I was finally home from the hospital after a very long and painful two months.
I couldn't do much.....Gunther's bullets really did a number on my insides.
I still had that almost constant if not varying degrees of pain in my chest and abdomen. The exit wounds in my back still felt like dull aches too. All in all I did the best I could dealing with the pain, especially for Hutch's sake. At times I believe he feels my pain with more intensity then even I do.
Boy, that day didn't start off all that great, actually it started out down right lousy.
The day that I was discharged from the hospital there were a group of reporters waiting for us, they wanted comments from me, as they put it ...."The Cop That Defied Death".
When Hutch saw them I thought he was going to go ballistic. He was livid with anger. He tore into them, at the same time stepping in front of me, shielding me from their persistent questions and prying eyes.
To this day I'll never forget what he said or how he said it.
He said in the most cold and deadly voice that I have ever heard him use....
"Get away from us!"
"Get away from me and get away from my partner or I will make all of you sorry you were ever born!"
They quickly and silently cleared a path for us and Hutch wheeled me to the car and helped me out of the wheelchair and into the seat of the car.
"Those bastards, I'd like to kill each and everyone of them", he said to me.
There was still so much anger in his voice that all I did was look at him, I said nothing.
When he saw the look on my face he shifted gears immediately and turned into
"My Hutch"..............gentle, loving, caring and protecting.
"Sorry, Buddy, but they really got to me."
"God knows you have so much to deal with already, I just want to take you home and keep you safe, you've suffered too damn much."
"Hey, Hutch".
I put my hand on his shoulder and waited until I had his attention.
"Thank you for being you and caring for me the way you do............no one cares about me or loves me more than you do........believe me, I know that, so......please Let's just go on home Blondie.......forget those clowns".
"We both need to start healing".
These are my Dr's orders upon release from the hospital:
For the first few weeks I was to get up only to go to the john and to lie on the couch for a few hours each day.
Absolutely no bending, no stretching..........but really, no one had to tell me not to try these last two things.
Any attempt I made at almost any kind of movement still sent waves of pain radiating throughout my body.
But there were more orders, no stairs unless absolutely necessary. He told me not to try getting in or out of bed without help.
He didn't want me to be left alone even to bathe myself and if I hadn't realized by now just how severe my injuries were all these instructions and or restrictions brought it all home to me crystal clear.
The Dr . had told Hutch that I could not stand much stress so he played interference for me.
He screened my phone calls, my visitors and my mail.
He put his life "on hold" for me.
He almost lost it the day that my bank called me and told me I was 2 days late on a personal loan I had with them.
It upset me a lot.
Under normal circumstances I would have just blown them off and made a note to myself to remember to bring the payment in the next day or so.
But with all the drugs I was taking my emotions got the best of me.
I had been lying on the couch watching the "Planet of the Apes" movie marathon and sipping on a rootbeer shake that Hutch had just brought me from the DQ.
He was putting away groceries when the phone rang so I answered it.
He had made sure it was easily within my reach for the short time it took him to go to the store. He absolutely hated leaving me alone even for such a short time.
He looked over at me and I guess he detected a tremor in my voice.
He was by my side at the couch in an instant. He took the phone from me and asked, "Who is this?"
When the man identified himself Hutch lowered his voice and in one of the most deadly tones that I can remember he dismissed the caller and told him if he ever called here again and upset me he'd go down to that bank and make the man wish he'd never been born.
The conversation was terminated at that point, and I don't know if it was from Hutch's end or the poor "unfortunate soul" at the other end. I had no doubt that would be the last I'd hear from them.
He looked at me and placed his hand on my shoulder and gently massaged the back of my neck with his other hand.
How gentle he was with me, but how deadly he had just been with that unfortunate sap from the bank.
The massages Hutch gave me helped the constant ache in my chest and stomach.
I had some back pain too and the massages were the only thing that helped there too.
Hutch seemed to instinctively know what it was I needed.
I had been given a choice to have a live-in nurse after I got home from the hospital but Hutch told the Dr. that was out of the question.
"I am going to be the one to take care of Starsky and no one else".
"He has been through hell the last two months."
"I'll learn whatever I need to know to help him."
"He needs more than just a nurse, he needs peace and quiet and somebody that cares about him".
He must have forgotten for a second that I was there in the room too, because he said"I'll move Heaven and Earth for Starsky".
"With me he's not just another patient recuperating".
HUtch was going to be there for me and God knows I needed him, his love, and his support. I was terrified of what lay ahead and Hutch was my barrier against that terror.
He was also my hope for my future. He corrected me on that one.........
"It's "our" future, partner. Our Future".
Always has been just "Me and Thee".
We will survive this, I know that now.
But, Oh, those damn pills........................
Anitbiotics, blood thinners, pain killers.................
The kitchen counter looked like a mini pharmacy.
He made sure I took my pills on time and he was there when some of those pills made me sick as a dog.
He would hold me so gently when all I could do was throw up and then throw up some more.
He would wipe my face, clean me up as best he could and settle me down in bed.
It hurt me so bad from those bouts of heaving my guts out that he'd sit down beside me on my bed and rub my back with one hand and the other would massage my chest and abdomen. He would do it for as long as I needed him too.
When you've been all shot up and stitched back together like I was it hurt like hell to get sick like I did.
I remember the day I started on this one particular blood thinner.
Neither one of us was prepared for the nasty reaction I would have.
We had just finished dinner and Hutch was washing the dishes and I was lying on the couch watching the nightly news.
He had given me the pills before we ate. Take it from an expert most of these damn pills you do not want to take on an empty stomach.
Ask me, I'm getting to be an expert.
All of a sudden I started feeling bad, I started to shake all over and I couldn't stop.
It felt like the temperature in the room had dropped 20 degrees, I was so cold.
Hutch looked over at me and he instantly knew that something was very wrong.
I couldn't stop the shakes and I was so cold.
I hurt all over.
He dried his hands on his jeans and hurried over to me and leaned down beside me by the couch.
"Hey, Buddy, talk to me".
"Tell me whats wrong".
I could hardly talk I was shaking so bad.
"Can't stop shaking". I told him and I'm so cold, so cold.
He helped me to sit partially up on the couch and I used him as a pillow to lean back on.
"Oh, Hutch, I'm so cold".
He grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch and wrapped me up in it and he wrapped his arms around it and me, and he just held me until the shaking stopped.
Eventually I started to warm up some.
"You, OK? now he asked?"
I nodded my head.
He looked at me and when he was convinced things were getting better he reached for the phone and dialed my Dr's emergency number. He left a message.
We got a call back a few minutes later from Dr. Kellerman. After Hutch told him what had happened he confirmed what Hutch and I had suspected, I just couldn't take this particular drug............so tomorrow we'd try another one.
The next day Dr. Kellerman's head nurse, Maryanne who had been my main nurse at the hospital called to see how I was doing and to tell me that another prescription would be waiting at my pharmacy.
I was to throw away those other pills.
No problem, Hutch had tossed them already last night.
Hey come to think of it when I turned down that offer of part time nursing help I still sometimes wonder if it might have proved interesting at times.
Just a thought, I told myself.
I was so wacked out on drugs that even if my mind could remember what it was that my body wanted to do my body wouldn't be able to pull it off................that particular part of my anatomy was still in a coma......damn those pills.
Oh, but a guy can dream, can't he?
When I told Hutch what I had been thinking he said, "Well you must be getting better, pal".
On to something much lighter and to me downright funny..........and you notice I said funny to "me", not to Hutch.
Dr, Kellerman was concerned about how much weight I'd lost from the
shooting and during this particular Dr's visit he's suggested to Hutch
and me that the fastest way for me to start gaining some of that weight
back was for me to eat anything
that I wanted.
I damn near lost it right then and there because the look on Hutch's face was priceless.
"Oh, God, he said and shook his head and groaned".
"Doc, do you know what you just said?"
Dr. Kellerman gave him a questioning look.
I on the other hand just sat there looking like the "Curly haired Cherub" that I am.
Hutch glared at me and I knew that look meant............."Don't you say a word".
I didn't.
I put on the most innocent face I could manage.
"Let him eat anything he wants".
Hutch just shook his head.
"Cold pizza, root beer, tacos, burritos, enchiladas..........ice cream, cookies....oreos, the double-stuff ones", I said to no one in particular.
"Doc, Hutch said, You just don''t know how bad his eating habits are".
Then he looked over at me and said. "Ya, know, Starsk I think you are enjoying all this. I had a very contrite look on my face or so I hoped.
Well at least for the mean while until I had gained some weight back I was getting a reprieve from those God awful dessicated liver, goats milk health shakes that Blondie was planning to feed me.
And now that I am home and on the road to recovery I know that there are many an obstacle ahead of me, and I don't want to face them just yet.
I'm just glad to be alive.
And I am a stubborn SOB just ask my partner, he's told me enough times.
And I know now that I will survive this, Hutch won't let me give up.
So what if I can't jump over all those obstacles he says, "Starsk, then 'We" will just go around them".
We'll tackle any problems if and when they come up and the "Me and Thee" team will tackle them together.
So we will continue to travel the road together, secure in our past and confident of God's promise for our future.
THE END
P.S. Happy New Year Blondie,
Love Starsk
Happy New Year to you too, Gordo,
Love Hutch