What is the definition of an Arkansas virgin?
A girl that can run faster than the governor.
How did Bill and Hillary meet?
They were dating the same girl in high school.
How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying?
Only a Bill Clinton supporter would not know the answer to that one!
How does Hillary know that Chelsea got her period?
She tastes blood on Bill's prick!
How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face?
If his lips are moving, then he is lying.
What do Bill Clinton and a 15 watt light bulb have in common?
Neither one is very bright.
What does Clinton do to lose weight?
He runs from the draft.
Why does Hillary always try to get on top?
Because Bill can only F--- up!
What would Clinton do if he did not get into politics?
He would become a botanist, and play with Flowers.
What is Bill's fondest wish right now?
That someone would wave to him using more than one finger.
Did you hear that Bill had Air Force One remodeled?
Now it has two left wings.
If Bill and Hillary jumped off of the Washington Monument, who would land first?
Who really cares???
How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck?
By trying to save both faces.
If Bill, Hillary, Al and Tipper took a boat ride, and the boat capsized, who would be saved?
The United States Of America.
Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails?
Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.
Why does Chelsea look so stupid and Ugly?
Heredity, of course!
Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?
If they sent her to a public school, the Secret Service would be out-gunned.
What is the difference between Bill and his father?
His father only screwed half of the country!
What do Clinton and JFK have in common?
They have not had any brains for the last thirty years.
What happened when Bill got a shot of testosterone?
He turned into Hillary.
Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely?
Becuase if she dies, Bill becomes president.
My brother explained why Bill Clinton is having so many woes.
Bill Clinton has been in the flowers and weeds.
What do the Titanic and the Clinton Administration have in common?
They are both going down fast.
How many Clinton administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two--one to screw it in the faucet, while the other tells us that everything possible is being done to help the situation.
How many Republicans does it take to raise your taxes?
None, the Democrats do that.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a gay?
Chelsea
What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in?
A Noose
What kind of jewelry does Hillary Clinton look best in?
Handcuffs
What Biblical character does Hillary most resemble?
Jezebel
You know what the problem is with political jokes is, don't you?
They get elected
What famous Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hillary Clinton famous for?
If you divorce your wife, is she still your cousin?