Blayne: "Girls really gotta' have something to go with me."
Xander: "Something like a lobotomy?"
Xander: "He's buff. She never said anything about him being buff."
Xander: "It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to."
Xander: "Those who can do. Those who can't laugh at those who can do."
Xander: "This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but...where did they put his head?"
Willow: "Good point. I didn't want to hear that."
Giles: "Yes, she's lovely in a common, extremely well-proportioned way."
Flutie: "We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise, we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved."
Buffy: "I'm not saying she craned her neck. We're talking full-on Exorcist twist."
Xander: "Forgiveness is my middle name. Well actually, it's Lavelle."
Willow: "He's got a crush on a giant insect!"
Xander: "What kind of a girly name is 'Angel' anyway?
Xander: "Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day."
Xander: "Your hands are s--really...serrated."
Giles: "Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care. Now unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately. This is a matter of life and death!"
Willow: "Got it. Coroner's report, complete with--yuck--color pictures.
Giles: "I understand, Carlyle. Yes, I'll take every precaution. Absolutely. It sounds exactly like the creature you describe. You were right all along about everything. Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese, but--uh, try to rest, old man. Yes. Ta. Bye now."
Giles: "Whatever you do, it had better be sudden and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous."
Buffy: "Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around."
Giles: "Yes, in a straightjacket, howling his innards out day and night."
Buffy: "Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops."
Giles: "Sorry."
Giles: "Where am I gonna' find that?
Buffy: "In the vid. library. There are no books, but it's dark and musty. You'll feel right at home. Go!"
Giles: "Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled."
Willow: "According to Miss French's personnel records, she was born in 1907. She's like, ninety years old."
Giles: "And extremely well-preserved."
Claw: "You!"
Buffy: "Me."
Buffy: "Bat sonar. Makes your whole nervous system go to hell. You can go there with it."
Xander: "Just for the record, you were right. I'm an idiot, and God bless you."
Willow: "I don't think it's bad. I think it's really...sweet. But certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again."