CHAPTER 14
Starsky drove in silence for a few minutes wanting to speak to him but
knowing that he had to choose his words carefully. In his present state
of mind it was a wonder he had allowed them to get as close as he did in
the first place and he didn’t want to blow it with him. He was the same
Hutch he had grown to love and respect…but it had taken a while for them
to get used
to each other in the beginning and now they had to start all over again.
The next day or so would be difficult for them both and he knew it. He
couldn’t pressure him…no matter how desperately he wanted to. Hutch had
to take some time to adjust…
He cleared his throat and forced himself to speak to him. He couldn’t just drop him off without reaching out to him one last time…
“Look…Hutch…I can’t begin to imagine what you must be going through…” He began as he glanced over at him and back to the road. “I guess I really can’t blame you for feeling the way you do…”
They looked at each other for a brief moment and then they each turned their attention back to the road. But in that instance…Starsky got the impression that he wasn’t angry…just confused. So he decided to continue with what he had expected would be a one sided conversation…
“Maybe it’ll be good for you to be alone for awhile…Ya know…get some rest.” He added. “We’ll pick you up in the morning if you still want to go.”
He looked over at his partner once more and received a nod of approval. It was good to know that he didn’t plan to shut him out…that he was still willing to see the two of them again.
The Torino pulled up beside the beat up Ford LTD for the second time that day and Hutch opened the car door to step out. Starsky climbed out of the driver’s side and stood with his right arm resting on the top of the car as they exchanged one final moment of eye contact. Hutch turned up the corner of his mouth and gave him a look to let him know that everything was ok.
“Catch ya later.” Starsky called to Hutch as he turned to make his way to the door.
He didn’t respond so Starsky waited for him to approach the front door before settling himself back down into the driver’s seat. Then he shut his door and pulled the shifter into reverse…causing the still running Torino to lurch slightly backward.
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Hutch listened as Starsky’s car headed off down the road and took a breath of relief to finally be alone. His headache had subsided a bit but the stress of trying to remember had left him feeling drained. He placed his hand above the doorframe without thinking and pulled the key down from where it had been resting to unlock the door. Then as he turned the doorknob he suddenly stopped still as a thought occurred to him.
(What did I just do?) He wondered to himself as he stared down at the key in his hand.
(I had watched him just a few hours ago…but I wasn’t thinking about that just now. Hell…I wasn’t thinking about anything but going inside and lying down for awhile….So how did I?)
It was a strange feeling…to realize that he had probably just done it out of pure instinct.
After a few moments he consciously placed the key on the coffee table and began to search for a towel…
He stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Just as the water began to run through the showerhead and onto his skin… something amazing happened to him. It was as if a floodgate began to open in his mind and images of the past began to fill his thoughts at an alarming rate…
Memories of his childhood in Montana; of his marriage and divorce from Vanessa; of the police academy and of everything that he and Starsky had ever been through. His mind was reeling from the sudden impact of it all, as he shook his head under the spray of warm water…
He ran his right hand over his the top of his head and his left one down the length of his face. He suddenly realized that before he would be able to let Starsky know, he would have to take some time to sort through his thoughts and make some kind of sense out of them.
He leaned with his back up against the wall of the shower stall and marveled at how quickly he had recovered. One minute lost in what seemed to be an endless void of not knowing who he was and the next seeing it all so clear.
If he had never believed in miracles before…he did now.
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Cassie jumped when she heard the sound of the Torino pulling into the driveway. It was now around 5:30 and she was in the process of putting something together for dinner. She had half expected Hutch to stay and eat with them that night and had been feeling a little disappointed after he left.
She rushed to the front door and pulled it open just as he was reaching for the knob…
“So what happened?” She asked eagerly.
Starsky looked at her with a smile as he thought to himself. It had been so long since she had greeted him at the door like this. It seemed just like old times…
“He’ll be alright…don’t worry.” He told her calmly. “He’s just had a lot on his mind.”
“So he isn’t mad at me?”
“No…of course not.” He told her as he removed his shoes. “What ever gave you that idea?”
“I read his note…” She confessed. “I know I wasn’t supposed to…”
He glanced up at her suddenly with a look of disbelief at her action…but soon realized that he was partially to blame for leaving it where he had...
“If I wanted you to see that…I would have given it to you.” He lectured her.
“I’m sorry…but I had to know.”
He was standing close to her as they spoke…and he took note of how unusual it was that she didn’t take her usual two steps back…like she had done every other time he had gotten that close to her lately. It almost made him glad that this had happened. Though he would never wish any harm to come to Hutch…it seemed that some good was actually coming out of it.
He decided to test her a little further by placing his hand lightly on the side of her face. This time…she allowed it to remain there.
“Cas…I know how much you care about him…but sometimes we all need a little space…ya know?” He said softly to her as he brought his other hand up to touch the other side of her face.
She dropped her head down slightly to look away from him and spoke in a whisper…
“I know…”
He pulled his right hand away from her face and lifted her chin up with the index finger of his left hand…
“Hey…whata’ ya say we order a pizza…? He asked as he flashed her one of his playful white smiles…
“With mushrooms?” She added with a smile of her own.
“You got it…” He replied as he reached for the phone that hung on the
wall in the kitchen.
Chapter 15
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