‘Let’s Go to the Zoo!’ – by Stephanie White

“That’s the way to the zoo.

That’s the way to the zoo.

The monkey house is nearly full.

But there’s room enough for you

Take a bus to Regent’s Park

Make haste before it shuts.

Next Monday I shall come and

Bring you such a lot of nuts!”

* I have absolutely no idea who wrote this, but whoever it was: Thank you. *

“Starsky, Hutchinson, my office, now!” Captain Harold Dobey snapped at his two detectives the second they walked into the room.

Detectives David Starsky and Ken Hutchinson looked at each other.

“Okay, what’d you do now, Starsk?”

“What? Every time he calls us into his office it’s because of something I did?” Starsky said indignantly.

“Last few times it has been.” Hutch answered with a shrug.

The two men reached Dobey’s office and walked in. Well, more precisely, Hutch walked in. Starsky ran into him as he stopped just inside the door.

“Hutch? You wanna move so I could come in?”

“Oh, right. Sorry, Starsk.” Hutch said as he moved into the room – not once taking his eyes off of the blonde woman seated in front of the desk.

“Hutch?” Starsky said as he moved into the room. “You okay, Babe? What’s…” His voice trailed off as he too noticed the woman.

Smokey Bear stood up and walked over to Hutch. He could tell she had been crying. He opened his arms and she stepped into a comforting embrace.

Dobey spoke up, “Someone’s been killing zookeepers. They’ve lost three so far.”

Hutch pulled back a little so he could look at her face. “I thought you said they were accidents.”

She shrugged. “I thought they were – until the third one. Tom Dayne. They found him this morning in the lion’s cage. He wasn’t supposed to go anywhere near the cages, he knew that.”

“He wasn’t a zookeeper?” Starsky asked.

Smokey shook her head. “He was one of the docents - a volunteer. He offered to check the big cat exhibit for me. Someone reported one of the displays was broken. I was going to check it on my way out last night when he volunteered. He knew better than to get into the cages!”

Hutch hugged her again, his eyes sliding shut as he realized that the latest victim could easily have been her. She leaned into the hug and Hutch felt the wetness on his shirt as he realized she was crying again.

After a few minutes, she took a deep, shuddering breath, straightened up and returned to her chair. She turned back to Dobey and nodded.

Dobey picked up a file. “Medical examiner’s preliminary report on Dayne’s death. He was hit over the head with a blunt instrument. He was pushed into the cage and whoever it was tried to make it look like he had just accidentally tripped.”

“The M.E. is certain that someone hit him?”

Dobey nodded. “What’s more, by all accounts, there was no broken display in the building.”

“So, why would someone be knockin’ off zookeepers?” Starsky asked.

Smokey shrugged. “I don’t know! I mean it’s not like our jobs aren’t dangerous enough!”

Hutch came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, feeling the tension there. He gently started rubbing her shoulders and she leaned back against him.

Dobey looked at his two detectives. “Okay, the two of you will be going undercover at the zoo.”

Hutch looked up. “Cap’n, I can’t go undercover at the zoo! Most of the employees there know me and know I’m a cop!”

Dobey nodded. “I’ve taken that into consideration. You’re going in as a docent. They volunteer one day a week. The training period though, is daily for ten days. If anyone here asks, you’re taking vacation time.”

“What about me?” Starsky asked.

“Your name is Dave Lloyd. You’ll be a new zookeeper assisting Smokey here.”

“Uh…the lions?” Starsky swallowed hard. “Couldn’t I work with something a little…er… smaller? You know, penguins or something?”

“Starsky, the only other person besides Smokey who’ll know you’re a cop is the zoo’s COO and he’s leaving for Africa tonight.”

“Relax, Starsky.” Smokey said. “I won’t let you in with them alone. You can handle Pippa; these guys aren’t too much different. They just won’t sit on command.”

“That’s the problem,” Starsky muttered.

“Okay, now that that’s settled,” Dobey said. “Get out of my office you two. You’ll report for work at the zoo tomorrow at nine a.m. Hutch, the docent training program starts tomorrow at ten.”

Starsky and Hutch looked at each other. Hutch leaned down and kissed the top of Smokey’s head, gave her shoulders one more reassuring squeeze and followed his partner out of the office.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Starsky stood up and stretched. “No fair! You guys ganged up on me!”

“Starsky,” Hutch said patiently. “How do you gang up on someone in Monopoly?”

Smokey giggled, “Yeah, Starsky. How?”

Starsky looked between the amused faces of his friends. “You’re doin’ it again!”

Hutch laughed outright at this, soon to be joined by Smokey. Starsky glared at the two of them until he too saw the humor in the situation. Soon all three of them were laughing hysterically.

Finally, Starsky took a deep breath and pulled himself together. “Okay, I’m outta here. I’ll see you guys at the zoo tomorrow.”

“See ya, Starsk.” Hutch answered him with a smile and wave.

“See you tomorrow, Starsky,” Smokey said. “Bright and early.”

Starsky grinned and walked out the door.

Smokey stood up and helped Hutch gather the Monopoly pieces. Finally, after the last little pink piece of currency had been put away, Smokey looked at Hutch and smiled.

“You staying?” He asked with a smile of his own.

She ran her hands up his chest and around his neck. “Is that an invitation?”

He put his arms around her waist and said, “No. This is.” He leaned down to kiss her.

She returned the kiss and quickly deepened it. She kissed a line up his jaw to his ear, “I like invitations like that.”

“I thought you might…ah…is that…um…an…acceptance?” Hutch was starting to have a hard time concentrating on the conversation.

She nipped at his ear before working her way over to its mate, “Oh…yes.” She sighed as she started nibbling on his other ear.

He reached up and pulled her away from the ear so he could kiss her mouth again. Once he captured those beautiful lips, he started moving his hands over her body – everywhere he could reach. He became aware of her fingers undoing the buttons on his shirt and he quickly helped her to eliminate the annoying piece of cloth. Then he decided turnabout was fair play and just as quickly divested her of her shirt and bra.

After a few more minutes of roving hands and passionate kisses, Hutch pulled back and said a little breathlessly, “Bedroom?”

She nodded and they kissed their way over to the bed. He gently lowered her onto the pillows, never letting his lips leave hers as he lowered himself on top of her. She moaned softly as she felt his hardness settle between her legs. She ran her hands down his body until she reached the waistband of his jeans. She unbuttoned them and slowly lowered the zipper. He rolled off of her long enough to remove the offending jeans and underwear. He moved back to her and allowed himself the pleasure of removing her jeans and panties.

Now that they were both as naked as the day they were born, they made love - two people merging together until one is indistinguishable from the other. Bringing each other to the heights of ecstasy and falling back into the warm afterglow of each other’s embrace.

“I love you,” Hutch murmured as he drifted off to sleep.

“Love you too,” She whispered as she snuggled into his embrace and followed him into dreamland.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning, Meredith, Smokey’s secretary, poked her head into the office. “Hey, the new zookeeper applicant is here.”

Smokey looked up, “Okay. Thanks. Send him in.”

“I wonder if he’s single.” Meredith said as she stepped into the office for a minute, shutting the door behind her. “He’s really cute. Nice guy too. I think you oughta hire him.”

“Just because he’s cute and nice?” Smokey asked with a grin. “That’s good enough for me.”

“Okay, I suppose you can see if he’s qualified too,” the dark-haired secretary conceded – reluctantly.

Smokey laughed, “The sooner you show him in, the sooner I can find out.”

Meredith grinned at her supervisor and headed out to let Starsky into the office. “Smokey, this is Dave Lloyd. Dave, this is Smokey Bear.” As she walked out of the office, she whispered in his ear, “I’m pulling for you to get this job. I can talk her into anything.”

Starsky watched her go with an amused expression. Then he turned back to Smokey with a grin. “I think she likes me.”

Smokey chuckled. “I know she does. She practically conducted your interview without you before she brought you in. She really wants me to hire you.”

“Let’s not disappoint her,” Starsky laughed.

“Works for me,” Smokey said. “Welcome to the zoo, Mr. Lloyd. Now, shall we waste a little time so she thinks I’m actually making the effort to interview you?”

The two of them made small talk for the next twenty minutes, being careful not to talk about the case or the police (just in case Meredith was listening at the door!). Finally, they stood up and exited the small office.

“Meredith, could you take Mr. Lloyd to Human Resources to fill out the proper paperwork and then take him over to meet Fred.”

“Fred?” Starsky asked.

“Fred Shar. He’s my second-in-command. He’ll get you acquainted with your duties and get you set up with a uniform and all that mess.”

“Oh. Okay, let’s go!” Starsky said to Meredith.

Meredith looked over her shoulder and mouthed to Smokey, “Thanks!” Then she put her hand on Starsky’s back and guided him out of the office.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Meanwhile, Hutch arrived at the zoo and was directed to the education building. He found himself one of about a dozen people – most of whom were women. There were only two other men.

“Thank you for coming, ladies and gentlemen.” The instructor made her presence known. “If you would be so good as to take your seats, we can begin. My name is Mara White; I’m the director of the docent program here at the zoo. You’ll find a packet of information at your seats. If you could fill out the questionnaire there and give it to me before the lunch break, please. Now, why don’t we begin by going around the room and introducing ourselves. Just give your name, what you do for a living and why you decided to volunteer at the zoo.”

Hutch sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘I hate these introduce yourself sessions. I never know what to say.’ He thought to himself.

When it was his turn, Hutch stood up and cleared his throat, “Um…my name is Ken Hutchinson. I’m a police detective. I…uh…decided to become a docent because…um…well…my girlfriend works for the zoo and um…she taught me to really appreciate the zoo. So…uh…I decided to become a docent because…um…she said it would be a good way to help other people appreciate the zoo.”

“Who’s your girlfriend?” Mara asked.

“Smokey Bear - the zookeeper in charge of the big cats.”

“Oh yes. So you’re Hutch? I’ve heard about you.” She said with a smile. “Don’t worry, it’s all been good.”

Hutch blushed and sat down again, trying to melt into his chair as Mara kept talking about all the wonderful things Smokey said about him. Finally, much to Hutch’s relief, she allowed the conversation to move to the next person’s reasons for becoming a docent.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Meredith took Starsky to the human resources office and waited while he filled out the requisite paperwork. Then she took him to meet Fred.

Fred Shar was a tall, lanky man with a receding hairline and glasses. He gave Starsky an appraising look and decided he was satisfied with what he saw.

“Okay, Dave was it?” He said. When Starsky nodded, he said, “Let’s get you fitted with a uniform and I’ll take you on a tour of the big cat exhibits and cages. We have six lions, four tigers – two Siberian and two Bengal, two cheetahs, three leopards, one black leopard – you know, a panther, two snow leopards, two lynx, a two mountain lions and four cubs from various pairings.”

About this time, he noticed Meredith was hanging around near the door. “Can I help you Miss Corso?”

Meredith started, suddenly aware that she had been staring at Starsky. “Uh…no thanks Fred. Guess my mind was wandering.”

Starsky gave her one of his famous lopsided grins and she melted – until she realized Fred was still watching her. “I’ll see you guys later. Dave, Smokey’ll probably want to see you in her office as soon as you guys are finished here.”

He nodded and she winked at him as she headed out the door. Starsky watched her leave until he heard Fred clear his throat. Starsky started a little guiltily and turned his attention back to the tall man in khaki.

“Now then, let’s get you a uniform.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Smokey looked up and saw Hutch standing in the doorway of her office. She grinned and motioned him to enter as she finished her telephone call.

“Right…right…I know Ted. I know you don’t want to lose any more of us. Look, just because two people quit is no reason to panic. Okay…I know why they quit and I can’t say as I blame them. Come on Ted! You’re in friggin’ Africa! What can you do from there anyway? The undercover men you requested are here and they’ll get to the bottom of it. So stop worrying about things you can’t do anything about, okay? Right, I’ll see you next month. Bye.”

“Let me guess,” Hutch said as Smokey came around the desk to kiss him. “That was the COO, right?”

“Yep. People are getting spooked and quitting. He’s in Africa and he’s panicking because he can’t do anything from there. He was going to cancel the trip, but the board wouldn’t let him.”

“Why not? Shouldn’t the Chief Operating Officer of a zoo stay if his people are being killed?”

She shrugged. “That’s just it. The press thinks they’re just accidents. The board feels that if he cancelled a trip just because of a run of bad luck, the press would get wind that there was more to this than meets the eye. They don’t think the zoo can afford that kind of publicity.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get to the bottom of this.” Hutch said as he leaned in to kiss her again.

They were still locked together when Meredith stuck her head into the office. “I’m going to lunch and…oh, sorry!”

Hutch and Smokey jumped apart. Smokey blushed and tried to retain some composure as she said, “Uh…fine. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Yeah, I’m taking the new guy out for lunch.”

Smokey and Hutch shared a knowing look, “Thought you had a thing for him.” Smokey said.

It was Meredith’s turn to blush. “Okay, I already admitted he was cute this morning.” She gave Hutch a slightly embarrassed look. “And he is a really nice guy. Anyway, I thought I’d take the opportunity to welcome him to the staff.”

“So, this is just a ‘welcome to the staff’ lunch, huh?” Smokey said skeptically.

“Yes!” came the indignant reply. Then she laughed, “Okay, maybe I’m hoping for a dinner invite too.”

“Thought so,” Smokey laughed as she slipped an arm around Hutch’s waist. “Okay, you have fun. If you want to take a longer lunch than usual, I’ll even not look at the clock for a while. Just try to be back before three – I have that meeting.”

“Thanks,” Meredith said with a grin as she bounded out of the office.

“You think she’ll be mad when she finds out he’s not really a zookeeper?” Hutch asked as he dropped his arm over Smokey’s shoulders.

“I’ve seen her like this before. I think she’d laugh…eventually.”

“Well, anyway. We docents in training only have an hour for lunch, so let’s go!

“You got it!” She smiled as she led the way out of the office.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Later that evening, the three of them met to compare notes.

“You guys find anything yet?” Smokey asked.

Starsky shook his head, “Nothin’ on my end. I did learn how to give a tiger cub a bottle, but I don’t think that counts.”

Hutch chuckled. “There were a few possibilities in the docent class. I’m having R & I run a make on them.”

“Who are they?”

“One is a guy by the name of Harold Green. I can’t help thinking I’ve seen him somewhere before. For all I know, it was a wanted poster.”

“Who else?”

“A woman by the name of Lorraine Hunnicut. She said she joined the docent program to get over her young son’s death. There’s just something not right about her…”

Smokey sat up suddenly, nearly knocking Hutch off the couch. “That’s it! That’s the connection!”

“What?” Hutch asked as he regained his balance. “What’s it?”

“Just before the first death, there was an accident. Some kid climbed over a railing and fell into the polar bear habitat. The bears had killed him before the zookeepers could get them out of there. I remember his mother was hysterical, blaming everyone in the area except her son who climbed into the pit and herself for not watching him.”

“You think she’s trying to get revenge?” Starsky asked.

Smokey shrugged. “The first zookeeper to die was in charge of the polar bears. If it is this lady, she’s nuts. She probably wants all zookeepers to pay for her one minute of inattention.”

Hutch sighed, “I don’t suppose you know her name?”

“I remember her last name was Davis. I don’t remember her first name, though. It wasn’t my department, so I wasn’t too heavily involved with the aftermath.”

Starsky rolled his eyes, “Davis is a pretty common name. I don’t suppose you could get a copy of the incident report?”

Smokey shook her head. “Security is very tight when it comes to incident reports lest the press gets hold of them. They’d demand a subpoena.”

“I’ll talk to Dobey in the morning,” Hutch said. Starsky nodded.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.” Smokey sat up from where she had been reclining against Hutch’s chest. “Where should we go for dinner?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She looked again at the picture of the smiling little boy. Her eyes filled with tears as she saw in her mind’s eye the zookeepers standing around laughing while her precious child was eaten alive by those damned bears.

‘They don’t care about the people! They’re just out for a laugh. Let the animals get to the visitors and watch the show!’ She thought angrily to herself. ‘Well, I’ll show them! They won’t be laughing when I’m done with them!’

She looked at the list of zookeepers that she just swiped from the human resources department when the secretary was out to lunch. She noticed a new name since the last time she saw the list.

‘Dave Lloyd,’ She thought angrily. ‘How could he ally himself with savages like these? Well, I’ll just have to show him the folly of his ways…’

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day was fairly uneventful. Starsky and Hutch kept their eyes open and didn’t find much. Hutch kept a close eye on Lorraine and Harold. Starsky kept a close eye on his own backside - those lions are damned big when you’re in the same room with them!

At about eight o’clock in the evening, as the zoo was closing for the night, Fred called Starsky over to him.

“Dave, I just got a call from someone over in the reptile house. They need some help prepping a cage for a new snake species or something. They just had a few guys quit recently and they need all the help they can get.”

“You want me to head over there?”

“Yeah. They said it’s the third cage in on the left. Apparently they’re not completely done with their shut down routines and would you mind getting started without them?”

“Did they say what I’m supposed to do?”

“I guess you’ll start with a broom and hopefully they’ll get there before you’re done with that to tell you what to do next.”

“Okay.” Starsky said with a shrug. “I’m supposed to be meeting with Smokey when I finish here. If she comes looking for me, tell her where I am, okay?”

Fred grinned, “I will. Thanks again. Saves me a helluva lot of trouble.”

“Not a problem,” Starsky said with a grin of his own as he headed out to the reptile house.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Starsky arrived at the reptile house a few minutes later. He looked around for another employee, but couldn’t find one. He sighed and went through the door marked ‘Employees Only’. He found a broom and stepped into the requisite cage.

As he started sweeping, he heard an ominous rattle and realized he wasn’t alone in the cage. He turned around slowly to find himself face to face with a 5-foot rattlesnake. His violet-blue eyes widened as he started backing carefully towards the door of the cage. When he reached it, he realized it had been locked from the outside.

“HEY!” He yelled as he banged on the door. “LEMME OUTTA HERE!”

“Let’s see how you like being attacked by an animal while people do nothing to help you!” Came a female voice from the other side of the door. “That’s what they do here, you know. But I’m sure you do know that, and I’m sure you enjoy watching people dying in the jaws of your animals. That’s why you took a job here! You’re just as sadistic as the rest of them!”

Starsky took a chance, “Lorraine, you can’t get away with this. Please, open the door before something happens that we’ll both regret.”

He heard a gasp on the other side of the door. “You know my name? Then you know what your fellow zookeepers did to my son! You’re all a bunch of sadists and you deserve to be taught a lesson.”

“Lorraine, I’m not a zookeeper. I’m a cop. Let me out of here. I know you don’t wanna kill a cop.”

“A cop?” There was silence for a brief moment and Starsky thought that maybe he had gotten through to her. Then there was laughter - hysterical laughter that made his blood run cold.

“You cops did nothing to punish these people for their crimes! My son was murdered and you did nothing to jail his killers! You deserve to die as much as the zookeepers, if not more!”

“Lorraine,” Starsky said in his most reasonable voice. “It wasn’t their fault! It wasn’t their fault that the bears were faster than they were. It wasn’t their fault that your son climbed over a railing. You can’t blame them for things that they had no control over. You have to…OW! DAMMIT!” Starsky jumped as he felt the snake’s fangs sink into his leg. He felt a burning sensation as the venom was released into the wound. The snake let go and Starsky turned and clubbed it over the head with the broom handle until it ceased to move.

“Lorraine, please let me out of here! There’s still time to stop this.” Starsky was pleading for his life now. “Killing a cop will put you away for life and then some! Please…let me out.”

“My son begged for his life. You should have heard him screaming while the zookeepers did nothing to get him out of there! There’s no one to get you out of here.”

“Lorraine!” Starsky shouted.

“I’m sorry, but I have to leave now. I have to go pick my daughter up from the sitter’s. Don’t bother shouting for help; the reptile personnel are gone for the evening. They’ll find you in the morning. Good night, Sadist!”

Starsky sagged against the door in defeat when he heard the door to the outside open and then close with a resounding bang.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hutch was sitting in Smokey’s office waiting for his partner to report in for the day. Smokey was finishing some reports so he was reading a magazine. He looked at his watch: 8:30.

“How long does it take to put the cats to bed?” Hutch asked impatiently. “I’m starving! I’d like to be able to go to dinner here in the near future.”

Smokey looked up and smiled, “Sometimes it takes a while! He’ll be here in a bit. Don’t worry!”

Hutch sighed. Something wasn’t right; he could feel it. But at the moment, there was nothing to do but wait.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Starsky was sitting on the floor of the cage with his pant-leg ripped up to his knee. He tried to calm his breathing and relax.

‘Okay, don’t panic. Hutch’ll come looking for you soon,’ he thought to himself. ‘What do I do in the meantime? Come on Starsky think! What do you do with a snake bite?’

Starsky strained his memory. When he was sent out to California, his Aunt Sadie was afraid of exactly this situation. ‘California is crawling with rattlesnakes, Davy! You have to know how to handle a snake bite!’

He silently thanked God and his paranoid New York Aunt Sadie for making him take what he thought at the time was a stupid first-aid course dealing in snakebites. He took a deep breath and stopped to think.

‘Okay first…what was first? Oh yeah, tie something around the leg just above the bite.’

Starsky looked around. There was nothing useful. Finally, he stripped his shirt off and ripped a long piece off the bottom. He tied the strip tightly around his calf just above the bite – but not so tightly that it cut off circulation.

‘Okay, next…suck out the poison – yeah right.’ He thought wryly as he realized that unless he were double jointed in several places, there would be no way for him to bend far enough at the right angle to effectively reach the bite with his mouth.

He pulled out his pocket knife and started to cut the wound when he remembered the instructor stressing that ‘one should NOT cut or incise the bite’

‘Next…lie flat and try to keep the bite site lower than the heart. I can do that.’ He thought to himself. He balled up what was left of his shirt under his head, lay back and dangled his leg into the pit that would eventually house some reptile’s water supply.

“God this hurts!” he said aloud to no one in particular. He looked down at his leg and noticed it was starting to swell. “Oh, that’s attractive.” He said sarcastically.

He put an arm under his head and waited.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Half an hour later, he was still lying there. This time, he was shivering and could barely lift his head without a wave of dizziness crashing over him.

‘C’mon, Hutch! You gotta find me! I don’t want to die alone!’ He prayed for his white knight as he realized his mouth was going numb and he could barely feel his feet anymore.

Suddenly nauseous, it took nearly all the strength he had left to roll onto his side so he wouldn’t choke as he vomited what little he had in his stomach. The effort was too much and as he rolled back onto his back, he passed out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hutch was pacing back and forth in Smokey’s office. It was nearly 9:30 and there was no word from Starsky.

“Something’s happened to him, Smokey! I know it!”

“Relax Love. I told you – sometimes it takes a while to get the cats all to bed. He should be back pretty soon.”

“That’s what you said an hour ago.”

“Well, it really shouldn’t be too much…” Smokey was cut off by a knocking at the door.

“Come in!”

Fred Shar poked his head into the room. “Just thought you’d like to know, we got ‘em all to bed okay. Everything’s done and ready for tomorrow.”

Smokey looked past Fred. “Uh…where’s Dave? You feed him to the lions already?”

“Nope. Someone from the reptile house asked for an extra hand prepping a cage for a new snake coming in tomorrow so I sent him over. He should be done pretty soon. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Fred didn’t notice that Smokey had gone extremely pale when he mentioned the new snake. She absently waved at her zookeeper as he shut the door behind him. Then she turned to Hutch.

“The reptile exhibit isn’t scheduled to get another snake for another month. I think Starsky was set up. Do you have your gun?”

He nodded and reached under his jacket to pull the magnum out of its holster. As she started to head out of the building, she stopped into another office and grabbed a small box from a cabinet in the corner. As she came out to the corridor again, Hutch read the label on the box – ‘Snake Bite Kit’. His eyes widened. She shrugged and said, “He’s either been put in with a crocodile or something like that or a poisonous snake. We have to be prepared either way.”

The thought of Starsky being eaten alive or poisoned (not again!) gave Hutch an additional adrenaline rush. He took off running. As he got outside, he noticed that Smokey was no longer behind him. He spun around to look for her.

She had stopped to get a golf cart. She motioned to him and he jumped in beside her - glad that she had the wherewithal to realize that it would take twice as long to run for the reptile house than to drive there.

As they rode in silence, Hutch closed his eyes and prayed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When they got to the reptile house, they ran around to the employee entrance and Smokey used her master key to get in. Hutch was frantic when he realized that the cage walls were solid and he couldn’t see into them. He was about to run through opening cage doors when Smokey stopped him.

“Are you crazy? They’ll have a chart around here somewhere showing the empty cages. I’ll look for it. You go out and check the cages from the other side. The light switch is by the door.”

Hutch bolted for the door, remembering to turn the lights on at the last second. He walked into the dimly lit corridor of the building and started checking the cages. He shuddered as he saw the cold eyes of a variety of lizards, amphibians and snakes. Ordinarily, he’d stop to marvel at the colors and patterns of the slithery animals. Right now, all he could see was the serpent that ended paradise.

He passed an empty cage – at least, at first glance it was empty. Hutch took a closer look against the glare on the glass. He gasped when he saw his partner lying on the floor of the cage apparently asleep. He banged on the glass. Starsky stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up.

That’s when he saw it. It was lying motionless near Starsky’s left leg. Hutch pressed his face to the glass, trying to see what it was – a snake! It looked like even though it might have killed his partner, Starsky got the last laugh.

He mentally mapped out exactly where the cage was and then bolted back to the ‘employees only’ door.

“SMOKEY! He’s in that cage down there,” he yelled, frantically pointing. “Third one in! He’s been bitten by a snake.”

“Was he conscious? Could you tell what kind of snake it was?” Smokey asked as she started running for Starsky’s prison.

“I couldn’t tell what kind of snake it is. I think he managed to kill it, though.”

“Okay, calm down. I’ll take care of him for right now. Trust me, okay? You go call an ambulance.”

Hutch took a deep breath. It was quite a lot to ask of him – trust someone else to take care of his partner. He knew deep down that she could help him more than Hutch was able to at the moment. He nodded at her and bolted for the phone.

“Dial 9 for an outside line!” She called as she continued down towards the correct cage.

Hutch’s hand was shaking as he picked up the phone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hutch paced the waiting room floor as Smokey sat on a chair occupying her mind with a book of crossword puzzles. When she tried to make ‘Starsky’ a solution for 21-down, she gave up.

“He’ll be fine,” she said reassuringly. “Rattlesnake bites are rarely fatal you know.”

“IF they’re treated in a timely way! He had to’ve been lying there for at least an hour! He couldn’t even try to suck the poison out. Did you see where on his leg it was? There was no way he could’ve reached that!”

Hutch resumed his pacing as Smokey looked at him sadly. He was right, she knew. Starsky might have been lying there too long.

“Starsky’s strong, Love! He won’t leave you if he’s at all able to stay. You know he’ll fight like a dog to stay with you. You have to believe that!”

He stopped his pacing and looked at her with such a look of sadness that her heart broke just looking at him. She realized that if Starsky died, Hutch would soon follow. She stood up and opened her arms. He clung to her like a frightened child during a thunderstorm. She held him, gently stroking his soft blond hair and letting him cry on her shoulder.

Dobey walked in to the waiting room to the sight of his detective crying on his girlfriend’s shoulder.

“What’s happened?” Dobey asked, expecting the worst.

Hutch straightened up and wiped his eyes. “He was trapped with a snakebite for over an hour with no help! We still don’t know if he’s going to be all right.”

Dobey sighed and looked into the frightened blue eyes of his detective. “He’ll be okay, son. If anyone can beat this, he can – you know that.”

“How many times is he gonna be able to cheat death? He’s already done it a few times. One of these times, death is gonna win.”

“STOP THAT!” Dobey yelled. Then he lowered his voice as he realized that he now had about a dozen people in the waiting room staring at them. “Look, I know you’re worried and I’m sure the doctor’s are doing everything they can. Starsky’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Hutch said fervently.

“I know so,” Dobey said, trying to sound confident for Hutch’s sake. “If you can take some good news, we found out Lorraine Hunnicut’s married name was Davis. We sent someone around to talk to her and she didn’t even try to deny it. She was glad to have done it. She says she even knew Starsky was a cop and hoped he would burn in hell for not arresting the zookeepers responsible for the death of her son. A real nutcase, that one.”

“Is she fit to stand trial?” Hutch asked, disgusted with the thought that she could get only a few months in a psych ward for three murders and the attempted murder of Starsky (at least, he HOPED it was only attempted murder).

Dobey shrugged. “That’s up to a court-appointed shrink to decide. I know her lawyer’s probably gonna plead insanity.”

“She better not get it! She deserves to go down hard for this!” Hutch said in an angry voice.

“Relax, Love.” Smokey said quietly. “She’ll get what she deserves. Don’t worry about that.”

Hutch sighed and hugged her again. They were just separating when a doctor entered the room. “For David Starsky?”

Hutch practically attacked the unfortunate man in the white coat, “I’m his partner, Doc. How is he?”

“I think it’s safe to say he’ll recover. We had to take a big chance and give him the antivenom without an allergy test, but he had already been without treatment too long.”

“What if he was allergic to it?” Hutch asked.

“We had epinephrine and Benadryl standing by, but the allergy test takes twenty minutes. He didn’t have twenty minutes by the time we got to him.”

“But he will be okay, right?” Hutch asked, not quite believing that he had heard correctly.

“They’re moving him to a room now. He’ll be in ICU for the next day or so, but that’s really a precaution more than anything.”

“Can I see him?”

“Go on up to ICU. I’m not sure what room they’re putting him in, but you can probably see him. He’ll probably be asleep for quite a while, so you might want to go home for the night and come back in the morning – odds are he’ll sleep for at least a day. Snakebites take a lot out of you.” The doctor smiled at the apologetic looks from both Dobey and Smokey as Hutch nearly knocked him over in his haste to get up to the ICU ward.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Three days later, Starsky was sitting up in bed in his regular semi-private room (which he had to himself) talking to Hutch when Smokey poked her head in.

“Hey guys, how’re you doing?”

“I’ve never been better,” Hutch said with a smile.

“I’m recoverin’ nicely, thank you.” Starsky grinned at her.

“Well, I’ve brought you two presents.”

Starsky visibly brightened at the mention of presents. “What’d ya get me?” he asked with the excitement of a kid at Christmas.

She opened the door and Meredith walked in with a huge floral arrangement. She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. “You could’ve told me you were a cop, you know!”

Starsky shrugged apologetically, “That’s kinda the definition of undercover. Not telling people who you really are.”

“Well, the good news is I forgive you and if you want, I’d like to buy you dinner as soon as you get out of here.”

“Sounds good to me!” Starsky said with his famous lopsided grin. “Was that one of my presents?” he addressed Smokey.

She nodded and handed him a small white box. “This is the other one.”

He grinned as he popped the lid open. His eyes widened and he shut the lid so fast, one couldn’t have sworn he had opened it.

“Smokey, please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“What is it Starsk?” Hutch reached for the box and Starsky handed it to him as though it were a week’s dead rat.

Hutch opened the box and also closed it extremely quickly. “I really don’t think that was very funny.”

“What’s the problem? It’s just a black rat snake. It’s not poisonous.” Smokey said with an innocent expression that was belied by the devilish look in her eyes. “Besides, you know the old saying about falling off a horse. You just have to get right back into the saddle!”

“That ain’t no horse!” Starsky said vehemently.

“So you don’t like it?”

“Look Kiddo,” Starsky said reasonably. “I know you’re either playing a joke on me or trying to get me over my newly developed fear of snakes, but I don’t want a pet. Even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t pick a snake.”

Smokey laughed. “I kind of figured. I’m actually gonna give the snake to a local high school biology class. They’d been asking for a mascot.”

Hutch gingerly handed the box back to Smokey and went back to put his hand on Starsky’s shoulder.

Smokey laughed and pulled a rubber snake out of her purse. “Could you handle this one?”

Starsky took it with a laugh. “You are evil, you know that?”

Hutch got up and put his arms around Smokey’s waist. “That’s my girl!”

End.

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