CHARMED

By P&C PRODUCTIONS

CHAPTER 1

The evening sky was getting it’s last glimpse of daylight as Starsky leaned against the window…half sitting on the ledge and staring down at the traffic below. Their shift was finally over and he actually felt a bit of relief to know that he would soon be rid of Hutch for a few hours. On any other night they might find some excuse to hang out together. But lately the combination of heat… inner city traffic…and not having had an entire day off without being called in for some reason or another in over two weeks, had left them both with a very short fuse. The fact that they seemed to be joined at the hip for the better part of every twenty-four hour day didn’t make things any easier. Sure…they were still pals…but even the best of friends need a break from each other every now and then or things like this were bound to happen.

The argument had been over nothing in particular…but it seemed to escalate in a matter of minutes to an all out war. He should have known better…after all…he knew Hutch like a book. There were certain topics that seem to promote a defensive attitude in his partner lately and for some reason…he had pushed his buttons today. Maybe it was intentional…he wasn’t sure. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse to be alone.

“You still here?” Hutch’s voice held a hint of displeasure as he called to Starsky from the double glass doors of the squad room.

“What do you care?” Starsky growled at him without turning around. “I thought you were leaving.”

“I forgot my jacket.” Hutch told him as he strolled up to his chair…lifted it from its resting-place and proceeded to fold it over his arm. He stood there for a moment and turned his head to look at his tired partner…realizing that he didn’t really want to end the day with him on a sour note. “Hey…”

“Yeah…” Starsky answered him in a aggravated tone, still without a backwards glance.

“Nothin’…” Hutch said with a weak half-smile and a sigh as he turned to walk away. “See you tomorrow.”

“Hey Hutch…”

“Yeah…” Hutch answered glancing back to finally see the face of his partner looking at him.

“Goodnight.” He called to him softly…the anger diminished from his voice.

“Goodnight…Partner.” Hutch answered him with a smile.

It didn’t take much for them to make their apologies. Just a soft word…a nod…or even a smile could usually fix whatever had gone wrong between them on any given day. A sudden feeling of relief swept over Starsky as he turned his attention back to the window. Just knowing that Hutch wasn’t really all that mad at him seemed to ease a little of the stress he had been feeling earlier. Now with a different outlook on the rest of his night he took a quick look straight down as he pulled himself from the windowsill…when something suddenly caught his attention.

“HUTCH!” He called out in excitement as he leaned a little forward to get a better look.

The sound of his voice echoed in the hallway as Hutch stopped dead in his tracks. He glanced back just in time to watch his agile partner come bounding through the squad room doors. He was just positioning his jacket on his shoulders as he was waiting for the elevator and halfway expected him to stop when Starsky flew right past him and headed for the stairs.

“C’MON!” Starsky yelled as he pushed the door open.

Hutch followed instinctively. Calling to him as they made their way to the first floor.

“What’s the matter?”

“We gotta hurry!” Starsky called back without slowing his pace.

Hutch didn’t know what was going on but he was gonna be ready for it. He lifted his magnum from under his jacket and pointed it towards the ceiling as he followed Starsky down…the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

CHAPTER 2

When they finally reached the first floor Starsky threw the door open and ran as fast as he could to the side entrance and around the back of the building as Hutch followed. Other police officers in the hallway wouldn’t have been all that alarmed if it wasn’t for the fact that Hutch’s gun was drawn. Suspecting trouble afoot…the four men grabbed their own guns from their holsters and took off in pursuit after them. Now looking like a full swat team…chasing a hoodlum in blue tennis shoes…they finally arrived at their destination.

Behind the building was a young man in uniform…emptying a few large boxes full of items into the Dumpster. Officer Bigalow…who had been in charge of the property room for the past five years was taken by complete surprise as the six men came running up to him.

“Where’s the fire?” Bigalow snorted as they approached him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were trashing this stuff today?” Starsky protested as he grabbed hold of one of the large boxes.

“C’mon Starsky…there’s nothing in there you’d want.” Bigalow scolded him. “It’s just a bunch of junk.”

“You mind telling me just what the hell you’re doing?” Hutch snapped as Starsky leaned with his body halfway into the box.

“So that’s what this was all about?” Officer Daniels asked with a laugh. “Hey fella’s…Starsky’s Dumpster divin’ again.”

“Hey…don’t knock it.” Starsky called back as he emerged from the box just long enough to speak to him. “I’ve found some really neat stuff in that old property room.”

“Yeah…so I’ve noticed.” Daniels smirked. “I always wondered where you shopped for clothes.”

“Very funny Wise Ass.” Starsky replied with sarcasm.

“Keep digging Starsk…maybe you’ll find buried treasure.” Another officer called to him. “Come on guys…let’s get outta here.”

Hutch stood there in embarrassment as Starsky continued to dig and the four Officers made there way back around the corner of the building still snickering.

Hutch leaned over to speak to him in a low voice.

“You see what you’ve done…we’re gonna get ragged about this for the rest of the week…you know that don’t you?”

“So who cares about those idiots…what do they know?” Starsky told him as he pulled a few items from the box.

“You scared the hell outta me and had me chasing you down five flights of stairs so you could pick through this stuff? What’s the matter with you? Have you lost your mind?”

“Hey…” Starsky began as he grabbed hold of yet another box. “You know that big metal ship hanging on my wall…the one you always admired?”

“Yeah…”

“This is where I got it.” He confessed. “And that’s not all.”

“You’re kidding…” Hutch said with surprise. “You mean to tell me that you do this all the time?”

“Well…I usually catch him before the fifteenth…that’s when he gets rid of this stuff…but I guess I musta lost track of the date.”

“You know guys I’d like to go home sometime tonight.” Bigalow told them a little annoyed.

“Keep your shirt on will ya…” Starsky said as he grabbed hold of the last box. “I just wanna find something.”

“You looking for something in particular?” Bigalow asked curiously.

“Yeah…I saw it last week it was tagged for disposal today.”

“Well…what was it?” Bigalow offered. “I already tossed one box inside…maybe it was in there?”

Starsky lifted one foot and placed it on the side of the Dumpster…then he shifted his weight to bring himself in a position where he could look down over the edge.

“If you climb in there so help me…I’ll request another partner tomorrow.” Hutch threatened as Starsky began to lift his other leg to make the attempt.

“Aw…C’mon Hutch…I can see it from here.” Starsky pleaded. “It’ll only take a minute.”

“They’re watching us. I know you don’t really give a damn…but I don’t need this right now.” Hutch cautioned him. “Will you please do me the favor of sparing what little dignity I have left. It’s bad enough having to deal with the remarks I already hear behind my back…”

He let his words trail off intentionally.

“Because of me…isn’t that what you were gonna say?” Starsky asked as he hopped down from the side of the Dumpster. “C’mon Hutch…I’m right aren’t I…”

“Alright…I wasn’t gonna say it but Yeah…because of you.” Hutch admitted. “Why do you always do this kinda stuff? Is it really that you don’t care what other people think of you…or is it because you get some underlying thrill out of watching me suffer?"

“You’re serious aren’t you?” Starsky asked intensely as he starred into his partner’s soft blue eyes. “You ashamed of me Hutch?”

“I didn’t say that.” Hutch told him now sorry that he had went as far as he had with the subject.

“You didn’t have to…It’s written all over your face.”

Starsky shoved his partner to one side as he stormed off towards the rear entrance of the parking garage and Hutch followed him. It was a continuation of the argument that had erupted between them earlier that day. Only this was different. This time Hutch had said something that he couldn’t easily take back. But it was bound to happen sooner or later. What with the heat… the traffic…the long hours…and the appearance of the full moon that had just emerged from the setting of the sun as Starsky fired up the Torino and sped past his partner, coming close enough to cause him to have to jump out of his way or get knocked to the pavement.

“I’ll just come back tonight and get it.” Starsky said out loud to himself as his tires left yet another set of tracks on the driveway leading into the street. “Hutch’ll have to eat his words when I show it to him tomorrow.”

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CHAPTER 3

Hutch hesitated for a moment before pulling into the drive. He didn’t know if Starsky would welcome his company but he felt he just had to test the waters. He didn’t mean what he said and the guilt was eating away at him. So he purchased a pizza on the way over to grease the way for his apology. A night like this would usually include downing a few at Huggy’s…and working on his bank shot while Starsky complained about the fact that Huggy still hadn’t bothered to adjust the legs on that old ratty pool table. Tonight he would probably end up with a book draped across his chest. As much as he hated to admit it… his life had been pretty dull before his overzealous partner came along.

Even the prospect of fighting with Starsky again seemed better than the alternative. So he opened his car door and stepped up to the entrance.

Starsky was busily admiring his newly acquired treasure as he carefully wiped it down with a damp cloth…when he heard the familiar chugging of Hutch’s engine in his drive. After spending the day hoping he would finally have a little time alone…away from his nagging partner…he suddenly realized that maybe it wasn’t such a great idea after all. The thought of seeing Hutch at the moment actually brought a smile to his face. He never could stay mad at him for any real length of time.

He stood up and placed the object on the coffee table gently. Then he hurried over to the front door and opened it just as Hutch was reaching his hand up to knock lightly on the frame.

“Hey…Come on in!” Starsky said with enthusiasm as he grabbed his startled partner by the arm…almost causing him to loose the grip he had on the pizza box as he drug him through the open doorway.

“Hey…I just came over to…” Hutch was abruptly cut off.

“I got somethin to show ya…” Starsky said with excitement as he continued to pull him towards the living room. “You’re gonna love it.”

He released Hutch near the end of the sofa as he took a step closer to the small table and lifted it carefully to hold it in front of Hutch’s face.

“Don’t tell me THIS is what you were looking for in those boxes.” Hutch asked as he studied the unique design of it. He placed the pizza on the end table and reached out to touch it.

“Yeah…I think it’s real.” Starsky told him as he pointed out a few details in the artwork. “See how carefully it’s carved.”

He cupped his right hand around the belly of the fat statue as Starsky gave him some of the weight…realizing just how dense it really was…Hutch quickly wrapped his left hand around the base as Starsky released his grip. It seemed unusually heavy for it’s size and the pale colors that shown through the polished surface as the light struck it from different angles led him to wonder if Starsky might have actually stumbled onto something of value for once in his life.

“You remember Lenny? That weird little guy that we had to bring in because his neighbors said he was crazy?” Starsky prompted him.

“He WAS crazy…you saw him.” Hutch commented. “He didn’t own a stitch of clothes!”

“Unless you count the bed sheets he used to drape over his shoulder.” Starsky added. “Anyway…he had all kinds of stuff inside his place. They hauled it all away when the judge sent him to the nut house.”

“I remember…So that’s where this came from?”

“It was on the list…whoever came by to claim his things left it behind.” Starsky told him. “I think it’s worth something.”

“Well…maybe you could get it appraised.” Hutch suggested as he continued to admire it.

“So what do you say now?” Starsky asked eagerly. “Still think it wasn’t worth climbing into the trash bin for?”

“I just wish You hadn’t attracted so much attention.” Hutch told him still holding the statue in his hands. “You really should practice a little self discipline.”

“What are you talking about?” Starsky asked a little irritated. “You’re the one who decided to wave that cannon around.”

“Well how was I supposed to know what was going on?”

“You know what your problem is Hutch?” Starsky told him. “You worry too much about what everybody else thinks.”

“Well somebody has to…cause you obviously don’t give a damn.”

Starsky reached his left hand around the belly of the statue to take it from him as he spoke. Their fingers touched as they met on either side and Hutch held the majority of the weight with his left hand on the base.

“You know…you should try bein’ me sometime. It’s not so easy puttin’ up with you either.” Starsky argued.

“Yeah well… you should try dealing with all the flack I get when you pull one of your stupid stunts.” Hutch added. “If you could just hear the way they talk about you.”

“I don’t care…I’m not out to win any popularity contest.” Starsky admitted.

“Just one day…that’s all it would take for you to change your mind.” Hutch told him.

“You mean… you in my place and me in yours? I don’t know…You just might learn something yourself there…Schweetheart.” Starsky answered with a playful hint of Bogart in his voice.

“What…how to be a royal pain in the ass?” Hutch teased as he released his hands from the statue and allowed Starsky to place it back on the table.

“Like you need lessons….” Starsky said with a smile as he caught site of the pizza box on the table. “Did you remember the anchovies?

Hutch hung around for another hour or two…sipping on a beer and eating pizza as they continued their conversation. Jumping from subject to subject until he felt his first yawn coming on. Starsky couldn’t resist repeating the gesture…so they both decided to call it a night and turn in early.

After Hutch pulled out of the driveway…Starsky picked up what little dishes they had left in the living room and proceeded to get ready for bed.

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For some reason…Hutch felt unusually tired as he emerged from his bathroom that night. After another large Yawn…he climbed under the covers and fell to sleep almost before his head hit the pillow. Starsky had a similar experience. By the time the clock in Hutch’s apartment hit the stroke of midnight…they were both sound asleep.

The dream was the strangest one Starsky had ever experienced. Not flying…more like floating…like those people who have had a near death experience…he thought to himself. Now hovering above his body he could see the entire room…the sight of his chest rising and falling steadily gave him a certain sense of relief. He was breathing…so apparently he was still alive.

Hutch of course was having the same dream. It wasn’t frightening…as a matter of fact it was quite tranquil. They drifted into the night…flying over the city in the bright light of the full moon until they finally arrived at their intended destinations.

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CHAPTER 4

Starsky groggily reached his hand up in the direction of his alarm clock only to find the soft pillow that lay next to him instead. Now struggling to focus on the object of the disturbance he soon realized that it was coming from the opposite direction and opened one eye to find his target. Once the buzzing subsided he pulled his entire body into a long stretch and blinked his eyes a few times to adjust them to his surroundings. The scenery was familiar but for the life of him he couldn’t remember how he got there. The last thing he could recall was setting his alarm clock…next to his own bed and lying down. Two beers couldn’t have possibly caused him to black out the long ride across town. But there he was…in Hutch’s bed…as if by magic someone had placed him there.

He stumbled across the floor and into the living room half expecting to find his partner asleep on the couch or in the kitchen whipping up one of his early morning concoctions. When he discovered he was alone…he assumed his health conscious partner had once again decided to take an early morning jog around the neighborhood. It was the only explanation he could come up with at the time…but it was enough to cause him to relax as he made his way towards the bathroom.

He leaned over the sink to splash a bit of water on his face. He then reached one hand up to open the medicine cabinet to grab the toothbrush he kept there for just such a morning when something stopped him. His heart jumped as he caught sight of the image in the mirror. For a moment he didn’t move…he didn’t blink…he didn’t even breathe.

(Hutch?… What the Hell?)

But it couldn’t be…But there it was. The face of his partner staring back at him with a complete look of disbelief. He glanced down at himself in shock at the hairless chest and thin strands of blonde hair running down both of his legs.

“JESUS CHRIST!” He yelled out loud as he stumbled backwards against the tile wall behind him. He had Hutch’s body! He had Hutch’s face! And he was wearing Hutch’s boxers!

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Hutch awoke to the sound of light ringing by his bedside. Half asleep he reached his hand out to the right only to feel the thick quilt that lay in the abandoned space next to him. Realizing where the sound was coming from he turned his body to the left and reached his hand up to grab the receiver of the phone…feeling a certain strangeness associated with the gesture but not enough to cause him too much concern.

“Yeah…” He answered as he rubbed his eyes to have his first look around.

“Hutch…is that you?” Starsky asked not sure that he would find him there as he took his most logical guess.

“Who is this?” Hutch replied now realizing where he was. “How did I…”

“Look Hutch…I don’t know what the hell happened last night but I don’t want you to panic.”

“Panic…what for…Starsky is that you?…What are you talking about?” Hutch remarked with a hint of annoyance as he wondered what his partner had done to him this time…and why his voice sounded so odd.

“Just look up and tell me what you see.” Starsky told him remembering the mirrored ceiling above his king-sized bed. If Hutch had to receive a shock like this…at least he would be laying down when it hit him.

Hutch glanced up and stared curiously at the image in the overhead mirror. Starsky’s face stared down at him with a wide-eyed look of curiosity. He moved his position in the bed only to have the image copy his every gesture. It was the strangest thing he had ever seen.

“OK…What’s the joke?” Hutch called back to him. “How are you doing that?”

“That’s just it Hutch…I didn’t do anything.” Starsky told him. “Look at what you’re wearing…Blue pajama bottoms I bet.”

Hutch glanced down at the black hairs that covered his chest and the trail of soft curls that led down to a pair of blue pajama bottoms just like his partner had described to him.

“HOLY SHIT!” Hutch yelled as he jumped to his feet and took a better look at the body he was now occupying. He brushed at the curls that covered his chest as if the act might somehow cause them to fall to the floor. “Wha…How…”

“Relax Hutch…if you’re looking for your body it’s alive and well. I’m wearing it.” Starsky confessed. “Where did you put you’re car keys?”

“You at my place?” Hutch asked curiously as he tilted his head to get another look into the mirror above.

“Where else would I be?” Starsky remarked surprised that his partner hadn’t already figured that out by now.

“On the coffee table.” Hutch told him.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Just wait for me.”

“We gotta be at work by 8:30.” Hutch reminded him. “How are we gonna explain this to Dobey?”

“We’re not…What are you crazy or something? What would we tell him?” Starsky mused. “Hey Cap…sorry but Hutch and I can’t work today because we switched bodies last night and we’re a little disoriented. He’ll think we’ve really flipped out this time.

“I don’t know Starsk” Hutch answered him with concern. “Maybe we have.”

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CHAPTER 5

Starsky had to rummage through Hutch’s dresser to find something to wear. Hutch didn’t own too many jeans but he managed to find a pair along with a comfortable shirt and a pair of tennis shoes. The ones that Hutch used to jog in. The dressier kind Hutch always wore to work, were just too damned uncomfortable. Finally satisfied with his choices he headed out the door and into Hutch’s old beater. The one thought on his mind was that for the first time in all the rare occasions when he had the opportunity to drive his partner’s car…he didn’t have to adjust the seat.

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Hutch had also found himself with the troublesome task of picking through Starsky’s clothes to find something decent enough to be seen wearing in public. There were a few pairs of dress slacks hanging in his closet along with a couple of freshly ironed shirts he knew Starsky must have placed there just in case he had the chance to take a pretty young thing out on the town. That is if they didn’t turn him down at first glance with his ripped jeans and faded blue sneakers. For a change the guys at the precinct wouldn’t be able to pick on him for his garage sale attire.

After a quick shave, (Which was a strange task in itself.) Hutch headed for the kitchen to try and find something to take the place of his early morning shake. But the closest thing he could manage was a glass of milk and a banana. At least Starsky kept bananas in the house. It was the only fruit that his junk food junkie of a partner could actually tolerate. At least Hutch thought to himself…it would keep his stomach from growling until lunchtime.

Starsky slammed on the brakes in front of his apartment… turned off the engine and raced to the door to unlock it with the spare key that Hutch kept on his key ring. Hutch reached the front door just as Starsky came barging through it. They caught sight of each other and stood in silence as they stared into their own faces. It was like looking into a mirror…only the image was three-dimensional. . It was Hutch who spoke first when he noticed the untidy way Starsky had dressed his body.

“I can’t go to work looking like that!” Hutch scolded him. “Couldn’t you find anything else to wear?”

“You should talk…I look like I’m going to a funeral.” Starsky protested. “And what’s with the milk at 7:30 in the morning?”

“So what’s wrong with a little nutrition to start the day?” Hutch asked with annoyance. “It’s not like I’m gonna do your vitamin starved body any harm.”

“Alright…alright…So long as we pick up a few donuts on the way in.” Starsky agreed.

“Oh No you don’t…you’re not stuffing 500 milligrams of sugar and fat into MY bloodstream first thing in the morning.” Hutch said firmly.

“This isn’t gonna work Hutch…we’re really gonna have to get our act together if we’re ever gonna pull this off.” Starsky mused. “I mean look at us…they’re gonna know something’s up the moment they see us.

“Well I for one am more concerned about why we have to make the effort in the first place.” Hutch stated with concern. “Just what the hell happened to us last night?”

Placing a hand on Hutch’s shoulder…Starsky did his best to answer him as honestly as he could. “Look…all I know is it probably has something to do with what we talked about last night. Apparently somebody up there decided to take us seriously.”

“So what do you suggest we do?” Hutch asked

“You know what they say…when in Rome.” Starsky told him as he stepped into his bedroom. “C’mon…”

Hutch felt a little uneasy as he followed his partner into the room. He then watched curiously as Starsky pulled a pair of his ratty jeans from his dresser and tossed them on the bed while he hunted for an equally tacky shirt to match them.

“So this is your terrific plan?” Hutch teased. “To dress me like a vagrant?”

“Relax will ya…it’s me they’ll see…not you.” Starsky explained. “Hurry up and change so we can get back to your place.”

“If we do that…we’re really gonna be late.”

“So what else is new?”

Hutch removed the shirt he had on as Starsky watched and proceeded to remove his pants as a thought suddenly occurred to him.

“Do you mind?” Hutch asked nervously.

“What? Aw…C’mon Hutch…It’s not like I’ve never seen my own body before.” Starsky said in a playful tone.

Hutch thought about it for a moment…shrugged his shoulders and continued with his task. It was pointless to act shy about it…after all. He had already seen everything Starsky had…and visa versa…especially after his morning trip to the bathroom. He almost had to close his eyes as he relieved himself earlier and now felt a little guilty for some reason as Starsky watched him dressing. Briefs weren’t exactly his style but he chose to leave them on…partly out of respect for his partner and partly because Starsky didn’t happen to own a pair of boxers.

“I’ve gained a little weight…” Starsky commented as he admired his body from his new perspective. “I never really noticed it before. Maybe I should go on a diet.”

“I’ve been telling you that for years.” Hutch told him as he pulled Starsky’s belt through the loops in his jeans and fastened it “All that crap you’ve been eating is starting to catch up to you.”

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After a quick change across town they were finally on their way to work. They had decided to take Hutch’s car because Starsky had insisted on driving. If they took the Torino…he would have to put up with Hutch behind the wheel all day and he hated to ride shotgun.

Starsky pulled Hutch’s car into the garage and they both emerged from it looking quite normal. Now dressed to play their perspective rolls no one would know from first glance that it was anything but just another typical morning.

Dobey was of course eyeing his watch and tapping his fingers on top of the filing cabinet when they walked through the squad room doors.

“Ok…let’s hear it.” Dobey smirked. “Car trouble…power failure…earthquake…invasion from Mars…I’m ready for anything.”

“Trust me Cap…” Starsky told him. “You’re better off not knowing.”

“Starsky?” Dobey asked as he looked at Hutch. “What’d you do to him this time.”

“Nothing…he’s just in one of his moods again Cap…you know how he gets.” Hutch answered him in Starsky’s voice.

Dobey watched them curiously as they made their way to their desk and proceeded to sift through the morning caseload Dobey had left for them in the form of file folders. But something just wasn’t right…A smart-ass comment from Hutch… and a subtle explanation from Starsky? Shouldn’t that have been the other way around?

Dobey was a little confused but decided to brush if off…after all as much time as these two spent together…some of their personality traits were bound to rub off on each other. He had just never seen it so pronounced before.

He was about to step into his office when he caught sight of something else…something that he knew had to be nothing short of an intentional plot to mess with his head.

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