False Accusation
- chapters 26 - 28 (end)
by Lutra Cana (21/12/2000)
Starsky stared
into Hutch's eyes, trying to decipher the thoughts behind those beautiful eyes
that Starsky knew he had loved since the day he met Hutch. For just a brief moment, Starsky felt
scared, that maybe Hutch didn't want this as much as Starsky had thought. Then a slow, sensual smile grew on Hutch's
face and the blond reached up an unsteady hand to lie against Starsky's head.
"God, I
thought you'd never say it. I've wanted
you physically inside me for so long.
After all, you've been inside my heart for all of my life." Relaxing under Starsky's body, Hutch wrapped
a leg around Starsky's hips and pulled him down. Their lips met again.
Starsky did not know if it was the kiss that took his breath away or
Hutch's desire, he simply enjoyed the feeling running through him thick and
warm as heated honey.
With the promise
of it lying between them now, the burning need to join with each other settled
into comforting warmth as they lay in each others arms. Starsky gave himself to exploring Hutch's face
and body with lips and hands. Hutch, in
turn, ran loving caresses over every inch of Starsky that he could reach
without releasing the gentle hold he maintained with his leg around Starsky's
hips. Finally, Starsky pulled away from
Hutch's lips and gazed into his partner's eyes.
"I want you
so much, my love. Let me go for a
minute." Starsky pushed up against
Hutch's restraining leg, but Hutch wouldn't let him go.
"Where you
think you're going?" Hutch twined
long fingers into Starsky's hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Starsky gave himself to the seduction of
Hutch's lips against his own, almost purring as Hutch's hand stroked Starsky's
hair then moved down his body again.
Starsky smiled
against Hutch's mouth, "I need to go get something, but ya got to let me
up." He murmured into the mouth
under him, thinking that it was oddly exciting to breathe the same air as his
partner.
"Only if
you promise to come right back."
Hutch whispered, his hands stilling in their investigation of Starsky's
ass cheeks.
"Always. Now let me go, you big lug." Starsky dropped a quick kiss on Hutch's nose
as the blond dropped his leg and released Starsky as he asked. Except Starsky didn't immediately
leave. He slowly worked his way off the
bed and off Hutch, one lazy, teasing kiss at a time, until he reached Hutch's
cock. Grinning at his partner, Starsky
stopped there and caressed the erection, eliciting a drawn-out moan from
Hutch. "Hmm, maybe I'll just stay
here and forget about the other for a minute." Starsky lowered his head until his lips barely touched the warm
flesh. "Or two." He took as much of Hutch's length into his
mouth as he could without choking and licked at it with gentle strokes of his
tongue.
Up to this point
in their lovemaking, Starsky had only touched his partner's cock with hands and
gentle fingers. In his life, Starsky
had never touched a man's erection with his mouth and he prayed that he knew
what he was doing. Remembering how it
felt when Hutch had taken Starsky into his mouth, he tried to duplicate what he
had experienced, but was afraid he would fall far short.
"God,
babe." Hutch's moan and the way
his whole body trembled reassured Starsky that even if he did not know what he
was doing, Hutch was certainly appreciative of the effort. Settling down to the task of pleasing his
partner, Starsky was surprised to discover that the act was as tantalizing to
him as it was to Hutch. Listening to
the moans and little hisses that Hutch made caused Starsky's own erection to
respond and Starsky had to pull back from what he was doing or he would have
climaxed right then. And that was the
last thing he wanted to do.
Gasping, Hutch
rolled over on to his side and reached down a shaking hand to touch Starsky's
head where it rested against Hutch's leg.
"I sure hope you don't plan on leaving me like this, Starsk. I'd have to kill you for it, when I can see
straight again that is." Hutch's
fingers stroked gently through Starsky's hair, reaffirming Starsky's knowledge
that Hutch really would not hurt him for any transgression, not even this one.
"Had to
stop, I didn't want to get there without ya." Starsky lifted his head, regretting that it meant that Hutch's
hand lost its place in the dark curls.
"I'll be back. Don't go
anywhere." Starsky managed to grin
up at Hutch, the grin widening when Starsky saw the condition his usually
composed partner was in. Patting
Hutch's flank, Starsky crawled the rest of the way off the bed and amazed
himself when his legs managed not to tremble as he walked to the bathroom.
Hunting out his
shaving kit, Starsky emptied out the little bag and found what he was looking
for. Grabbing up a couple of towels, he
returned to the bedroom, stopping for a moment in the doorway to admire the
scene before him. Hutch had shifted
around until he lay lengthways down the center of the bed and arranged the
pillows into a pile beneath his blond head.
The nearest leg, bent at the knee, barely hid Hutch's still prominent
erection from view. The smile on
Hutch's face was teasing and sensual, soft and loving all at once. Starsky swallowed hard and tried not to also
swallow his tongue in the process.
"Well, are
you going to stand there all day or are you coming back to bed?" Hutch leered at the mesmerized man, causing
Starsky to shiver in response.
Slowly, oh so
slowly, Starsky came to Hutch. The
strut he used was one that he knew made Hutch crazy. It was the same one Starsky always used when he wanted to show
off or make someone, usually Hutch, angry.
But this time there was no pretension in it. Starsky meant it to be sensual - provocative. Meant it to rattle Hutch, drive him a little
mad and by the look on Hutch's face, it worked like a charm.
Maybe it worked
just a little *too* well. Starsky
barely had time to realize that he might have gone too far when Hutch surged up
and grabbed Starsky by the arms when he stopped beside the bed. Towels and the small tube from the kit flew
one way and Starsky the other as Hutch pulled Starsky down on the bed.
Covering his
surprised victim with his body, Hutch smirked almost malevolently down at
him. "Did anyone ever tell you
that you are a cock-tease, my dear partner?" Hutch did not give Starsky a chance to answer as Hutch bent down
to kiss his lover hard enough and long enough to make Starsky see stars. Panting, Hutch eased up on his quarry. "So, is this thing all for show or do
you plan on doing something with it?"
Hutch's hand on Starsky's painfully tense erection left no doubt in
Starsky's mind to what the blond was referring to.
Growling deep in
his throat, Starsky grabbed Hutch by the hair and pulled him back down into a
kiss. The two struggled for domination
for a few moments until Starsky managed to get the upper hand by the rather
sneaky method of biting Hutch hard on the neck. Hutch let out a yelp of surprise and released Starsky. "What was that for?" He slapped a hand on the bite, which gave
Starsky his chance.
"For
this," Starsky grinned and pushed up on Hutch, making the taller man fall
backwards on to his butt. "And
this," Starsky swarmed up on top of Hutch, forcing Hutch on to his
back. "Now, we can do this a
number of different ways, but from what I've read, the best way the first time
is with this," Starsky patted the part of Hutch's ass he could reach,
"in the air."
Hutch shook his
head, sweaty tendrils of fine blond air sticking to his forehead, "Only
you would research something like this.
What'd you do, go to the library and ask at the information desk for
books on how to have sex with your male partner?" Hutch's cocked eyebrow took any censure out
of his teasing.
Starsky grinned
maliciously at his beleaguered mate.
"Something like that. Now,
are you goin' shut up and turn over or should I just go and take a cold shower?"
With a
long-suffering sigh, Hutch twisted under Starsky, "If you would move, I
could turn over, you twit."
Starsky complied, watching closely to make sure that Hutch did not try
something else. Soon Hutch was on his
stomach, long legs stretched out beside Starsky.
Patting Hutch on
the backside again, Starsky reached for the tube of lubricant that had fallen
beside the pillows when Hutch had pulled his sneak attack. Hutch looked over one shoulder at his
partner. "What is it with you and
my butt, Starsk? You keep patting me
like I'm a fidgety horse or something."
Sitting back on
his heels, Starsky tilted his head, giving the long lean body a good look. "Hmm, now there's a question and a
half. What is it with me and your butt? Well, let's see," Starsky laid a hand
on Hutch's ass, rubbing gently at the smooth surface. "It's beautiful for one thing. So soft and just enough flesh here that I won't hurt myself on it. Nothin' I hate more than a bony butt."
Hutch's skin
twitched as Starsky's fingers moved sinuously over the sensitive area. "Starsky...." There was a hint of warning and more than a
hint of need as Hutch wiggled under the questing fingers.
"Hush,"
Starsky lightly slapped Hutch's ass.
"You asked me a question and you always say you hate it when I
don't answer ya, so let me think here."
Starsky rubbed at the little red mark his palm had made on Hutch's fair
skin. "Now see what you made me
do, got it all pink when I like it white and creamy the way it usually is. See, that's another thing I like about your
butt - it's such a lovely color, makes me think of vanilla ice cream, the real
good kind." Starsky bent over
Hutch and lapped at the skin under his hand.
"Hmm, kinda tastes like vanilla ice cream too. Always figured you were good enough ta
eat."
Hutch trembled
under the onslaught of Starsky's tongue and lips against his ass, then lurched
when Starsky's warm fingers moved from just below Hutch's waist to glide gently
down the crack between the cheeks. "Whoa,
there, Hutch. You could do serious
damage to somebody, jerking around like that." Low and husky with desire, Starsky's voice sounded strange to his
own ears.
"I'll do
you serious damage if you don't stop screwing around and do what you said you
wanted. C'mon, Starsk. I want you so bad I'm going to die
here." Hutch grabbed at Starsky's
leg, the only thing he could reach while being held down by his partner's body
crosswise over him. "Please,
buddy. I need you."
"I love it
when you beg, Blondie. As for 'screwing
around', I thought that was what you wanted me to do." Running teasing fingers further into the
inviting warm space, Starsky found the soft skin of Hutch's anus. Chuckling evilly at the gasp that escaped
from Hutch, Starsky concentrated on teasing the delicate area. "Like that, do ya, buddy boy? Well, hang on 'cause you're going to love
this." Pulling away for a moment,
Starsky moistened his fingers with the lubricant and quickly returned them to
their task.
Easing his
forefinger into the tight opening, Starsky waited out Hutch's body's
instinctive attempt to block the invader's progress. "Shh, it's okay, Hutch," Starsky soothed as Hutch
whimpered against the sudden pressure.
"Take deep breaths and just let yourself get use to having me
there." Gently circling, massaging
the tight muscle, Starsky felt Hutch relax as he moaned and pushed back a
little into the hand cupping him.
Pushing in further, Starsky grinned to himself as Hutch let out a little
gasp of pleasure, and pushed back even harder.
"Boy,
you're an anxious one." Starsky
removed his hand from Hutch's body, ignoring his partner's protest at the
abandonment. "Spread your legs
apart, Hutch, I want to get between them." Hutch complied, pulling a pillow under him at the same time to
elevate his hips a bit more.
"Good, now, I'm going ta put two fingers in there, so if it hurts
or somethin', let me know."
Starsky added a little more gel to his fingers and gently inserted his
index and second finger into the not quite so tight opening. "How's that?" Starsky leaned down and kissed the spot just
above Hutch's tailbone, rubbing his nose against the little dimple there.
"You have
no idea, Starsky." Hutch bucked up
a little against the hand holding him so intimately. He turned his head so that he was looking at Starsky behind
him. Locking eyes with Hutch, Starsky
felt his heart thumping so loudly in his chest that he was surprised that Hutch
was not protesting the noise. Hutch's
smile was so wanton that Starsky's skin shivered in response. "Just knowing it's you in there makes
me hungry for all of you. I'm ready,
babe. Stop 'screwing around' and start
screwing me." If Starsky had not
have been trying so hard not to lose all sense of control he would have been
able to laugh at Hutch's teasing.
Sitting back on
his haunches, Starsky, faking a calm he in no way possessed, removed his hand
from Hutch once more. Never taking his
eyes away from looking deep into Hutch's, Starsky groped for a towel. Finding one, he wiped his hands on it and
reached for the tube of lubricant again.
Hutch twisted a bit more so that he could watch as Starsky thoroughly
and deliberately coated his by now aching penis with the gel. "I think you might need another pillow,
Hutch. We got ta remember your bad
back."
"Yeah. Fine.
Just hurry up." Hutch
pushed another pillow under him, moaning as his tense erection brushed against
the cotton pillowcase. Starsky had to
close his eyes against the sight of Hutch's pale gold ass flaunting itself in
front of him. Starsky felt like a
starving man who had suddenly been offered every delicacy in the world and told
to help himself to all of it. Regaining
control of his frayed resolve to be careful, Starsky opened his eyes again and
crawled closer to Hutch.
There had been
purpose behind Starsky's playing with Hutch, something he had learned during
his encounters with all the women he had bedded over the years. The teasing, the flirting, the slow caresses
and gentle foreplay helped to calm Starsky's own tearing need until he knew he
would not give in to it and drive himself into the waiting body and selfishly
satisfy only himself. The time Starsky
had spent preparing Hutch - teasing him until the blond was practically begging
for release - did not cool Starsky's own desire, it simply dampened it down a
bit.
"Okay,
Hutch. Now listen to me. If it hurts or you need me to stop, tell
me. I want this to be as good as it's
possible." Starsky eased Hutch's
hips up a bit more so that they were on a level with Starsky's crotch. Pulling his partner back just a bit, Starsky
stroked more of the gel around Hutch's anus, pushing some inside. Hutch tensed slightly then visibly forced
himself to relax as Starsky's fingers stroked inside of the now moaning Hutch.
"C'mon,
Starsk. Please, babe." Hutch's words were almost incoherent as Starsky
prepared them both. Starsky took a deep
breath, willing his body to behave and let his mind get them at least through
the initial part of what was about to happen.
Then, taking hold of one of Hutch's hips with one hand and his own
aching cock in the other, he steadied himself against Hutch and pushed.
At first,
Starsky thought that Hutch's body was not going to let him in - that natural
instincts would take over and that would be that. But Hutch had other ideas.
With a strangled noise that sounded to Starsky to be more of pain than
passion, Hutch pushed his hips back.
Both men let out groans - Starsky's deep and low, Hutch's a little
higher pitched. Starsky held tight to
his partner, not allowing him to move again as Starsky tried to regain some control.
"Wait ...
Hutch, just wait." Starsky was
panting with the desire to thrust all of himself into the willing body beneath
him, but the fear of hurting Hutch slowed Starsky.
Hutch wiggled
against Starsky, driving Starsky's erection a little further in. "C'mon, just do it. God, Starsk, you have no idea...." Hutch's words deteriorated into whimpering
moans as Starsky moved inward again.
Then Hutch let out a sharp yell, and jerked under his partner.
Starsky, almost
lost in the sensation of being inside Hutch, stopped. "Hutch...? God, I'm
sorry, babe. Hold still, I'll...." Starsky started to move back, withdraw from
the wonderful sanctuary his cock had found, but Hutch tightened down on him
causing Starsky to moan in delight.
"No, don't.... That was ... I don't have the words ... just
do it again." Gasping, Hutch
slowly unclenched the muscles in his rectum.
Starsky took a deep breath, and moved just a little in experimentation. As Hutch groaned again, Starsky realized
what had happened. Rubbing against the
head of his cock, he could feel a rounded something - he had been stimulating
Hutch's prostate gland and it was obvious from Hutch's ecstatic reaction that
he had no complaints.
Something let go
in Starsky. The knowledge that he was
bringing so much pleasure to the one person in the world that Starsky wanted to
please freed him. With a shout of culmination,
Starsky surged forward, totally impaling himself inside of his partner. Hutch's body accepted the intrusion with his
own shout of gratification, muscles working to engulf and capture.
Soon the two of
them were moving in sync, each taking from and giving pleasure to the other. Starsky's world shrank down to the
sensations of each stroke his body made into the welcoming embrace of Hutch's
body. The sounds Hutch uttered as they
struggled together sounded more like music to Starsky than anything he had ever
heard his partner sing. Each gasp, each
tiny squeeze of muscle around his flesh, each whisper of desire and love drove
Starsky further until his body and mind overloaded. He never knew if he shouted Hutch's name or whispered it as they
collapsed together with the strength of Starsky's climax. As he came, he felt the muscles of Hutch's
body spasm around Starsky's cock and Starsky laughed in delight at the
knowledge that he had done this to his partner... his mate. Together, they soared and fell, and soared
again until both drifted away hanging on to each other to sleep wrapped in cherished
arms.
***
They spent the
rest of the day in bed. Between
sleeping wrapped in each others' arms and indulging in lazy loveplay, the
afternoon drifted away into evening. It
was Starsky who climbed out of bed first, leaving his lover with a lingering,
promising kiss then wandered downstairs to find them something to eat. Dressed only in jeans, barefoot, more tired,
and happier than he ever remembered being, Starsky puttered around the kitchen
making roast beef sandwiches and coffee for himself and his lover.
Whistling
softly, Starsky thought about the man he had left upstairs trying to make some
order out of the ruins of the once neatly made bed. Long ago, he and Hutch had crossed an invisible line from being
simply friends to being committed partners in life. This new aspect of their relationship was simply another step
along the path they had chosen the first day they met back in the Academy. Little had they known that a friendly
handshake upon their introduction would lead to this. Starsky knew that even if he could have avoided all the pain and
fear they both had gone through these last ten or so years at the price of
losing this, he would have still done all the same things. Nothing was as important as what they had
today and, hopefully, for the rest of their lives.
Putting the
final touches to the monster sandwiches, Starsky turned to find Hutch leaning
against the doorframe, just watching.
"Hi." Starsky's body
reacted to the sight of the tall blond form lounging indolently there with the
glow of the hall light behind casting an aura around him. Feeling a little disconcerted, Starsky would
have sworn that he was too sated to react to anything, but his body had other
ideas.
The smile Hutch
gave him was one of fond amusement, "Hi yourself. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever
coming back with the food. Should have
known you were building one of your masterpieces." Hutch straightened and walked slowly to his
flustered partner. Stopping in front of
Starsky, Hutch reached around the other's body and picked up a piece of beef
that had fallen out of one of the sandwiches.
"So, you want to eat down here or should we take these back
upstairs?"
Hutch was also
wearing only jeans, and when he reached for the tidbit of meat, his bare chest
rubbed against Starsky's arm. Starsky
had to close his eyes and clamp down on the urge to take his partner right
there on the kitchen floor. Gathering
strength from somewhere, Starsky swallowed and opened his eyes to find Hutch
gazing at him from only inches away.
"Uh, I think we should eat at the table. They're kinda messy." And maybe I'll be able to keep my hands to
myself long enough to let you eat your sandwich.
"Okay. Was there any milk?" Hutch patted Starsky on the arm and moved
away to look in the refrigerator.
Starsky dragged
in a deep breath and tried to control his shaking hands. "Yeah.
Behind the pickle jar."
Walking very carefully, Starsky carried the food-laden plate to the
table. He found that if he did not
watch Hutch, it was easier to concentrate on getting the food and the dishes to
their destination without mishap. God, how the hell am I goin' to be able to
work with the guy if I can't even be in the same room with him without wanting
to jump his bones. You're a sick, sick
man, David Starsky.
"You okay,
Starsk? You're awfully
quiet." Hutch was helping with
setting up the table by bringing over the coffeepot and cups. Now he was in the process of finding the
sugar bowl and he was standing in front of one cupboard door and stretching to
open another. Starsky found the play of
strong muscles working over the long lines of Hutch's shoulder and arm to be
very distracting and it took him a minute to realize that his partner had asked
him a question.
"Huh? Oh, yeah.
I'm fine. Just tired I
guess." Starsky could have bit his
tongue on the last words when Hutch turned around and gave him a knowing
look. "Uh, sit down, Hutch. We'd better eat this before the bread gets
dry or somethin'." Starsky knew
that he was babbling now, as bad a thing as his earlier silence, but he could
not seem to stop. Maybe if he shoved
some food in his mouth....
They spent the
next few minutes in silent chewing until Starsky looked up from his plate and
caught sight of Hutch sitting across from him.
Hutch was looking inside the sandwich, picking out the olives that
Starsky had put in to liven it up a bit.
There was a tiny smear of mustard just to the right of Hutch's bottom
lip and Starsky watched it in a kind of wonder, thinking how it would taste if
he should go around the table, take his partner's head between his hands,
and....
"Starsky. Hey!
Starsky! What's the matter with
you? You've got the strangest look on
your face." Hutch had put his
sandwich back together and was looking at Starsky with a half-irate,
half-concerned stare. "Starsk, you
okay, buddy?" Hutch had fallen
back into his mother hen role.
"Uh, yeah,
I'm fine. Hutch, what happened between
you and your parents?" Starsky
clamped his lips closed, but it was too late.
The question that had lurked in the back of Starsky's mind since their
arrival in Duluth had slipped out while he was trying not to think of smearing
mustard all over his partner and doing weird things to him.
Hutch carefully
laid his sandwich down on the plate and stared at it as if he had never seen
one before. Starsky wanted to crawl
under the table; so mortified was he at letting the question fall out like
that. He really did want to know, but
not like this, not with Hutch looking like that.
"It's okay,
Hutch. I'm sorry." Starsky reached out a hand and rubbed
Hutch's arm. "You don't have to
tell me nothin' if you don't want to."
Starsky could
tell that Hutch was thinking hard. All
the signs were there - the tightness around the expressive mouth, the furrow
between the fair eyebrows deepening, the way Hutch's one eye squinted a bit
more than the other. Starsky decided
that maybe he should just be quiet and let Hutch alone for now. He started to get up from the table to allow
his partner some space when Hutch's hand clutched at Starsky's arm.
"No, stay,
Starsk. I guess you've got a right to
know." Hutch looked up at Starsky
with a little smile pulling at his mouth.
"It's not exactly a secret, at least not amongst the family,
anyway. I suppose that one day you'll
hear about it. You might as well get my
version first." Still holding on
to Starsky, Hutch moved his hand until it clasped Starsky's. Hutch's hand felt warm and a little sweaty
against Starsky's palm, but he would not have let it go for anything. Not while Hutch looked like that.
"It all
started my first year in university.
I've got to tell you, buddy, that living on campus in the really big
city was totally different from anything I'd ever experienced before. I had gone here to the community college for
a couple of years and lived at home, but I was anxious to get away from my
family and out on my own. I'd applied
for scholarships and admittance to every big university on the East Coast and
got both from the U of M up in the Twin Cities. I guess I went a little wild.
You remember what the sixties were like - the peace rallies, love-ins,
and all that junk about finding yourself.
Oh, I found myself, all right.
And I was none too happy with what I found." Hutch ran his free hand through his fine
hair making it stand up in little peaks where it was still sweaty from their
lovemaking.
"Dad had
always wanted me to major in business law, but from the time I was a little kid
helping my granddad with the livestock, I dreamed about being a doctor. Maybe a vet, maybe a GP, I didn't know, but I
wanted to be some kind of doctor. So
Dad and I compromised. I always had
really good grades and it didn't seem that much of a problem to take courses
that would prepare me for either profession.
And it was really easy for me to handle them, at least at first." Hutch grinned a little disparagingly at
Starsky and squeezed the hand in his.
"You see,
Starsk, I wasn't always the fine, classically handsome man you see before you
today. Nope, I was your A-number one
nerd. I went off to Minneapolis with a
Dutch-boy haircut, horn-rimmed glasses, and practically wearing knee breeches. By the end of first semester, my hair had
grown out, I'd ditched the glasses, and I'd found I'd outgrown the breeches. When I came back for Christmas that year,
you'd have thought I'd turned into a mass-murderer or something. Dad and I fought over everything that week,
from the clothes I wore to the politics I spouted. We were hardly able to say a civil goodbye when it came time for
me to go back." Hutch shook his
head, the grin on his lips a little strained around the edges.
Starsky tried
very hard to envision the boy his partner must have been all those years
ago. He found it easier to believe that
Hutch had been a little nerdy - after all, he still had those moments - than
the hippie child it sounded like Hutch had tried to turn himself into. But then, it would explain Hutch's weird
notions about nutrition and some of the outlandish outfits he would occasionally
pull out of his closet. Starsky thought
fondly of the serape that Hutch had insisted on wearing for a couple of months
one fall until the time he tangled himself up in it so badly, he could not find
his gun and almost got both of them killed.
Hutch chuckled
low in his throat, "Yeah, I went from being a corn-fed redneck to being
the next Abby Hoffman. Or at least that's
what I thought." He sighed. "Towards the end of my second year, I
met Van and I did such a fast reverse I probably left skid marks. Before that, I'd been messing around with
half a dozen girls, but once I started pursuing Van, all those girls
disappeared. Or at least I thought they
had." Hutch let go of Starsky's
hand and almost launched himself from his chair. Walking over to the door leading out to the deck, he opened it
and stared out into the dark.
Starsky sat and
watched his partner, wondering if Hutch needed to be alone or what. The next words convinced him that the "what"
Hutch needed was Starsky's arms around him.
"I loved
her so damn much, Starsky. I don't
think I ever stopped loving her right up to the day she died. Oh, I know we were never right for each
other, and everything that happened that summer after we met should have shown
me that then. She was so damn beautiful
and sophisticated, everything I never was and always wanted to be." Hutch leaned back into Starsky's embrace as
he came up behind Hutch and wrapped his arms around to rest hands on his
partner's stomach.
"Van went
back to Chicago to work for the summer and I came home. Dad always had a job open for me with the
company and I kind of liked working on the docks, even if I never could be just
one of the guys. Van and I talked
almost every night and we made all these plans, you know. But that doesn't have anything to do with
what happened. Not really." Hutch's sigh seemed to go right through
Starsky.
"Hutch,
I...." Starsky began, but Hutch
stopped him from continuing.
"No, let me
tell it. Maybe it'll help me put some
things to rest for myself. One of the
reasons I expected my parents to have fits about you and me was how they
reacted to what happened that summer.
They were pretty straight-laced back then and they saw a lot of things
as cardinal sins. They were very
pleased that I was interested in Van because she came from a 'good'
background. Some of the girls I'd been
dating were not of the best of families, at least not what my parents considered
the best. Certainly not good enough for
the son and heir of the Hutchinson fortune." Hutch's laugh was brittle.
"Sounds all soap operaish, doesn't it?"
Starsky let go
when Hutch tugged at the clasped hands folded on his stomach. Hutch didn't go anywhere though. Instead, he turned so he was facing Starsky
and could fold him into his arms. Chin
resting on Starsky's shoulder, Hutch continued his story.
"There was
this one girl named Gloria, although she insisted everyone call her Aspen - she
was a real flake, but I had thought she was really cool back before Van. Anyway, Gloria shows up one day in Dad's
office with some news for him. Seems
she wanted some compensation for her pain and suffering that she said I was the
direct cause of. She had this whole
story about how I'd gotten her pregnant and made her get an abortion. Because the guy who'd done the job wasn't
quite the professional he professed to be, she'd gotten sick and now she wanted
recompense."
"Oh,
babe." Starsky rubbed small
circles across the tense muscles of Hutch's back.
"Yeah, well
the thing was is that none of it was true.
Sure, I'd dated her a couple of times, even slept with her, but I'd
never gotten her pregnant. We'd dated
early on in the year and her time-frame was all screwy. And I certainly never would have paid for an
abortion. If I had gotten a girl pregnant,
I would have married her. Even if I
thought of myself as a free spirit back then, I still was the product of my
parents' upbringing and I would have done the 'right thing'. Problem was, I couldn't convince my father
of that. We had a running battle for
almost a week before he kicked me out.
That's when I decided to move to California. If Dad didn't want me around, then I'd get as far away from him
as I could."
Hutch moved his
head so that his cheek now lay against Starsky's shoulder. Starsky had a suspicion that Hutch was
crying, but he didn't let on.
"I talked
Van into moving out there with me. I
had been applying for scholarships to other universities and I was accepted by
UCLA, so everything seemed to work out okay.
I changed my major from Law to Medicine and I thought I was set and, and
well...you know how the rest of that went.
Anyway, about six months or so after I moved out west, the truth came
out about Gloria and her little scam.
Seems she'd targeted every guy she'd gone out with that semester with
the same false accusation. Some parents
threw her out, and some - like mine - paid her off. Mom tried to get Dad to apologize for how he'd acted towards me
and me to listen, but neither of us would.
And then when I left med school to go to the Academy, it only made
things worse."
Hutch stood up
and looked into Starsky's eyes. Starsky
was mildly surprised to note that Hutch's eyes were dry. "If it hadn't been for that business
with Bellamy, Dad and I may never have spoken again. That's when I realized that life's damn short and sometimes you don’t
get a second chance. If something had
happened to my dad and I never made the effort to reconcile with him, I never
would have forgiven myself. It's taken
a long time and a lot of unhappiness to get to where my parents and I are now,
and I have you to thank for helping me figure things out."
Leaning forward,
Hutch kissed Starsky on the forehead then moved downwards to kiss him almost chastely
on the lips. "I love you,
Starsk. Not just because you're the
best person I've ever known, but because you make me the best person I can
be. Thank you for that."
Hutch pulled
Starsky closer and held him. Starsky in
turn wrapped his arms around Hutch as tight as he could. They stood like that for a very long time.
***
Starsky realized
that he liked waking up in Hutch's arms more than he did making love to
him. Well...maybe not *more*, but it
was definitely up there close to the top of the list of the ten favorite things
in his life. They had fallen asleep
cuddled together like two puppies under a blanket. One of Hutch's long legs was draped over both of Starsky's and
one of Hutch's arms was lying heavy across Starsky's upper chest. The other arm - or rather hand - held
Hutch's pillow in a death grip under the blond head. There was just enough space between them to allow Starsky to
watch his love sleep.
He lay there looking
at Hutch's face, thinking about nothing much, just satisfied in being. They had sat up late the night before,
talking about many things - families, their respective childhoods, the dreams
that had changed or disappeared over two lifetimes of living from one day to
the next. Mostly, they talked about
each other and the new dreams that were born in the light of their love. Then, somewhere around midnight, they had
come back to bed and fell asleep wrapped together. Sex had not even come into consideration, both being too tired to
even work up more than a kiss or two.
But it had been beautiful in its own way and Starsky was content in
that.
Not sure of the time,
and really not caring at the moment, Starsky allowed himself to drift in the
warm comfort of being with someone who loved him. It was a nice feeling, this one of being safe and loved. Although he had always been aware of the
fact that Hutch loved him, and always, always had he felt safe in Hutch's
presence, it was a different feeling having both at the same time and in such
momentous quantities.
Lying there with
his eyes shut, Starsky listened to the sound of Hutch's breathing, and if he
held very still, Starsky could hear his partner's heart beating, the blood
rushing through his body. All soothing
sounds, so close to a lullaby that Starsky had to concentrate on staying
awake. Love had many faces - he found
himself thinking of all of the ones that Hutch's love had presented through the
years. First, there had been the simple
caring of a classmate, then roommate, while they were in the Academy
together. After that had come
friendship which had grown from two guys who liked to hang out together to two
people who dreamed of working alongside the other. Partnership with all its many connotations came next. That form of commitment had grown and
developed until their partnership became legendary in their district. Heck - perhaps in the whole state.
Turning slightly
to ease his back, but not enough to dislodge any of the warm limbs covering
him, Starsky thought about that partnership.
They knew one another so well that most of the time they did not have to
do much more than look at each other to know what thoughts were being
processed. It made them practically invincible
on the streets for years, that connection.
Many thought it was eerie, how they communicated with barely more than a
glance or a slight tilt of the head.
Even Starsky had to admit he did not understand how it worked, he could
only rely on its being true.
Staring up at
the ceiling, Starsky wondered how their life would be now. He wondered if they could hide it from the
powers that be back home. He wondered
if they should even try to hide it.
After all, if Hutch's family had figured it out with no more than a few
words on paper and an occasional phone conversation, how much more could the
people who saw them every day know? Starsky
stretched out one leg carefully. Dobey
probably knew, or if he had never admitted it to himself, then he must have
suspicions. Huggy must know. Huggy probably knew them better than they
knew themselves. Heaven knew that their
friend had talked them out of more arguments and into more trouble over the
years with how well he knew them. He
probably had known years before they did how the wind was blowing and had been
too polite to say anything. Starsky
would have to have a talk with the Bear just to find out for himself how long
they had been giving off signals that neither one had been smart enough to
catch.
Starsky drifted
some more in that place between sleep and awake. Hutch moved against him, pulling Starsky closer in an unconscious
embrace. Smiling, Starsky allowed his
mind to wander to his favorite subject.
Lying there thinking about Hutch, Starsky sighed happily. Yesterday had been the most extraordinary
day of his life. Making first love to
Hutch was an event that Starsky doubted he would ever top, but he was more than
willing to try. He knew that as they
became more comfortable with each other during sexplay, they would find new
ways of astounding each other, but still, yesterday had been very special. Not special because it had been the first
time one of them had buried themselves in their partner, but because it was the
first time they had only themselves to think about, to please.
Moving ever so
slowly, Starsky lay his cheek against Hutch's chest so he could feel the air
moving in and out and the slow, steady beat of this one amazing heart. Just knowing that Hutch loved him this way
made Starsky's own heart beat a little faster.
Starsky firmly believed that he had been given a second - or was that a
third or fourth? - chance at life simply because Hutch needed him to live. Back in the dark days after the shooting,
there had been moments when Starsky would wonder if all the struggles were
worth it. When it would have been so
easy to give into his body's demand for rest and gone away. But, then he would remember the look on
Hutch's face when he turned around and found Starsky blinking at him and know
that there was no leaving Hutch.
It was a weighty
proposition this. Being the reason for
another human being's desire to live was both an honor and a burden. An honor because this one particular human
was worth anything to keep alive and happy.
A burden because sometimes living was just too damn hard and it would be
so very easy to just turn your back and leave.
But if he left, Starsky knew that Hutch would too, some how, some way. And there was no getting around the fact
that Starsky could not bear that knowledge without doing everything in his
power to prevent it.
Sighing, Starsky
reached up a careful hand and laid it flat on Hutch's chest over his
heart. The texture of Hutch's chest
enthralled Starsky. Maybe it always
had. Soft, smooth, with only the barest
suggestion of fine hair, it was also strong.
Although Hutch was not an imposing man, being all arms and legs, Starsky
had first hand knowledge of the strength hidden under this fair, almost white,
skin. Starsky thought back to the time
he had been shot down in that restaurant and Hutch had picked him up from the
floor and carried his limp body to the back room. And another time when Starsky had barely managed to drag himself
up too many flights of stairs to collapse on a rooftop. Hutch had carried him down those same stairs
to the waiting Torino, and still found the strength of will to figure out the
case and save Starsky's life.
Closing his
eyes, Starsky wondered, not for the first time, how much he owed this man he
had become part of. He knew that he
owed Hutch his life a dozen times over, and probably his very soul at least
that many times more. Starsky knew that
Hutch thought the scales were balanced, that Starsky had done the same service
for Hutch over the years and neither owed the other anything other than what
they were willing to give. Starsky knew
that was not true. He owed so much
more, more than he would ever be able to repay.
A change in
Hutch's breathing alerted Starsky that his partner was wakening. Moving back slowly, Starsky maneuvered
himself so that he could watch his lover wake up on this new day. He had never done this before, not like
this. Starsky cataloged every
motion. Pale lashes fluttered over
closed eyes. A muscle quivered in
Hutch's left cheek, then his lips. The
pink tip of his tongue peeked out then disappeared as Hutch rose a little more
towards consciousness. Starsky almost
laughed as Hutch's nose twitched once, then again. The movement reminded Starsky far too much of a rabbit he had
seen at the petting zoo when he had taken Lisa there one Sunday afternoon.
Hutch mumbled,
then rolled on to his back, pulling all the warm limbs away from Starsky. Feeling bereft, Starsky captured Hutch's
hand and held it gently between his own.
Lying on his side, Starsky smiled softly as sleepy blue eyes opened and
turned to look at him. "Hi." Starsky's smile grew into a full-fledged
grin as Hutch blinked owlishly at Starsky.
"Hey, Blondie, what happened to my up-at-dawn partner?" Lifting the still sleep-heavy hand to his
lips, Starsky kissed Hutch's knuckles, then turned the hand to kiss the
palm.
"I think
you killed him, babe." Hutch's
other hand rose to stroke Starsky's curls as Hutch rolled back on to his side
so that they were lying almost nose to nose.
Tightening his grip on Starsky's hair, Hutch pulled gently so that their
lips met in a soft kiss that heated slowly towards passion. Hutch released Starsky's lips and spoke
against them, "You want to see if you can revive him, love?" Starsky's only answer was to roll Hutch flat
on his back again and show him how appealing the idea was.
****
"So, what's
on the agenda today?" Starsky sat sprawled
across the chair in Hutch's room. One
leg lay flung over the arm of the chair while the other leg lay folded on the
seat. They had showered and gone to
their respective rooms to dress for the day.
Starsky had finished first simply because he had thrown on the first
clothes he laid his hands on - a slightly wrinkled shirt and yesterday's
jeans. Hutch, on the other hand, was
picking through his closet looking for something. The sight of Hutch standing there with his back turned; clad only
in rather skimpy cotton briefs was both distracting and entertaining. Starsky knew that Hutch was very aware of
the effect he was having on his partner and Starsky was not sure if he should
hate him for it or love him all the more.
"I want to
show you some of the city. There're a
couple of museums that are really worth seeing; the railroad one I know you'll
really like. We could go down to the
docks and look around the family's business.
Or maybe we could go for a drive up the coast of the lake a bit. It's very different from the ocean. No, that won't work; we've got to be back in
time to go to dinner at Katie's. Maybe
we could do it tomorrow...."
Starsky stopped
listening; lost in the wonder of how much things had changed yet stayed so much
the same. He and Hutch may have
discovered something new in their life together but they were still the same
people with the same idiosyncrasies and needs.
For the first time since that morning sitting in the parking garage when
Hutch had turned to him and spoken his heart, and Starsky's heart too, Starsky
knew that everything would be okay.
After all, they had each other, just like always. They would weather any storm, any problems
that may arise because together they were strong enough to fight anything and
anyone.
The love they
always had for each other had not changed.
It had grown, developed new possibilities, but the underlying shape of
it was the same as it had been since the day they first met. And that made all things right. Starsky smiled and got up out of the chair
to ambush his partner, who was in the process of putting on his pants. Yeah, life would always be the same -
perfect.
The end. Or not.