..................
Starsky's Thoughts #9: Rx for Starsky........
We left the Dr's office; Hutch helped me into the car and reached around me to fasten my seat belt for me.
I still couldn't do something as simple as that because I could not lift my arms up that far and twist around like that to reach for the seat belt......it just hurt too much.
Hutch got in the driver's seat and we drove away from the Doctor's.
I looked at the prescription slips that I held in my hand.
Dr. Kellerman had changed two of them to lower dosages, discontinued one of them that I had been taking but gave me yet another one to replace that one.
It kinda depressed me to think of all the medicine I was still taking and would be taking for a long time to come.
Hutch picked up on my thoughts, he knew me so well.
"Hey Partner, you're getting there, we just have to give it time."
"Dr. Kellerman is really pleased with the progress you're making."
He glanced over at me.
"Yea, I guess, now I can walk across the room without falling flat on my face.......damn, I'm just so tired of this, I just want to get better."
"I want things to be like they were for us Hutch, I miss that."
Hutch's hand reached across the seat of the car and found mine.
He squeezed it gently.
"Starsk, there will always be an 'us'."
"That's not gonna every change, because we're not gonna let it."
(How did he always know just the right thing to say to me)
"I know Partner, and I believe you."
"Starsk we need to fill those prescriptions you have there."
"I'll take you home and go back out to the pharmacy."
"Should take me less than an hour and in the meantime you can stretch out on the couch and take a nap, rest some."
"I got a better idea, why can't I come with you to the pharmacy?"
"Hutch?"..........
"I don't know if that's such a good idea Starsk."
"You haven't rested since breakfast."
"Aww,come on Hutch......you just said it would take less than an hour.......and I never get to go anywhere but to the Doctor's office and home.........pleesseeeee?"
(Ok, David Michael Starsky, gonna have to pour it on thick here.....he could still just take you straight home and you couldn't do a damn thing about it)
"Hutch, I want to go 'with' you." "Come on, say yes, please?"
"Oh all right, but just to the pharmacy and then straight home and no 'other' side trips Gordo, so don't even try."
(Good, I still knew how to get to Blondie)
"Yes Mom, I promise to be good."
I gave him my best smile.
He just smiled back at me and shook his head.
"You know Starsk, one of these days I'll learn how to say 'no' to you."
(Not if I can help it, I thought to myself, I was barely able to hide another smile threathening to break out on my face)
Hutch found a parking space fairly close to the front of the pharmacy.
He let me set the pace from the parking lot to the store.
I remembered my Grandmother walking like this, but she was over eighty years old, I wasn't even forty yet and I felt like an old man.
I welcomed the arm that came to settle around my waist, I put mine on top of his for support.
Hutch had his other arm under my left elbow.
All of a sudden the store looked like a million miles away from the parking lot.
"Starsk, if you need to stop just say so, you hear me?"
"We'll just take our time."
"I will Hutch, I will......just please hang on to me ok?"
"You bet, Partner.......don't intend to let go......not now....not ever."
Anytime that I walked more than a few feet at a time I was reminded of just how much damage my body had sustained.
I could feel every stitch, every incision and every bullet would, felt like razor sharp knives pushing and pulling at my skin, digging deep into my body........
It was a blinding sort of pain, at times it almost made me pass out, it was so raw and so acute to the point of taking my breath away.
And then there was my lung that had been blasted apart by the bullets impact, it had been stitched back together but it was still a major concern, it was so slow in healing and I got winded so damn fast. I was already feeling this way after only a short distance from the car.
Damn this, I was already almost out of breath and I knew I needed to stop for a minute or so to help my breathing.
"Hutch, can you give me a minute, please?"
I could feel the sweat on my brow and I knew that Hutch saw it too.
"Sure, Buddy, lean into me and let me take most of your weight, ok?"
"Starsk, maybe we should go back to the car......I'll take you.........
I interrupted him before he could finish.
"No!, no!, dammit Hutch, I can do this."
We stood in the parking lot and I leaned back into Hutch and closed my eyes, we probably stood there like that for a good four or five minutes before I felt like the lights weren't going to go out on me and my legs would hold me up on their own.
I would not admit to Hutch, but maybe this wasn't one of my better ideas.
So before I lost my nerve, I said.
"Let's go Blondie, it's now or never Swweethart."
In a quiet and compassionate voice Hutch said to me.
"You sure Babe, you don't have to prove anything to me, you know that."
"Yea, I know that, but it's not you I want to prove something to, it's me Hutch, I have to try."
He shook his head at me.
"You can be so stubborn at times, you know that, what am I gonna do with you, huh?"
"Got that from you, Hutchinson."
...........
...........
By the time we reached the pharmacy window I was looking around for a place to sit down.
I saw a row of chairs that were for pharmacy customers who were waiting for their prescriptions to be filled.
I was more than grateful to see a few empty ones.
I dug the prescription slips out of my shirt pocket and placed them on the counter.
The pharmacist looked at the name on the prescriptions.
"Well, well, so I finally get to meet you, David."
"My name's Ben."
"This is a pleasure David, I've gotten to know your partner here quite well these last couple of months."
"Glad to see you up and around again, how are you doing?"
(I couldn't tell him the turth, that I was beginning to feel lightheaded and my legs were slowly but surely dissolving into jello)
"Nice to meet you Ben, I'm getting there.......thanks to Blondie here.....he won't let me lift a finger, does everything for me."
"If it weren't for him I wouldn't be here today."
Hutch was standing behind me.
I felt his hands gently settling on my shoulders.
"He's a fighter Ben, He'll be just fine, I just have to keep convincing him to give it time."
"I'm real proud of this guy."
Hutch squeezed my shoulders.
I liked all this chit chat but by now I really 'needed' to sit down for a while.
I nodded at the prescription slips.
"Need to get these filled."
"David are you sure you're all right?"
"Why don't you sit down in one of those chairs over there." Ben said.
Hutch's concern for me was instant.
He moved his arms from around my shoulders and put his arms under my arms and stood behind me supporting most of my weight.
I knew he could feel my body shaking.
"Oh, God, Starsk, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking...you should be sitting down not standing here like this."
"Come on Buddy."
He helped me over to the nearest chair and sat me down in it.
I was grateful to be off my feet.
My stomach was suddenly doing flip-flops from all the exertion.
"Starsk?"
Hutch really looked worried now.
"Can I have a drink Hutch, I feel kinda sick to my stomach?"
"A soda, can you get me a soda?"
"Sure Babe, just take me a minute, I'll get you one.......just stay put, ok?"
"I ain't going no where." I told him.
He patted my arm.
"Ben, would you make sure he's ok until I get back?"
"I need to get him a drink."
The pharmacist came from behind the counter after handing his assistant my prescriptions.
"Sure Ken, go get the drink."
Hutch sprinted off in the direction of the drink machine.
"I'm surprised Ken let you come here with him." Ben said.
"I didn't think you would be up to much walking, Ken said you just got out of the hospital a little over a month ago."
"It wasn't his idea, I talked him into it, dumb huh?"
I looked up at the pharmacist.
"Just wanted to do something sort of 'normal' again, I'm so tired of feeling so bad all the time, and this has been so hard on Hutch.....always being there for me."
"Won't let anyone else stay with me, thinks he's the only one that can take care of me."
"Truth is, no one takes better care of me than he does."
"But sometimes I wish he could get a break from all of this."
"He's got no life outside of taking care of me."
Ben looked at me.
"That may be true David, but from what I know about Ken he wouldn't have it any other way."
"You mean the world to him, David, I know that much."
"Everytime he is in here all he does is talk about "Starsk this, and Starsk that." "Or "What the two of you are gonna do when you get better."
"It's always 'us' this or 'we' are gonna do this."
"Sure this is rough on him but it would be even rougher on him if he didn't have a way to help you through this, I don't think he could handle that."
"David, do you know that when he comes in here he tells me about the progress that you are making, no matter how small it may be whatever new thing that you are able to do again the man's face lights up when he talks about it."
........
........
I saw Hutch hurrying back to us.
He crouched down in front of my chair.
"Here Starsk, got you a root beer."
He popped the top on the can for me and handed me the drink; putting it in my shaky hands wrapping his hand around my two.
That kept me from spilling the drink.
The root beer did help settle my stomach.
Hutch just stayed crouched down in front of me watching me sip the drink.
"Hey, you feeling any better now?"
"Did the drink help?"
I smiled at him.
"Yea the drink helped." "Thanks partner."
"I didn't mean to scare you like that, but all of a sudden I just felt really lousy and my legs felt like jello."
Hutch got up and sat down in the chair next to me.
He put his arm around my shoulders.
"So glad you're here with me, Starsk, just so glad."
When he looked over at me I could see the barely contained tears in his eyes.
"Glad I'm here too partner."
Hutch slowly shook his head.
"I just want to help you get well again Starsk, it is so hard seeing you hurt like this.......and there is so little I can do about it."
I offered him the root beer.
He took a few sips and handed it back to me.
I leaned my head back against Hutch's arm.
I felt safe and secure and I damn sure felt loved.
In a few minutes Ben had the prescriptions ready for me.
Hutch helped me out of the chair and over to the window at the counter.
I reached for my wallet.
"How much this time?" I asked Ben.
When he told me the total my heart sank, I didn't have to look in my wallet to know that I didn't have close to that much in it.
I leaned against the counter and shook my head......"I.......I....do you think maybe you can give me just enough pills for now........"
Hutch cut me off.
"Starsk, it's ok."
"Ben, 'we've' got it covered."
Hutch took his wallet out.
I pushed mine in his direction.
I watched as he took some bills out of my wallet slide it back over in front of me and reached into his own wallet for the rest of the money.
"Here you go Ben, this should do it."
I didn't even have enough money these days to pay for my own prescriptions........oh, sure I would get most of it back when I filed the medical claims forms but for now........this really sucked.
Hutch knew what was going through my mind.
"Starsk, it's ok, it really is.......no big thing."
I could barely choke out the words, "Thank you partner."
..........
..........
The pharmacist filled my prescriptions, different sizes and colors of pills, different size bottles......there were these and there would be more of these to come........but the one prescription that couldn't be dispensed was standing right beside me.
Hutch was truly the only prescription that I could not do without, the only one that I would always need.
.........And if you could bottle that, it would read.......
Rx for D. M. Starsky........one.......Ken Hutchinson.
The End