************ Prestedigitous Pomegranate of Serendipitiness ******************
The Prestedigitous Pomegranate of Serendipitiness is very similar to the
Magical Grapefruit of Love and mystical sister fruit, the Enchanted Banana
of Happiness. This is not to say that the PPS is in any way superior to the
MGL or the EBH, just that the sentiments are roughly equivalent. The
difference is that while some prefer bananas and grapefuits, others have
come to know and love that most passionate of fruits, the pomegranate.
Adding a perhaps broader-spectrum fruit to the variety of fruity choices
(and completing the blessed trinity needed for a truly great salad), I
introduce to the world the Prestedigitous Pomegranate of Serendipitiness. It
has been given to you by someone who thinks that you are really, without a
doubt, rather more than excellent. I mean really, truly, beyond great.
Certifiably fantastic is the sort of scale I'm trying to convey: a genuine,
all-around marvel of a companion.
The giver may be anyone from stranger to brother, friend or lover... In any
case you have mesmerized this person with your pomegranite-esque qualities -
passion, strength, beauty, death-defying punctuality... they are drawn to
you, for whatever reason. Perhaps you make them feel welcome and at ease,
they can be themselves around you... or perhaps the very thought of your
presence stirs something deep inside them, a deep scarlet yearning like
nothing they have ever felt... Half the fun is not knowing...
Like the Grapefruit and the Banana, the proper response for the
Prestedigitous Pomegranate of Serendipitiness is a gesture of affection,
perhaps a lingering hug-squeeze and a soft smile... there's no time limit,
of course, but pomegranate are best when served when ripe, but still
fresh... If you are located such that a tactile response is not feasable,
how about something creative... flowers, a fruit basket... a phone call...
maybe a similarly fruit-flavoured email (or snail-mail!) response. The PPS
is a way of saying, "You make me happy, and I want the same for you - maybe
you don't know it, but now you do, you groovy-wicked, hoopy frood, you."
Sincerest apologies if you expected an actual pomegranate. While firmer
fruits are more suitable to be send electronically (apples and the like),
pomegranate molecules will experience a colour shift at the incredibly high
speeds they would be travelling, leaving red streaks and blue stains all
over your screen and oozing from your keyboard, mouse, parallel ports and so
on. Eventually the miracle of science will allow an pomegranate to travel
through the phone lines safely. Fret not on that, though, as you now know
that someone approves very strongly of your existence, and would be an
excellent choice as a character witness should you be put on trial for
unproductive use of oxygen.
Besides the afore-mentioned gesture of kindness and affection, this
Serendipitous Fruit pleads for you to brighten the life of another by
sending this message (or hand-drawn facsimile... or fax-drawn spam simile,
even) to someone you feel is deserving of recognition as a sparkling point
of light in your life. The Prestedigitous Pomegranate of Serendipitiness is
not to be garnered and hoarded, it is to be shared... pass it on. Remember the
exquisite sensations of mysterious wonder and tingling pleasure you
experienced when you first recieved it? If you send it on you may one day
feel this again.
This is not a chain letter. Neither you nor anyone else will die, fall sick
with disease, gain or lose vast quantities of money, or, in fact, fall
victim to any other typically chain-letter-threat-like fate as a direct
result of you not passing the Pomegranate on... however, think of the bright
spot it might put in the day of someone who you know is truly deserving.
Show them how much you appreciate their friendship (and/or hugs, kisses,
massages, gentle caresses, smouldering glances or what have you) with a
lovely recognition of their wonderous nature and of your feelings for them!
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