False Accusation chapter 19 - 25

  by Lutra Cana (09/30 - 12/05/2000)

 

 

Starsky woke Saturday morning with Hutch sleeping in his arms.

 

After Starsky's stomach was finally full, the partners moved into the living room where Hutch lit the already laid fireplace.  Starsky choose to sit in the chair he'd occupied the evening before.  His emotions in overload, he needed a little space right then.  Hutch seemed to feel the same as he said nothing, simply turned on the TV and settled down in one of the other chairs.  They watched a documentary that neither could have explained later and quickly started to lose the battle to stay awake.

 

Starsky enjoyed the warmth of the fire and the safe feeling of knowing that no one was gunning for him.  At least no one at the moment.  Sitting in the comfortable chair with his feet cushioned on a hassock, he daydreamed that this was his and Hutch's house and they were simply enjoying a quiet evening together.  Starsky rather liked the image.  And he enjoyed the images of what he and his partner could do in other rooms of their own house where there would be no one to disturb them.    

 

The fire crackled and a log dropped, startling Starsky out of his near doze.  He was still tired even though he'd slept the day away.  Smiling to himself, Starsky thought about one of the reasons he was sleepy.  What he and Hutch had shared was so overpowering Starsky wondered how they could top that.  Not that he wasn't willing and more than a little anxious to try, but he doubted that anything else they might do would be as special as their first time.

 

He wondered at the whole thing for a minute.  What, besides the obvious physical part, was so different about having sex with Hutch from all the times he'd done it with one of his ladies.  Starsky had to be honest with himself - he loved sex.  Always had and suspected he always would.  He loved the way a woman felt, how he could make them feel.  Then he realized what the real difference was.  He loved Hutch.  There was no question that he'd loved some of the women he'd slept with, but it was Hutch who was different.  Not because he was a man, but because it was Hutch.  His best friend, the one person in the world who knew him better than anyone ever had.  Hutch knew what he thought, what he felt, even what he was about to do at times.  Starsky hadn't just *had sex* with Hutch, they'd made love. 

 

Starsky rolled his head to look at his partner half-asleep in the other white wing chair. What the hell did I ever do to deserve someone as good as him loving me?  Hutch was slumped in the chair with his head against one of the chair's wings.  His pale blond hair shone in the fire glow and the flickering light from the television.  Fighting to keep his eyes open, Hutch looked more like a sleepy child than the tough cop he was.  Starsky knew his partner inside and out, good and bad, but he was finding out that there were still things to learn.  Still questions to be answered.   

 

Thinking about them, Starsky wondered if he should start a list.  What made Hutch crazy?  How could he, Starsky - a man who'd never even thought about loving another man - satisfy his partner as a lover?  Would they be able to take their friendship that had survived anger, pain, even death, and mold it into what they both desired in their souls?  Could they live the rest of their lives together as a couple, as partners in every sense of the word?  Could he love Hutch enough?

 

That last question was the one that scared Starsky the most. 

 

The sliding click of the front door lock alerted Starsky that his partner's parents were home.  There was the biggest question of all walking in the door.  Estranged for so long, would the revelation that their son was gay destroy the newly forged and still fragile bond between Hutch and his parents?  Starsky had qualms about telling his own mother concerning his new life and the two of them had a tight relationship. 

 

Helen stepped into the living room.  Starsky knew she couldn't really see him well, he being half in shadow.  He took the opportunity to observe the way Helen looked down at her sleeping child.  Hutch had drifted off to sleep before his parents came home and he sat curled up in the chair.  One long leg tucked under him, head back, he looked so vulnerable that Starsky tensed in unconscious readiness to protect his partner. 

 

Hutch's mother reached out a gentle hand and stroked a lock of long, blond hair off her son's forehead.  Smiling, she stood and gazed lovingly down at him.  Starsky started in surprise when she spoke to him.  "He was always such a sweet, biddable child, David.  He and his father were so very close that it almost broke Richard's heart when they weren't speaking.  They've both come so far." 

 

She stopped talking when Hutch moved under her hand and woke up.  "Mom?"  Hutch sounded confused.

 

"Yes, dear.  We're home.  Why don't you and David go on to bed?  Your father and I will close up down here.  There's a lot of work to do tomorrow.  You're both going to need your rest for that." 

 

Starsky rose from his chair and came over to Hutch and Helen.  "Yeah, come on, partner.  You're asleep already and I'm almost there."  He grinned fondly as Hutch blinked at him then clambered to his feet. 

 

"Sure, now I've got two mothers fussing over me."  Hutch turned to Helen.  "Good night, Mom."  He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.  "Let's go, Starsky, you nag."

 

"Good night, Helen.  We'll be up early tomorrow."  Starsky patted Helen's arm as he made to pass her but she stopped him by reaching out and grasping his hand.

 

"David, I want you to know that Richard and I....  Well, actually the whole family, is very fond of you and that we're more than happy that you're our son's partner.  Good night, dear."  Helen surprised Starsky by first hugging him, then kissing him on the cheek.  Letting him go, she walked away towards the fireplace.  Starsky looked at Hutch who looked back with a bemused expression on his face.  Hutch turned towards the stairs.

 

Starsky glanced back at Helen one more time, but she was busy doing something to the fire.  Following Hutch up the stairs, Starsky wondered about the secrets in this house - the old ones he knew nothing about and the new ones that he and Hutch shared - and wondered which might be the one to ruin everything for all of them.

 

****

 

There'd been only a moment of unspoken indecision when the partners arrived at their rooms.  Hutch stood in the doorway of his bedroom, watching Starsky come towards him.  Starsky stopped beside his partner and gently pushed him into the room.  Edging past Hutch, Starsky went over to the bed and turned the nightstand lamp on.  "Close the door, Hutch.  You want to flip for the bathroom?"  He turned back in time to see a sleepy smile spread across Hutch's face.

 

"Go ahead, Starsk.  I'll turn down the bed.  Besides, you need to go through to get your stuff out of the other room anyway."  Hutch's voice gave nothing away, but the pink in his cheeks spoke volumes.  Starsky felt his pulse quicken at the look on his partner's face and had to talk severely to himself to keep from following through on the desire running warm up his spine.

 

Making quick work of brushing his teeth and other bedtime tasks, Starsky told Hutch the bathroom was all his.  Starsky gathered up the pajama bottoms he'd left lying where they'd landed before and carried them into the other room.  Stashing them in his suitcase along with the clothes he'd been wearing, he pulled out the second pair he'd brought.  Starsky wondered if he really needed them as he slipped them on.  He looked down at the little pouch containing his medicine and questioned if he should take a pill.  His back hurt with its normal persistent ache, but it wasn't bad and the headache from yesterday hadn't made a reappearance.  Starsky hated taking drugs at the worst of times, only doing so because he had to.  After the dose he'd had the night before he rather he didn't take anything and brave out whatever pain he might suffer.

 

Deciding that he could always come and get one if he really needed it, Starsky left the pouch where Hutch had laid it the night before.  He'd been half-listening to Hutch's own bedtime preparations and knew when his partner left the bathroom.  Turning off lights, Starsky went back through the bathroom into Hutch's room to find Hutch already in bed.  Hutch smiled at him and flipped back the blankets.  Starsky noticed the quilt lying carefully folded on the chair and worried what that meant.  Realizing that his brain was manufacturing problems where none existed simply because he was tired, Starsky climbed under the covers and into his partner's arms.

 

"I've been wanting to do this all evening."  Hutch pulled Starsky close and lowered his head for a kiss.  Soft, gentle, the kiss comforted Starsky in a way he hadn't known he needed.  He relaxed into the embrace, enjoying the response his tired body had to the emotions trickling along his nerves.  Not arousal, simply the warm, pleasant feeling of being loved by the person he loved.  Hutch slowly pulled away from the kiss and caressed Starsky's cheek, rubbing a gentle thumb along the cheekbone.   

 

"A person could get awfully used to this, you know.  Last night when I got into the bed with you, it felt like we'd been sleeping together for years and it was only the second time since...."  Hutch stopped, groping for words.

 

"Since we became lovers, Hutch?  That's what we were, even on the first night we slept together in this bed.  Have been for a long time, 'cept we didn't know it, is all."  Starsky lay back against his pillow and smiled up into his partner's face.  "You know, it's going to be really strange."

 

Hutch frowned,  "What's going to be strange?  Besides you, that is."  The frown turned into a teasing smile.

 

"Ha.  Us being together all the time.  I mean, even though we've always been around each other a lot, we've always had our own space.  Sharing a house, and a bed, is going to be strange.  Don't you think?"  Starsky threaded the fingers of one hand into Hutch's hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands.

 

Leaning into the hand cradled against his head, Hutch's gaze softened.  "Yeah, I guess it'll take some getting used to.  We'll have to make some kind of pact, Starsk, that if we start getting on each other's nerves that we talk it out.  Give each other that space if we need it.  I haven't lived with anyone since Van, and we both know what kind of disaster that was."  Hutch chuckled grimly.

 

"She wasn't all that easy to get along with, you know, Hutch.  I was there for some of her better moments if'n you remember.  Don't forget the last time I had a roomie was you at the Academy.  We did okay then.  Most of the time."  Starsky pulled at Hutch's head until their lips met again.  The kiss developed its own passion, its own heat, and Starsky felt the warmth all the way to his toes. 

 

As the kiss deepened, Hutch rolled to lay half on top of Starsky and Starsky's arms moved to enfold his partner.  Hutch's knee pushed in between Starsky's and he started to kiss his way down Starsky's neck.  Starsky was enjoying the way Hutch was lipping at his jaw when a yawn forced its way out.  Hutch pulled back and looked down at the man blushing beneath him.

 

"I'm sorry, Hutch.  I guess I'm more tired than I thought."  Another yawn interrupted him and tears came to his eyes at the force of it.  "Damn, just when it was getting interesting."

 

Hutch leaned down to kiss Starsky's forehead.  "It's okay, buddy.  We've years to kiss and all the rest of it.  Go to sleep.  Actually, I'm pretty tired too."  Starsky held Hutch's arms as he started to move off of him.

 

"Hutch, I love you, you know.  I can't think of anything I want more than to spend years making love to you."  Starsky looked up at the face hovering over him.  Hutch's long blond hair hang down, framing the strong features, the eyes that had haunted Starsky's dreams forever staring at him with something that Starsky could only call adoration.  Starsky felt his heart give a little lurch as he gazed at the face he'd memorized eons ago.

 

"I love you too, Starsk.  I love you, too."  Hutch kissed him again.  He let go of Starsky long enough to reach across Starsky and turn out the last remaining light on the nightstand.  Lying back down, Hutch held onto Starsky as he rolled over, pulling the other man close.  "Go to sleep." 

 

Starsky worked one arm under Hutch and draped the other over Hutch's side.  The two shared one pillow and, breathing the same air, fell asleep.

 

***

 

Starsky forced the last Boston Fern into Katie's station wagon and slammed the hatch before the plant could escape.  "Sheesh, now I know where Hutch gets his green thumb from."  He leaned against the bumper and grinned at Katie.  It was only nine o'clock in the morning and he was already hot and sweaty.  Hutch's sister looked just as bedraggled as he felt.

 

Katie leaned alongside of Starsky and wiped a dirty hand over her equally dirty face.  "I just hope I can keep them all alive until Mom gets back.  I'm afraid I'm not good with plants, not like Ken and Mom are.  I'm better at raising babies than greenery."  She didn't see the sad expression that flitted across Starsky's face at the thought that Hutch would probably have to settle for being an uncle and never a father.  Katie stared down the street.  "I remember when we were kids and we had our own little gardens.  Mine always filled up with weeds and bugs.  Ken used to win 4-H awards for his vegetables.  Ah well, I guess we're all good at something.  My lambs won two years in a row."  She grinned over at Starsky.

 

"Growing up on a farm must have been nice.  Hutch doesn’t talk about it much, but when he does, he gets this really goofy look on his face."  Starsky smiled fondly. 

 

"Yeah, it was great.  Of course, I was only ten when we moved to the city, but Ken and I would spend the summers at Granddad's place.  It wasn't the same as when we had our own place, but it was nice.  I think Ken missed it more than I did.  He's a country kid at heart.  Me, I like the city."  Katie turned towards Starsky, her blue eyes, so much like Hutch's, friendly.  "From what he's told me about you, you’re a big city kid, too.  Hard to believe that you two would have lasted together this long."

 

It was Starsky's turn to stare down the street.  "Yeah, well, when you've been through some of the things that we've been through, some stuff just doesn't seem as important.  Not when you care about each other, trust each other.  Maybe it's a good thing that we're so different.  We kinda complement each other.  Especially out on the streets."  He looked over at his partner's sister and grinned at the pensive look on her face.  "What?"

 

Katie smiled back, her eyes softening.  "Nothing.  I was just thinking that my brother is a lucky man to have someone like you in his life.  He was always a bit of a loner when we were young.  I'm glad you found each other, you make him happy and that's the only thing I ever wanted for him."  Katie pushed herself away from the car.  "Well, I guess I'd better be getting these back to my place.  Dennis' sister took her kids and mine for their swimming lessons this morning, so I may just have time to find homes for all these plants before the troops get back for lunch.  I'll see you tonight, David.  I'm looking forward to having a nice, peaceful evening without children and without any problems."

 

Starsky stepped back up onto the sidewalk as Katie fished her keys out of her jeans pocket and walked around to get into her car.  Waving, he watched as she pulled away and drove off.  Turning back to the house, he wondered just how peaceful the evening was going to be once he and Hutch made their announcement. 

 

The front hallway was awash with packing cartons as Starsky walked back into the house.  Hutch, Katie, their parents, Rickie, and her mom had been hard at work since the day before packing up some of the more valuable things that were going into storage.  There was also a pair of large boxes slowly filling with things for Hutch to take home.  Starsky didn't know all of what was in the boxes - so much had been packed while he slept Friday away - but he did know some of it.  There was a set of dishes that had belonged to Hutch's grandmother, another quilt, some family photos, and a few small pieces of artwork.  Hutch was going to ship the boxes by train taking only a few, light, more valuable things on the plane with them. 

 

And one other thing was going home with them on the plane.  Hutch's wedding ring quilt.  Hutch had told Starsky that morning that he wasn't letting the quilt out of his sight long enough for it to make the trip across country.  He'd pay the extra baggage fee if he had to, but it was going home with them.  Starsky rather liked the symbolism.

 

When Starsky came into the house, Hutch was wrapping something in paper, his back to the door.  Taking a quick look around to make sure they were alone, Starsky snuck up on his partner and put his arms around Hutch's waist.  Hutch stiffened for a moment, then leaned back into the embrace.

 

"Hi, Blondie.  Did I ever tell you that you look darn cute all covered with newspaper ink and dustbunnies?"  Starsky laid his chin on Hutch's shoulder and kissed the side of his partner's neck.  Hutch chuckled and turned in Starsky's arms until he was facing him.  Hands still holding the paper-wrapped object, Hutch couldn't do much except quickly drop a kiss on Starsky's lips and grin at him.

 

"You better hope that my mom never hears you talk about dustbunnies or she'll have a fit.  Of course, it probably wouldn't be as big a fit as the one she'd have finding us necking in the hall.  Let me go and get back to work, you nut."  Hutch stepped back out of the circle of Starsky's arms and pushed him towards a pile of books waiting to be packed.  "Go make yourself useful."  Hutch slapped Starsky on the butt as he turned away, prompting a frown, then a grin from the offended party.

 

The two were sealing up the last of the boxes destined for storage when they heard the phone ring.  Starsky looked up, but Hutch shook his head.

 

"Don't worry about it.  Mom's in the kitchen.  She'll get it."  They started to pile the boxes up more neatly in preparation for the truck that was coming that afternoon to take them to storage when Helen came out of the kitchen.

 

"David, Karl's on the phone.  He wants to talk to you."  Helen looked just as fresh and relaxed as if she'd been resting all day and not spent the best part of the morning working hard.  "Use the phone in the living room.  We're making too much noise in the kitchen for you to talk comfortably."  Helen smiled and turned back into the kitchen.

 

Starsky looked at Hutch, arching an eyebrow in question.  Hutch shrugged.  "Go see what he wants, Starsk.  Then we'll drag the last boxes down from upstairs."

 

His curiosity roused, Starsky went to answer the call in the living room.  As he said, "Hello?" into the receiver, he heard a click and knew that Helen had hung up the kitchen line.

 

"Good morning, David, how are you feeling today?"  Karl's voice was cheerful.

 

"Fine, thanks, Karl.  A little tired from all the work your sister's making us do, but fine.  What's up?"  Starsky felt relieved at the tone of Karl's voice and wasn't prepared for the lawyer's answer.

 

"We're wanted down at the police station, David.  Captain Kardel - that's Inglehart and Cruthers' supervisor - wants to talk to you."

"Today?"  Starsky's voice squeaked a little.

 

"Seems that there's a review board meeting on Monday to go over those two's record and in light of what happened with you, Kardel wants to get your side of things.  Especially your arrest and confinement.  Sounds like heads are about to roll and Kardel wants to assure that the right ones are on the chopping block.  Can you be ready in half an hour?"

 

"Well, yeah.  I guess so."  Starsky turned at the sound of footsteps behind him and saw Hutch watching him with a worried expression.  Starsky smiled reassuringly at his partner.

 

"Good, I'll be over to pick you up."  Karl broke the connection without saying goodbye.  Starsky hung up the receiver and headed for the doorway and Hutch.

 

"C'mon upstairs with me, Hutch, and I'll explain things while I get dressed."  Starsky patted the other man's arm as he walked by.  It was Hutch's turn to follow his partner up the stairs.

 

***

"So, I guess they want a statement from me for Monday."  Starsky was very glad that he'd decided to bring his good suit along on this trip as he adjusted his red-striped tie and did up the buttons on his navy blue jacket.  He'd been talking to Hutch through the open door of the bathroom as Hutch also donned his own suit.  Although Hutch had not been invited along on this little expedition, there was no way he was letting his partner go to the police station without him.  Especially if it meant that Hutch would get the chance to "talk" to the other two detectives.

 

Hutch came to the doorway of the bathroom.  "I hope that they also have that letter of apology Karl was after.  It would be nice to have this whole mess settled once and for all."  Starsky turned to look at his partner, a smile tugging at his lips at the sight of the man he loved.  Hutch's suit was pale gray with a darker pinstripe running through it.  With a paler gray shirt and royal blue tie, he looked gorgeous to the admiring Starsky.

 

"Hmm.  Yes it would."  Starsky sauntered over to Hutch and smoothed a hand along Hutch's lapel.  "Maybe afterwards, we can come back up here and help each other hang up our suits."  Starsky smiled at the color that rose in Hutch's cheeks.

 

"Damn you, Starsky.  Will you stop that?  Keep it up and I won't be in any condition to go anywhere," Hutch choked out, his own hand reaching out to cup Starsky's cheek.  Starsky leaned into the hand on his face, smiling at his flustered looking partner.  He had just started to move forward when they both jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

 

"Guess that's Karl.  Let's go.  The sooner we leave, the sooner we'll get back here."  Starsky grinned at Hutch, pulled at the other's lapel, and gave him a fast kiss.  Grabbing Hutch by both shoulders, Starsky turned him around and gave him a push towards the bedroom door.  "Get."

 

***

The ride to the police station didn't seem nearly as long this morning as it had Thursday afternoon.  And this time, Starsky was able to enjoy it.  Sitting in the front seat of Karl's BMW, he looked around at the sights as they made their way downtown.  It was a rather enjoyable trip, what with Hutch leaning over the back of Starsky's seat, one hand on Starsky's shoulder and the other pointing out landmarks.  Sooner than he expected, they were pulling to a stop in the parking lot of the building he remembered from his previous visit.  Starsky climbed out of the car and stood, staring at the police station.

 

Hutch and Karl had already gone several steps towards the entrance before Hutch realized that Starsky was not with them.  Stopping, he spoke quietly to Karl then turned back to the car and the silent man standing there.  Karl looked at his nephew, then Starsky, then continued to the station.  Hutch stood for a moment, looking at Starsky.  Coming back to the car, he laid his hand on Starsky's shoulder. 

 

"Starsk?  You okay?"  His worried voice woke Starsky from whatever trance he'd fallen into.  Turning to look into Hutch's concerned eyes, Starsky smiled weakly.

 

"Yeah, I think so.  We parked just over there the other day."  He looked away and pointed with his chin towards the next row of parking spaces.  "There were a lot of people milling around, I think it was shift-change or something, and I felt like everyone was staring at me.  I wanted to hide from all those eyes.  Damn it, Hutch, I felt guilty and I hadn't even done anything to feel guilty about.  Except be in the wrong place at the wrong time."    

 

Hutch gripped his partner's shoulder a little tighter.  Starsky sighed and ran a hand through his curly hair, disordering the work he'd done earlier to calm it.  "And I was scared.  I figured they were going to throw me in a holding cell with the other prisoners and leave me.  I guess I wasn't thinking straight about then.  And that scared me more than anything."

 

"It's over now, Starsk.  We’re going to go in there, get an apology for the way those bozos treated you, and then it'll be in the past.  Everyone knows that you didn't do anything wrong.  And the ones who matter the most knew that before anyway.  Stop worrying, will you?"  Hutch shook Starsky a little.  Starsky looked up at Hutch's smile.  "Hey, I'm supposed to be the obsessive one in this partnership, remember?"

 

"Oh, yeah.  Forgot about that."  Starsky's lop-sided grin still felt a bit strained, but it seemed to satisfy Hutch.  "Let's go see what that Captain Kardel wants with me and get back to your folks."  He clapped Hutch on the back and pulled away from the hand still resting on his shoulder.  Starsky straightened his jacket and headed for the entrance.  Hutch right behind him.

 

They'd only taken a few steps into the precinct house when a disdainful voice stopped Starsky in his tracks.

 

"Well, well.  If it isn't *Mr.* Starsky and his *friend*.  I wonder what sob story he's here to tell our Captain?"

 

"Maybe he's looking to find some kindred spirits in Vice.  I hear that they pulled a raid last night at that joint down on the waterfront.  You know, the one where just about *anything* can be bought for a price."

 

Starsky and Hutch turned as a unit towards their left to see Cruthers and Inglehart standing in the hallway with mocking smiles on their faces.  Cruthers looked the two LA detectives up and down with a sneer.

 

"So that's what the boys are wearing this season out in Lotus Land." 

 

Hutch's voice could have frozen boiling water.  "Why don't you just say what you mean, Cruthers, and stop it with the double-talk."  Starsky laid a calming hand on Hutch's arm even though his own back stiffened in anger.

 

Cruthers stepped a little closer, but stayed out of range of Hutch's long right arm.  "No double-talk, Hutchinson.  I'm just calling them as I see them.  Your buddy may have gotten off on that rape charge, but I'm sure that if we looked hard enough, we could find something to charge him with."

 

"You know, I'm really getting tired of you and your snide remarks.  I don't know what the hell you think Starsky's done, or why you're treating a person you've never met before with such rudeness, but you'd better watch your backs."  Starsky's grip tightened on the tense arm under his hand.

 

Cruthers' shivered mockingly,  "Oh, I'm scared.  You always do all the talking for him, Hutchinson?  You his mouthpiece?  Or do you do other things for him with that lily-white mouth of yours?" 

 

"Hutch doesn't speak for me, Cruthers.  And I'd advise you to leave him out of this.  Whatever *this* is."

 

Low in tone and volume, Starsky's voice still managed to silence the entire foyer.  People who had been trying to ignore the confrontation near the front doors, turned to look as Starsky released Hutch's arm and closed the distance between Cruthers and himself. 

 

"So, the pretty boy has a voice after all.  I thought maybe you couldn't talk because your throat was too sore or something."  Cruthers' mocking laugh was cut off when Starsky reached forward and grabbed the other man by the shirtfront.

 

"Why don't you just say what you have to say.  What the hell are you implying?"  Starsky's face was only inches from Cruthers' and for the first time Cruthers seemed to realize the dangerous game he'd been playing.  His eyes large in his suddenly gray face, he tried for a bravado he obviously wasn't feeling.

 

"You queers make me sick, prancing around pretending to be men.  And I especially can't stand ones like you and your *partner*, dirtying the whole police force with your perversions."

 

If Hutch hadn't grabbed Starsky's raised right fist, Cruthers would have had his wish for new charges to be laid against Starsky.

 

"Starsky, don't give him the satisfaction."  Hutch's quiet voice in his ear shook Starsky's rage enough that he was able to let go of Cruthers' shirt and step away.  But there was still a red mist darkening his vision and his mind still echoed with the ugly words that the other man had thrown at him.  At Hutch.

 

Starsky slowly became aware of the silence in the foyer.  No talking, no clacking of typewriters, no footsteps.  Only the lonely ring of an ignored telephone told him that he hadn't lost his hearing in those few seconds when sanity fled.  The few seconds when Starsky had come closer to killing someone in hot blind fury than any time in his life. 

 

As his anger cooled to a point where he could think rationally again, Starsky realized that Hutch was still holding on to his fist even though it had dropped to his side.  Cruthers was up against the wall, staring at Starsky with a half-sneer that didn't really cover the fear lurking behind those cold brown eyes.  Inglehart stood to one side, uncertainty written large on his face.  And every person in the foyer was standing in shocked silence, staring at the four men.  Starsky looked at Hutch beside him and saw that one or two of the other officers behind him had their hands resting on their gun butts.  The sight of that did more to return Starsky to reason than anything.

 

"You okay, Starsk?"  Hutch sounded calm, and it was only because Starsky knew his partner so well that he caught the slight tremor in the other's voice.  Starsky didn't trust himself to speak yet.  Nodding, he took another step back from Cruthers and pulled his hand out of Hutch's loose grasp.  Holding his arms out in a non-threatening gesture, Starsky tried to look as harmless as possible.  The tension seemed to flow out of the room as everyone relaxed and someone answered the phone. 

 

"Now that that's over, will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"  A deep, angry voice drew Starsky's eyes towards the bank of elevators where a very angry looking man and a very shocked looking Karl were standing. 

 

Hutch stepped closer to his partner while Inglehart moved away from Cruthers.  Somewhere in Starsky's cop mind he noted it, recognized what it meant, and forgot it.  No one spoke.  Starsky and Hutch looked at each other then back to the two men approaching them.  Inglehart and Cruthers looked everywhere but at each other or the man who stopped in front of them.

 

"Well?  Is either one of you going to tell me why this man had Cruthers pinned against the wall?  And I saw, and heard, just enough before that to have an inkling but I'd really like to hear it from you two."  Neither of the Duluth detectives spoke. 

 

"Inglehart, I expect to be answered when I ask a direct question.  What was going on down here?" 

 

Inglehart's jaw clenched as he slid a glance over at Hutch and Starsky standing silently shoulder to shoulder.  "We were just talking to those two when Mr. Starsky attacked Cruthers without any provocation.  Sir."

 

Starsky laid a restraining hand on his partner's arm as he felt Hutch bristle beside him.  The man Inglehart had addressed as "sir" turned to look at the two LA detectives then back at Inglehart.  "Somehow I don't think that's quite what happened.  Cruthers, why don't you tell me why this man was ready to punch your lights out?"    

 

Cruthers had drawn away from the wall where Starsky had pushed him.  Straightening his tie and trying to smooth his shirt, he looked sullenly at the man who Starsky believed to be Captain Kardel.  Shooting a quick glance at his partner - who didn't meet his eyes - Cruthers shrugged, "Like Inglehart said, that...that person attacked me without any provocation."

 

Karl had moved to stand beside Starsky, taking a position on one side of him so that the two blondes flanked the dark-haired man.  Starsky looked at Karl and, tilting his head towards the man talking to the other detectives lifted an eyebrow in question.  Karl, understanding, nodded.  "That's Captain Kardel.  Just stay calm."  The attorney whispered quietly.

 

The captain shook his head at Cruthers, a deep frown marring the smooth features of his face.  "Get up to the squad, both of you.  I don't like being lied to, nor do I like what I overheard before Sergeant Starsky stopped you, Cruthers.  You wait for me up there.  We've a few things to discuss."  

 

Still not looking at each other, Inglehart and Cruthers moved to the elevators.  As they stepped into a waiting car, Cruthers shot Starsky a dark, promising look.  Starsky simply glared back thrusting his chin forward a bit in his best Brooklyn bad-boy style.  Karl's slight cough turned Starsky's attention back to his companions.

 

"Captain Kardel, this is David Starsky and Kenneth Hutchinson.  Gentlemen, this is Captain Kardel - Inglehart and Cruthers' commanding officer."  The LA detectives shook hands with the captain.  Kardel was somewhere in his early fifties, tall, fit, and with his graying black hair cut very short. 

 

"While I'm pleased to meet both of you, I really regret it's under these circumstances."  Kardel looked around at the foyer and its occupants who were all trying very hard not to stare at the group.  "I think we need to find a less public place to discuss this whole affair.  If you'll come with me?"  He headed towards the elevator and the others followed him.

 

***

The office the partners and Karl were ushered into was slightly less utilitarian than their own captain's but still obviously belonged to working police officer.  Captain Kardel gestured for the trio to take seats as he settled down in the large chair behind the desk. 

 

"I'd like to get right down to business.  The department is very embarrassed by this whole mess, as I'm sure you both can understand."  Kardel picked up a pencil and twirled it between his fingers.  "To have a highly decorated officer such as yourself, Sergeant Starsky, treated with such disrespect and subjected to the treatment you were is a slap in the face to the whole force.  I want to assure you that disciplinary action will be taken against both Cruthers and Inglehart.  I've spoken to the Chief, and his office is drafting a formal letter of apology to you, and a copy will go into the case file."  Kardel laid the pencil down on the desk blotter. 

 

"On a personal note, I'm also very embarrassed by the actions of my detectives.  I don't know Cruthers well enough to understand what's going on in his mind, but I do aim to find out.  As for Inglehart, I know he's not been happy with his present partner, but it's still no excuse for his allowing Cruthers' harassment of you, Sergeant.  He's the senior officer and has been in this department long enough to know my rules about treating suspects with dignity.  I am putting a personal reprimand in their files and have half a notion to put them on traffic duty for the next few months."  Starsky looked over at Hutch.  Both of them smiled at the shared memory of Dobey's oft-repeated threats of the same punishment.

 

"Captain, I want to thank you on both my partner's and my behalf.  Both Hutch and I have, uh - let's say - had personality conflicts with other officers before."  Starsky ran a hand through his hair, mussing the curls even more.  "I guess what's so strange this time is that your detectives seemed to take an instant dislike to both of us, and especially me, from the moment they met us.  At first, I had no idea why but between what was said Thursday and then today that little mystery has been cleared up for me.  I still don't know why either of them reacted that way from the beginning though."

 

"Yes, and I apologize for that.  I've had reports of them, especially Cruthers, being rather abusive to people based on assumed sexual orientation before.  Something I want to assure you is not departmental or my own policy.  The last time was with a witness that filed a complaint against Cruthers, which is why this incident with you is so disturbing."  Kardel pushed the pencil around the blotter for a moment, then continued.  "I understand that the two of you are here on vacation; a well deserved one I know.  Let me take a brief statement from you concerning this whole thing and you can get back to enjoying your time here."  Pulling a pad of paper from under some files, Kardel picked up a pen and sat ready for Starsky's statement.

 

The next hour passed fairly quickly.  Both Hutch and Starsky gave statements, which Kardel had his secretary type up.  After the partners read and signed their statements, they were free to go.  Kardel escorted the trio to the office door. 

 

"Gentlemen, don't worry any more about Cruthers and Inglehart.  They're both going to be far too busy to give you any more problems for a very long time.  At least until you go home."  Kardel grinned rather evilly prompting an answering grin from the partners.  The captain extended his hand for a round of hand shaking.  Karl and the partners left the captain's office with the feeling that the department was on their side, and that the two Duluth detectives were in deep trouble with their supervisors.

 

The journey down to the car was a quiet one, as was the trip back to Hutch's parents' place.  Starsky was just as happy that none of them felt like talking, because he was tired of the whole affair.  And more than a little embarrassed by his reaction to Cruthers' taunting.  Sitting in the front seat, watching the traffic go by, Starsky wondered at the reasons why he'd felt such anger towards Cruthers.  He knew that once he and Hutch made public the direction their partnership was taking there would be many people who would be as openly hostile to them.  He couldn't beat the tar out of every one and Hutch wouldn't always be around to stop him if he tried.  Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Starsky worried that maybe he wasn't having as easy a time accepting this change in his life as he had thought.  That maybe being gay - being Hutch's lover - wasn't going to be as simple and as beautiful as he had planned.  That maybe, just maybe, deep down he did not really want this whole life style after all.

 

Then a comforting hand rested on his shoulder and Starsky turned to look back at Hutch.  The look full of love, understanding, and promise his partner gave him drove all the doubts from Starsky's mind.  Laying his hand on top of Hutch's, Starsky smiled and settled back into the seat confidant that while life might never be easy, it would always be good as long as he had Hutch.

 

******

The rest of the day was spent in finishing the last of the packing, loading the full boxes onto the transport truck and unloading them again into the storage unit.  Richard had arrived home just before the truck did, and he drove the partners to the storage facility where the three of them made short work of organizing the unit.

 

Locking the door, Richard smiled at his son.  "Well, that's it.  If your mother and I aren't ready now, we never will be.  Ken, don't let me forget to put the keys into the envelopes I'm leaving with Karl and your sister."  Richard flung one arm around Hutch's shoulders and turned them both towards the waiting car.  He surprised Starsky by putting his other arm around Starsky.  "Come on, boys.  Let's go home and get cleaned up before the rest of the family comes over for dinner.  I'm really looking forward to this evening, Ken.  Both your mother and I have been excited at this chance to get to know your partner a bit better."

 

Starsky and Hutch exchanged glances.  Starsky could read the thought in his partner's face as clearly as if he'd said it out loud.  Both of them were wondering just how much Hutch's father would really enjoy knowing more about both of the partners and exactly what their partnership included. 

 

***

 

Dinner itself was to be a simple affair.  Mashed potatoes and gravy, three different kinds of vegetables plus a large salad.  But the best thing, in Starsky's opinion, was the huge roast of beef that was to grace the center of the table.  After they came back from the storage centre, Starsky had wandered into the kitchen to get a drink of water and see if he could snag something to tide him over until dinner.  Helen was in the process of taking the roast from the oven to turn it when Starsky walked in.  Seeing the look of delight that crossed Starsky's face, Helen cut a small piece off for him.  "Here, I hate to see a growing boy go hungry, especially when he's drooling all over my clean floor.  Do you think this roast will keep you and Ken in sandwiches for a few days after Richard and I leave tomorrow?"  She laughed at Starsky's eager nod and shooed him out of her kitchen.

 

At loose ends with the packing done and dinner still a couple hours away, Starsky went looking for his partner.  Wandering through the house on his search took him to rooms he had not seen yet.  Off the kitchen, he found the dining room ready for the evening with Irish linen on the oval oak table with place settings for eight.  Starsky admired the fine china and good crystal, vowing to himself that he would be extra careful not to spill anything at dinner.  Leaving the dining room, he next looked in the library where he lost himself in scanning the shelves, leafing through books, and looking at the family pictures intermixed with the leather bound volumes.  Starsky smiled when he found a picture of what had to be a young Kenneth in overalls, hanging on to a pumpkin almost as big as he was with a older man holding the pumpkin's stem.

 

"That's me and my grandfather when I was about seven."  Hutch spoke softly behind him.  Turning, Starsky was surprised to realize that his partner was standing so close.  Hutch held out his hand and Starsky gave him the picture.

 

"We'd planted the pumpkins together that year and Granddad told me I was responsible for taking care of them.  Every day after school in the spring and twice a day in the summer, I'd go out to the garden and make sure they were watered and pulled up any weeds that dared to spring up overnight.  This was the best one I grew, must have weighed almost thirty pounds.  We entered it in the Fall Fair and won fourth prize."  Hutch stroked the frame with his thumb.  "There were times over the years that I felt like Granddad was the only person who understood me."  He looked up into Starsky's eyes.  "At least that's how it felt until the day I met you, Starsk."

 

Starsky cupped Hutch's cheek in one hand.  "I wish I could have known your Grandfather, Hutch.  He sounds like a really good person."

 

Hutch pressed into Starsky's palm.  "Yeah, he was the best.  He'd have liked you, too.  Granddad had this way of seeing into people and drawing out the best in them.  He loved me, Starsk.  Loved me for me, not what he wanted me to be but for what I already was.  That's a rare quality.  The only other person I've ever known like that is you.  Guess that's why I love you so much, because you don't expect me to be anyone else but who I already am."

"Why would I want you to be anyone else?  You're perfect just like you are now.  A little weird, but that only makes you interesting."  Starsky grinned at the way Hutch's ears reddened and he had to fight down the desire to pull his partner into a ravishing kiss.  The hall door was open and who knew who might happen to wander by at any moment.  He settled for patting the fair cheek, rubbing his fingers along Hutch's jaw before dropping his hand.

 

Shaking his head, Hutch put the picture back on the shelf.  "I came looking for you to tell you to get ready for dinner.  Mom said that everyone is coming around six and it's almost five thirty now.  I'm finished upstairs and I'm going to go help Mom get things ready so you have the bathroom all to yourself." 

 

Starsky realized that Hutch had changed out of his dirty jeans and shirt and into a pair of dress pants, white shirt, and a pure blue sweater.  The sweater was one that Starsky had given him the Christmas before and it played up the color of Hutch's eyes and made his pale hair seem even more golden than usual.  Starsky looked down at his own dirty clothes and smiled ruefully at Hutch.  "Guess I should get cleaned up, hey?  Although nothing I put on is going to make me look half as good as you do."  Starsky reached out and put his hand on Hutch's waist.  "Actually, dinner isn't going to be half as appetizing as you are.  God, babe, you look good enough to eat." 

 

"Stop flirting and go get cleaned up."  Playfully putting on a disdainful air, Hutch looked down his nose at Starsky.  "Besides, you're all dirty and sweaty and I don't want my clothes mussed."

 

"I'll muss you, hotshot.  Just wait until later when we're alone and I'll show you mussed."  Starsky patted Hutch's side and ducked the hand that swung gently at his head.  "I'll be back down before you know it.  Just remember where we were for later, okay partner?"  Whistling nonchalantly, Starsky went upstairs leaving a rather flustered Hutch in his wake.

 

***

The meal was every bit as good as it had looked in the preparation stages.  Sitting at Helen's left, Starsky enjoyed the food, the excellent wine, and his partner's family.  To his left sat Katie and next to her, Karl, with Richard sitting at the head of the table, his son beside him, Liv next and lastly Dennis to Helen's right.  The conversations around the table varied from stories of the Hutchinson children's childhoods to news about family and friends.  Helen asked Starsky questions about his childhood in New York and that developed into a discussion about family traditions and how they differed between the WASP mid-west and Jewish New York.  If Starsky had not known what was coming, he would have felt far more comfortable.

 

"Well, why don't you children help me clear the table while Richard goes and lights the fire in the living room.  We'll have dessert and coffee in there."  Helen pushed her chair back from the table and all the men stood with her. 

 

Smiling at Katie, Starsky collected her plate and silverware as Hutch picked up the roast platter.  Starsky hoped that no one knew how nervous he was.  Hutch and he had agreed that once the family was mellow on dessert and the good brandy that was sure to follow that they would make their announcement.  The thought of standing up in front of all of Hutch's closest family and revealing the deep, dark secret that Starsky and his partner shared scared him half to death.  That fear made even the simple task of carrying dirty dishes into the kitchen deeply significant.  Starsky just hoped that this was not the last normal thing he would be allowed to do in this house after the evening was through.

 

Hutch scraped dishes and handed them to his mother to put into the dishwasher as Starsky ferried more in from the dining room.  Katie busied herself putting the leftovers into storage containers as Dennis supervised.  Richard and Karl had disappeared into the living room and Liv was on the phone with Rickie who was babysitting Katie's children.  The cheerful atmosphere in the kitchen was only momentarily interrupted by the doorbell, but Richard's "I'll get it," restored it again.  At least until the first sounds of voices raised in anger drifted down the hallway.

 

"Stay here."  Hutch ordered his mother and sister as he, Starsky, and Dennis headed for the front door.  As they got closer, the partners looked at each other as one of the voices became recognizable.

 

"Get out of my way, Hutchinson.  I told you I want to see that fag partner of your son's."  Cruthers stood swaying slightly in the doorway barred by a tense looking Richard.  Starsky noticed Karl on the phone in the living room, no doubt calling for reinforcements.

 

"Go home, Detective.  You're drunk and you have no business being here."  Richard was not budging an inch.

 

"I've every business being here.  Because of that queer Jew, I've been told to look for work elsewhere or face a reduction in rank.  No way in hell am I going to walk a beat again because of that limp-wristed little fag."  Cruthers' words slurred as he tried to get past Richard's long arm. 

 

"That's not our concern, Cruthers.  Now get out of here before you do something that we'll all regret."  Starsky shivered at the tone in Richard's voice.  It was one that Starsky recognized, having heard it many times in Hutch's voice when he was especially angry.  Starsky hoped Cruthers would realize what trouble he was courting and leave without pushing things further.

 

"Listen, Hutchinson.  Others in this town may be scared of you, but you don't impress me none."  Cruthers looked past Richard's shoulder, "I see you, Starsky.  Don't think you can hide behind these good upstanding citizens, you little queer.  Come out and face me like a man, even if you aren't one."  Hutch grabbed Starsky's arm when he made to answer Cruthers' dare.

 

"Don't, Starsk.  The guy's drunk."  Hutch sounded amazingly calm, but Starsky knew that his partner was every bit as angry as Starsky was.

 

"Yeah, let your 'partner' hang on to you.  Bet you like him hanging on to you."  Cruthers sneered and tried to push past Richard again.

 

"Cruthers, go home now and I won't report this to Captain Kardel."  Even Starsky could tell that Richard was rapidly losing patience with the drunk on his doorstep.

 

Cruthers pointed a shaking finger at Starsky but spat the words into Richard's face.  "That fag kike cost me my job and he's going to pay for it."  He pushed against Richard's unyielding body, trying to get past.

 

Starsky never could explain exactly what happened next.  The sound of tires screeching to a halt outside accompanied by a shout played background to the gasps in the hallway as Richard pulled himself upright.  "No one says something like that about my son."  His voice was cold and his right fist fast as he punched a startled looking Cruthers in the face.  The man stumbled back off the stairs and into Inglehart's arms.

 

Hutch was the first to reach the doorway.  He gently moved his father back from the door and stepped out onto the landing.  Starsky was right behind him.  Hutch looked down the stairs at the two other policemen.  "Inglehart."  The one word asked many questions.

 

Inglehart, arms locked around a moaning and bleeding Cruthers, looked up at Hutch.  "He'll be all right.  I figured he was going to do something stupid after Kardel got though with us, but I never expected him to do this."  Inglehart looked past Hutch to Richard.  "I'm sorry about this, Mr. Hutchinson.  I'll take him home and try to sober him up."  He sighed, looking at the bleeding man in his grasp.  "Although I should probably take him to the hospital first, but if I do that, it'll go on his record for sure."

"The bastard broke my nose."  Cruthers' slurring voice was not helped by the nasal quality of an almost assuredly broken nose.

 

"Cruthers, shut up.  You've done enough damage for one week."  Inglehart shook Cruthers by the back of the neck.  Looking imploringly at Richard he asked, "Is there any way I can persuade you not to say anything about this to our Captain?  Cruthers is in enough trouble as it is, and this kind of thing might just get him tossed into the clink for the night."

 

Starsky looked over his shoulder at Richard.  Karl was now standing beside his brother-in-law, a grim look on his face.  Dennis hovered, one hand on Richard's shoulder.  Richard glanced from Hutch to Karl, then at the two standing on the path.  "I should lay charges against him - he tried to force his way into my house, threatened a member of my family, and was verbally abusive to me.  Karl, what do you think I should do?" 

 

"It’s up to you, Richard, but I'd say let Inglehart take the man out of here.  We've got enough witnesses to support us if Cruthers tries to make an issue out of you striking him."  Karl gave Inglehart a measured look.  "I'm sure Inglehart will do what needs to be done to prevent a repeat of this little performance."

 

Inglehart grasped Cruthers arm tightly.  "Yes, sir, you can be assured that Cruthers won't be any more trouble.  I'll see to it myself.  Thank you."  He turned Cruthers toward the car at the curb with its motor still running.  "Mr. Hutchinson, I apologize on behalf of my partner and myself and assure you that he won't bother any of you again.  I'll send someone around for his car." 

 

The five men watched as Inglehart practically stuffed Cruthers into the front seat of the car and snapped the seatbelt tight.  Slamming the door, Inglehart went around to the driver's side, slammed that door too, and took off with a little more speed than was necessary.  Richard was the first to speak.

 

"Well, I don't know about you boys, but I sure as hell need a drink after that."  They all turned to look at him and he grinned ruefully at them.  "It's been a long time since I punched anyone's lights out.  Now I remember why.  My hand really hurts."  He held up his hand and examined it.  "I think I'm going to have bruises.  Damn." 

 

Starsky couldn't help grinning, remembering a few times when he'd hit someone with his fist and suffered for it afterwards.  "Try some ice, that usually works for me," Starsky consoled.

 

The five went back into the house to face the women gathered in the hallway.  Katie and Liv looked shocked, but Helen appeared scandalized.

 

"Richard Thorson Hutchinson, what were you thinking, hitting that fool like that?"  Richard glanced back at the other men and mouthed "Help" as Helen grasped his arm and pulled him towards the kitchen, berating him along the way.  Dennis grinned at his wife as he passed her, following his parents-in-law to the kitchen. 

 

Karl laughed.  "Well, I see my sister has matters well in hand.  Shall we go and have a drink, gentlemen?  And of course, gentlewomen?  I, for one, am in dire need of something at the moment."  Karl ushered the group into the livingroom where he oversaw the dispensing of alcohol, and other comforts to his family.

 

Starsky and Hutch ended up sitting beside each other on the smaller of the two couches in the room, and Starsky wondered if his and his partner's announcement wouldn't seem a little anti-climatic after all of this.

 

Dennis came back with a little smile for all and a hug for his wife.  "How's Daddy?"  Katie questioned him as he wrapped his arms around her.

 

"Oh, he's fine.  Your mom's reading him the riot act and wouldn't let me look at Richard's hand.  She said that it's just like the old days when your dad worked the docks and would come home bloody from some fight or other.  Helen said she'd patch him up, feed him, and he'd be ready for another go 'round.  Sometimes, my sweet, your mother simply amazes me."  Katie giggled at the expression on her husband's face.

 

By the time Richard and Helen rejoined the group, everyone was feeling more relaxed, with the exception of Starsky and Hutch.  Starsky knew that his partner was as tense as a tightly strung guitar string by the way Hutch kept running one-handed scales on his knee and by the tight set of his jaw.  Feeling a little quesy, Starsky tried to calm himself with too big of a sip of brandy, which only made him cough.  Hutch looked at him in affectionate disgust and patted Starsky's back until the coughing subsided. 

 

Starsky smiled grimly at his partner when Richard and Helen walked into the living room.  This was it; the next few minutes could mean the end of any kind of relationship for Hutch and his parents.  Starsky had never been more scared in his life.  Not even facing the gun aimed at him one cool Spring day was half as frightening as the prospect of facing these people he'd come to admire and - yes - even love and tell them that he was boffing their golden child.  For just a brief moment, Starsky wished that he had never acted upon his desires for Hutch.

 

Then Hutch looked at him, smiled that soft, sweet smile that turned Starsky's insides to mush and suddenly it didn't matter if they were booted out into the street.  Hutch loved him - David M. Starsky - sitting here in his second-best pair of slacks and a slightly snagged red sweater.  If Hutch could love him in spite of everything that Hutch stood to lose, then Starsky could be brave and stand beside his love to face whatever was going to come.

 

Helen had arrived in the room carrying a tray loaded with cookies and small pastries.  Richard followed her, looking slightly abashed and sporting a white bandage wrapped around his hand.  Helen placed the tray down on the coffee table in front of Starsky and smiled at her son and his companion.  "I thought that we'd forgo the coffee in light of the 'little incident' and just bring in some things that go nicely with drinks that I for one really could use."

 

Hutch almost leapt off the couch.  "Let me get you something, Mom.  What would you like?" 

 

"Some of your father's good brandy, dear.  We'll start with that and see how that does."  Helen smiled at Hutch and sat down beside her husband on the larger couch.  Liv and Karl had commandeered the chair near the fire, Liv sitting in the chair and Karl half on the large arm.  Katie and Dennis curled up together in the other chair, Katie in Dennis' lap, both looking very much in love.  Watching these people, with all their blonde, blue-eyed good looks, except for Dennis' equally handsome darkness, Starsky felt alien.  He hadn't felt so out of place since his first days in California as a boy.  Starsky felt rather like the ugly duckling trying to hang out with the swans - or was that ducks?  He never could keep those stories straight.

 

Sighing to himself, Starsky watched his partner wait on his parents.  Helen smiled up at Hutch as he handed her a brandy snifter.  She held his hand for a moment after taking the glass from it, then pulled him down to lay a kiss on his cheek.  Hutch's ears reddened, a sure sign of strong emotion.  Helen laughed lightly and let him go.  He moved on to his father, bringing him a snifter of his own.  Richard also smiled up at his son and murmured something that Starsky didn't catch.  These people all looked so good together, so right.  Starsky felt as if he were forcing his way into something he didn't quite understand and again felt the uneasiness of fear and nervousness.

 

Hutch came back to Starsky and stood looking down at him for a minute.  Then Hutch smiled, a brave little one that did nothing to hide the apprehension in those pale blue eyes.  "Well, partner?"  Hutch's voice was too low for anyone but Starsky to hear.  "Shall we?"  Hutch held out his hand.  Starsky looked at it for a moment, thinking that they could say nothing and no one would get mad, hurt, or disinherited.  But that was the coward's way out and neither of them were ever cowards when it came to the really important stuff.  Important stuff like each other.

 

"No time like the present, partner."  Starsky stood and took Hutch's hand, squeezed it hard then let go.  Carefully avoiding the table there, the pair walked to the center of the room and, standing shoulder-to-shoulder faced the family grouped around the crackling fire.

 

Hutch cleared his throat, a sound that turned every eye in the room to him.  "Mom, Da...ad, I - we - have something we need to tell you.  Tell all of you."  Starsky, hearing the stammer in Hutch's voice, stepped a little closer to his partner and laid his hand against Hutch's back. 

 

Richard lowered his glass, setting it on his knee as he looked at his son with polite interest.  "What is it, Ken?"

Hutch looked at Starsky who smiled reassuringly.  "I'm not exactly sure how to say this so I guess I'll just come right out and tell you.  Starsky and I...well, we're...for a long time now, we've felt....  Oh, damn."  Hutch ran a shaking hand through his hair leaving it every which way.  "Starsky and I are lovers and when we get back to LA, we're going to move in together."

 

Helen's smile was gentle.  "We've been wondering why you two kept separate places.  Seemed rather silly to us."  She took a sip from her glass, watching her son over the edge of it.

 

Starsky felt his mouth drop open.  He turned to stare at Hutch who looked just as flabbergasted as Starsky felt.  Hutch swallowed several times, his face suddenly pale after the red blush that had suffused the fair cheeks only moments before.  "You wondered?  How, what....  I don't understand."  Hutch stumbled, his voice shaking.

 

Starsky decided to take a stab at it.  "Helen, are you saying that you *knew* that Hutch and I are lovers?  And it doesn't bother you?  Not even a little?"  He felt the need to sit down, but none of the unoccupied chairs were close enough so he made do with leaning against Hutch.

 

"Of course, dear.  We've suspected for a very long time and then after you were hurt last year, we were sure of it.  As for it bothering us, I must admit at first we were somewhat upset by the idea, but we all know how much you mean to our son and his happiness has always been our main concern."  Helen took another sip of her brandy, her eyes kind as she watched the partners.

 

Hutch leaned harder against Starsky and for a moment Starsky thought his friend was about to faint.  Starsky sincerely hoped that Hutch wouldn't because Starsky wasn't so sure that he wasn't going to himself.  Slipping his arm around Hutch, Starsky gripped the blue sweater and tried to make sense of this sudden change of events.  "You'll have to excuse me for being so dense, Helen, but I'm really confused.  Why would you think we were lovers in the first place?"  Starsky glanced over at Katie and Dennis, feeling heartened by the supportive looks they gave him.  Starsky could just see Karl and Liv, but couldn't make out their expressions without turning around and at that moment he felt that Hutch needed him to stand very still so Hutch would have something to hold him up.

 

Richard answered Starsky's question, "Actually, we figured it out a long time ago, David.  Ken's letters home were always full of mentions of you and the things the two of you did together.  He very rarely wrote about anyone else except for a few people you worked with, but almost every line was either about you or about the two of you.  Over time, the tone of them changed.  You went from being just a friend he talked about to the most important thing in his life.  It would have taken someone a lot more obtuse than Helen and I to realize that he loved you a great deal."       

 

Starsky wasn't sure about the look on Richard's face; it was too much like the unfathomable one Hutch wore when he was really disturbed about something.  "I thought you'd be upset by this...uh...by Hutch and I being...."  Starsky looked to Hutch for help, suddenly at a loss on how to handle all this calm acceptance.  He'd been expecting anger, expecting bitter recriminations and condemnation.  Helen and Richard's almost flip attitude was definitely not what Starsky had been prepared for.

 

Hutch was staring at his parents as if he had never seen them before.  Starsky rubbed his hand against his partner's tense back and that seemed to break Hutch's trance.  Shaking himself Hutch moved away from Starsky.  Walking to the large couch, Hutch almost collapsed as he folded his long legs to sit on the coffee table in front of his mother and father.  Starsky was afraid to move, afraid to break whatever spell was over this room, so he remained as still as he could in the middle of the floor - alone.

 

"Why?  Why are you being so understanding about this?  Not that I'm not grateful, but it just doesn't seem logical that you'd so easily accept that I'm gay.  I mean, you've never accepted anything else I ever did without a fight, why this, why now?" 

 

Helen and Richard exchanged long glances, then Helen tilted her head giving her husband a look that clearly said, "go ahead."  Richard smiled grimly and looked back at his son sitting in front of him.

 

"Ken, when you were a boy, I had these dreams for you.  Plans that I'd made when you were still in the cradle of you being so much more than I ever could be.  When you started to change from the compliant little child that I loved into a rebellious teenager, then into a stubborn adult, I felt that you were being ungrateful for all the sacrifices your mother and I had made for you and your sister.  I know that I did and said things - terrible things - that hurt you.  For that, I'm more sorry than you'll ever know."  Richard dropped his eyes to look down into the brandy snifter still resting on his knee. 

 

"I guess it takes some of us longer to grow up than others.  Sometimes it takes almost losing something you love to make you understand just how much you loved it for itself.  When you moved away, after...well, after...I was so angry that I couldn't see how much my stupid pride had hurt you.  How much it hurt your mother and your sister because it kept you away from them.  Then one day you phoned and told me that you loved me.  Do you have any idea how that made me feel?  My son, the son I'd practically thrown out of my home and my life, phoning me from across country to tell an angry, bitter, stupid old man that he was loved.  And all because my son had almost lost the one person he loved more than anything."  Richard looked up at Starsky who had forgotten how to breathe listening to the older man bare his soul.

 

"It was all because Ken loved you so much, David, that he called me that day.  It was right after you had been posioned and almost died.  Ken was crying on the phone to me, telling me that he needed to tell me that he loved me because he'd learned how fast someone could be suddenly gone.  It wasn't until later, when I called your captain that I learned the whole story, learned that those people had planned to kill both of you and it was only the luck of the draw that they'd picked you first."  Richard swallowed and Helen laid her hand on his shoulder.

 

"I guess I never thought about it before -never *allowed* myself to think about it - that Ken could die doing the work he was doing.  All I had ever thought about was that he was defying me by being a policeman.  That he'd thrown everything I'd worked for back in my face by joining the force.  Over the years since that phone call, I came to realize that what Ken and you are doing is far more important than anything I ever did and I'm damn proud of both of you." 

 

Handing Helen his glass, Richard reached out and grasped his startled son's hand.  "Ken, I've been a stubborn, foolish person all these years, never telling you the things you really needed to hear.  I'm proud of you, proud of what you do.  I'm happy that you're happy.  If David is the person that gives you that, then that's what I want - what your whole family wants - for you.  Labels mean nothing.  I need you to know that I love and respect you, my son, and I always will." 

 

Starsky felt his eyes tear as he watched father and child stand and wrap their arms around each other.  If his life had only been to bring these two people together, then Starsky felt he'd lived well.        

 

***

 

Fortified with a fresh brandy and Hutch by his side, Starsky sat on the small couch trying to figure out what had just happened.  The transition from absolute terror to confused relief was a hard one to take.  The family almost ignored the two men, for which Starsky was very grateful.  It gave him a chance to calm down.

 

Richard and Karl were discussing something to do with land acquisitions and parks, while the women and Dennis were carrying on a conversation about the Hutchinson grandchildren.  Starsky watched in silent wonder, coming to terms with the idea that these people considered him part of their family and had for a long time.  That thought made him feel warm all over.

 

"Starsk?"  Hutch's quiet voice brought Starsky's attention back to his main reason for his feelings of belonging.  He looked into the eyes of the person he loved and felt happier than he could remember.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You okay?"

 

"Oh, yeah.  You?"  He wanted to reach out to touch Hutch's cheek, stroke back the errant lock of hair that had fallen down over Hutch's brows, but restrained himself.  No matter how accepting Hutch's family was of all the connotations of Starsky and Hutch's relationship, Starsky still felt shy about expressing that part of him in front of them.  Instead, he settled for a brief pat on Hutch's knee.

 

"A little shell-shocked, I guess."  Hutch kept his words low and meant only for Starsky's ears.  "I'm not much of a detective, though."  He laughed a little disparagingly.  "They were dropping hints right, left, and center about how they thought of us and I never picked up on any of them."  Hutch shook his head and grinned at Starsky.

 

Starsky stole a look at Richard then looked back at Hutch.  "Me neither.  I've been sitting here thinking about the last couple of days and things that your parents said.  I mean, I knew that Dennis knew about us, at least he thought that before I came out and told him the truth, but I honestly didn't think your parents knew anything."  He glanced over at Richard again.  "It suddenly struck me that I wasn't listening very good."

"What do you mean?  And why do you keep looking at Dad that way?"  Hutch laid his hand on Starsky's leg to regain his attention.  The smile that Hutch gave Starsky was quizzical, but had a quality to it that made Starsky's breath catch.

 

Matching gazes with those pale blue eyes, Starsky forgot what he was about to say for a minute.  Forgot that he was sitting in a room full of people and miles away from home.  For that moment he was back in Hutch's car reliving every emotion he had experienced when Hutch told him that he was loved.  Then Hutch moved the hand on Starsky's leg, rubbing gently back and forth, and Starsky was back in the present.  Starsky grinned into those knowing eyes.

 

"I got ta thinking about what your dad said to Cruthers right before he socked him in the nose."  Starsky chuckled a little evilly at the memory of Cruthers' startled expression as Richard's fist came towards him.  "Cruthers had just made that crack about my religion and Richard said something along the lines of 'you can't say that about my son' and popped the bastard.  Remember?"  Starsky waited for Hutch's nod before he continued.  "I thought - if I thought anything - that he was talking about you.  I've been sitting here thinking, and now I know he meant me when he said that, not you.  Your dad thinks of me as a son.  Do you have any idea how good that makes me feel?" 

 

Hutch's hand found Starsky's and held it fast.  "Yeah, I already knew he was fond of you, but I never thought about what it really meant until now.  That's one of the things that I meant by the hints they were dropping.  When we all figured you were going to be arrested, Dad called the lawyer who handles all his personal business and had him come over.  The four of us, Dad, Karl, Geoff - that's the lawyer, - and me got together to plan strategies.  You were upstairs still, and...well...at that moment I felt that we should figure out things without involving you."  Hutch squeezed Starsky's hand tight and the pain in his partner's face surprised Starsky.  "You still seemed so fragile, so vulnerable after that morning that I didn't want you having to think about worst case scenarios if you didn't have to.  At least not right then."

 

Hutch's gaze wavered and he dropped his eyes.  Starsky was sure that he had seen tears in his friend's eyes but did not want to embarrass him by reacting to it.  After a moment, Hutch looked back up and smiled a faint little smile.  "Karl told us that bail for you would be set very high because of the kind of charges that might be brought and the fact that you're from out of state.  It wouldn't matter to the court that you're a cop; the only thing they'd see was that you'd be a flight risk.  Dad knew that neither of us had the kind of cash to post bond on that kind of bail and he offered to loan us the money.  He even said he'd mortgage the house if he had to."

 

Starsky felt a flush of amazement and gratitude.  Here was an almost stranger who was willing to risk losing his home to bail out the friend of his son.  Not many would do that and it was further proof that Richard thought of Starsky as more than just someone his son worked with.

 

"He was ready to do that?  God, Hutch."  Words failed him so Starsky settled for grinning like a fool.  Hutch grinned right back and nodded.

 

"Yeah.  He told me he couldn't let you sit in jail when he had the resources to prevent it.  Geoff tried to talk him out of it, so did I, but he wouldn't listen."  Hutch looked embarrassed when he realized how what he had said sounded.  "I don't mean I didn't want you out, Starsk."

 

"I know."  Starsky patted Hutch's knee again and let his hand rest there.  "That must have been the conversation I heard when I came down.  I honestly tried not to listen, but I couldn't help hearing some of what you and your dad were saying."  It was his turn to feel embarrassed.

 

Hutch grinned good-naturedly.  "I knew you were lurking on the stairs, buddy.  And you mean the *argument* you overheard.  It's okay; it wasn't a very heated one.  I was trying to make Dad understand that you are my responsibility, not his, but he talked me down."  Hutch glanced over at his father.  "My dad can still surprise me at times.  There were years there when I honestly thought he didn't like me much, didn't understand me at all.  Boy, was I wrong.  About a lot of things."  Hutch's face had a sad, lonely look that cut Starsky to the bone.

 

Giving in to the impulse to touch his friend, Starsky reached up and gently pushed the lock of hair that had been bugging him back off of Hutch's forehead.  Hutch turned his eyes back to Starsky's.  "Hutch, none of us go through life without making mistakes or misreading the people who love us the most.  Hell, look at us.  We certainly have screwed up royally with each other a time or two.  When you truly love someone, it's inevitable that there's going to be hurt feelings and misunderstandings, but if you really love them, you'll forgive them.  And forgive yourself."

 

"How come I always forget how wise you are, my friend?"  Hutch's smile was rueful.

 

"Hey, I come from a long line of wise people.  We learn to hide it very young so as not to make you normal mortals feel inadequate."  Starsky grinned at Hutch's laugh.  Dropping his voice, Starsky continued, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"  Hutch stared at him and shrugged.

 

"Yeah, I think so.  Probably about half as much as I love you."

 

"Nah, couldn't be possible."  Starsky wished they were alone so he could give in to his desire to gather Hutch into his arms and kiss him until neither of them could breathe.  A sudden change in the level of the background conversation woke Starsky just as he was reaching for his partner.

 

Both men smiled in flushed and embarrassed amusement as they realized what they had almost done in front of everyone.  Starsky and Hutch stood as Karl and Liv did.

 

"Well, I guess we'd better be going," Karl said.  "I've got a case on Monday that I need to prepare for, and you need to be getting some rest before you begin your great adventure."  He hugged Helen, then turned towards Richard, and extended his hand.  "You two have a great time.  We expect at least a postcard a week and one good long letter a month."  Both men smiled at each other, Starsky struck once again by the work genes did in the way Richard's brow furrowed and Karl's eyes crinkled at the corners just like Hutch's did when he smiled. 

 

Richard clasped Karl's hand, then pulled him into an one-armed hug.  "Take care of things while we're gone, and keep an eye on these kids of mine.  You never know what mischief they'll manage to get into without their parents around to run herd on them."  Everyone laughed at Katie's disgusted "Dad!"  And the Lundstroms left in a flurry of good-byes and well-wishes.

 

Dennis and Katie were the next to take their leave.  "I won't see you tomorrow before you leave as I have rounds way too early in the morning."  Dennis said as he hugged both of his parents-in-law.  He said a few quiet words to Richard and held Helen for a few minutes.  Starsky was quietly amused to see Dennis wipe at his eyes when he let his wife's mother go.  "Uh, I'll think I'll go warm the car up."  Dennis clapped Starsky on the shoulder as the doctor quickly left the room. 

 

Katie leaned up against her father as she spoke to Hutch.  "I'll bring the kids and Rickie over to say goodbye in the morning then I'll come back with the station wagon about eleven.  The flight leaves after two, but with Mom and Dad having to take so much stuff along, we should try to get them there as early as possible." 

 

"Good idea.  I know how long customs can take, especially with such desperate looking customers as these two."  Hutch grinned at his sister and parents as he put his arm around Helen's shoulder.  Starsky loved the way the four of them looked together - all that blond hair and blue eyes made him slightly dizzy with the beauty of it.  He quietly took his leave, wanting to allow the family their privacy.

 

********

 

Starsky was ready for bed by the time Hutch came upstairs.  Showered and dressed in his favorite blue pajamas, Starsky sat on the edge of Hutch's bed thinking.  He turned towards the door when Hutch opened it and smiled.  "Hi, Katie and Dennis get off okay?"

 

"Yeah.  How come you left?"  Hutch kicked off his shoes and pulled the blue sweater off over his head, leaving his fine hair sticking up in static-charged tufts.  He patted at the strands, but they resisted his attempts.

 

"Oh, I thought maybe you and your folks needed a few minutes alone.  Besides, I'll be seeing everyone in the morning so I figured I'd just come up and get ready for bed before you got here to hog the bathroom.  Starsky grinned at his partner.  Why is it every time I look at him, he's more beautiful?  Starsky's thought wandered through his mind as he watched Hutch undress.  The shirt and pants quickly joined the sweater where it lay on the chair.  Standing clad only in his undershorts, Hutch stood and smiled softly at Starsky.

 

"You planning on sitting there staring at me all night or are you going to get into bed?  I'll only be a few minutes in the bathroom and then you can show me what you meant by that comment you made in the library earlier."  Hutch's smile turned slightly lascivious.

 

Starsky didn't move from his spot on top of the unturned down bed.  "Uh, Hutch, I've been thinkin'."  He swallowed hard when his voice cracked on the last word.

 

"That's never a good sign.  What were you thinking?"  Hutch stepped closer to the bed and ran his hand down the side of Starsky's head, ruffling the curls.  Starsky leaned into the stroking for a moment then sat upright again.  He tried not to notice the relative positions of his face and Hutch's groin, nor the quite obvious bulge under the white underwear at eye height.

 

Tearing his eyes away from where they'd been staring, Starsky looked up into Hutch's face.  Oh, damn it anyway.  "Thinkin'?  I've been thinking that you've got a really nice family.  That they all seem to love you and they even seem to love me because you do.  We're awfully lucky, partner.  Some people wouldna never be able to accept the fact that we love each other the way we do.  Some might even have told us to take a hike and don't look back."  Starsky slowly stood, using the body so close to his to lean against on his ascent.  "Been sittin' here thinking that I love you so much that sometimes I feel like I'm goina go blind just looking at you, or die kissing you."  He matched action to words and folded himself around his lover and kissing him until both of them had to gasp for air.  Leaning his head against Hutch's chest, Starsky smiled at the rapid heartbeat he could hear beneath his ear.  "Yeah, just like that.  A person could die happy doing that."

 

Hutch wrapped his arms more tightly around Starsky.  "I know, Starsk, I know.  I find myself looking at you and wondering what the hell I did that was so wonderful to deserve you loving me.  Even if we never did anything but go on like we've always been, I'd be happy simply because I know you love me.  I've gotten awfully used to having your nice warm body cuddled up to me, though, and I know I wouldn't ever be able to sleep again if you weren't in bed with me."

 

Looking into Hutch's loving eyes, Starsky felt as if he had been given a wondrous gift.  "You going to go get ready for bed there, boy?  I've a few things in mind beside cuddling, ya know."

 

Hutch grinned back, "Oh, yeah?  What you got in mind?"

 

"A little of this, a little of that.  Nothing to scare the neighbors or your parents.  But you just wait until your parents are gone and we're all alone in this big ol' house.  I'll show you a trick or two.  Matter of fact, you may just wish that they'd left a whole lot sooner."  Grinning, Starsky reached up with both hands and pulled Hutch's face down for a long and languid kiss that left both of them flushed.

 

"Damn you, Starsk.  You're going to kill me even before we do any of you 'a little of this' stuff, kissing me like that.  I think I'd better go take a cold shower or you might not get the chance to show me any of your tricks.  I'll disintegrate first."  Hutch slapped Starsky affectionately on the rump as Hutch slipped around his partner and into the bathroom.

 

Grinning to himself, and wondering if maybe they could be really, really quiet, Starsky pulled down the covers on the bed and crawled in.  He got out again and began to take of his pajamas, then thought better of it.  It might be fun having Hutch undress him.  Crawling back in the bed again, he tried to ignore the tantalizing sounds of Hutch and the running shower.  Settling back against all the bed's pillows, Starsky entertained himself with thoughts of a long lean body wrapped around him and golden head leaning over him.  And waited, most impatiently for the water to turn off.

 

*******

 

Afternoon sunlight lay across the floor of the bedroom and dazzled against the mirror on the closet door.  Starsky stood looking inside that closet, wondering what he should leave out to wear the rest of their stay and what he should pack away.  The clothes he had worn the day before while shifting boxes around were grimy and he wondered if he should wash them before putting them in his suitcase.  Maybe he should just go ahead and throw his dirty jeans and stuff in the washer.  He hated the thought of putting clothes this filthy in with his clean ones.  Besides, they were going to be washing the sheets and such before they left anyway.

 

Picking up one of his clean shirts from where it had fallen to the closet floor, Starsky idly folded it, thinking of Hutch.  Missing Hutch.  C'mon babe.  How long can it take to get your folks on that plane?  Starsky looked at his watch.  Only a couple of hours had gone by since Hutch piled his sister, their parents, and a ton of luggage into Katie's station wagon for the trip to the airport.  Knowing he was being impatient did not help Starsky at all.  He needed Hutch here, not waving goodbye to Richard and Helen.

 

Looking down at the shirt in his hands, Starsky realized he had twisted it around while thinking about Hutch.  Tossing the now very crumbled shirt on the chair, Starsky felt drawn to the window and the light streaming through it.  He stood with his forehead resting against an almost too warm windowpane and stared down at the yard below.  The casement was open just enough to allow the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves on the large oak to find its way into the room and Starsky sniffed appreciatively at the smell of green growing things.  Somewhere close a lawn mower rumbled, the scent of the fresh cut grass mixing with the bite of gasoline, but it was an enticing scent and Starsky filled his lungs with it.  

 

The sound of a footfall in the hallway outside his door alerted Starsky to the return of his partner.  Perversely, Starsky did not feel like turning around to watch Hutch come into the room; so he stayed where he was, dark hair shadowing his eyes as he watched a squirrel forage amongst the petunias planted around the base of the oak tree.  He smiled to himself as a hand touched him on the shoulder and a gentle kiss brushed the nape of his neck.

 

"Hi, honey, I'm home."  Hutch's teasing voice whispered in Starsky's ear, the warm breath tickling just a bit.  Starsky loved the way Hutch's mouth felt as Starsky tipped his head to caress against the lips doing distracting things to his neck.  Wanting more, Starsky turned enough so he could capture those lips with his own.  Hutch sighed and gathered Starsky closer.

 

The kiss they shared started out soft and sweet, but quickly transformed into something closer to desperate.  The quiet lovemaking they had shared the night before had only served to heighten Starsky's need for his mate until Starsky felt consumed by it.  The taste of Hutch's lips, the way they felt against his own, heated Starsky's blood until he was overwhelmed by the pleasure of Hutch's body against him.  Starsky's knees wanted to fail him - drop him to the floor and drag Hutch down with him.  He wanted to take Hutch there, in the spill of light and warmth on the carpet, to bury himself in the golden flesh he knew was hidden beneath Hutch's jeans and cotton shirt.  Become one with this creature he loved more than he ever thought he could love.

 

Hutch had his own agenda, though.  Strong arms held Starsky in place, wrapping around him in a firm embrace, as Hutch's kiss became more urgent.  Starsky heard himself moan against the onslaught but could not pull away from Hutch's lips or resist the tongue that worked its way into his willing mouth.  He barely registered the backward movement as Hutch pushed against him.  It was almost a shock when Starsky's leg bumped into the bedstead and a sound - mixed of equal parts surprise and need - escaped from him.  

 

Knowing hands moved from where they had been stroking his back to start the process of undoing Starsky's shirt buttons.  Hutch's lips released Starsky's and Hutch stepped back just far enough that he could see what his agile fingers were doing.  Starsky held on to Hutch's waistband, his fingers bending the belt's leather in an attempt not to fall over backwards. 

 

Watching Hutch's intense expression as the blond worked the shirt open, Starsky knew that he was grinning like a fool in anticipation.  "Hey.  You need a hand there, babe?"  He teased as Hutch's fingers fumbled with one of the buttons and Hutch cursed lightly in frustration.

 

Hutch looked up at Starsky's grin and frowned.  "I'll let you know when I need your hand, my love.  Now you just be quiet and let me work here."

 

"Oh, I love it when you get demanding."  Starsky vamped, batting his eyelashes and speaking in a really bad falsetto.  "You just let me know what you want, big boy." 

 

Hutch growled deep in his throat, his frown deepening into a mock scowl, his hands clenching on Starsky's shirtfront.  "Oh, I'll let you know what I want.  First I want this..." he pulled Starsky closer and took his lips in a fierce kiss.  "Then I want this..." Hutch moved down Starsky's face to his neck and nibbled the skin there, making Starsky squirm at the almost tickle.  Raising his head, Hutch leered at the man in his arms.  "But mostly I want this..." a firm but gentle hand wormed its way between the two bodies and latched on to Starsky's denim confined erection.  Starsky gasped as the big hand blatantly stroked and fondled him. 

 

"Damn, Hutch.  Stop that or you're going to be awfully disappointed."  Starsky managed to grind out the few words while trying to regain some of his equilibrium.  He sagged against the hand holding him, his knees truly failing him this time.  Hutch caught the slumping body in time to keep Starsky from falling.  Chuckling wickedly, Hutch removed his hand from Starsky's groin and placed it under Starsky's arm.  "Hang on to me, buddy, I'm not finished with you yet."  Kissing Starsky again, Hutch finished with the shirt buttons and slipped the shirt off of Starsky's shoulders.

 

It was only a matter of moments until Hutch had Starsky half-naked and dizzy with both desire and lack of air.  A gentle push was all it took for Hutch to have Starsky flat on his back on the bed.  Watching Hutch stare down at him, Starsky felt a bit dazed by the quicksilver change in his usually reserved partner.  This was a totally new side to Hutch that Starsky had never suspected.  The look on Hutch's face alone was foreign enough to worry Starsky just a little - a look combined of passion, wantonness, and an almost feral hunger.  The way Hutch was staring at him reminded Starsky eerily of a big cat watching a cornered mouse, waiting for it to take a chance and make a break for freedom.  Starsky had seen that once - the desperate little mouse bolting for covver and the cat languidly putting out a paw full of sheathed claws, catching its prey before it had gotten more than two steps away.    

 

Swallowing, Starsky looked up into Hutch's face, hoping he would see something of his old, gentle partner.  The lover he had come to know in their quiet and secret trysts.  Instead, the eyes staring down at him were hooded, the pupils large and dark, the pale irises narrowed to thin bands.  The skin over Hutch's cheeks looked flushed; his lips were red from the kisses he and Starsky had shared.  Then Hutch moved - all liquid grace and fluid motion - to kneel over Starsky.

 

Knees on either side of the captive man beneath him, Hutch leaned forward and cupped Starsky's face between his hands.  "Do you have any idea what wanting you is like?  How I felt watching you across the kitchen table this morning as you laughed at that silly joke of Dad's and knew that in a few hours we'd be here, like this?  To know that this was the first day we would be entirely alone with no one to bother us, no one to interrupt or need us?  To know that finally, finally, you are mine and mine alone.  Do you?  Do you."  Hutch's hair fell around his face, casting shadows over the lean features, causing Starsky's breath to freeze in his lungs and his heart to falter in its rhythm. 

 

Shaking his head slowly side to side, Starsky felt mesmerized by the raw need in the soft, silky words brushing against his skin.  Felt overpowered by the naked desire radiating from the man crouched over him.  Hutch's hands hypnotized Starsky as they stroked familiarly down the recumbent body on the bed.  All Starsky could do was watch in a fog of his own desire as Hutch tilted his head to watch as his sure, musician's hands undid the buckle on the belt looped around Starsky's waist.  As gentle and surprisingly steady fingers released the button and zipper holding the fly shut.  All Starsky could do was try not to beg as his too long confined cock was rescued from its prison and set free. 

 

Hutch glanced back up at Starsky's face when Starsky gasped as Hutch ran a fingertip down the shaft between them.  "You like that?"  Starsky shuddered and attempted to nod even though he felt as if his body was no longer under the control of his mind.  "Good."  Hutch's smile was scary and loving and sensual all at once.  "How about this?"  He continued to question Starsky as the fingertip was joined by its siblings and Hutch's hand closed around Starsky's cock, gently holding it.  Starsky's hips bucked a little, pushing up into the warmth encasing the flesh that ached for something only Hutch could provide. 

 

"Shh, my love.  Be patient.  We'll get to that in just a minute."  Hutch soothed.  Releasing Starsky, Hutch slid back down off of Starsky's legs and stood once again beside the bed.  "First, we need to get rid of some of these encumbrances."  Hutch slowly pulled Starsky's jeans down his legs and off, and dropped them on the floor.  Starsky placed one foot flat on the mattress, letting the other leg dangle off the edge of the bed as Hutch began to take off his own clothes.  Watching the slow, languid movements as Hutch removed his shirt, Starsky felt as if he had finally found the one thing that he might never survive - Hutch's need for him, Hutch's desire to lie down beside him and do things to Starsky's body that no one had ever even thought of doing.  While Starsky desired the same thing with every cell in his body, he shivered a little in something close to fear.

 

It was all so new, so strange.  It terrified him to be loved, to be needed so badly and to love and to need so badly in return.

 

Starsky needed to contain things just a little.  To restrain his own emotions that threatened to overpower him and to gain some control over Hutch's as well.  "Hutch?"  Starsky rolled to his side and leaned on one elbow, holding back the moan that threatened to escape him when Hutch turned intense eyes on him as the blond calmly pushed his pants off lean hips and kicked them aside.  "Hutch, I love you, ya know."  The statement didn't come out the way Starsky had meant it to.  He had wanted it to be calming words, soothing words; an assertion that would make them both take a deep breath and look rationally at what they were doing.  The simple vow had just the opposite effect on the man standing there.

 

Hutch grinned down at Starsky.  The grin did nothing to reassure the man on the bed.  For a brief moment, Starsky contemplated escape, to follow the example of the little mouse and run for cover.  As if Hutch had read Starsky's mind, the blond was on him.  Large, firm hands pushed down on Starsky's shoulders, Hutch's knees pressed against either side of Starsky's waist, holding him tight.  Hutch leaned over Starsky; his face only inches away.  "I know you love me, Starsk.  It's the one constant in my life that I have always known.  And I've always loved you, but never as much as I do at this moment."  Hutch lowered his head and lay gentle lips against Starsky's. 

 

Starsky wrapped his arms around Hutch as lips and tongue laid claim to his.  Tongues waged a short-lived battle, each giving and taking in a dance that left Starsky's head spinning and both of them gasping for air as Hutch raised up just enough to release Starsky's mouth.  Hutch stroked Starsky's face with one hand, playing with the dark curls around Starsky's ear, until the hand ended up cupped under Starsky's chin.  "God, you're beautiful."  Hutch whispered, dropping a tiny kiss on the chin in his hand. 

 

Taking advantage of his partner's moment of inattention, Starsky twisted one leg around Hutch and flipped them both over so that Starsky was now on top.  Laughing into Hutch's startled face, it was Starsky's turn to kiss and nibble his way over Hutch's lips and down the opaque skin to fasten on to Hutch's neck, nipping at the soft skin there.  Hutch bucked up against Starsky, trying to dislodge the limpet holding him down.  "No, no, my dear Hutch.  It's my turn now."

 

"Starsky."  Hutch tried to threaten but his voice held no hint of violence.  Starsky shook his head, grinning, and returned to his oral survey of Hutch's throat.  Long minutes passed until Starsky was satisfied that he had tortured Hutch long enough.  Moving downward, Starsky licked at the smooth skin, marveling at how right it felt to do this to this most male of men.  Flicking his tongue at a nipple, Starsky felt a small thrill of gloating as Hutch gasped.  It was heady knowledge, this realization that he could do this to Hutch.  To discover that it was in his power to make Hutch moan and whimper in want. 

 

Starsky's gloating was his undoing, however, as Hutch once again gained the upper hand and flipped them over, resuming his former position straddling Starsky's waist.  The grin Hutch gave Starsky was more than feral this time: it bordered on merciless.  It was Starsky's turn to whimper as Hutch took him in a blinding kiss, then bit gently on Starsky's neck.  The voice in his ear was gentle, but it was almost threatening.  "Playtime's over, babe.  Now we get serious."

 

Serious?  What the hell does he call what we've been doing?  Starsky would have asked the words out loud, but Hutch never gave him a chance.  The hand that had so brazenly fondled him when he was fully dressed found its victim again and Starsky almost blacked out when all the blood in his brain seemed to rush to his groin.  Arching up into the warmth that held him, Starsky let out a long, trembling moan and would have gleefully killed Hutch for his wicked laugh if only Starsky had the strength.  Or been free of that oh-so-pleasurable hand doing things to him that made Starsky want to scream in delight and curse pleadingly.

 

"Damn, Hutch."  Starsky was not sure he had even said the words aloud as Hutch's hand stroked and teased.  But he knew that the sound he made as Hutch took the head of the captive cock into his mouth was vocal.  And loud.  "God, Hutch."  Starsky shuddered as Hutch's tongue licked at the vein on the underside of Starsky's shaft, while Hutch's lips gently held Starsky. 

 

Starsky needed to touch Hutch; needed to feel the soft, silky skin under his fingers.  Reaching out, Starsky caressed Hutch's side - stroking shoulder, chest - everything he could reach.  It wasn't enough.  Finding Hutch's arm, Starsky pulled at Hutch until the blond looked up, letting go of Starsky.  "Hutch, I'm so close.  Ease up on me, babe.  Please."

 

"But I don't want to ease up on you, my love.  I want to love you until you're screaming.  Love you until you can't take any more.  Love you the way I've dreamed of loving you for far too long."  Hutch crawled upwards until he could look down into Starsky's eyes.  "I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved."  Hutch lowered his head and kissed Starsky's mouth leaving no doubt that he meant exactly what he promised.

 

Starsky felt his resolve slipping and tried again to reason with his partner.  Stroking Hutch's cheek with a not-too-steady hand, Starsky pleaded,  "You're not letting me do what I want for you.  You've got to be as hot as I am.  Tell me what I can do for you, babe.  Let me show you how much I love you, too." 

 

Hutch sat up a little, not quite lowering all his weight on to Starsky, for which Starsky was very thankful.  The other man was positioned so that Hutch's crotch was right over Starsky's.  A pleasant enough sensation, but any more pressure and Starsky knew he would fall apart.

 

Hutch stared deeply into Starsky's eyes, so deep that Starsky felt as if his partner was inside of his mind.  Hutch was silent for a moment and Starsky knew that the blond was planning something.  Starsky was just not sure what Hutch was thinking now.  He did wish that Hutch would hurry up, but also not move.  Hutch had settled downwards a little more and his ass now brushed against Starsky's erection in an almost too agreeable way.  Starsky was finding it hard to concentrate on not allowing his hips to move, to not think about allowing his cock to nestle into the inviting cleft hovering so close.  Trying very hard not to give in to the urge to push upwards into the enticing body on top of him.

 

Hutch moved a little, his eyes widening as Starsky's far-too-happy erection prodded at the flesh of Hutch's backside.  Hutch smiled knowingly down at Starsky, "So, partner - love of mine - what is it you want to do for me?  Hmm?"  Hutch leaned forward again, no longer making contact with Starsky's cock.  "What do you think you can do for me?"  Hutch kissed Starsky, using gentle nips from his lips and teasing licks of tongue to further drive Starsky to the edge of reason.  Hutch released Starsky's mouth, and in a sudden move, dropped his ass down so that Starsky's erection was caught between the two men.  "Tell me, Starsk.  Tell me what you can *do* for me."

 

In a move that surprised Starsky every bit as much as it did Hutch, Starsky wrapped arms and legs around his partner and rolled over so that Hutch was on the bottom.  The position was not very comfortable - Hutch's knees were at strange angles and his hips were raised awkwardly - but Starsky did not care.  His cock was still between Hutch's ass cheeks and Starsky knew exactly what he wanted to do *for* Hutch.  For them both.

 

Looking down into the startled blue eyes staring up at him, Starsky grinned.  He was sure that his grin was every bit as wanton as Hutch's earlier smile had been and Starsky loved the feeling.  "I'll tell you, buddy boy, what I want to do to you.  I want to be inside of you, feel your body wrap itself around me and hold on tight.  I want to take you and love you until you can't breathe, until you can't think, or hear, or see.  I want to love you until neither of us can take any more and we come at the same time."  Starsky dropped a kiss on Hutch's chin, the only part of Hutch's face that Starsky could reach without hurting himself or his partner.  "That's what I want to do."  He tilted his head, freed one hand, and stroked Hutch's sweaty hair off of the fair forehead.

 

"So, partner mine.  How does that sound to you?"  Starsky realized that he was holding his breath.  Silently, he begged Hutch to say yes, to allow this one final test of trust and love.  Begged with all his heart and soul.

 

TBC

 

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