"There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth ..." For a very long time, we the editors felt that there was an intrinsic need for the BITSians to express themselves in their own natural self. We felt a distinct need for a medium to raise the average 'intellectual' and 'awareness' level of our fellow coexistors [both biological forms]. What with the increasing ghottu sessions, CG pressures and indiscriminate transfers compounded by unwarranted near maxes and cracks, we felt that the flow of vital information and stream of clear knowledge was getting dangerously impeded. So we herewith bring out for your sake "TIT-BITS" (no pun intended). And in remembrance of the 50th year of Independence, in order to retain our freedom of speech and expression, we prefer to remain anonymous. Hope you have as much pleasure reading this as we had writing it ! - Editorial Board. The glass of chai has always stood for all aspects of a BITSians life. In fact we may safely say that a BITSians life flows over glasses of chai's. This innocent chai has been the witness to innumerable eurekha's, proposals, refusals and has consoled many a faltering heart. The one and only permanent companion that one has had over all ups and downs of life here has been this humble glass of chai. When we sat down to brainstorm for a symbol to portray us, no other symbol came close to being as eloquent as this glass of chai ! We sincerely hope that you will be able to reminiscence about and ingrain yourself into the BITSian tradition as you go through this over yet another glass of chai ... Wanted liberal, kinky girl, 5'4"-5'7", for sem use for a well-suited, old Bong doing Eco who landed a job at TATA ELXI (Marketing). Religion, caste, sex no bar. 193118 Wanted short, cute, comely girl for not so serious relationship for a tall, oldest, illad, comp-stud aspiring to be a Dean. Girls with Bio background preferred. Name should preferably be an anagram. 115025 Alliance invited from beautiful, highly educated (dualite), 'career' oriented girl for tiny, old, casata loving saurashtrian involved in union screwing activities. 193725 Tall, kinky, jovial, football stud, chemical dualite, with offer in hand at WIPRO, aspiring to have fu in US, wants a tall, fun loving fourth year girl (preferably chemical) who is enjoys walking a lot. 041125 Desperately looking for a musically oriented, homely, ambitious tamil girl who promises not to tie a rakhi for a senile, confused TCS stud with maternal instincts who lives in MB! 211119 For a very tall balding mallu, job in CITIL, desired an open minded, intelligent (high CG), athletic girl . A long standing sound relationship is necessary. 010315 Wanted a soft delicate girl who can play bridge & tennis, and can swim, for a barbarian, 5'11", with a TCS job in hand. 184413 Old mallu casanova who has fascination for heavenly bodies needs help to cope up with his MMS CDC's, from an intelligent, outgoing cosmopolitan girl. 222417 Ex-PAP Coord, who strongly believes MAN proposes, GOD disposes, after failing in 5 proposal attempts in a span of 8 months, is desperately looking for a girl. This baski stud has a job in WIPRO. 185302 Note : Old here always denotes a Malite, and, Replies shall be considered on a first come first served basis only. When applying, please quote the person's Matrimonial Number. A Mess ... A recent study by the department of Food Control Pune in Pilani showed that the BITSian's diet has a high nutrient content. This is attributed to the regular intake of high calorie and high protein insects. Samples of various insects (some unidentified and belonging to no known phylum or class) like flies, ants, LGMF's have been tested and all these conclusively prove that we get more energy than we actually pay for. Conclusions of Study : Mess bill is likely to increase in line with the market prices of these exotic insects. BITSians can be selective in their food intake ! The calorie contents are : Fly 120 kcal Ant 95 kcal LGMF 70 kcal Cockroach 2170 kcal All sportsmen appearing for BOSM are advised to intake cockroaches. BITS, Pilani isn't very different from the rest of India when it comes to sports. All of us invariably follow the game Cricket.So TIT-BITS sports will concentrate mainly on Cricket, of the BITSian kind. Here a bowler is always a girl and the batsman a guy. Number of runs scored is measured by the minute. It's in everyone's interest to know that bowlers are in all varieties and you are likely to be bowled over by some. Similarly there are technically sound batsmen who are refined and there are rash ones who are easy targets. It's easy to sight night watchmen around MB just before 11 P.M., though unlike it's more boring variety, these night-watchmen are the best batsmen! Initially, we shall go by zonal basis - playing the Kanji trophy. Winners of each zone will play each other later. Suggestions and reports are welcome. Statistical Lecher Ledger Starting from next issue, this column shall attempt it's utmost to answer all the BITSians queries on any topic under the sun and above it. Address any question to which you have always wanted and answer, but didn't know whom to ask. Gupsa Gupta Out of 10 BITSians having completed 1 year are suffering from hair loss. There are more couples going psenti than you think. The youngest BITSian is just 15 and the oldest 26. Newgen, A T (awti) developed a banking software that is reportedly being used by ANZ Grindlays, Standard Chartered.... There was once a make-up letter that actually started like " As I will be suffering from syphilis ... " When you start going psenti, you also start communicating in the 0-20 dB frequency range. The main source of nutrition for a normal BITSian is CHAI. A sleeping BITSian need not necessarily have his eyes closed. For verification attend any class. Of course, if you are a BITSian, you can't verify this 'coz you would then be sleeping. A person calling from S-9 to Budh Bhawan dialed 01596-42784. A BITSian (part time film star) has married a top level executive at AT&T. Ash's Postulate: "If you think that that is just putting one thing into another, the point is seriously lost" PV's Law: " All MBites are my sisters" Mal's addendum to PV's Law : "We call then Anni" Overheard : A 2nd yearites explanation ! Parent : Why is your CGPA only 4.5? Your friend next door has a CG of 9.7. BITS'i : Didn't you know appa? She is a dualite, I'm just a single degree student. My CG is only out of 5 . Overheard: Freshie: Amma, Amma, they give only one 'A' per course. So, ..... (her grade is implied here)