CHAPTER 12

Starsky quickly explained the problem he was having with her in vague detail to the receptionist and set the appointment for early the next morning. He would have to keep her out of school for half of a day…but he figured she wouldn’t mind. Dobey would understand and it would give him yet another excuse to miss work and spend the rest of the day with Hutch. At least that
was the plan…

He hung up the phone and returned to the table. Then he reminded her of their agreement and gave her the news. She didn’t seem too thrilled about it but she figured skipping her first period chemistry class might be worth the trip.

Hutch was intrigued. She had mentioned the rape but he didn’t know that she was having problems until he heard she would be going to see a psychiatrist. She seemed so well adjusted and happy…that he hadn’t considered until that moment…what she must be going through. He was just about to test his voice and ask if he could tag along when almost instinctively…Starsky invited him. It was as if he had read his mind.

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They left Huggy’s and headed for Starsky’s place where he could take a shower and change his clothes. He hoped that maybe he could show Hutch a few things there that he might remember. But he would have to present them to him in a subtle way. Hutch could always read him like a book so keeping his suspicions from him wouldn’t be easy. He knew the stubborn side of his partner and the fact that Hutch wanted to tackle his problem alone wasn’t unlike him. He hated pity…especially from the people closest to him.

As they entered the apartment…Cassie walked into her bedroom while the two of them stood near the doorway. Starsky watched him as he looked around and slowly began to make his way through the apartment. He took note of the unusual art that decorated the walls and smiled at the blinking traffic signal in the corner.

He came upon the Hi Fi and took on a serious expression as he skimmed through the record collection. Starsky walked up slowly to stand beside him.

“I still have the one you gave me.” He told him as he lifted it from the rack.

Hutch took it from him and glanced at the cover. It was a mixture of classical pieces…some Bach…some Motzart…some Beethoven. The titles sounded familiar as he read them off the cover. One in particular…caught his interest.

“Play this…” He said in a whisper of a voice as he pointed to it and handed the album back to him.

“It’s funny you should pick that one.” Starsky said with a smile as he pulled it from the jacket and placed it gently onto the turntable. “Do you remember the first time you played it for me?”

Hutch didn’t answer him. They both just stood there in silence as the music began to play. It was soft and sweet as it filled the room like the fragrance of freshly picked spring flowers and Hutch closed his eyes to allow it to fill his mind. Then…suddenly…something came to him.

(Pain…so much pain…and the sound of soft crying…the wetness of fresh tears against his skin…and a feeling of  overwhelming loss…)

By this time Starsky was wrapped up in his own distant memories while he stared at the turntable as if he were in a trance. It was the night he had spent with Hutch when Terry died. They had recaptured Prudholm and put him away…but somehow the victory just wasn’t enough. Nothing anyone could say or do could bring her back to him…and he was hurting more than he ever had in his entire life…

Hutch instinctively reached a hand up to rest on his shoulder when he looked at him. The pain was real…even if he couldn’t remember the reason for it…and he could see it in his eyes.

Starsky felt the familiar touch and glanced up at his partner with a small tear in his left eye…

“I haven’t heard this since…” He started and took a breath before continuing. “Since the night that…”

“What’s going on?” Cassie asked with a curious look as she suddenly interrupted him. They hadn’t noticed her as she approached them from behind. “It sounds like a funeral parlor in here.”

Starsky lifted the needle causing the music to stop and a sudden silence to settle in the room.

“We were just takin’ a little stroll down memory lane.” He told her with a small half smile as he rubbed his eyes with his fingers and tried to hide his tears.

“So what did you remember?” Cassie posed her question to Hutch but received no response.

Starsky watched him for a moment hoping he would answer her but soon realized that she had put him on the spot with her question and he was feeling a little uncomfortable.

“It was a long time ago…” Starsky told her as he removed his eyes from his partner’s face and placed them on hers.

“Well…anyway…I have something to show you.” She said as she took Hutch by the hand. “Come with me.”

He smiled down at her and allowed her to lead him into the hall and through the door to her room. She had made her bed and straightened up the place to show it to him. He took note of the posters on the walls and all of the stuffed animals. The soft aroma of sweet innocence filled the room. It was the same fragrance he had noticed when he first met her in the hospital.
Some people have a distinctive smell about them. Hers was like wildflowers in June…

“You did this…do you remember?” She said as she stood in the center of the room and prompted him. “There’s David Cassidy…and there’s Leif Garrett…and there’s the one you bought me at the Bee Gee’s concert two years ago. See it
’s signed.” She told him as she pointed to the hand writing. “You and Davey took me backstage.”

Hutch studied it carefully and read the inscription…(To Cassie with love…Barry…Robin…Morris…and Andy.) He had met the Bee Gees and he couldn’t remember it. But he did at least know who they were.

“I still have the rose you bought for me there.” She said in almost a whisper. Her words caused him to look at her with a smile. “It’s in my bible.”

He took his attention away from the poster and began to inspect the other objects in the room…framed pictures of Starsky and Cassie and one with the three of them together at the beach on her dresser.

“You took those…and Huggy took this one.” She told him as she lifted the picture of the three of them. “You hated it…but you never let anyone take your picture.” She added. “That’s why I don’t have very many of you.”

It was him…but he didn’t seem to remember it…he didn’t remember any of it. The feeling was so frustrating. She was showing him and telling him about his life…things he should have some memory of…but there was nothing.

He was about to turn and walk away when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. Sitting in the corner by the window in a small wicker chair was a familiar object…that caused him to stare at it with amazement.

“What is it?” Cassie asked as she noticed the look in his eyes.

Starsky had been standing in the doorway watching as she led him around the room…listening and waiting for a reaction. At that moment he moved quietly into the room so as not to break Hutch’s concentration.

Hutch stepped slowly closer to the corner and reached out his hand. He gently lifted the stuffed bear from his resting place and held him in both hands as he brought him closer to his face…

Then in a low whisper he forced the word from his lips…almost if he were afraid to utter it….

“Ollie…..”

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  Chapter 13
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