Starsky stood, leaning against the doorframe, watching his partner get ready for work.  For a change, it was he who was early and the other running behind schedule.  He watched in quiet amusement the morning ritual.  He had been there for about ten minutes and so far had observed the watering of plants, the mad dash to the bedroom to change out of that old robe into street clothes.  The checking and re-checking of his weapon.  The quick once over of the kitchen, the putting away of juice and other breakfast stuff.  All done efficiently and without a lot of fuss.

It always amazed him that this person was part of his life.  The most important constant.  From the moment they met there had been a connection.  An attraction.  Sometimes it was like they were two parts of the same person.  Each taking something they lacked from the other and giving back in return.  The dark that ate at his soul pushed back by the light at the centre of the other's.  He knew, sometimes, that if it weren't for this person he would have fallen off the edge somewhere along the line.  The dark would have won and he would have been lost.

For far too long he had been unhappy.  Not just dissatisfaction with life but an all-consuming unhappiness that threatened to swamp him like a rowboat on a storm ravaged lake.  The loss of his father in childhood, the rebellion of early adolescence, the shipping off to the other side of the country had been the beginning.  The years of not belonging anywhere, of feeling disconnected, of being rootless, of something important missing, had all added to it.  Then had come the hard years after high school when he didn't know what to do with his life, drifting from one job to another never finding one that fit him.  Always in the back of his mind that maybe, just maybe something was waiting for him.  Then the draft caught up with him and the couple of years of hell that followed.  Coming out the other end with the determination that he had to do something better with his life.  So he took the tests, did the interviews and entered the police academy.

He smiled remembering that first day.  He, in grubby jeans and an old t-shirt, running late for the introductory assembly.  Sliding around a corner and skidding full tilt into another man.  The force of the collision had knocked him on his butt.  Struggling to get his feet under him, he had accepted the hand that reached out.  Taking his first look at this stranger who he had just assaulted, who had offered a helping hand instead of a rebuke.  The man in front of him was a little taller than he, a little thinner.  Well dressed, clean cut, with golden blond hair and the bluest eyes he had ever seen.  For a moment, the whole world seemed to shake itself, something slid into place, and suddenly everything was right.

The stranger had smiled at his bemused expression.  "Hey pal, you okay?"  True concern coloured that voice.

And that's all it took.  The two of them had become almost inseparable.  They managed to get teamed together for the classes where a partner was needed.  They studied together, drank together and after Hutch's divorce, chased women together.  Even during their rookie period when they were partnered with senior officers, they kept up the friendship.  When the opportunity arose, they requested that they be partnered together as full-fledged uniformed officers.  They rose through the ranks together, became detectives together and took the Sergeant's exam together.

He felt very lucky.  And blessed.  Blessed in this person who never asked more than to be his friend.  He never felt that he truly deserved the friendship, the depth of affection that the other held for him.  But he would do anything in his power, and sometimes a little beyond, to keep it.

Sometimes he'd notice the looks, hear the remarks about the two of them.  But he could ignore them.  This person, who was in so many ways his opposite, was the other half of him.  And nothing anyone thought or said would change that.  Nothing short of death could change that.

***********

Hutch was late and he always hated that.  His partner was standing, leaning in that loose-kneed way of his, just watching him get it together.  Not saying a word.

He wondered what his partner was thinking about.  Usually Starsky would be on his case about his being late, a rare opportunity to turn the tables.  But he just stood there, watching, a little half-smile on that expressive face.  That face that he knew better than his own.  Every smile, every sideways look that could express anything from his quirky sense of humour to abject fear.  It often caught him by surprise how much he cared about the person behind that face.  He had never loved another person, especially another man, the way he loved this one.  And not just love but a feeling of oneness, that the two of them together were more than just two people.  That they had a special bond that very few people ever knew.  He didn't understand it, didn't often try to analyze it.  It just was.  They were so dissimilar.  In appearance, in personality, in backgrounds, in just about everything.  Sometimes the only common ground they seemed to share was the affection that they had for each other.

His friend was staring off into space.  He recognized the look on Starsky's face.  It was the one he always wore when he was trying to figure out something.  A puzzle, a chess move.  Sometimes the leaps of logic would frustrate Hutch but they always seemed to be right.  He knew that whatever puzzle his partner was working on he would find out in due course.

He paused in the bathroom doorway and just looked at his friend.  He often did that, usually when Starsky wasn't looking.  He was dressed, as usual, in worn blue jeans, the hems frayed, a small hole developing in one knee.  A t-shirt, black today, a denim shirt, his favorite old leather jacket, and those ever present Adidas.  His hair was in need of a trim, curling onto his collar.  Nothing truly special to look at until you noticed the eyes, dark blue, brooding, every emotion mirrored in those eyes.  That had been the first thing he remembered when he thought about their first meeting.  Even after all these years he still marveled at how everything changed when he had reached down to help that stranger up off the floor.  When those eyes had looked into his.  Something like a zap of electricity had gone through him.  A thought had run through his head that made no sense, then or now:  'Oh, it's him.'  As if he'd found something he didn't know he'd lost.

He loved him the way a father loves his son; the way a brother loves his brother.  Cared for him as he cared for himself.  Because without him he had been incomplete and the fear of that loneliness was always present.  He would do anything for this person, including dying for him.

Starsky broke the silence in the room.  "Hey, Hutch.  You finally ready to go?"  A smile like sunshine.

"Yep, let's go before Dobey has our hides."

******

Starsky was quiet for the first few minutes as they drove towards the station house.  Hutch noticed that he still had that look on his face so he left him alone.  Finally, his dark haired partner asked the question that had been racing around in his mind.

"Hutch, do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Huh, what makes you ask that?

"Well, I've been reading this book on reincarnation and.."

"You've been reading a book on metaphysics?  I surprised, pleased but surprised."  Hutch smiled.

"You know Rochelle, she works in Burglary?  Well she's into all that stuff and lent me the book.  She said that she'd been watching us and that I should read it.  It's really interesting, Hutch.  It talks about how souls are born in bunches.  And that every soul in that bunch belongs with every other soul in that bunch.  And that some souls are meant to be together through time because they're linked somehow and if one dies or isn't born in the right time the other will die too so that they can be reborn together.  Or the one that left too soon will be reborn right away so that they can find the other one.  And that they're not complete until they find the other one."  Starsky looked sideways at his friend to see how he was taking this philosophy.  He was relieved to see that Hutch wasn't laughing at him but was looking at him with interest.

"Anyway, it got me to thinking about you and me.  And something that I had kinda forgotten about.  When my Mom was pregnant with me she was carrying twins and she miscarried one about four months into the pregnancy.  Just about killed her I guess.  But she didn't lose me.  No one ever talked about it when I was little.  It was until just before I came out here that she told me.  Can't remember why.  But, you know?  I always knew that something was missing.  Always felt lonely even after Nick was born.  And after reading that book I got to thinking."  Taking a deep breath, glancing over again at his partner.  The look on his partner's face encouraged him to continue.

"Your birthday's in August.  That means you had to be conceived sometime in November.  My mom lost the baby in October.  If you think about it, it makes a sort of weird sense.  Maybe that's why we make such good partners.  You and I were meant to be twins, but something happened and you couldn't be born yet.  But you came back and eventually we found each other."  All of this said in a rush.  Starsky stopped talking and waited for Hutch to say something.  By this time, they had pulled into the precinct's parking garage.  Starsky turned off the ignition and turned to his partner.  "Well what do you think?  Could it be possible?  It would explain an awful lot."

Hutch was rather taken aback by all of this.  He had taken some theology courses in college.  Had read books on eastern religions.  Knew the basics of reincarnation.  But this was all a little much to believe.  Although…

"Let me think about for a while, will you Starsky?  As you said, it makes a sort of weird sense.  But I just don't know."  The blond detective was a little unnerved by the whole conversation.  He had been raised a good WASP and all of this mumbo-jumbo was alien to his way of thinking.  But..

"Okay, you think about it.  But I kinda like the whole idea.  If my twin had lived I would have liked him to be like you so I'll just believe it until someone proves otherwise."  Again that big smile.  Oh, well if it made his partner happy to believe that, why should he dissuade him?  The two climbed out of the bright red car and went on about their day.

And if anyone noticed that another milestone had been passed, no one commented on it.  Which was just as well because most wouldn't have understood it anyway.  Not even the two bonded through time.
 
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