HUTCH'S HEART ACHES #4.....The Jacket.......
(Hutch's POV
Life after Gunther)

Starsky had been unusually quiet today. He was laying on the couch.

Something was obviously on his mind. I'd asked him if he felt ok.

I wanted to know if there was anything physically wrong that I should be worried about.......he didn't seem to be in anymore pain than usual but I had to satisfy myself.

"Hey, Buddy, You're not in any pain, are you?"

"Oh, no, Hutch, those magic pills you gave me are doing their job just fine. "I'm really ok".

"I was just thinking."

I told him that there was a first time for everything and he made a face at me and an obscene gesture with the middle finger of his left hand.

"Ha, Ha", very funny Blondie".

........................"Hutch, What happened to my jacket?"

'What?"........."Oh, Buddy, you mean the one that you were wearing when............................

"It was taken to the Evidence Room."

"They had to cut it off of you in the Trauma Centers ER."

"I didn't think you needed to see it like that, not that way."

"I didn't want you too, I still don't."

"I promise you I'll tell you anything you want to know Babe but somethings are better left unsaid, better left alone."

"Ok", he let out a sigh.

He turned his head with his face to the pillow on the couch so it was hard to make out his next few words. He muttered something.

"Starsky, what is it?"

"Come on now, something is still bothering you, now out with it."

"Talk to me."

"I want my jacket back Hutch."

He looked at me and smiled that crooked smile of his and shrugged  his shoulders.

Oh, Starsk, why didn't you ask for the moon, that would be easier to get I thought to myself.

He'd had that old relic for ages and my chances of finding another one just like it were slim to none.

"I'm sorry, Starsk, I really am but it's ruined, you know that."

"Hey,Blondie, forget it, I shouldn't have mentioned it, I'm just lucky to be alive."

I squeezed his shoulder on my  way to the bathroom.

..................

"Hey, Hutch, I think we got company, someone just drove up in the driveway and it looks like Dobey's car."

"Ok, I'll be out in a sec.........and you stay put, you don't need to be moving around a whole lot."

I opened the door to Captain Dovey, his wife Edith and his little girl Rosie.

Rosie sailed right past me to the couch where Starsky was.

"Hi, Honey", he said, "Whatcha got there?"

She had something behind her back which she now proudly presented to my partner.

"What's this?", he asked her.

"It's a present for you from my Mom and me and if you want you can share it with Uncle Hutch."

She handed Starsky a plastic plate with colorful homemade cookies on it.

The cookies had M and M's on them shaped into Smily Faces.

Starsky took the saran wrap off the cookies, offered me one and started in on  the plate of cookies. They didn't have a chance with him.

"Hey, Hutch, these are really good". I doubted I'd get more than one.

He motioned Rosie to come closer to him and kissed her on her  forehead.

She snuggled closer to him and kissed him back.

"Thanks so much Honey."

I know she expected him to hug her but he couldn't move that freely yet so she hugged him instead.

"I love you Uncle Starsky and I want you to get better soon so you can play trains with me again."

My partner could go from tough street cop to little boy in a blink of an eye.

He can be as tough as the job demanded or as tender as was needed.

His heart is as big as the ocean.

...............Matter of fact, until I met up with Starsky, I had never really known what being loved unconditionally meant.

...............................

The Dobey's stayed for a good while.........my partner and Rosie ate cookies and drank milk and ignored the rest of us, they were in their own little world.

When I did glance over at the couch much later what I saw melted my heart and made me smile.

Rosie and Starsk were cuddled  up together on the couch side-by-side.

They were fast asleep.

There was an empty plate on the coffee table  where the cookies had been.

Captain Dobey picked up Rosie from the couch and with a silent, "See Ya later", left with his family.

I looked at Starsky........he was sound asleep. Normally I would have left him on the couch to wake up on his own but because of his  numerous injuries I really wanted to get him to bed where he would be more comfortable and warm.

I thought about waking him up but I didn't have the heart too, so I hefted him up in my arms and carried him into his bedroom.

I got him out of his shirt and jeans and into some pajamas without even waking him up.

He was out for the count.

I was getting pretty good at taking care of him and it always gave me a good feeling knowing that I could help him.

I covered him up, turned the light out and went to bed myself.

I wasn't asleep long before I woke up in the middle of the night to hear Starsky yelling, pleading........."NO,NO, he can't be dead.!

"He can't be dead.!

I shook him gently to wake him up........damn another nightmare about the shooting.......but something was different this time.

A lot different.

"Please , somebody help my Daddy!.

Oh, God, he was having a nightmare about his Dad being killed and to him this must have been far worse then him getting shot.

When he woke up he reached for me, grabbed me around the waist and held on.........."Oh, Hutch, my Dad, my Dad.

....................Why should this man, this incredibly gentle man with a such a loving heart have to suffer like this.

"Hutch, stay with me, don't go.........please."

"Aww, Starsk, I'm not going anywhere."

'I'm right here, right here."

He was gulping for each breath.

"Hey, Buddy, your lungs can't take too much more of this, you have to try to relax."

"Come on, can you try to relax for me?"

"Come on now."

I felt him nod against my shoulder and I rubbed the back of his neck to try to calm him down some more.

I had to settle his breathing down and soon. This was not good for him.

His Doctor had warned me about Starsky exerting himself too much, his left lung would take a long time to heal.

"Hutch, my Dad got shot too, but he died."

"Why, why did God spare me?"

"Why not him too?"

I had no answers to give him.

"I miss my Dad, Hutch, after all these years I still miss him so much, it hurts."

It was twenty years to the day that his father had been shot down in front of him. A sixteen year old boy had watched his father die right their on the streets in front of his house.

It was always a hard day for Starsky.

He would always call his Mom and talk with her...........he'd send her a pretty bouquet of flowers and she would keep some in her apartment and the others she would take to her husband's grave as a gift from his son.

I would stick as close to my friend as possible on this day, make sure he knew that I was there for him.

I'd give Starsky anything, do anything for him. Anything that would help to fill the empty void that his Dad's death left him with,
especially on this day.

I couldn't give him back all the fatherless years he'd lost but I could and would be here now for him.

And to top it all off, this year, Starsky was the same age that his Dad had been when he had been killed.

Starsky has been through so much in his life.

The loss of his Dad, getting shipped out to California to live with his Aunt and Uncle............His Mom three thousand miles away.

Then the one lady that he really had a chance for happiness with.

Terri had been cruely taken from him.

................And this past year, tossing out our badges, then taking them back..........that whole ugly mess with Kira and then...........the shooting.

They say God only gives you as much as you can handle, I sure hope that's true because my friend has about reached his limits.

I stayed with Starsky that night because I didn't have the heart to leave him alone right now.

He finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

I looked at Starsky, he was still so pale looking, my heart went out to him.

I wished there was something I could do for him.

..............If I could only find him another jacket just like the old one.

I sure as hell was going to give it a try.

And Huggy helped me out by staying with Starsky for a few hours each afternoon.

As far as my partner knew I was running errands and checking in at the station during that time.

He had no idea what I was up too.

One afternoon while walking Huggy out to his car after another one of my unsucessful  trips looking for "The Jacket", Huggy asked me if there was still a label in the jacket.

He knew that it hadn't been destroyed, that it was part of the  evidence package to be used in the Gunter Trial.

He said that the label might help, might give me a name or something.

"Damn, Hug, why didn't I think of that?"

The following afternoon I checked the jacket out of the evidence room at Parker Center.

I didn't realize what it would do to me to see the jacket again.......it brougt back everything about that day.....................

......................The Ping Pong game.......................

The bet I lost..........

Starsky beginning to unlock the car door.............the screeching of tires.............the grating sound of metal against metal..................the black and white..................

The AUTOMATIC WEAPON aimed at us.............................

"STARSKY, GET DOWN"!!!!!............Gunfire.........

A strangled cry of "Hutch." ..............Again, STARSKY!!!!!!!!............No answer............

My whole being going numb..........tearing around to the other side of the car................Oh,my God, NO!, NO!!!!!!!!

The magum falling from my hand.................

I knelt down beside Starsky seeing all the blood,"Starsky's blood".......

Blood running out on to the parking garage floor.......So much blood....too much blood.

Oh, God, not this way.

"Someone get an ambulance!"

"I'm here, Starsk.

"Buddy, just hold on, keep on breathing, helps coming..........Hutch is here."

"Pleaasee, just hang on."

I'm holding his limp hand in mine, my other hand cradling his head...

He's starting to choke on his own blood..............................

..............................

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I was in the Evidence Room at Parker Center.

Minnie from the Traffic Divsion was standing next to me with a worried look on her face.

"Hutch Honey, are you all right, you're shaking." "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

She looked at the jacket in my hands. "Oh, God, isn't that Starsky's?"

"The one he...............................

"Yea, Oh, Minnie, I didn't think it could get to me like this."

"I mean he's at home, getting better, he is going to be ok."

"Minnie would you mind putting it back for me.........I......I just.....

"Sure, Honey, I'll take care of it."  "Now you get out of here".

You don't look so good."

"Wait Minnie, is there a label still in it?"

"I mean besides the label with the size on it?"

She looked at me but didn't ask any questions,"Yea you can barely see it but I think it says"Pacific Ocean Leather Works", Santa Monica Boulevard."

Yes.

I bent down and kissed Minnie, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."

I went to my desk and looked up "Pacific Ocean Leather Works"

I was in luck, they were still listed and they had a store a short ways from Parker Center.

Within an hour I had "The Starsky Jacket".

..................

Since Starsky was kind of bummed about his old jacket and still had his Dad on his mind I decided to give him the jacket now and not wait for his birthday.

"Hey, Partner, I got something here for you."

His eyes lit up.

"You do?"

I handed him the box with the jacket in it. He lifted the lid of the box pulled off the tissue paper covering the jacket.

"It's my jacket."

"It's beautiful, You're beautiful, it's exactly like my old one, Hutch how did you find one just like it?"

I thought about the flashback in the Evidence Room..........."Dirtball,

Don't ask so many questions."

"Why don't you try it on".

I helped Starsky up off the couch and into the jacket.

He tugged on my arm wanting me to come closer to him. He hugged me the best he could and leaned heavily against me for support.

"Hutch, I wish I could talk to my Dad just on e more time so I could tell him about you, about "Me and Thee."

"I think he knows Starsk, I think he knows."

The End