"L'ame Noir"
	Saturday 5th April 2008 06.20hrs She stood on the balcony, watching the mist swirling around the bay. She hadn't slept, hadn't tried to, knowing she wouldn't be able to; hearing the screams of the girl whose leg she had broken, deliberately. She could not believe that had been her last night, it still made her shiver to realise how brutal she had been. After the incident, she had left Bello's without a word, knowing as she did that she left Paige and Jordan staring after her in disbelief. She was slowly becoming lost in the uncertainties that enclosed her, if Gray or Rebecca found out about last night, she would be cancelled for certain, and she knew she deserved nothing less. It was almost as though someone else had occupied her body and mind last night, she couldn't believe that she was capable of such coldness, not after she had come so far. Friday, 5th April 2001 00.30hrs She had been steadily drinking, keeping pace with Paige, though not drunk; Jordan had long since backed out of the drinking competition. Saf had been enjoying herself, flirting with the men, playing pool and deliberately goading them, enjoying their reactions as well as feeling smug about the jealousy she was provoking from their women. The showdown came soon afterwards, Saf had gone to the bathroom, and one of the women had followed her there. She started accusing Saf of coming on to her man, which Saf didn't deny. When Saf didn't respond to her bait, the woman had tried to slap her, and it felt like Saf was suddenly engulfed in red fire. She mechanically defended herself from the slap, and kicked out, her boots hitting home just in front of the others knee; she hadn't held anything back, it was a move made in cold anger. The woman's leg bone snapped, making a loud audible sound in the small enclosed space, and screams rang out, Saf looked down at the crying woman at her feet, and felt nothing, no anger, no pity, just nothing. She had walked back into the bar and picked up her jacket, and continued walking out as though she were in a room full of strangers, and knew no-one. Paige had just watched her, she had felt those bright green eyes upon her back, but she hadn't stopped, hadn't looked around, just kept on walking. It wasn't until she was on the bike, and riding out of town, that she felt anything, and she had just kept on driving, trying to outdistance the hurt. The wetness on her cheeks were tears of silent rage, but she just ignored them and continued her solitary drive. Her one thought was could she be so uncontrollable that she was a menace? In the end, she had no idea of where she had been, she had ridden around all night, unable to return home, or unwilling to return until nearly dawn. She had no idea of what to expect, or if a bullet would find its target before she had taken many steps; but like a wounded animal to the lair, she returned home to face the consequences of her actions. Saturday 5th April 2008 06.45hrs Now she stood in the cool morning air, helpless to understand what had gone before. How she was going to be able to deal with it she had no idea, she didn't even know where to start or why it had happened, so the how to fix it was never going to materialise in her mind. She pushed the cold, vicious, Saf back into the depths of her head, locking her down in chains of her own making. The phone was whining, its call more urgent than the ten times it had rung before. She looked at it in distaste, before heading upstairs for a shower; she smelt something rotten, as though the decomposition had already started. Under the spray of hot water, she couldn't hear the phone ringing anymore, and felt a wave of tiredness creep over her. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her, and walked out into the bedroom. She had pulled the curtains closed, giving it a dim light, and still damp she crept beneath the covers, and closed her eyes. She could hide out here for a couple of days, she wouldn't be missed until at least Tuesday, and she hoped to get a grip on herself long before then. Return