Title: Death Never Looked so Good
Part: 1
Author: Cally
Shipper: Spike/Buffy
Spoilers: This story is set well in to season six and has quite a few spoilers, if you want to remain unspoiled please don't read this story till season six has aired in your area.
Disclaimer: The characters of BtVS are the property of UPN, FOX, Mutant Enemy and Joss (and any other huge conglomerates who may wish to try and sue me). All credit to them. All original characters in the story belong to the author, any unauthorised republication could result in legal action.
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[Death Never Looked so Good]
She thought as she looked at him pretending to be asleep in the crypt. Pretending because he knew she was there, and she knew he knew.
She stood there staring at Spike’s chiselled features his lean muscular body, he was good looking in a vampy sort of way but she’d always had a thing for them!! But this was more than that, he was in her head, her soul, and her heart, it scared her more than she dare admit.
There was a blackness in his heart that both repelled and excited her. Since she’d come back he’d been the only one to understand, to be sensitive enough to her feelings, to see what she was going thru.
His reaction to any problem was typically violent, she smiled as she remembered his offer to take some of the Scoobies out “It’ll hurt like Hell, but I could probably thin the herd a little” but at the end of the day he wouldn’t hurt any of them.
She used to think it was because of the chip but it wasn’t it was a need to belong that he wouldn’t admit not even to himself, she knew how the others would react if they knew about Spike’s chip and her but she knew better.
Or did she? There was a little tiny doubt that said he’s doing this to trap me. She knew it wasn’t true he’d could have killed her at anytime in the past weeks . She once told him that he was beneath her, he wasn’t, he was unpredictable, fast and intelligent that made him dangerous and very very exciting.
As he said to her that first time “I’m not Angel, I’m an animal”. And he was, it was sheer lust that time, not romantic, he made her feel like a woman and took her to depths she’d never been to, that first time and every time since.
And that’s why she kept coming back, that’s why she was here now, is it love or lust she asked herself, she didn’t know and she didn’t care.
Buffy resolved to break her resolve again, undressed and got into bed next to him. He turned and said “took you long enough” took her in his arms and kissed her passionately.
And she was lost in him again.
What a wonderful place to be.
She dreamed.
They were on a boat in a sea of black, the moon was high and they were on the deck, naked. Wrapped in each others arms, they’d made love a zillion times, and now she felt safe wrapped there in his arms as he slept. Made love, and she felt safe.
She slept in her dream and when she woke the sun was threatening to come up over the horizion, and they were still on the deck. She turned and shook Spike, “wake up, we’ve got to get inside” but Spike didn’t wake and she tried to pull him inside with all the strength of the Slayer but to no avail.
That’s when she noticed the chains binding him to the deck and she started to scream.
Spike was still sleeping, she was trying desperately to get him out of the chains. “ You won’t get out of those Buffy”, she turned to see Willow floating just above the deck, “but I can’t let him die, I must try” Willow said “ask yourself why, you must decide, you must make a choice”. Buffy screamed “ what choice”. Willow answered simply “Is it love or lust”? and disappeared. “Do you love me” Buffy turned back to find Spike awake eyes wide in fear, and she understood. Here was a man so afraid of death that he’d found a way to cheat it, turned himself into a monster, a killer, but his heart was still human, his heart was still William’s. With the same strength of hatred she has once felt for him she said, “I love you” truth ringing in every letter.
Then she woke, to find Spike staring at her, the same look of fear in his eyes, he said “where you talking to me”? and she said “Yes, I love you Spike” he held her as he sobbed in her breast. Then they made love, made love with their hearts and souls.
He knew she was dreaming he could see it in her face as she lay there. He looked at her beautiful body, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, not faked like me he thought, and he wondered what it would be like to be alive again.
It wasn’t going to happen, and he wouldn’t want it to because if he wasn’t one of the undead he wouldn’t be here now. Everything he’d done in his life had brought him to this moment in time, and he wouldn’t change that for the world.
Or would he? He knew this wasn’t healthy, he was a romantic at heart, a poet after all, but not stupid, this wasn’t love on her part he was sure of it, whatever kept her coming back it wasn’t love, not that he minded not really, he’d take her anyway he could. The things they did and the lengths they went to cover them up, of course the Scoobies weren’t stupid they’d work it out, but the secrets, the lies, the depravity of the sex all made him smile.
She was a minx, who wanted it all and encouraged him to great depths, in some ways deeper than he’d gone with Dru. It was different with her of course he’d would never physically harm Buffy the way he had Drusilla She wouldn’t heal as quick for one thing and another was he didn’t actually want to hurt her. But she encouraged him, liked the pain, made her feel alive she said and he knew exactly what she meant and what she wanted. She’d never put it into words never actually asked him to bite her, drain her, and bring her back but she asked plenty of questions about it watched in fascination as he changed and threatened to bite her if she kept on. She hadn’t said anything, she hadn’t run, or got angry, she just run her hand thru his hair and kissed him vamp face and all, he changed again and convinced himself that he wouldn’t have really bit her if she’d actually asked him to.
There was a stirring in his groin as thought over these events and stared at her, and then she turned over, eyes still closed, still dreaming and said “I love you”.
At first he thought his ears had been deceiving him, then she opened her eyes and he said, fear coursing thru him, in case he’d misheard or she was dreaming of someone else, “were you talking to me” she smiled and said “Yes, I love you, Spike”. He didn’t want to cry but it came anyway, as he buried his head in her breast he was swept away with passions so strong they frightened him.
They made love, really made love.
And afterwards he held her never wanting to let go, he made himself a promise that if she ever tried to walk away from him, he’d kill her.
There’s a fine line between love and hate.
Of course she did leave.
Night fell and she rose knowing she had to patrol. Spike sat up and said “where you going, cutie”? “patrol” she replied praying that he’d say I’ll come with you. He did of course and soon they were hunting in Sunnydale’s numerous graveyards.
Hunting not patrolling, she knew that’s what it was, anything for the thrill of the chase, and the kill, anything to make her feel alive.
They walk close together not touching, aware of there surroundings. Then they see them, three young vamps with a girl Buffy thinks she recognised from Dawn’s school. Spike says “I’ll lead you follow” she nods understanding the meaning. They are vamped up going in for the kill, that makes them dangerous, not that the danger bothered her, she could handle that, it’s just that Spike could throw them off guard, they had a way of recognising each other even when they’d never met they would think they were in no danger.
He walks up and says “private party boys, or can anyone join”? They looked over see him and relax just a tad, and then they see her, “Slayer” one shouts and all three charge.
One never gets as far as her, Spike dusts him with the stake she throws him, the second one is bigger and not as fast she drop kicks him and he is dust moments later. The third seeing this carnage turns and runs, Buffy gives chase, catching him in the woods on the edge of the graveyard. He is fit and strong only about 18 and puts up a hell of a fight. He wrestles her to the ground, holds her, and tells her “you spoiled my party now I’m going to have you instead” “over my dead body” she retorts, “couldn’t have put it better, pet” Spike’s voice says behind her, he grabs the vamp from behind as he looks up in shock and throws him against a tree, Buffy jumps to her feet and quick as a flash she dusts him where he landed.
She turns to Spike fire dancing in her eyes “the girl” “sent her off home, terribly grateful she was” he says smiling wickedly, “how grateful”? she says, “offered herself to me she did” he says with a devilish look on his face before he takes her in his arms and kisses her passionately, “but I said no”!!
They made love right there, and Buffy felt her self fall deeper and who would catch her?
Spike walked her home, it was after 2am now and they were finally at her front door.
He knew she wouldn’t ask him in too much explaining to do in the morning and anyway it wasn’t dark enough in her bedroom.
She holds open the door and says “are you coming in or what” “you mean just for a little while, right” he says shocked, she kisses him on the cheek and says “no silly all night or what’s left of it” he says “pet I would but……..” “your not going to” she says looking angry, “did you think I didn’t mean it when I said I love you”? “it’s not what you think” he starts, “it’s just it’s not dark enough in your room you haven’t got any curtains” he falters apologetically, she starts to laugh “Is that the only reason” He says “yes, what other reason could there be” smiling. She smiles and says “come with me”
He follows her into the house and down to the basement, he stops about ½ way down the stairs and enquires pensively “is that water all gone”? Buffy looks up in amusement “this is a new one on me, are vampires allergic to water”? “no” reply’s Spike “I wash”, she laughs “yes I know, so why are you so worried about the water down here – it’s all gone by the way” he mumbles “scared, can’t swim” , “can’t swim, what are you worried about – drowning” she says laughing so hard she nearly falls over, he starts to smile and leaps down the stairs landing on the floor behind her, grabs her from behind and wrestles her to the floor.
She doesn’t try to fight him but all he does is kiss her, “so what did you bring me down here for”? he asks “I’ll show you” she says jumping to her feet. She walks over to a shelf and Spike follows she turns and dumps a large bundle in his arms “blackout material, up at the window, no sun – OK”? she smiles and he says “your great, I love you to bits” she reply’s “ditto”.
They creep up the stairs so as not to wake anyone, both too tired to explain tonight. They are pinning up the blackout when the knock comes at the door, they look at one another and Spike hides in the closet. Buffy calls “come in” as casually as possible and Willow walks in the room, “Hi, couldn’t sleep, where have you been all day, was it a busy patrol”? she asks, “patrol, yeah busy, three vamps” Buffy reply’s “it took you all this time to kill three vamps, and you never said where you have been all day” Willow asks looking puzzled “hanging out” Buffy reply’s, Willow is looking at her expectantly, “with Spike” Buffy falters, Willow is looking at her, knows she is not telling the whole truth, “with Spike” she enquires in her school maam voice “yeah you got a problem” Buffy counters, Willow taken aback says “no, it’s up to you who you sleep with” “I never said……..” Buffy starts “you didn’t have to I knew he was hiding in the closet when I walked in here, I was just trying to work out why you would keep it a secret from me” countered Willow looking hurt. Willow walks over to the closet opens the door to find Spike leaning nonchantly against the wall, “Hi Will, guess I’m rumbled” Spike says and steps out of the closet.
Buffy looks at Willow and Spike, her best friend and the man she loves, and says “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just didn’t know how you’d react” Willow reply’s “I understand, the others may not, but Buffy if it makes you happy then you have my support”. Buffy overcome with emotion rushes and hugs her friend, “Thanks Willow, I think this calls for hot choccies all round” Buffy declares happily, she looks enquiringly at Spike “you too” she asks, he nods his approval “got any of those marshmallows, pet” he asks, Buffy smiles “I’ll look”.
When Buffy had gone Spike turns to Willow and says “Thanks Will” she turns and says “I said I understood, not that I liked it, look whatever makes Buffy happy is good, you make Buffy happy your good – capiche”? Spike nods and says “I’d never hurt her” Willow retorts “you couldn’t” Spike reply’s fire in his eyes “Oh I could” Willow looks at him enquiringly and with a certain amount of trepidation, but nothing more is said because Buffy walks back in. And Willow is left wondering what he meant.
Willow made her excuses and escaped to her room with her chocolate. There sat on the bed drinking, having finished putting up the blackouts, Spike asks “Are you going to tell everybody”? Buffy replies “give me time, not everybody’s going to understand, and I don’t want to alienate them” Spike counters “it was never an issue with Angel” Buffy puts her arms around him pulls him down onto the bed and says “your not Angel, I love you baby, They’ll live with it, I’ll tell everybody tomorrow” Spike replies “don’t rush because of me” Buffy looks puzzled and says “don’t you want them to know then, you’d rather keep it a secret, worried what it will do to your reputation when people find out your shagging the Slayer” she looks angry now. Spike laughs and says “I don’t care if you write an open letter to the newspaper, I love you, I just don’t want them to change your mind, I can’t lose you, I’ll kill them all first” Buffy relaxes they make love, but it worries her what he said, she’d seen first hand the things he’d done for Drusilla in the name of love, would he really hurt her friends if they tried to change her mind? She wouldn’t let that happen.
I’d kill him first she thought.
There’s a fine line between love and hate.
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