DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED
You'll recall a Darwin Award winner not long ago where a former airforce
sergeant decided to strap a cargo plane rocket booster to his car to see
how fast it would go and ended up killing himself when his car didn't
egotiate a curve in the road in Northern Mew Mexico where he had set up
his experiment (hence the "Darwin" award...in the struggle for survival
only the fittest survive....).
Here's the 1997 winner: Larry Walters of Los Angeles. Larry is one of the
few to win the award and still be alive. Larry's boyhood dream was to fly.
When he graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of
becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. When he
was finally discharged, he had to satisfy himself with watching jets fly over
his backyard.
One day, Larry, brightened up. He decided to fly. He went to the local
Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and several tanks
of helium. The weather bolloons, when fully inflated, measured more than
four feet across. Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his
sturdy lawn chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and
inflated the balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was
still only a few feet above the ground. Satisfied that it would work, Larry
packed several sandwiches and a six-pack of miller lite, loaded his pellet
gun - figuring he could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend - and
went back to the floating lawn chair where he tied himself in along with his
pellet gun and provisions. Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a height of
about 30 feet above his back yard after severing the anchor and in a few
hours come back down.
Things didn't quite work out for Larry. When he cut the cord anchoring the
lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead
he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon. He didn't level off
at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet. After climbing and climbing,
he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At that height he couldn't risk shooting any
of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in
trouble. So he stayed, there, drifting cold and frightened for more than 14
hours when he found himself in the primary approach corridor of LAX.
A Pan Am pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and described
passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed the existence of
an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport. LAX emergency procedures
swung into full alert and a helicopter was dispatched to investigate. LAX
is right on the ocean. Night was falling and the offshore breeze began to
flow. It carried Larry out to sea. Right on Larry's heels was the
helicopter. Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once
the crew determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in
for a rescue but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever
they neared.
Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet above
Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line, with which he was
hauled back to shore, a difficult manuver, flawlessly executed by the
helicopter crew.. As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by
waiting members of the LAPD for violating LAX airsapce. As he was led away
in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue, asked him
whay he had done it. Larrry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, "A
man can't just sit around."
Here's a salute to Larry Walters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.
(
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