| Jessica shivered and looked over the bridge into the cold, dark water of the fast-flowing river. Not only was it the middle of winter, but she had come here at almost twelve pm at night. It was very cold, but she didn't care. The night soothed her. She shivered again involuntarily and stared out at the city swathed in lights. The New Year had come, and beer, merry-making, and jolly, severely drunk people were scattered liberally throughout the city. But she was alone on the bridge, except for a hunched figure staring broodingly over the other side of the bridge. No drunks, no beer, no sex, and for once, peace ... silence. Jessica sighed aloud and was glad that she had gotten away from Bryan. He was pushing harder for sex, and the alchohol combined with couples strewn out throughout her friend's house in the city weren't helping. She thought back to the day she'd met Bryan. He had seemed so sincere and pure when Jessica met him. Not like the leering, cursing, boisterous other guys she'd been set up with. He hadn't wanted sex. He seemed open and friendly, and they became friends. But time spent with the kind of people she hung out with changed him. He was now just like every other guy Jessica had met, and he only wanted her body, not love or talking ... or anything worthwhile. She brushed away a tear threatening to fall and straightened up, remembering her resolution long ago that she would never cry. Nothing was worth crying over. Jessica looked out again into the depths of the water, and was startled when a voice broke the silence. "Cold night, isn't it?" She looked behind her at the source of the voice, and saw the hunched figure she'd glanced at earlier. He was young ... maybe only a year older than she was. But his face was weathered and his voice sort of croaked. Jessica noticed the baggy clothes and the cigarette in his hand. "Yeah, it is. We haven't had a winter like this in ten years," she answered him. He just nodded and stared out at the water behind her. "So what brings you here?" the stranger asked unexpectedly. Jessica shrugged, not really willing to talk to a stranger and not in the mood for talking anyway. "Nothing much." "Just the quiet?" "Yes, I guess you could say that." She was cautious. It was rare that an innocent conversation was struck up in the outskirts of New York. Especially on New Year's at midnight. "Yeah," she heard him say. "Me, too." And then he turned back to the other side and nursed his cigarette. Jessica let him be and turned back to the water. She didn't know this man, but she felt a sort of blind kinship with him, just a small one. They both wanted to escape. She wanted to escape. Jessica wondered if there was even another kind of life, she wondered if people even lived without beer, sex, make-up ... it was a fake life. She suddenly felt old. Jessica hated her life, and she hated what she'd become: someone who looked strong but was about ready to break down. Jessica hadn't chosen this life for herself, it was what she'd always known. Jessica looked up at the stars ... and she wondered. How could she ever escape this? Noah could feel her staring at his back, and then she turned away, thinking about whatever she was thinking. He pulled the cigarette away for a minute and looked at the water. Maybe I should just end it, right here. Right now. What is there to live for? This piece of junk? This cigarette? Noah looked at the cigarette in disgust, and after examining it for what kind of worth he would find in something like this, threw it over the edge. It fell into the river and he didn't see it again. Already, Noah wanted another one, but he resisted his mind and tried to think straight. What was he doing here? What kind of life did he even have? None. That was the answer. This life wasn't even worth it. I could throw myself off the bridge. Noah knew the icy water would have him dead in no time at all. And he'd finally be free. And, hey, no one would miss him. His family was mostly dead and his friends were only friends when he got money. There was one ... but Noah pushed that thought away. It was best, for everyone. He could be free from what he'd lived, what he'd done with his miserable life, and the world would be free of him. "What'd you come here for?" The voice startled him. Noah slowly turned to see that brunette he'd talked to a few minutes ago. She was shivering from the cold, but her eyes snapped with some kind of strength, like she could make it through anything. Like nothing could kill her. Wish I had that kind of strength. Noah thought for a minute and struggled to remember her question. "I ... came down here to ... get away." "Yeah? Where do you live?" Her voice was deadpan but her face said she was actually interested. Noah swallowed surprise as she moved over to his side of the bridge. "Me? I don't really live anywhere, at the moment. I lived in Manhattan for a while." "Wow." Noah looked at the girl. Her hands knitted together over and over, and as her dark hair whipped at her face, he saw she was trying to fight the cold. Noah asked, "Don't you have gloves?" She stared at him. And then she laughed, and the sound of her laughter floated over the water like sunshine in the dark. "You know what," she mused almost to herself, "I completely forgot to get some." "Happens to all of us, I guess," Noah mumbled. She nodded. "So ..." he asked, "Where do you live?" She shrugged. "The center of New York city." "Really? Why aren't you there now?" "I told you earlier." Now she looked agitated. "I wanted to get away." "That's a long way away. You walked all the way here?" "Why the questions?" Noah smiled briefly. " 'Cause it's cold, and we're two strangers on a bridge." In the back of his mind, he wondered if he should wait until she was gone to end his life. It wouldn't be polite for her to have to watch. And then he wanted another cigarette. "Oh," she answered. She moved closer to Noah, now only a foot away. "I guess that's okay. So, what's your name?" He couldn't help it. Noah hadn't laughed in years but he did chuckle at the question. "My mother named me Fitzgerald," he smiled at the look on the girl's face, "but I go by Noah." "Noah? Where'd that come from?" "It's my middle name." "Oh." Noah asked, "What's yours?" She looked confused. "What? My middle name?" He smiled. "No. Your first name." "It's Jessica." "Pretty name," he couldn't help commenting. "Yeah." For whatever reason, she fell silent ... Noah let her alone, wishing he had another cigarette. He wondered if he should jump off the bridge tonight. Maybe tomorrow would be better, when people would be nursing hangovers and wouldn't be around. It would be better that way. Suddenly, Jessica spoke again. "I came because ... I'm sick of the noise." Noah thought she'd already told him why she came ... But he sensed a need for a listening ear, any ear. "Aren't we all?" he murmured back. "Yes. But it's not just the noise." "It's everything?" "Yes. I ..." She suddenly looked fierce. "I was thinking about going away." "Well, why don't you?" "I ... I can't. I ..." she was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. Noah imagined the only reason she was telling him this was she thought he was drunk and wouldn't remember it tomorrow. Which was fine by Noah. "I ... I can't escape." "What do you mean?" "Oh, I don't know ..." She looked frustrated. Noah muttered to himself, "Like a hole. It just keeps getting deeper. And you can't get out ... you get sucked down into the dark. And there's nothing else." Jessica didn't seem to notice Noah wasn't talking to her. "Exactly," she answered. Noah smiled. Two lonely kids and nowhere to go. Except down. He stared at the bridge water beneath them. Her voice startled him again. "Tell me why you came down here." Noah looked at her. "I did." "No. That wasn't an answer. I told you why I came down here. Now tell me your reason." Noah shrugged, and, by habit, dug into his pocket only to find there were no more cigarettes. "I told you. I came down here to escape." "To escape from what?" "Why the questions?" he asked, getting defensive. Jessica smiled. " 'Cause it's cold, and we're two strangers on a bridge." Noah let a grin flit across his face. "Good answer. But it's not that important." "You let me talk. Now I'm letting you talk." Noah turned on her. "Oh, I let you talk, and you're going to let me talk, is that right?" Her chin lifted and he could see any mockery wouldn't move her. "Yeah. I needed to talk. So do you." "How would you know what I need and don't need?" Noah stared at the murky water below them and inwardly cursed that he hadn't brought that stinkin' pack of cigarettes. Jessica answered slowly, but with a quiet assurance. "Because you're staring at the water. We're both searching. And you can't find anything, can you?" Noah rounded on her, a frown on his face. She took a step back and he realised he was frightening her. "What would you know? How do you know what I'm looking for? You know nothing about why I'm here." The girl did look scared, but she frowned back at him. "Well, I can't, since you won't actually tell me." "Listen. I am not 'searching' for anything. I don't even know who you are. And I don't have to tell you anything about why I'm on a bridge in New York on New Year's Eve. Do I?" "Hey, just because I asked a simple question doesn't call for you to get all defensive on me!" Jessica said with quiet intensity. Noah turned away from her and looked at the water again. Sure, he was searching. What was he going to find? As he looked hard at the water, he couldn't see any way out ... no. Noah would drown himself tonight, after this Jessica had gone home. She should go now. He muttered, "Sorry about being all defensive. Anyways, we should probably both get home now. It's late. We can't escape for ever." "Tell me why you're here," she insisted. "Why are you so set on learning why I'm on a bridge looking at water? People do do that sometimes, you know." Jessica looked at him. Noah noticed that her hands were turning blue, and her lips were purple. Alarm bells went off inside his head. She needed to get out of the cold. "Hey," he warned before she could say anything, "you need to get out of this wind. You don't look so good." Jessica said, her eyes snapping, "I'm fine." "No, you're not. You look half-dead, I mean it. Get someplace warm." "Yeah, I guess I should get back," she sighed. "But, please, will you tell me why you came to this place?" "What difference does it make? Why does it matter?" Noah said quietly. "I think you just want to kill yourself," she replied. Noah stared at her in shock. How could she know what he planned to do? No, that wasn't possible. He hadn't told her he planned to jump off the bridge ... Wait a minute. She was kidding. She was using the shock factor to get an answer out of him. Noah squared his shoulders and inwardly sighed with relief. "No. I'm not," he said calmly. "If you'll leave, I'll tell you why I came." "Promise?" She looked suspicious. "You need to get out of this cold," Noah blurted out of nowhere. She was visibly shaking, and he could hear her teeth chattering from there. Noah reached out; her hands were icy. Her face was blue. "Leave. Now," he ordered. She shook her head, and Noah shivered from inside his jacket. The wind was biting, and the icy fingers of winter wedged themselves in the warmest of places. Noah sighed and groaned. "I'm going to take you to the library. It's not even a block from here. The librarian's a friend of mine, so we can get in even though it's closed. You need to get inside." "Well ... F-f-fine ..." Jessica looked incredibly weak all the sudden. She wasn't even demanding that stupid answer of why he even happened to be on the stupid bridge. Like there was even a reason Noah did. He just wandered there. Noah carefully took her hands in his and led her to the library. It was a relatively small one, in a two-storey building, and Carlos was his best friend. He would let Noah inside even though it would certainly be closed this time of night. The library had been Carlos' dad's house, so he had but to ring the bell for Carlos to come clomping down the hall in a minute, shouting, "It's closed, you imbeceeles, closed - oh. It's you, Jacob, bruhda. Whatchou doin' heah?" "I met a friend on the bridge," Noah explained. "And she's not looking so hot. I don't think she has a place to go to." Carlos nodded in understanding; a lot of his friends he made were homeless. Noah had been homeless, until Carlos helped him out. Half the area swore he was a real angel without wings - and believed it. Carlos took Jessica immediately and led her to his living room, where he got some logs on the fireplace and got a blanket before running off to make tea for her. "What's he going to do?" Noah turned to see Jessica - still looking weak - lying on the couch in front of the fire. "He's going to make tea," Noah answered quietly. "It'll warm you up." Jessica gestured to him. "Tell your friend thank you, but I ..." she started coughing, and her voice became a whisper. "I don't like tea ... I like coffee." For some reason, this struck Noah as funny, and he chuckled quietly as he went to tell Carlos. If you'd like, go to Chapter Two to read on. |