could find something to make his friend feel better.

Hutch finally fell asleep in Starsky's arms.

Starsky gently laid his partner back onto the bed and stepped outside of his room. He leaned back against the wall. He felt so alone. It was times like these that Hutch was there to be strong for him, to hold him and not let him fall. He wondered how much more his partner could take. He wondered how much more he could take. "This had to be all just on big nightmare" Starsky thought and wished.

A tall, middle aged man with premature silver hair, wearing a white overcoat went into Hutch's room. Starsky followed. The man was looking over a chart, flipping through the pages. He turned as Starsky stepped up beside him.

"Hello, you must be David Starsky? I am Dr. Andy McHale. I believe Dr. Taylor told you I would be stopping by to see your partner"?

"Are you the oncologist"? asked Starsky.

"Yes, that would be me". He smiled a gentle but confident smile. Starsky felt comfortable with him immediately.

"I'm here to examine and talk to Mr. Hutchinson."

"Please call him Ken, he'll feel more at ease."

"Ok, certainly."

"You are welcome to stay if you like," said Dr. McHale in a positive voice. "The nurses and Dr. Taylor both tell me that Ken is much more relaxed when you are with him." "I may need your help also." "What I have to share with your friend is not easy stuff to digest."

Starsky hated that Hutch had to be woken so soon, but he also knew how important it was for the Dr. to begin to treat Hutch.

Dr. McHale laid the chart on the bedside table and placed his hand on Hutch's wrist to take his pulse.

Hutch began to stir.

"Ken...Ken, can you hear me"? asked Dr. McHale.

Hutch opened his eyes and looked at the silver haired man.

"I'm Dr. McHale" he told Hutch. "I'm here to work with you and find out what is going on." "I need to examine you first and then ask you some questions. Then we'll talk about where we need to go with your treatment".

The exam was the usual physical type procedure. The Dr. wrote some notes in Hutch's chart. Dr. McHale then explained one of the many tests he wanted Hutch to have, including an explanation of the bone marrow aspiration procedure.

"I don't want any of your tests Dr." "Just please leave me alone. I don't want anything. Please, just go, its no use." Hutch was again weeping uncontrollably.

Starsky came to his partner's side in an attempt to calm him and comfort him.

"Hey Hutch." "Come on babe, the doctor just wants to help you. Please just hear him out Hutch."

Starsky asked Dr. McHale if he could leave Hutch and him alone for a bit.

The doctor understood and obliged. He was use to this type of reaction.

"Hutch," Starsky said in a bit more firm tone, "Ya gotta let yourself accept some help. You can't just give up!!""

"Why not! Why not Starsk?! I'm not gonna beat this thing and... and... I don't want to be a burden to you. I'm afraid of the pain. Oh God Starsky, I'm afraid of dying! I'm so sorry Starsk, Leukemia was just not in the plans." Hutch turned his head away from Starsky, crying, shaking and finding it harder to breathe.

"Hutch, come on now...calm down...I'm not going to leave you...no matter what, I'm gonna be at your side all the way with this thing. You know, I need you just as much as you need me. Please just try...for you...for me...for us".

Starsky was himself bawling at this point.

Hutch felt guilty, that until this point he did not realize what this must be doing to his partner. He was so concentrated on his own grief that he did not notice the agony his friend was in.

"Starsk"? "I'm so sorry buddy." "I wasn't thinking about what this was doing to you." "Please forgive me"? "I'll try..I'll try Starsk."

Both men exhausted, Starsky sat on the bed near the headboard. Hutch leaned back against him and with Starsky's arms around the front of him, they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

Dr. McHale spoke with Hutch and Starsky later that day. He explained that he wanted to treat Hutch aggressively with chemotherapy and also discussed other alternatives. He explained that the ideal and most effective treatment would be to find a donor for a bone marrow transplant.

Dr. McHale and Dr. Taylor assisted in performing the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. Hutch was given a mild tranquilizer to keep him calm during the procedure. The doctors' were aware of Hutch's fear of needles and in this procedure a large needle would need to be used in order to obtain the biopsy. Aside from the large needle, this test is usually uncomfortable and can be painful.

Starsky was able to stay by his partner's side to provide support and keep Hutch calm. He kept talking to his friend, rubbing his arm and back and left Hutch squeeze his hand as hard as he needed.

Hutch was grateful for Starsky's continuous support, realizing he would not get through this without him. He only wished he could do something for Starsky. He wondered when the last time was that his friend felt any happiness.

The results of the bone marrow biopsy came back positive as feared, making a positive diagnosis.

Hutch seemed to accept this news without expression. Starsky noted that he had become more withdrawn in the last 24 hours. He was unsure of what Hutch was thinking as he lay mostly quiet, just staring at the ceiling or out of the window. Starsky did not like this quietness. He knew that when Hutch went inside himself it usually meant he was very depressed (not that I wouldn't be too thought Starsky). Hutch was getting weaker and seemed to be resigning himself to the possibility of "not getting better," "not being able to be a cop again," "loss of his independence" and most of all, the "possible loss of his life."

The pain was becoming more significant and at times unbearable.

Starsky noted small things that really concerned him, like when Hutch didn't even fight off the pain medication offered, but actually asked for it.

Hutch agreed to let Starsky call his father now that a positive diagnosis had been made.

Huggy and Dobey came to visit Hutch late that afternoon and Starsky took that opportunity to go to his apartment to take a shower and change into some clean clothes. Huggy and Dobey were not prepared for what they saw. They saw their normally strong Hutch who was full of life, weak and lethargic, hooked up to IV's and oxygen. Starsky explained what was happening with Hutch's case and of the diagnosis. Huggy told Starsky he would stay with him until he was able to return. Starsky was relieved to have someone with Hutch in his short absence.

Starsky decided to call Mr. Hutchinson from his apartment. He needed time to think of the words to tell this man he may be losing his son. Starsky's eyes became moist again at the thought.

Starsky reminded Hutch that he would be back later that day and that Huggy was going to be with him for a while. He told Hutch that he would contact his father for him. Starsky ran his hand through Hutch's golden strands and told him to try and get some rest.

On the way home, Starsky decided to stop off at Hutch's place and pick up some things he thought Hutch may need. He gathered a few items. He collected some of Hutch's favorite music he had on tape and packed a small tape recorder for Hutch to listen to the tapes with. He grabbed a book that Hutch had sitting on his bed side table and saw some recipe cards with instructions on how to make Hutch's favorite protein shakes and a book on herbs that was laying nearby. As he was about to leave Hutch's place he became emotional. He thought of all the good times they had spent together there and silently prayed there would be more.

Starsky called Mr. Hutchinson shortly after he got back to his own apartment.

"Hello" said the elder Hutchinson.

"Hi Mr. Hutchinson, this is Dave, Dave Starsky."

Mr. Hutchinson could hear the concern in Starsky's voice. "What's wrong Dave?" Starsky was surprised at the respect he seemed to be getting from Hutch's dad. He knew he was not one of his favorite people.

"Mr. Hutchinson, I have something to tell you." "Ken is in the hospital."

"What happened!" exclaimed Mr. Hutchinson. "Was he hurt on the job?"

"No Sir, Hutch..he..Hutch is sick." "I don't know how else to tell you this except to just say it...Sir, Hutch...well, he got sick a couple days ago with a nose bleed and collapsed when we were playing basketball."

Mr. Hutchinson had a bad feeling and had a flashback of what happened to his father. He knew that the nose bleeds were one of the first signs...

"What is it Dave?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Sir, Hutch has Leukemia".

"Oh God...No." There was a silence on the other end of the phone.

"Sir." "He is very sick and in the hospital. They are doing everything they can for him and trying to keep him comfortable. They are going to start chemotherapy on him. He is getting the first dose tonight". "I'm going to be there with him."

"I'll be there as soon as I can get a flight." The normally stern Hutchinson sounded audibly disturbed. "You know, my father died of leukemia Dave?"

"I know." "Hutch will be glad to see you. He can use all the support he can get right now."

"Dave, thank you for being with my son and for being such a good friend to him."

"Yeah." Starsky was not ready for the kindness he was receiving from the older Hutch.

"I'll see you when you get here. He is at Memorial Hospital in room 211."

"Thanks again Dave, I'll be there soon."

The recipient of the phone call left the phone drop to the floor and sat on a chair nearby, where he began to weep.

Starsky arrived back at the hospital around five p.m. The nurses were just getting ready to administer the first dose of chemotherapy to Hutch. Hutch was looking scared and a look of relief came across his face as he saw his partner enter the room. Starsky pulled up a chair next to Hutch's bed and took his hand.

"Its gonna be ok babe."

"I'm scared Starsk." "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can...I'll be right here with you."

They exchanged a long look that spoke without words. Hutch knew that he had to try, not only for himself, but for his best friend. "Maybe miracles can happen?" Hutch whispered to Starsky.

"You bet buddy." "I'm sure of it." Starsky settled in for another long night.

The chemotherapy went into Hutch's arm as Starsky read to his friend and played some of Hutch's favorite music. The nurses left a cool basin of water on the bedside table and Starsky frequently wet the cloth with the cool water and wiped at Hutch's pale face, moist with fever. He gave Hutch ice chips to wet his mouth. There was nothing that this being would not do for his best friend ever.

A couple hours later, as Starsky was asleep in the chair next to the bed, he was awakened at the sound of a moaning Hutch.

He noted that Hutch's face was bright red and that he was shivering uncontrollably. He called for the nurse who took his temperature, which read 103.9 degrees. The nurse turned up the IV to hydrate Hutch and medicated him for the fever. Hutch was surrounded in ice packs and was sponge bathed by two other nurses. He started to become more alert.

"My head hurts"..."everything hurts"...Hutch cried..."and I think I'm gonna be sick"...

Before the nurses could grab a basin, Hutch began to vomit profusely. Starsky stood out of range of the nurses, feeling helpless and scared.

"Is he going to be ok?" Starsky asked nervously.

The nurses told him that this was a normal reaction to the chemo. Starsky found himself getting upset and did not know how Hutch would be able to tolerate future treatments.

Starsky walked outside Hutch's room. "Oh God...please let it stop." Starsky pleaded. "Let this whole damn thing go away!" "What did he ever do to deserve this?!" "Dammit, help him!!!"

While the nurses were taking care of Hutch, Starsky once again found the chapel. His words were angry. "Why God? Why? My partner is so sick and is losing ground fast. Are you going to take him away from me too!!!? "God, there has to be another way to help him...can't you see he can't take this!?" "Please...Please...there has to be another way." "I know you can help him if you want." "Please just let this senseless suffering stop and make him better." "Please...." Starsky just stood with his head down and once again wept silently, arms at his side, looking totally defeated.

Over the next couple days the chemotherapy depleted Hutch even more. He became severely weak, his fevers were high, the pain was bad. He was losing weight and continued to vomit.

Dr. McHale asked to see Starsky and Mr. Hutchinson in his office. He told them that the chemo treatments were too much for Hutch to handle and that he was going to have them discontinued. "Ken's only hope at this point is a bone marrow transplant." "Mr. Hutchinson, does Ken have any siblings?" "We must find a suitable donor who is a perfect match if Ken is to survive."

Both Starsky and the elder Hutchinson grew pale. "He has a sister in San Diego" replied Hutch's father.

Dr. McHale asked that he be tested and to get in contact with his daughter as soon as possible to be tested also. "There is a chance that a donor could come from outside the family, but this is rare."

Starsky spoke with Dobey, asking for help. He asked if Dobey could put word out that Hutch was in serious condition and to ask if their coworkers at the precinct would be tested. There was always a chance that someone would be a match for Hutch.

Starsky was the first to be tested. He felt like he had failed Hutch when he was not a match.

Mr. Hutchinson was not a match either. Hutch's sister was flying up from San Diego to be with her brother and to be tested as soon as possible.

Time was running out. Hutch was now too weak to even move himself in bed alone. He was in and out of consciousness. More out than in. He was very restless with the high fevers. The nurses inserted a foley catheter to monitor Hutch's output and to monitor for dehydration from the vomiting and lack of fluid intake.

Starsky just sat with Hutch for hours on end. Talking to him, stroking his hair, wiping his face and chest with a cold cloth. He continued to play Hutch's favorite music for him and even read to him, not knowing if his partner could hear him or not.

He was amazed that not only his precinct, but all of the LAPD were happily being tested to see if they could be a match for the transplant Hutch was in desperate need of. Starsky did not give up hope, even when Hutch's sister failed to be a match for him.

Mr. Hutchinson was deep in thought. Starsky knew this had to be very difficult for him. But there seemed to be something more bothering him. Starsky sensed a feeling of guilt emanating from the elder Hutchinson.

"Sir, are you ok?"

"No, Dave I am not ok." "I have something I need to share with you and Dr. McHale."

Hutch was running out of time fast. There was nothing more that could be done for him except to keep him comfortable. Starsky would not leave his side and hoped that Hutch did not sense his feelings of hopelessness and sadness. It seemed that a donor with a perfect match was not going be found in time, which was Hutch's last hope. He thought of Terry and how he what losing her did to him. He was only able to make it through that because of Hutch. What was he going to do now? Hutch would not be there to get him through this. Starsky felt that he would not be able to go on if something happened to Hutch. He was drained, exhausted and so lost. His world had fallen from beneath him and he had nothing to hold onto.

"What is it Sir?"

"I'd like to talk to you and the Dr. in private." "Please...its important."

"Ok," "I don't want to leave Hutch for too long though."

They found Dr. McHale and ushered him into his office. Mr. Hutchinson began to speak.

"I have never told anyone about this before, not even Ken's mother and Ken certainly does not know anything about this."

The elder Hutchinson went on. "When Ken was three years old, my marriage with his mother was not going well. I had an affair. At the time I thought what happened was the worst thing. Now in light of what is happening to Ken...well, I can see how God works in mysterious ways."

"What is it Sir?" demanded Starsky.

"I thought I loved this woman at the time but realized that Ken's mother meant more to me than I was aware."

Mr. Hutchinson looked Starsky straight in the eyes. "Dave, while I was seeing this woman, she became pregnant." "Ken has a twin sister and brother that he has never known about." I know Ken will be angry with me, but there is a chance that one of them could be a perfect match for the transplant." "I have sent them money continuously over the years and we do have a good relationship." "There mother married another man and he adopted the twins." "They don't know about Ken or his sister." "It will come as a shock to all, but I am going to contact them and plead with them if I must that they be tested." "They live in Colorado. I will pay for their flight to Los Angels and get them here as soon as possible."

Starsky just looked at the man he called "Sir" in awe. He found the story hard to believe, but felt hope. The first time he felt like Hutch had a chance in days. Instead of being angry with Hutch's dad for never telling Hutch about this, Starsky went over to him and gave him a big, thankful hug.

Mr. Hutchinson immediately called his estranged son and daughter. Their names were Katie and Jay. Both children were now 30 years old, married and had children of their own. He called Katie first. He explained that he needed her help and asked if she would fly to Los Angels if he paid the air fare. He told her it was very important and that he would explain in full when she arrived. Katie was easy going and a very caring person. She held a special place in her heart for her "real" father. She did not question him, but told him she would be happy to see him. The arrangements were made for her to be in Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon.

He then called his son Jay. Jay had a busy lifestyle and told his "real" father that he just could not get away. His father told him that it was very important that he come to be with him for a while. It seemed to be a losing battle in getting him to agree. Jay and his father often did not see eye to eye on many things. Maybe they were too much alike. Mr. Hutchinson had to tell him the truth. He told him how sorry he was for not telling him before that he had another brother and sister, but said the timing was never right and he didn't tell them for their own good. They had lives of their own and seemed happy. He did not want to disrupt that. In reality, it was the elder Hutchinson who was afraid to disrupt his own life. He told Jay that he had a brother who was three years older than he was and that he was fighting for his life. He said that he might be able to help him and pleaded with him to come. He told his son what hospital his brother was in and what room number. The conversation became heated as Jay was upset with his father for lying to him all these years. Jay got very upset and finally hung up on his father.

Meantime, Starsky sat close to Hutch, afraid to leave the room. Hutch slept most of the time now and had developed some complications. He had been given another blood transfusion and had an allergic reaction to it. His fever went even higher than usual, he became very restless and his heart rate climbed. He began to have severe difficulty breathing and his blood pressure fell to a dangerously low level in addition to his lungs becoming very congested. In his waking moments he called for Starsky over and over. Starsky was moved to the back of the room as the crash cart was moved ushered to Hutch's bedside. Several of the hospital personnel rushed into his room. Dr. McHale was there and gave stat orders of what to do. The transfusion was stopped immediately and a heart monitor was once again placed on Hutch. Diuretics were given in an attempt to help him breath easier. They worked on Hutch furiously. In about 15 minutes they had him stabilized although Dr. McHale told Starsky that Hutch was now in a very critical condition. He spoke with both Starsky and Mr. Hutchinson and asked what they wanted done if Hutch should cease to breathe.

Starsky lost his composure at this point. It was just getting to be too much. He could not believe they were talking about Hutch. His Hutch... He felt himself getting flushed and ran to the wastebasket where he lost any contents that were in his stomach.

Mr. Hutchinson put an arm around his son's partner and became the strength for both him and Hutch for the time. Mr. Hutchinson told Dr. McHale that he did not want his son to be kept alive by artificial means if there was no hope. He felt this would only be cruel and his son deserved more dignity than to be kept alive by machines. The Dr. noted the decision in Hutch's chart.

Starsky hurried back to Hutch's room and resumed his place by his friend's side. He held his hands and started to cry. He didn't care who heard or saw him. He then picked Hutch up in his arms and held him tightly, feeling that if he held on tight enough, no one could take his partner away from him, not even God.

Katie arrived on time and greeted her father in the hospital lobby. He told her of his history and that she had a sister and a brother, both who were born before he met their mother. He gave her all the details. Instead of Katie being upset with her father, she had understanding and compassion for him. He told her of Hutch and that he was in critical condition and of the bone marrow transplant that was crucial to his survival. Before she went to see her new brother, she went to be tested.

She then went to see this brother she had been kept from for so long. Starsky turned as a pretty blond walked into the room. She went over to Hutch's bedside and started talking to him. Starsky saw a resemblance between the two and felt connected to her somehow. She said, "You must be David Starsky?" Starsky rose to greet her. It was then that she told him who she was. She told Starsky that she heard wonderful things about him from her father and thanked him for going above and beyond for her brother. There was no malice in her voice or her actions. She had a very comforting demeanor and was able to calm Starsky in some strange way. She told him of how she believed in miracles and that he should not give up hope. "He's gonna be ok you know". Starsky was taken a back with her presence.

Mr. Hutchinson came into the room to find Starsky and Katie talking like they had known each other for a long time.

It was not too long before Dr. McHale arrived to deliver the unfortunate news that Katie was not a match for the transplant. Starsky was getting use to the worst now and just put his head down and closed his eyes. He didn't think there were anymore tears left when more started to roll down his face.

Hutch's breathing was becoming shallow and he was now totally unresponsive. Dr. McHale told Starsky, Mr. Hutchinson and Katie that Hutch's time was now limited, that he may not make it through the night.

Huggy and Dobey came to be with Starsky and to see Hutch, not knowing if it would be for the last time. Both knew that if Hutch did not make it through the night that Starsky was going to need an extreme amount of support.

Dr. McHale said he was sorry that Hutch's fate was now out of his hands.

It was about 8:30pm when a blond man entered the room. Starsky did not know who this man was or what he wanted. He thought he was starting to hallucinate as the man who entered the room looked very similar to his partner. It scared him.

Mr. Hutchinson rose to greet the blond man and gave him a hug. "Dave, this is my other son Jay".

"I'm sorry dad for giving you a hard time earlier. I thought about what you said and realized that nothing is more important than my family, new and old".

Jay went to the lab to be tested, then came back to Hutch's room to wait with the others. Jay just looked at his new brother who now lay motionless in the bed before him. He touched his hand and started to speak to him. He said, "Hi Ken, you don't know me yet, but I am your brother". "I hope I can help you". "Your gonna be ok you know". "You just hang in there, we are all right here with you".

Starsky could have sworn it was a healthy Hutch talking. Their actions were so much the same and their words of comfort so similar.

Dr. McHale entered the quiet room about an hour later. All eyes were on him, as they knew that Jay was Hutch's last chance and that the Dr. probably got the results by now.

Starsky held his breath as Dr. McHale told them all that Jay was a perfect match for Hutch and that with Jay's consent, they would be able to do the bone marrow transplant as soon as both men were prepped.

Starsky just shook his head, closed his eyes and thanked God.

All the preparations were made for Hutch to receive the bone marrow transplant from his new found brother Jay. The process was meticulous. Hutch's doctors worked fast and furiously to have the procedure completed as soon as possible, knowing that Hutch's body was starting to shut down and that in his weak state, even the transplant may not be enough to keep him alive. As soon as the team of doctors, Hutch and Jay were ready, they began what was the only hope of Hutch's survival.

A couple days passed. Hutch was still unresponsive, but his fever had come down a bit. He was being sustained by the IV's, oxygen and all the love one could ask for.

Starsky continued to talk to his partner. He began to assist the nurses in turning his friend in bed, continued the cool compresses, wet his mouth with ice chips, rubbed his back and gave him all the love possible from one friend to another.

On the fifth day after the transplant, as Starsky's head hung in sleep next to his friend's bed, he heard his name being called. He thought he heard Hutch calling him and took comfort in his dream of Hutch's soothing voice once again being heard. He startled awake to find that he was not dreaming, but Hutch was awake, looking into his partner's eyes.

"Hutch"! "Oh God, Hutch"! "Your awake! Thank God". "How are you feeling buddy"?

Hutch was still in a very weak state, but with all the strength he had, he reached up and put his hand on his partner's cheek.

"Am I still here"?

"Of course you are buddy". Starsky replied.

"I didn't die"?

"No babe...your right hear with me where you belong". "You made it buddy...we made it buddy". "Your gonna be ok Hutch". "Thank God, your gonna be just fine".

Hutch's weak hand fell back onto the bed. Starsky moved to sit on the bed with Hutch. He took his partner's head in his hands and kissed the top of his head. His greatest prayer had been answered.

"I know your weak now, but its going to be getting better from here on". "You've been through so much Hutch, but you are strong and I...I..am so glad to have you back".

With this, the tears began to roll down Starsky's face. "I love you Hutch".

"Don't cry Starsk". "I am going to be ok". "Right"?

Starsky reassured Hutch that he was on his way to recovery. It would be a long road, but his partner would be ok. Dr. McHale was pleased as he watched his patient gain strength through the next couple weeks. Hutch was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and caring from his friends and family. He got to know Katie and Jay better as they too showed their love for their new brother. Most of all, Starsky was there with Hutch all the way.

Starsky was so happy once again. He was afraid to let Hutch out of his sight for too long. They talked for hours on end, watched TV together and it made Starsky so happy when his Hutch once again began to argue with him about what channel they would watch. Starsky started to bring Hutch his favorite protein shakes a couple times a day and even tasted them when Hutch insisted he should drink them too, to stay healthy. The faces Starsky made at the taste of the shakes made Hutch laugh. It was so good to hear his partner laugh again. Starsky would have forced an entire shake down if that would make his friend laugh.

Hutch eventually gained enough strength to be discharged from the hospital and was released into his partner's care. Starsky would have it no other way. Starsky had even taken a leave of absence from work to be with his miracle. Hutch would of course have to follow up with his doctors on a regular basis, each visit getting further and further apart. Hutch was going to be ok. Starsky took care of him and as he gained strength, he began to take care of his partner who had been through so much too. Hutch could not imagine someone loving him so much. He definitely had a new outlook on life.

"Its Me and Thee again", Hutch said to Starsky as he gave his partner a big hug. "I wouldn't have made it without you being there for me all the way". The hug was returned as both were crying and laughing at the same time, out of happiness.

Hutch had beat the odds against time.

Note: I wanted to dedicate this story to my grandfather, Ken Kellenberger, who went to his final home on May 30, 1999. He died of Leukemia....

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