Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. We do not own Ashley Angel, Gregory Smith, Sean Astin, Dan Miller, Hayden Christensen, Eminem, Hailie Jade, Kim, or Dre. However we do own Brandy, Melissa, Adam, Aurora, Chloe, Erin, Lil Marshall, and Patrick. Please read the Character Guide and all the previous stories otherwise this will make no sense whatsoever.

When we last left our dynamic duo Eminem was placed on trial by Ashley Angel and was sentenced to community service, had to pay some fines, and is not allowed near the Angels for two years. One would think that since an affair caused so much pain and suffering Brandy would remain faithful to Ashley but…NO!

Ashley: Brandy, I’d like you to meet my friend Sean Astin.

Brandy: Hello Sean. It’s nice to meet you.

Sean: Likewise. Ashley always is going on about what a fine, loving, and devoted wide you are.

(Melissa and Greg start laughing so hard they are crying.)

Sean: Are they alright?

Brandy: (Kicks Melissa) They’re fine.

At this point Dre would normally step in and tell Mrs. Angel not to sleep with Sean Astin and say something along the lines of “End well this will not” when she ignores his advice. But after a huge scandal involving oral sex, Hailie Jade, and a night of pillow humping Dre was taken away by Yoda for some counseling. In this place Holiday Bear was sent. Since he had been given such an important task the Holiday Bear’s ego grew quite large. Tired of listening to him yap Ashley tied the bear to a bedside lamp and taped his mouth shut. So he was no help.

Nine months later…

Melissa: Congratulations guys. Patrick is such beautiful baby.

Ashley: Thank you. Greg, I have a son and you don’t!

Greg: Sure you do.

Lil Marshall: Mommy, isn’t Patrick Sean’s middle name?

Brandy: (Eyeing Lil Marshall suspiciously) Yes, that’s right.

Lil Marshall: Just checking.

Aurora: I think the word of the day should be placenta in honor of the new baby.

Chloe: (Wrinkles her nose) Giving birth sounds messy.

Lil Marshall: Wanna hear how babies get made Chloe?

Chloe: AHHH!!!

Adam: Seriously guys! It’s late and I’m tired. Can we go Mommy?

Melissa: Sure. Greg why don’t you get the car started. I need to talk to Brandy.

Ashley: I’ll help you out Greg.

(The boys and children leave. Lil Marshall and Aurora remain.)

Melissa: Straight up Brandy…is this Ashley’s baby?

Lil Marshall: What do you think Aunt Melissa?

Aurora: I thought everyone knew this was Sean’s kid.

Eminem’s voice: DUH!

Melissa: So everyone knew except me? Where have I been?

Lil Marshall: Having sex with Dan Miller?

Melissa: Oh. Good point.

Recently Melissa had a new baby girl Erin. She was sure Greg was the father…well pretty sure.

Melissa: BRANDY!!

Brandy: What’s up Mel?

Melissa: I have a huge problem.

Brandy: Is something wrong with Erin?

Melissa: No, but it’s about her.

Lil Marshall: Uncle Greg isn’t her father huh?

Melissa: (To Brandy) How does he know all of this?

Brandy: It’s not rocket science.

Lil Marshall: So it’s Dan Miller’s baby.

(Melissa shakes her head.)

Brandy: Then who’s baby is it?

Melissa: That’s the problem…I don’t know. You guys need to help me out.

Patrick: MOMMY!!! Aurora is flipping through her dictionary at a rather past pace. She might get a paper cut!!!

Brandy: It’s okay baby. She’ll be fine.

Lil Marshall: How can you not know who you slept with? At least my mom sticks to one guy at a time.

Brandy: Thanks darling. That was very nice of you to say.

Melissa: GUYS!!

Brandy: Okay, it probably happened at the Rainbow Tour Reunion party. All of your types where there.

Melissa: My types?

Lil Marshall: You like pansies Aunt Melissa.

Melissa: Oh, touche.

Brandy: Well, how about Shane West?

Lil Marshall: Twitty?

Melissa: God I hope not! He’s only 17.

(Lil Marshall and Brandy name about fifty more guys and finally figure out it was…)

Melissa:HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN! That explains why Erin is obsessed with Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones.

Lil Marshall: Poor stupid Uncle Greg. He thinks Erin is his daughter.

Brandy: You are such slut Mel!

Ashley: Brandy, Sean’s here!!

Melissa: If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black.

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