Title: Return of the Undead
Disclaimer: Spike and the rest of Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB Co. The Spike’s Slave’s are characters from Spike’s Timora mailing list.
Rating: M
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He groaned and rolled over in his bed. His mattress was as hard as a rock. “Oh wait”, he thought sarcastically, “it is rock isn’t it?” He groaned and sat up. Night was just falling, and the stony room was stuffy from the heat from the day. “Bugger. Just imagine. Me, one of the most powerful, not to mention handsomest and debonair, demon there ever was, is now reduced to a cowering little proxy of a vampire. I cant even bite, for goodness sake!” Spike brought on his game face to a little rat sitting in the
corner of the mausoleum. As he crept towards it, a spasm began to overtake his head, until it became a blinding white pain that left him writhing on the floor. He waiting for it to pass, and he threw himself on the crypt that had been his bed. “I cant believe I’m here. A crypt... in Sunnydale, no less. I should have gotten rid of the Slayer a long time ago. But noooo. I had to be brave lil Spike and put up with all the nonsense, when I just should have killed the little brat and split. Now look at me. No house, no women, no money, no blood, no damn pride. I have to rely on the bloody butcher for my daily dose. What a weakling. But no worries Spike. All will end up fine”, he added with a little sniff. He grabbed his black leather duster and threw it over his uniform black pants and shirt. He patted down his bleach blond hair, and headed out. He knew he looked good. Since vamps don’t have reflections, he judged his appearance on how other women looked at him. He hasn’t gotten anything less than long appreciative glances, so he had no worries.
“Where to go...where to go?”, he muttered to himself. Then he sighed and shook his head. Who was he kidding? Where else was there to go? This is Sunnydale, a small suburban city, not some exotic place. The Bronze was basically the only hot night spot. But the thought of all the fresh young females just full of blood seemed to cheer him up. He picked up the pace and began to
whistle. Then he stopped. Why the hell was he whistling? He shook his head and continued on. He paused for a second. A strange sense of dread was gnawing at his chest. Was it just his imagination, or was he being followed? The street was crowded, so he couldn’t be sure, but he was beginning to get a distinct feeling that someone was following him. Being a demon has its perks, like immortality and heightened senses. He quickened his pace to the corner of a building and crept around the corner, lurking in the shadows, watching the stream of people pass by, varying each person to figure out who could be following him. Alas, all the people were in groups and he couldn’t figure it out. As he walked onwards, he still couldn’t shake his strange feeling.
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“Yeah baby!”, he exclaimed as he walked in to club. The music was jumping, and even thought it was still considered early, people had already crowded the dance floor. He walked to the bar for a drink and to check out the young blood. Suddenly, he stopped. There was other vamps there. He could sense them. He couldn’t tell who they were though. The chip in his head made some of his powers muddled, but he could definatly sense others of his kind around him. But he wasn’t worried. What would they do to him? He was Spike, after all. He turned his attention back to the crowd.
“Hmmm, not bad. Now there’s one who could use some Spike loving”, he thought to himself as he crossed over to a young girl sitting by herself at a table. He walked over to her and sat down in the seat next to her. She was young, maybe 17 or 18, at least young to him, considering he was 126 years old. She had an exotic look about her, with shiny black hair, and large brown eyes. She was in a sexy black outfit. It made her appear very confident, but the look in her eyes betrayed her. Her eyes looked nervous and held a certain naivity. Probably her first time to a club, he mulled.
“This seats not taken now, is it?”, he asked her in his wonderful Cockney accent, with a lazy smile.
“N-no”, she stammered, melting under his watchful gaze. “Please, have a seat.”
“Now, what’s your name kitten?”, he asked.
“Its Angel”, she whispered.
“Angel?” Great, of all the girls here, he chose the one with the same name as his dear sire, the great poof. Memories of the vamp gone soft flooded his head. He sneered. “How bouts I call you kitten. How bout it luv?”
“You can call me whatever you want”, she replied as he smiled. “Might I ask your name?”
“You can call me Spike, kitten”
“What a sexy name. How old are you then, Spike?”
He pondered. He couldn’t right tell her he was a vamp and was 126 years old. “Hmmm, you can consider me 22, I suppose.” After all, that was about his age when he was sired, so it wasn’t a complete lie. What was with his sudden conciense? Maybe because he hung out with the Scooby Gang so much before, when he had to break down and finally ask for their help. They weren’t a very good influence on him, he thought grimly.
“Really? That’s pretty ancient”, she giggled. “I’m only 17. Jailbait, you know. But that’s okay, isn’t it?”
“Of course pet. What would we do that would get me into any trouble?” he drawled. She giggled again softly and looked down at her hands which were folded on her lap. He felt a sense of recognition when he looked at her. Where could he have seen her? But then, he had met many people in his 126 years. He could have met her before, or she could just remind him of someone. Yeah,
that’s probably it, he thought. “Have we ever met before luv?” he questioned, just to stay on the safe side.
She widened her eyes and shrugged. “I think I would have remembered you if we had ever met, so I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”
He merely shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I just thought we might have met before.” She nodded and accepted his reply.
He looked around and groaned. He had spotted Anya and Xander looking cuddly on one of the sofas. With his luck, Buffy and the whole gang would show up at any moment. He groaned again, louder this time, so that Angel looked up at him.
“Is something the matter?” she asked, concerned.
“Not a fret, pup. But how bout we get out of here? Its getting a little too crowded in here for my taste.”
She widened her eyes again, and nodded her head. “Okay. Just let me tell my friend that I’m leaving, or she’ll have a heat attack. Stay right here, okay? Don’t go anywhere”, she said, looking like she was worried that he was pulling her leg, and was going to desert her. She left, but returned a moment later, looking relieved that he was still there. He stood up and grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door. He couldn’t help but notice the indecision and hesitance in her eyes.
“Don’t worry luv. You’ll be safe. I don’t bite” he said. “Not anymore” he muttered bitterly under his breath.
“What was that?” she asked innocently.
“Nothing kitten. Don’t worry. I’ll have you home by bedtime.” He looked back to smile at her, and suddenly, a great black cloth was pulled over his head. He tried to struggle, but the searing pain came with every punch he tried to throw.
Realizing it was useless to fight back, he sagged against his kidnapper, and thought. Who would want to kidnap a useless vamp like him? Not Buffy... this wasn’t her style. Angel was battling his little inner demons in Los Angeles, so Spike didn’t consider him a culprit. Another demon or vamp? Maybe...but why him? Maybe because when he realized that he couldn’t hit humans, but could use himself on demons, he took every opportunity to lash out. Grrr. This was what his good-deeding had brought him? Another reason to hate the Scooby Gang. So...this would be his end. Almost 200 years of reigning glory, all to end because he had gone soft. That stupid, blasted chip! He was like Angel now- except he was good-looking of course. That at least made him feel better. Angel...oh dear. What had happened to his little companion? He hoped they didn’t hurt her. Oh bugger. There goes that conscience again... All of a sudden, he felt something solid connect with his skull, and he slipped into unconsciousness.
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He was surrounded by blackness. He couldn’t see anything, but he could faintly hear voices, but they sounded a hundred miles away. The air smelled sweet, like ladies perfume. Then he realized that he was lying down on something soft and that his arms and legs were tied up to a... bed? What the bloody hell was going on? The voices were getting louder and he struggled to listen, to understand what they were saying. It sounded like a dozen of people all at one, and it made his head spin, but he had to concentrate to figure out what was going on.
“Carmen! You probably killed him when you hit him!”
“Chrissy...he already is dead, dipshit!”
“Oh yeah...But still, you probably hurt him a lot!”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to him”
“What are we going to do now Amanda?”
“I don’t know just yet Sam”
“I’m hungry!!!”
“Nobody let Reaper fall asleep!”
“Charmaine, do you think the rumours are all true?”
“They just might be, Theresa”
“How come Angel got to be the bait? I’m sexier than she is!”
“Hey now Sophie!”
“You know, I still don’t forgive you guys for leaving me here last time”
“Can I unzip his pants? I just wanna peek”
“No you cant!”
“Oh my God! Sisters, I think he’s waking up!” At that, all the voices became hushed. Spike struggled to open his eyes. As he did, I caught sight of a crowd of girls hovering over his bed. Then he remembered what had happened. He strained against the ropes that held him, but the pain came back again. He lay there, catching his breath, trying to regain his senses.
“Who are you all? What do you want with me?” he asked.
“What? You mean you don’t remember us? Umph, how rude. But that’s okay. You’re Spike.” said one of the girls.
“Yes, I am Spike. Now who the bloody hell are you?”
“Oh dear. You don’t remember your own fan club? I know if I had a fan club, I would remember them.”
“Padi dear, who would make you a fan club?”
“Oh shut your trap Alli”
“Marsha, get him a cold cloth for his head. He must have a terrible headache”
“Sorry bout that, by the way. I guess I don’t know my own strength” said a girl sheepishly from the front.
“We, William dear, are Spike’s Slaves, as you might remember. We are all terribly sorry that we had to kidnap you, but see, there was a rumour going on around the mill, and we had to come back to see if it was true.”
“And what rumour might that be, kittens?” he asked.
“Well, that you are now, well, how would we say it? Ummm...”
“Impotent,” another interjected.
“Velona! Don’t be rude!”
“I’m sorry! But that’s the word, isn’t it?”
“Well, yes. But its not true, is it? Spike...?”
A thick silence hung in the air. Then Spike cleared his throat, and shook his head slowly. “Yes, its true. Sorry my pets. A group of pansy army boys captured me and stuck a blasted chip in my brain, that has rendered me useless. For biting that is,” he said hastily.
The group nodded in unison. The one who had questioned him before spoke up again. “Well, we all discussed on the way over here what would happen if the rumor was true. And its decided.”
“And?” Spike asked. “What have you all decided?” Thoughts ran through his mind. Were they going to leave him here to wither away, having decided he wasn’t worthy of their love? They could even stake him, he thought panicked. Please, just make it go quickly. He closed his eyes and waited for their judgment.
“Yes...we all decided, well, that it doesn’t matter if you have your powers or not. You are sexy and gorgeous with or without them. And that’s why we like you. It may be a little shallow, but that’s the truth.” The other girls nodded in agreement.
“You mean...you don’t care? It doesn’t matter that I’m as scary as a bunny rabbit now?” Spike asked in amazement.
“Of course not. Why would you think that?”
“Well, a whole lot of people seem to think that way. You girls really must like me a lot. You came all the way back just to check up on me? How sweet”
“Yeah. And to get Reaper back too.” Angel said, laughing.
“Hey, you know, that wasn’t very funny. I nearly had a heart attack when I figured out what had happened. And for your information, I got those little nose strips now, so there,” said a girl, sticking out her tongue.
“Thank goodness for that,” Angel retorted.
Spike looked at her. “You tricked me”
Angel got flustered. “Yes...well, uh, you see, we had to figure out how to lure you here, and we figured that we could seduce you. Or something like that. We knew that the vamp sense would lead you to me, so yeah...” she trailed off.
“But why didn’t you just ask me to come? I would have,” Spike replied back confused.
Angel turned to another girl. “Elizabeth, why didn’t we think of that before?”
“Well, um, see, we didn’t know how the chip was going to make you act. So we decided to use the most... cautious approach,” said Elizabeth.
“Oh, I see. Well, have you figured out that I couldn’t hurt a fly?” The girls nodded. “Great, so then, would you all be so kind as to untie me now?” All the vamps scrambled to untie their beloved Spike from the little bed in the motel room they had rented out. Emma and Melanie helped him to his feet.
As soon as he was released, Spike stood up and stretched out. “Right then. The night is still young. All is forgiven. Now how bout me and my girls go dancing?”
The group nodded in agreement. They walked outside and Spike stopped suddenly. The girls looked at him questionably. “Hey now. Who was the one that wanted to unzip my pants?”
The girls laughed and pointed to a red faced girl in the back of the crowd. “Dana!”
The girl blushed furiously and even more so when Spike walked over to her, and whispered in her ear, “We just might get to that part later on...” Dana giggled, ducked her head and continued walking. A moment later a voice called out.
“Haha! I knew that you wouldn’t return Spike’s action, had he offered. Chicken.” said the voice.
“Oh shut up Sarah”, Dana muttered, smiling.
“At least he offered. To me! So there”
“Sure sure sure. There’s enough for everyone,” Spike replied. The girls giggled, and the motley crew continued. They reached the
Bronze, and for Spike’s sake, hoped the slayer had gone. But they were greeted by yellow police tape wrapped around the club.
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“What the hell happened here?” Spike wondered.
A passing girl had heard him, and stopped to gossip about what happened. “They, like, found a dead body in the back room! Isn’t that so way gross! It looked like he died from a vampire bite! Isn’t that so, like, freaky? Taataa!” she sang. With a little skip, the girl bounced away.
“That girl makes Britney Spears look like the poster child for anti-pep,” Victoria declared, and everyone laughed.
Everyone, except for Lucy. She put her head down, and even in the night, they all coul tell she was blushing. They all noticed it at the same time, and came up with the same deduction.
“Oohhh, Lucy, you didn’t!” exclaimed Emma.
“Yeah, without even sharing, or even offering?” sniffed Kate.
Lucy grimaced. “I’m sorry sisters! But I was hungry! And Angel was taking so long with Spike here, that I couldn’t help it. He was so cute! And his neck looked so yummy...”
“Down girl. That’s okay. We all get tempted sometimes, but still. Try not to make a habit of laying the bodies everywhere,” Laura reprimanded.
“Well, I didn’t think they would find the him so early anyways,” Lucy replied.
Claire spoke up. “Hey. I don’t know about you guys, but maybe we should leave. Its too tempting here. I’m hungry and I just wanna jump on someone and suck em dry. Even with all the cops hanging out and about. So, lets go somewhere else.” The rest of the group agreed.
The girls and Spike walked around town till just about dawn.
“Oh dear” Joanne sighed. “Girls, our flight from LA is in 2 hours, and we still have to pack and get there. Besides, the sun is about to come up. Looks like its time to part ways again, Spike.” They all walked back to the motel, packed, and gathered outside to say their goodbyes and promised that they would be back as soon as they could. They all boarded the bus, and took off, poking their arms outside to wave goodbye to the sexiest man undead.
The chorus of goodbyes faded as Spikes image disappeared in the distance. Till next time....