Spike: No, that's over-the-hill shopkeepers.
Giles: I'm fine. I just need to ... to die for a minute.
Willow <telepathically>: Xander, Anya, stop!
Xander: Great googly-moogly, Willow, would you quit doing that?
Willow <telepathically>: I told you I was going to get the lay of the land.
Xander: But not the lay of my brain.
Anya: It's kind of intrusive. You could knock first or something.
Willow <telepathically>: Xander..........
Xander: I know, I know, I don't have to talk when I answer you. But I saw "The Fury," and that way lies spooky carnival death.
Giles: You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.
Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? 'Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea'?
Buffybot: That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
Spike: What's with the Dadaism, Red?
Tara: Yeah, she says that pie thing every time she stakes a vamp now.
Willow: I don't know, I was trying to program in some new puns and I kinda ended up with word salad.
Buffybot: I think it's funny!
Willow: It's a glitch, I'll fix it.
Giles: We just can't have her messing up in front of the wrong person. Or the wrong thing. We need the world and the underworld to believe that Buffy is alive and well.
Willow: And I will therefore fix it. I got her head back on, didn't I? And I got her off those knock-knock jokes.
Buffybot: Ooh, who's there?
Xander: You know, if we want her to be exactl----
Spike: She'll never be exactly.
Xander: I know.
Tara: The only really real Buffy is really Buffy.
Giles: And she's gone.
Buffybot: 'If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Willow: Where's my clog? I think there's a clog-eating monster under the bed. It's really those lesser-known monsters that make living in Sunnydale so hard.
Xander: House of chicks, relax. I am a man, and I have a tool. *silence* Tools. Lots of plural tools. In my, uh ... toolbox. Ah! Sandwiches. Excellent. Men like sandwiches.
Teacher: *looking at one of dawns school projects* This is a kid's version of a utopian society. You'll notice there are no schools but an extraordinary number of pizza parlours.
Buffybotl: I don't think I know of a breed of humans this small. Who's going to live here?
Anya: You know, I used to punish people like this when I was a demon. I made them double-check spreadsheets for all eternity.
Tara: You found the last known urn of Osiris on eBay?
Anya: Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited edition Backstreet Boys lunchbox for a-a-ahh.... a friend.
Xander: Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group?
Anya: You did.
Tara: You said Willow should be boss.
Anya: And then you said, "Let's vote," and it was unanimous...
Tara: ...and then you made her this little plaque, that said "Boss of Us." You put little sparkles on it.
Tara: What if something does go wrong?
Willow: I'm telling you it won't.
Xander: Scenario: We raise Buffy from the grave, she tries to eat our brains. Do we, a) congratulate ourselves on a job well done...
Willow: Xander, this isn't zombies.
Anya: Zombies don't eat brains anyway unless instructed to by their zombie masters. A lot of people get that wrong.
Buffybot: Sorry I questioned you, Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs.
Giles: Perhaps Anya's right. Perhaps I am trying to teach you as if you were...
Buffybot: Human?
Giles: Yes.
Buffybot: I like your teachings. Every Slayer needs her Watcher.
Giles: I'm not so sure about that.
Buffybot: What do you mean?
Giles: Nothing. I just can't help but wonder if ... she would have been better off without me. Buffy.
Buffybot: I don't think that's true. You were very helpful to her.
Giles: Right. Yes, I was a perfect Watcher. I did what any good Watcher would do. Got my Slayer killed in the line of duty.
Buffybot: Oh, that wasn't your fault.
Giles: Of course not. That's how all Slayer/Watcher relationships end, isn't it? She's gone. I did my job.
Buffybot: Well, then why are you still here?
Willow: Aw, you got butterflies, baby?
Tara: More like bats.
Anya: You wanna look at the money? I find it always calms me.
Giles: I was trying to avoid a scene, really.
Willow: Like we'd make a scene.
Giles: Not you. Me.
Anya: Um, we, uh, brought you some lovely parting gifts. It's American. Get it? Apple pie? To remind you of all the good food you won't be eating.
Tara: And a monster, sort of a Sunnydale souvenir we thought. Grr! Argh!
Willow: We just wanted you to know that ... we'll miss you. But we'll be okay. We'll miss you, but... we'll be okay.
Anya: I'll take really good care of your money.
Giles: Yes, I have no doubt.
Willow: Well, you should get going. Don't you have a life or something?
Giles: Um, well, I suppose that's the question really.
Xander: Okay, this is really starting to grate my cheese. These woods aren't that big. Now, I know we've been going straight because I've been following the North Star.
Willow: Xander. That's not the North Star. It's an airplane.
Xander: I mean, this place is NORAD, and we are at DefCon One. ... Okay, I so need male friends.
Xander: Oh no.
Willow: What?
Xander: No. How could we be so stupid!!
Willow: Xander!
Xander: Our spell. Our resurrection spell worked like a magic charm. We brought you back to life, Buffy. Right where we left her.
Willow: Oh God.
Xander: In her coffin.
Tara: She had to ... dig out of her own grave.
Xander: I happen to be a very powerful man-witch myself. Or ... male... Is it a warlock?
Razor: Now let me tell you something, children. We're not gonna fight you. We're just gonna hold you down and enjoy ourselves for a few hours. You might even live through it. Except that certain of my boys got some... anatomical incompatibilities that, uh, tend to tear up little girls. So, who wants to go first?
Buffybot: Where did I go?
Dawn: What?
Buffybot: Where did I go? I was here. Here. But then I ran away.
Dawn: I don't...
Buffybot: No. Not me. The other Buffy.
Willow: Tara!
Tara: Nobody messes with my girl.
Xander: Tara, nice axing.
Tara: My first.
Buffy: Is this hell?
Dawn: You're alive, and you're home. You're home.