"Damn!" Hutch slammed the steering wheel with both fists. Traffic ahead of him had come to a standstill again. It was four thirty in the afternoon and he was in the middle of rushhour congestion. He cursed drivers ahead of him, cursed the traffic lights that dammed any fluid motion but most of all cursed himself for not thinking and driving into this mess. His mind hadn't been in clear working order when he'd jumped into his old LTD and raced out of the precinct parking lot. Captain Dobey had just finished telling him that Starsky had been hit by a car.
"Hit by a car?" Hutch gasped. "When?"
"Take it easy, Hutch," Dobey said, "He's alright, or at least they think he is..."
"They think he is? What happened?"
" He was over on 56th Street. Apparently he was about to get in his car when some young kid drove way too close and hit him. He was thrown to the the front of his car."
"What hospital did he go to?" Hutch asked desperately.
Dobey raised a hand. "Slow down. He's not at the hopsital - they took him to St. Edward's, but he walked out."
"He walked out..What do you mean?...Why the hell..."
"Hutch!" Dobey was becoming exasperated. "The sooner you let me finish the sooner you can go see him!" He took a deep breath and continued. "He was taken to St. Edward's Emergency. They did some tests on him and were waiting to do more when he walked..no, stumbled out on his own. They were waiting to take him in for a CT Scan but he didn't stick around long enough. I just talked to the attending doctor on the phone. He tried to talk him into staying, but he couldn't force him."
"Well, what did they say about him? What did he look like?"
"Apparently he's got some nasty cuts, he let them take care of those, going to have some big bruises too. But they're worried about any kind of internal damage. That's what they wanted to do the CT for - and keep an eye on him. He might be alright, they don't know. But they weren't through with him."
Hutch rubbed his face then asked in a low tone, "Cap, how come I'm just hearing about this now?"
Dobey glared at him. "How about because you've been away from your radio the last hour? Is that simple enough?"
Hutch dropped his eyes. He'd been sulking over a long lunch a block away from the precinct and had walked there and back.
"I don't know what your problem has been lately, Hutch, but you've been riding him pretty hard. You've been covering your cases separately - that's right, I know - and that ends right now. 'I' would have known a lot sooner if you'd been with him! Now get your miserable self over to his apartment and try to get him back to the hospital. And nicely, for a change!"
Hutch spun and headed out but stopped at the door and turned back.
"The kid who hit him. Did he stop?"
"Yeah," Dobey said, sitting down, " they said he feels real bad. He just got his licence. Dad's car. Friends in the backseat to impress. You know the story."
Hutch rubbed the sweat off his forehead, squinting hard at the cars all around him. He couldn't sit in this mess of traffic any longer. He reached for his cherry, turned the bright dome on and put it out on the roof of his car.
"Let's go!! Move it!" He yelled. Even though it seemed impossible for anyone to find the room to get out of his way, finally a small path did open up and with two wheels riding on the sidewalk Hutch manouvered his way off the busy streeet and into an alley. From there he turned onto a sidestreet and hit the gas.
"Shit!" He spat as he drove as quickly as he dared. In just a few days things that had spiralled from bad to worse just hit bottom.
It had started on the weekend. Hutch got dumped by his girlfriend, or
rather by his girlfriend's new boyfriend. He'd been seeing Kathy for over
two months and was growing more and more entranced with her. He missed
her company when they hadn't seen each other for more than a day. So he'd
decided to pay her a surprise visit on Saturday afternoon. When a strange
man with only shorts on, towelling his hair, answered the door Hutch
was for a moment lost for words. But when Kathy came to the door
to see who it was an awkward conversation soon escalated into a vicious
exchange of words.
Hutch had stopped just short of hitting the man who was taunting him to scram like a stray cat, while Kathy smirked behind him. He walked away infuriated and humiliated. That night he sat at home and drank beer in the dark until he passed out in his chair. Waking up Sunday with a banging headache he'd discovered he had no aspirin or anything like it in the house. He contemplated asking one of his neighbours for some but decided on driving to the drugstore. Four blocks from home his car stalled in the middle of an intersection. He waited over an hour to have it towed to a garage where he was told the mechanics wouldn't be in til the next day. Hutch cabbed it home in a very foul mood, still no aspirin and now no car.
When Starsky picked him up Monday morning he could see right away his partner was in very ill humour. He knew to tread softly.
"How was your weekend, or should I ask?"
"You shouldn't. Just drive, Starsk."
"Sure. Hey, I finally talked Susan into going out with me. I ran into her at the...."
"Look, I don't care. I'm not interested, okay?" Hutch snapped.
"Whatever." Starsky said, a little stung, and they continued the trip in silence.
At their desks Starsky tried once more to draw Hutch out of his sullen mood but was only met by more short, caustic remarks. A phone-call Hutch got a little later did nothing to improve his disposition. After a short conversation Starsky watched him slam down the receiver and slowly shake his head in anger.
"Bad news?"
Hutch looked up at his partner. The headache that had been swimming in and out since yesterday was treading its way back in.
"What else? That stinking car is going to cost me $300. It couldn't be anything simple."
Starsky smiled. "I told you that thing was going to be the end of you, I just didn't know it would be your pocketbook."
"Funny, Starsk." Hutch stood up and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. "Let's go. I just can't wait to spend all day listening to that fucking lousy sense of humour."
Hutch was out the door and Starsky slowly, reluctantly followed.
For the rest of the day and the next things didn't change. Hutch's temper
controlled everything he did or said. Where he showed impatience with co-workers
and the public, he held nothing back with his partner. Starsky, for his
part, tried to be understanding. Tried too hard, Dobey and the other men
in the squadroom thought as they watched the confrontations. Most
other partners would have given what they got by now. Dobey considered
pulling Hutch into his office a few times for a finger-wagging but held
back. He'd seen his detective in moods like this before, but never for
more than a day.
Starsky usually managed to eventually bring a smile to his partner's
scowling face. But this time Hutch's personality had taken a real U-turn
and Starsky was having a hard time keeping up.
Chapter Two
Wednesday morning the two partners drove in separately. Hutch had gotten his car from the garage the night before and had been handed a repair bill for over $340. The dark cloud that had been over his head dropped a little lower.
He poured himself a coffee and sat at his desk.
"Mornin'", he muttered to his partner who was bent over his typewriter.
Starsky put his hands in his lap and turned to look at Hutch.
"You got your car back okay?"
"Uh huh."
Starsky slowly nodded and looked away.
"Hutch?"
"Yeah, I know," Hutch replied, digging into his desk drawer for Aspirin, "you've been doing all the driving. Relax, Starksy, I'll goddamed make it up, okay?"
Starsky opened his mouth to say more then changed his mind and turned back to his work.
Before long Hutch was ridiculing the report Starsky handed him to co-sign. Instead of trying to placate his partner, as he had been, Starsky distractedly brushed him off. This morning he appeared deflated, beaten. His unknown cheering section, the other officers watching out of the corners of their eyes, were confused and almost a little disappointed. As much as everyone liked and admired Hutch they'd been waiting for Starsky to finally get mad, retaliate and end the blond man's inane behaviour.
Finishing their paperwork they set half an hour late to interview a robbery victim. On their way down the precinct hallway Starsky spoke up, trying to hide any desperation in his voice.
"Do you want to hit Huggy's after the shift? We could talk, you know...haven't had a cold one together for a while."
"No. I'm just going to head 'er out."
"How about just a fast one? Or, if you don't want to go to Huggy's I've got a six-pack in my fridge."
"Whoopee. I'll pass."
And Hutch strode ahead leaving Starsky once again in his disdainful wake.
After conducting their interview with the victim, a middle-aged woman who'd been the latest to suffer a rash of home invasions, they decided to grab lunch at a nearby diner. Sitting in the booth Hutch stabbed at his food, hungry or in a rush to be out of there, Starsky didn't know. He pushed his own meal around on the plate.
"You know, Hutch, for all that she went through, I guess she could count herself as lucky compared to the last two. Least she didn't spend time in the hospital."
"I wouldn't call her lucky."
"You know what I mean. I wonder if it's the same perps..they went a lot easier on her."
"Because she's the first one who didn't put up a fight."
"Yeah, probably." Starsky paused. "Listen, I, uh..."
"Are you going to yammer on or finish that? I don't want to sit in this grease-pit any longer than I have to."
Starsky sighed his hundredth sigh that week. He left his unwanted meal and they headed back to the precinct. They weren't back in the squadroom long at all when Dobey approached their desks.
"Got another one for you, boys. It's Russo and Maxwell's case, but they're backed right up." He handed Starsky sheet of paper. "Just talk to this Maureen Perkins and see if she can give you anything on her delightful son's whereabouts. He jumped bail yesterday on his assault charges."
"Sure, Cap." Starsky pulled his jacket back on.
"I'll meet you down at the car, Starsky." Hutch said. "I want to check the time sheets. My paycheque was screwed up."
Starsky was leaning on Hutch's car in the underground police garage when he raised his head to see Hutch stomping towards him.
"Where do you get off putting in for holidays in two weeks? You know that's when Gray's case goes to trial. What the hell did you go and do that for?"
Starsky straightened to face Hutch's latest barrage.
"I've got to go back to New York."
"Why?" Hutch snapped back.
"It's my mother's birthday. I've missed a lot since I ...."
"Your mother's birthday?! You're dumping that huge caseload to deliver on me because of a birthday?"
"I don't have a choice, Hutch."
"Yeah, you have a choice. Don't give me that crap."
Starsky's voice was low. "Just drop it."
"Oh well," Hutch said sarcastically, "sure, I'll just drop it. While I'm sitting on that court bench all week with the heaviest testimony we've had in a year you go on ahead. Go and have a fine fucking time blowing out candles with mommy."
Starsky glanced away. The dam he'd been struggling to hold was bursting and when he looked back his expression was hard and his voice menacing.
"I'm goin' because she asked me to. Because she's dying."
Hutch paused, not understanding. "Wha...what?"
"She's got cancer. It's everywhere."
"My God," Hutch whispered, "Oh my God...I'm sorry."
Starsky's eyes blazed. "Yeah, well, don't beat yourself up over it. Hasn't been your style lately."
He started to walk away when Hutch broke out of his reverie and grabbed his arm.
"Starsk, I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I tried!" He yelled, pulling his arm away. "But I haven't been able to open my mouth lately without you cutting in to tell me how shitty I make your life. What was I supposed to do, type you a letter?"
Hutch couldn't reply. His own behaviour had finally turned and slapped him in the face.
"So I'm goin'." Starsky sneered, belying the pain that had crept into his eyes. "For a week. It's sure be a fine fucking time."
"Starsk...I...I've been such an asshole."
"Yeah, you have." Starsky said as he started towards the garage exit.
"You go take care of that call by yourself. I'm goin' for a walk."
"Wait." Hutch began to follow him, but his partner stopped him with the look on his face.
"I don't owe you anything, Hutch. You leave me alone." And he was gone.
Hutch stood there for a long time. Finally, the blond man who'd been sharing his anger with everyone around him got into his car and drove off - with a new emotion that was all his to keep. Deep shame.