The Top 18 Signs You're Pledging the Wrong Sorority/Fraternity.

18: Three Words: Sigma Alpha Macarena.

17: Nobody joins in your armpit rendition of "Louie, Louie."

16: Constant arguments between the two of you about who gets to be President and who gets to be Vice President.

15: Every Spring Break... a bitchin' road trip to the Nixon Library.

14: You're the ONLY minority to pledge Kappa Kappa Kappa.

13: A bunch of college guys sitting around knitting & reading romance novels is just too damn weird.

12: Assembly room features a runway and posters of Dennis Rodman in drag.

11: The secret handshake involves removing your pants.

10: Pledge week started with a shaved head and toga party, but now you're selling flowers at the airport.

9: "Republican Convention?! ROOOOAD TRIIIIP!"

8: Tropical Nights party is authentic right down to the malaria epidemic.

7: Initiation involves flying a crop duster over the White House.

6: Everytime someone yells "Biff! Muffy's on the phone!" the whole damn house comes running.

5: Every Monday night is Melrose Place/self-breast-exam night.

4: In EVERY room, at EVERY function, out of EVERY speaker: John Tesh

3: Their idea of a wild party: slam out a few pages of code, then memorize Star Trek dialogue.

2: Their good looks, fabulous wealth, and popularity are sure signs that they're gonna get their comeuppance in a big,humiliating way by a ragtag group of misfits at Homecoming.

and the #1 Sign You're Pledging the Wrong Sorority/Fraternity...

1: "Smegma" may sound like a letter in the Greek alphabet, but it's not.

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