A MODEST PROPOSAL
We are in complete accord with Bernard Shaw's campaign for a simplified
alphabet. But instead of immediate drastic legislation, we advocate a
modified plan.
In 1987, for example, we would urge the substituting of "s" for soft "c".
Sertainly students in all sities of the land would be reseptive to this.
In 1988 the hard "c" would be replased by "k" sinse both letters are
pronounsed identikally. Not only would this klarify the konfusion in the
minds of spellers, but typewriters and komputers kould all be built with one
less letter and all the manpower and materials previously devoted to making
"c's" kould be used to raise the national standard of living.
In the subsequent blaze of publisity, it would be announsed that that
troublesome "ph" would henseforth be written "f". This would make words
like "fonograf" 20 persent shorter in print.
By 1989 publik interest in a fonetik alfabet kan be expekted to have
reatshed a point where more radikal prosedures are indikated. We would urge
at that time the elimination of al double leters whitsh have always ben a
nuisanse and desided deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent "e's" in our language is
disgrasful. Therfor, in 1991, we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and
writ merily along as though we wer in an atomik ag of education. Sins by
this tim it would be four years sins anywun had used the leter "c", we would
then sugest substituting "c" for "th".
Kontinuing cis proses year after year, we would eventuali hav a reali
sensibl writen languag. By 2000 wi ventyur tu sa cer wud bi no mor uv ces
teribli trublsum difkultis. Even Mr. Yaw we beliv wud be hapi in ce noleg
cat his drims finali kam tru.
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