Ways to Identify Computer Geeks:


By What Computer Geeks say to their Coprocessers:


  • I wish to uncompress you over *all* my disk space.
  • Oh little processer of my desire!
  • Be the hard drive of my dreams.
  • I want all of our functions to be read/write.
  • Living with you is like virtual reality.
  • We can make beautiful .wav files together.
  • May we never have any bad CRC's.
  • I output gibberish as you tap my keypad.
  • Before you, I was a PC without a power outlet.
  • Let's interface our hardware.
  • Press any key to continue.
  • May our communication always be synchronous.
  • Don't worry, the first couple of times it's always Abort, Retry, Fail.
  • I'll always have cache for you.
  • Our LoveRoutines link perfectly.
  • Ever since I met you, I've been looping a recursive subroutine.
  • No kinky Windows stuff.
  • I think we should increase our bandwidth.
  • Every once and a while two numbers meet, link, and become forever binary.
  • Well, if that's how you feel, I guess it's time to upgrade.
  • Oh, you found out about my backups, didn't you?
  • Trust me, I'm user friendly.
  • Well, now you've gone and killed my process.
  • You can't exit yet, you still have stopped jobs!
  • Phone for you, I think it's your motherboard.

    What they say:______________________What they mean:

    bonding experience______________________________StarCon Melee
    early supper____________________________________4 am
    real food_______________________________________coke and pizza
    entertainment___________________________________UNIX novices
    second language_________________________________English
    primary language________________________________C
    dead language___________________________________Basic
    ancient history__________________________________Intel 8088
    reasonable______________________________________expensive
    cramped________________________________________340 meg
    semi-intelligent__________________________________Macintosh
    artificial intelligence______________________________users

    Signs of a Computer Geek: