SMALL TALK

... On Programming and Software Development

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages.
      -- Anonymous

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
      -- Unknown

An apprentice carpenter may want only a hammerand saw, but a master craftsman employs many precision tools. Computer programming likewise requires sophisticated tools to cope with the complexity of real applications, and only practice with these tools will build skill in their use.
      -- Robert L. Kruse

An organization that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only.
      -- B. Stroustrup

An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of code.
      -- An anonymous programmer

As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, in real applications.
      -- Dave Parnas

As soon as we started programming, we found out to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.
      -- Maurice Wilkes, upon discovery of debugging, 1949

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.
      -- Chip Salzenberg

Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever.
      -- Unknown

Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. Debug only code.
      -- Dave Storer

Even the most experienced programmers find faults in their programs.
      -- HP-11C user's manual

Every program has two purposes -- one for which it was written and another for which it wasn't.
      -- Unknown

Everyone can be be taught to sculpt. Michelangelo would have had to be taught how not to. So it is with the great programmers.
      -- Unknown

GOTO statement considered harmful
      -- E. W. Dijkstra

He analyzes programmers. He is a Programmer Analyst. If he analyzed AND programmed, he would be a Programmer/Analyst.
      -- Jeremy Janke

I think we can take it for granted that any software we write now won't be used 130 years from now. (Except for banks and their COBOL apps, but that's a special case.)
      -- Bill Fenner

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
      -- Unknown

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
      -- Unknown

If we can dispel the delusion that learning about computers should be an activity of fiddling with array indexes and worrying whether X is an integer or a real number, we can begin to focus on programming as a source of ideas.
      -- harold Abelson

I'm embarassed. My own software will properly reject my own idea.
      -- Rich Salz

Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English.
      -- Unknown

Optimization hinders evolution.
      -- Unknown

Programming graphics in X is like finding the square root of PI using Roman numerals.
      -- Henry Spencer

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
      -- Rich Cook

Real programmers are those that can sleep in front of terminals ... with their eyes opened.
      -- ricS

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
      -- Larry Wall

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
      -- Unknown

Real programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
      -- Unknown

Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night.
      -- Unknown

Real programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
      -- Unknown

Real programmers program with: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
      -- Unknown

Real programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
      -- Unknown

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Monday's code.
      -- Dan Salomon

The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland"; but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman.
      -- Unknown

The computer programmer is a creator if universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs.
      -- Joseph Weizenbaum

There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
      -- C.A.R. Hoare

To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
      -- Unknown

To the systems programmer, users and applications serve only to provide a test load.
      -- Unknown

Unlike other forms of art, computer programs do 'Come to life' in a sense.
      -- David Canfield Smith

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