"Covet Thy Enemy"
Paige's Place March 26, 2008 It had been three days of sleeping and ghosting around her apartment as Joshua tried in vain to please her, though she would not say a word to him. Yes, he was in her apartment and yes, he had stayed with her (protecting her) getting her water and eventually food, but he was merely another presence, someone she would have to endure until she was fit to take care of herself. She had been feeling better today and felt most of her strength back, enough so, she felt, that Joshua should be getting on his merry way. She sat on the balcony, her jacket pulled around her and silently watching the boats make their way in from the bay, as her mind worked feverishly again to tuck away all the data it had been fed. Joshua finally came out on the balcony when the sun had almost completely gone down and handed her a cup of coffee (decaf she noted). She took it silently with barely a look at him, then returned to her thoughts and the boat watching. He sat down, leaning back on the chair his huge form barely fit in. He had been working out on the Bowflex Gray had delivered (for her) and Joshua's arms and chest were pumped, faintly glistening with sweat. His hair was tied back and he held a passiveness about him that she wasn't sure intrigued or infuriated her. "Do you intend to ignore me forever?" he asked quietly stretching his arms over his head. "Get out," she said evenly without looking at him. "Paige," Joshua tried again. The pleading tone in his voice was becoming, well, annoying after almost three days of it. She looked at him, her face blank, "what was in that data?" She didn't expect him to tell but she figured it was well worth the try. She saw the look in his eyes when the visor had first been pulled off. It was unmistakable...he was worried. And worried meant emotions, and emotions meant he might mess up somewhere or give up some intel to ease his guilty conscience. Paige, her past never too far, was an expert on having a guilty conscience. He looked a bit surprised at first that she had even spoken to him, but it was gone in almost the same instant. "That's irrelevant," he said quietly. "Is it?" she said sarcastically to him, getting up. "Well, excuse me for asking Mr. Center of the fucking Universe," she hissed at him going inside. He was up after her in an instant and she knew two things, that the war between them would come to a head right there and then and that he was really angry. It was what she wanted...a fight...to exasperate him until he gave up and left her alone. "You know..." he said harshly. She stared at him, the living room couch between them, "know what?" she snapped. "Know that in that big stupid head of yours...your sense of reality is a few fries short of a happy meal?" He shook his head a little his face twisted in confusion, "what the hell are you talking about?" "This Joshua," she said putting her hands in the air, "this is your idea of freedom? Huh? Take the offer, you said, it all works out in the end, you promised," her voice started to rise as she moved in front of him. He just stared back at her and she clearly saw the anger rising in his own eyes. "My idea of freedom," she seethed, trembling in front of him hating him with every fiber of her being, "does not include YOU coming in here whenever you want, drugging me, and forcing...your shit in my head!" her voice rose in steady decibels. "I didn't want it..." Joshua started. "Oh please," she cut him off, "save the drama for someone who cares." "You just don't understand..." "Understand what?" she screamed at him, backing away. "You're still HERE Joshua – you still have control – you TOOK me and FORCED me to do something against my will..." "I SAVED your life," he shouted back, startling her. She balked inwardly (pushed him), and he advanced on her. "You ungrateful bitch, you don't know half of what goes on...I worked my ASS off getting as many ops as I could out of that hell hole. Even with Mike in charge some material just wouldn't work out...you included." "What?" she said confused. Had he called her an ungrateful bitch? After what he did!? "They wanted you cancelled Paige," he said, still angry but not quite as loud. Cancelled..."Why? I didn't do anything..." He laughed at her, "didn't do anything? Are you kidding me? Who are you bullshitting Paige? You killed over two dozen operatives with that little virus you cooked up...think we didn't find out about that?" he smiled knowingly at her. She stared at him. How the hell did he know about that? "I didn't..." "Save the drama Paige," he said sarcastically. "When Oversight dredged all the computer files and databases, we found a lot of things, including a little file from someone named...Gabriel...ring a bell?" Paige clenched her jaw but said nothing. "Uh huh," he smiled moving even closer to her. "Turns out good old Gabriel was so impressed with your work on that Hu virus that he kept everything in a neat little file buried deep in Section's database. Shows everything you did and how well you manipulated it." Paige started shaking again with anger (or would that be fear?). "He thought you did good work in Korea, well, he was most impressed with how you STOLE it and then made it even more deadly and effective once you got back to Section. Nice trick." "No, I never did anything..." "Shut up," he said flatly. Her jaw clamped shut as she stared at him wanting to take a step back but fearing the consequence (guilt) should she attempt a retreat. "Gabriel was reassigned before the file was completed, therefore, we could never actually prove who manipulated your virus in the end or who put it into the Section halls...but it's not too difficult to put two and two together." He stared at her hard, breathing heavy from his outburst, but she had nothing to say to him. She turned but he grabbed her arm, forcing her to face him, "you will NOT walk away while I'm speaking to you," he said, the anger once again in his voice. She pulled her arm out, "fuck you," she hissed before she could stop herself. He grabbed both of her arms pushing her against the wall and stood in front of her, holding her there. "Fuck you, huh?" he said angrily. "Let me tell you something...you were originally going to be transferred out to an army base to do bio-weapon research," he said with a clenched jaw. Paige's face twisted up in disgust, she would never do that research again. "But when Oversight found that file they got scared and had you reassigned back into Section, into the labs, under heavy security." "What?" Paige whispered. "It would have been far worse than you could ever imagine, but they didn't care. They knew you couldn't live like that long and you would end up cancelled, but they would rather have had you in Section and dead than alive and not under any control." "Under control? I wouldn't hurt anybody," Paige said shaking her head appalled by the character flaws Oversight had assigned to her. "It's called self preservation Paige, everyone does it. You proved to them times over that when the push came to shove...you thought only of yourself." "That's not true," she countered. "You may not see it that way...but they do," he said finally quieting. "Why didn't they just cancel me then?" she said trying to move away from him, still angry. "Because I worked out a deal," he said gripping her harder. "A deal? I'm a fucking human BEING Joshua not a blue chip stock!" she kicked out at him, forcing him to release his grip. He looked up at her angrily but she hadn't moved. The thought had finally been processed, the pieces fit together once again. "The Directory," she said in almost a whisper. The anger disappeared from his face and he took a step forward to her. She flinched, stopping him in his tracks. How could they do this again? Joshua spoke evenly, "giving you the Directory then sending you out on missions was contradictory. It didn't make sense to give you something so valuable then put you in a situation to be compromised. I convinced those in Oversight that having you on the outside gave them...gave us...an added layer of protection." She stared at him in disbelief and disgust as he continued. "Once Oversight completed reorganizing the Sections, the Directory was to be encrypted and given to you. In return, you would function within the SIA..." "Until when?" she asked barely above a whisper. "It was the only card I had to play to get you out of there...I couldn't defend or justify any of your actions..." "Until when?" she repeated more firmly. "I don't know," he said, shaking his head. She looked away disgusted. "Why bother then Joshua? Why bother with any of it? Why don't you just lock me up somewhere and hardwire my head into something..." "I didn't want it to go like this. I didn't want to tell you what the data was," he said, "they just see what your capable of doing as..." "What?" she asked lifting her head and leaning it back against the wall. He looked in her eyes, and she could see those flecks of gold again amongst the shimmering blue and how he tried to will her to believe him. "They see it as a tool, something to use. They don't see that it's attached to a person." "And you do?" she whispered warning herself to keep her guard up. "I try to see both," he whispered back, his eyes dropping momentarily before meeting hers again. They were both silent for a moment before she finally spoke, "why should I believe any of this?" she asked. He took only a half a step towards her, gently picked up one of her hands and placed it flat against his muscular chest and held it there. She could feel his heart pounding beneath his slick skin. He traced his fingers lightly over her extended arm. She looked up to him and he moved slowly closing his mouth over hers. She allowed him to do this, welcoming him and his bold actions. There was a strong physical attraction between the two, that was undeniable, but it hardly went past that. And it had been a long time since she had been touched, so she allowed it, selfishly, and uncaringly. He kissed her deeply, moving to her neck, as she rubbed his chest allowing his huge muscled body to turn her on. "I hated it..." he whispered in her ear hugging her tightly, "I hated doing that to you..." She didn't want to hear him, those excuses, those Section lies. She just wanted to feel his body, and she pressed herself against his groin, "Joshua," she whimpered in a soft voice eliciting a groan from him. She smiled satisfied there would be no more talking tonight. He pushed against her then, as the tension was inescapable. They managed their clothes off between desperate kisses, well, enough clothing so he could pick her legs up, push her into the wall, pin her, and enter her at the same time. It was hot, passionate, and fast, anything to get rid of some of that built up tension as quickly as possible. He was rough with her, but she didn't care and enjoyed giving in to something so instinctive and primitive. When they had reached the exhaustion point and released their pent up tension, Joshua let her down, breathing heavily across her face and holding her still, against the wall. She clung to his shoulders, the remaining bits of energy fleeing rapidly. They stood there for a moment before he sighed, picking her up. He carried her into the bedroom without saying a word and she crawled under the covers as he lay down next to her, draping a heavy forearm across her, "go to sleep," he said softly. He hadn't let her sleep very long, waking her by pressing against her, forcing her to react to his aggressive dominance. She thrilled in it, as he was eager to please, to take as well as give, and to coax as well as be coaxed. The stress her body endured the last few weeks had been erased by him, and she believed, he too, was finally satisfied, lying next to her quietly and softly stroking her skin as they both drifted into sleep. She awoke late the next morning, stretching lazily as she spied Joshua who apparently had just finished lifting again. He was only in his gym pants and his hair was tied back again, the faint glisten of sweat over his bulging muscles. He was deep in thought, sitting in her chair near the bed, and busy studying the papers in his hands. She stole the moment, though she knew not why, to see the delicate features of his face. How, although, whatever he was engrossed in was apparently business, he did, still, have a gentleness about him, something, almost impossible to imagine from one so overwhelming. "Hey," she said softly getting his attention. He looked up and smiled, "good sleep?" She smiled softly back, "I haven't slept like that in a long time." "Good," he said smiling and looking over her half-covered body, "get dressed," he said gently before getting up and moving out of the room. She shivered in the cold and wriggled into a pair of biker shorts and one of Joshua's tshirts that was way too big on her. She padded barefoot into the living room noticing the briefcase, weapon, cell phones, and stacks of paper on her coffee table. "Been busy," she commented taking the offered mug of coffee from him (caffeine this time). "That's my tshirt," he said looking at her. She shrugged, "not anymore." He blinked a couple times clearly not expecting such an answer, then shook his head. "Sit," he said motioning to the smaller couch, as he himself sat on the larger one facing the laptop. He made a point to touch the gun, move it just slightly from the current position, just to let her know, she assumed, that he meant business. What he didn't get, was that the inflection in his voice was enough for her. "You need to do something for me," he said staring at her. Paige suppressed a shiver, they were not the eyes that looked at her so hungrily hours ago, "haven't you demanded enough of me?" He arched an eyebrow at her, ignoring her question, "you need to draw the last symbol you can remember from the data." He was back to the 'all business' Joshua. She considered her words carefully, taking a sip of the steaming coffee. She then looked to him, meeting those dark colors of blue, "and then you'll leave me alone?" He looked hurt for a moment before he finally nodded his head, yes. She put the mug down and took a piece of paper and the marker he handed to her. She stared at the floor then, attempting to recall the data that took almost three days to tuck away deep in her mind. It took some time and Paige wondered vaguely why it was so large? There had to be something else in there... "Got it," she sang quietly as the image popped up in her head. She drew the seven lined symbol and held it up to show Joshua. "A few more," he stated hovering over his laptop without looking. He relayed off bits of code where she had to find the closest symbol, draw it, and repeat. This was the testing he had spoken of to Gray to make sure she retained everything, or damn near close to everything. "Ok, that's it," he said after requesting nine symbols. She handed the paper over to Joshua with a smirk and tossed the marker at him. He smirked back, then turned his attention to the devices he had hooked to his laptop. She almost expected him then, could visualize it happening, his hand going to his ear and his voice, softly over the comm 'Birkoff'. But he did neither except for tucking a stray hair behind an ear. But why would he? He didn't work for Section. She grabbed her joe and the remote and flicked on the tv searching for Sportscenter. Due to their...activities...last night she had not the time (nor the desire) to check for pre-season scores. Hockey would have to do as she sighed and watched the highlights. "You got the last symbol," he said evenly, "we'll have to go through the others." Perhaps he thought she would help with this? "They're right," she said, shutting that door quickly, "stupid 'Canes won, damn them," she muttered. If she frustrated him, she didn't care, and he sighed, resolving himself to shutting down the laptop and putting some of the papers in his briefcase. "Do you ever worry about forgetting anything?" he asked as he packed the thin computer into a sleeve. "No," she said looking at him. She paused for a moment biting her bottom lip softly. "I worry about...what happens when I run out of space to put things." He stopped what he was doing to look at her. She smiled half-heartedly, "what happens..." she said in almost a whisper, "when I'm not useful anymore...but I don't worry about forgetting...I never forget." The layer of truth veiled the implied request for retribution if it should present itself. She would, at least, not forget those that had hurt her. And he was not alone on the list... He stared at her for a moment before dropping his gaze and clearing his throat. He wrote something quickly and held it out for her to see...a phone number. "My private cell...if you need anything," he stated carefully, before folding it and placing it, with the rest of the papers, inside his briefcase. "I'm sure I won't," she said getting up. He meant to leave, she wasn't stupid, but he would get no inquiry as to where from her, nor a request for him to stay. "But thank you," she nodded and took a few steps towards the bathroom. She turned around searching for exactly how to separate the 'thanks' into what she really wanted to thank him for and what she wanted him to go to hell for. She sighed, in the end, saying nothing and nodding her head only once. He nodded in return and looked as if to say something as well, but remained silent. She turned then, satisfied, for now, he was through with her and went to take a shower. Her mind had already tucked all the data safely back into her mental filing cabinets. She believed, had she the desire to care, they were filed under 'M' for 'More useless shit They stuck in her head'. She stretched, feeling the tightness in those muscles she hadn't used in so long and grinned recalling the many images of the night before. Sometimes, she giggled, sometimes having the photographic memory wasn't such a bad thing. Her mind then moved forward to finding the bait shop that had eluded her four days ago and getting out on the bay for some fishing. When she got out of the shower, Joshua had already left, leaving no trace, save his soft scent, that he had ever been there. She picked up the pillow closest to where he had been sitting and tossed it on the bed before setting the alarm and leaving her apartment... Return