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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M
duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the
"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go
another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the
newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue
M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition
that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier,
or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness,
but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way,
the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of
the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it
neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.,
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please
use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2
pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside
the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will
discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
What do ya think? Since one of my field is genetics, I found this
really cool! It "stimulated" certain point in me which simply makes
me laugh rolling around on the floor and bang my head onto the
keyboard !! (However the fact that I was in the computer lab didn't
let me do that...) Anyways, I'd be glad if you guys enjoy this.
(
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